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10 Things Only Loved Ones of People Who Do Shift Work Would Understand

10 Things Only Loved Ones of People Who Do Shift Work Would Understand

Many of us are aware that it’s not easy to do shift work. Disruption of normal sleep patterns is just one of the many challenges only shift workers would understand. But do you ever take a moment to think about the difficulties and struggles that the loved ones of people who do shift work face?

Few people think about what these people go through, and sadly seldom do we talk about what these loving people are up against. So today we are going to break the silence and honor these affectionate souls by highlighting some of the struggles only you, as a loved one of someone who does shift work, would understand.

1. You hardly ever get the chance to just sit and enjoy quality time with them.

That’s because your loved one who does shift work is always away working when you’d have loved to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. While this upsets you sometimes, you understand that they have to go to work.

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2. You don’t get time to go out together anymore.

You used to spend mornings out together or go on fun date nights with them, but now you don’t dare ask them to go out with you because you both have different sleep schedules and they need to catch their sleep on off-hours. Even on holidays when you might want to go out and have some fun with them, they don’t feel like spending the day out. And you completely understand because they have to work the next night.

3. You can’t just pick up the phone and call them anytime you want.

That’s because you don’t know if they’re sleeping or not. They’re always moving from night shift to day shift and vise versa, and it’s difficult to know for sure whether they are free to take calls. Besides, some work places have strict cell phone policies and you don’t want to get them in trouble by calling them when they are at work.

4. You have a hard time making plans in advance that include them.

They might tell you their boss has promised a rotation to allow them to attend an event you’re planning, but you can’t be sure that the promise will pan out. So you put them under the “Maybe” category of those coming to your event, even if they said they’ll be there. Usually this is the case until the day before the event when you, hopefully, realize their shift duty was actually moved and they will indeed be there.

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5. You expect them to miss or skip most social gatherings.

Why? Because you know they don’t have the weekends free to meet up with friends and family like everyone else does. They work odd hours, and sometimes that means missing important social gatherings, including birthday parties, graduations, and family meetings. It makes you sad that you rarely see them and that their youngest cousins usually have no idea who they are. But you try to understand that love—no matter how important and fulfilling it is—doesn’t pay the bills.

6. It is hard to spend time with them because they always seem so tired.

This happens when they somehow manage to beat the system and show up to hang out and spend time with you and other loved ones. You may even notice they are moody or irritable with their own children, relatives, and friends because of being so tired.

7. You sometimes feel as though you both exist in parallel universes.

This is especially true if you are a married couple with kids. You may feel like you’re not a team as parents, not because of any conflicting parenting styles, but because it seems like they don’t have time for you and the kids. Your kids, parents, and even close friends often ask about their absence, and it secretly hurts you inside to answer why he/she is not there with you.

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8. You sometimes feel lonely and emotionally isolated.

That’s because your partner or loved one is never there. You just wish you would have more time to spend with them, but you know demanding more time will only create stress. You understand that your loved one has a difficult work schedule and needs their sleep and time to rest, just like everyone else.

9. You always hope that they’ll be available for Christmas.

Christmas is always a busy time for everyone. But if you do shift work, this time of the year is often more hectic than usual. It may be that Christmas doesn’t stop your loved one from working. So each year you cross your fingers and hope they will get a break and be available to spend Christmas with you, which unfortunately doesn’t always happen.

10. You’re heartbroken every time you see those bags under their eyes.

When he or she comes back home or walks in the room and you notice that major sleep face and those fierce bags under their eyes, it just breaks your heart. And you never mention how tired you are yourself to them because you know they’ve been up working the shift since 1 in the morning!

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Featured photo credit: Healthy Morning Snack with a Tea/VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur. He is also the founding editor of Web Writer Spotlight.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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