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10 Things Beta Men Do That Make Them Truly Great Guys

10 Things Beta Men Do That Make Them Truly Great Guys

Let’s face it. Beta men aren’t always seen as the most exciting, thrilling, or interesting guys. In fact, Beta men wouldn’t even describe themselves as “Beta.” In other words, I can’t imagine two guys chest bumping one another and yelling out, “Beta bros for life!”

So then, what is beta? According to Psychgrad on Urban Dictionary, Beta guys are those on the side lines supporting the team. After all, each team however big or small, may only have one true leader. They often seek more meaningful relationships because they measure value by how well they work with others. Because of this, they are often the best long-term partners.

Instead of acting like someone they truly aren’t and fighting the system, beta males can actually start to act more like who they already are and use these qualities to their advantage. Here are 10 unique reasons why they are great guys.

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1.  They think before they act

Beta guys are often quieter and more introspective. They want to think before they say the wrong thing and genuinely care about other people. For example, they might not want to be the center of attention, because they see the value of bringing the group together, rather than promoting their individual needs. Sometimes beta guys think too much and can forget to act at all!

2.  They listen before they speak

Beta guys like to listen to other perspectives and opinions before butting in with their own beliefs. They would rather get all the facts in order before stating their own. Beta guys are often called “great listeners” who will do anything to understand another point of view. Sometimes beta guys do this to a fault, and can forget to share their own perspective because they don’t want to disrupt the system.

3.  They notice the little things

Beta guys are often acutely aware of their surroundings. They notice things that other people may not notice. They pay attention to detail and are often proud of the work they put into something. Often, beta guys will know their friends, co-workers, and partners better than they know themselves. Sometimes beta guys don’t communicate this knowledge in the right way and notice a little bit too much.

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4.  They want to make a deeper connection

Instead of shallow relationships or “picking up” dates, beta guys want to make a deep connection with other people. They aren’t concerned so much about the moment, but rather a long term future with someone. They’d rather put in the work of getting to know one person, rather than randomly finding anyone to talk at.

5.  They don’t like to talk about themselves

Sometimes beta guys forget to talk about why they are important and how they can add value to a relationship. They don’t like to brag about themselves because they often don’t see how it will benefit the greater good. Beta guys would rather spend their time listening to someone else than talking about how awesome they are.

6.  They are great problem solvers

Because beta guys typically think deeply, they often have a natural ability to problem solve. Sometimes it means solving a complex math problem; sometimes it means crafting something out of love. Sometimes it means offering a unique solution that no-one else has even considered. Beta guys can easily take a step back and look at something for what it is and leave their ego at the door.

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7.  They enjoy spending time doing what they love

Passion is often synonymous with beta guys. They like to fully immerse themselves in whatever they are doing. Sometimes it can come across as overbearing because they are passionate about other people. On the other hand, they can often forget to acknowledge other people, because they are so enthralled with what they are doing, even if what they’re doing doesn’t appear to be “interesting” to others.

8.  They want to improve their relationships

Beta guys don’t care as much about themselves, and would rather enhance the relationship, over their own self interests. They would rather keep the peace in their relationships, instead of getting their own way. Beta guys often deeply care about their significant other and would do anything for them. Beta men care about themselves but would readily sacrifice themselves for the greater good of the relationship.

9. They want to be with the right person

Sometimes beta guys believe they’ve found the “right” person too quickly. They think they’ve found the one quickly after meeting someone that pays any attention to them. They often would do anything to try and convince the other person why they are right for them, instead of looking at who is actually right for them. Deep down, beta guys don’t want to be with just anyone, and want to find someone who will love them for who they are.

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10.  They want to really get to know you

Beta guys want to get to know the real you. They don’t want like to be around fake people who put on a show. They will take the time to listen, but only if you show them who you really are, over time. Beta guys quickly become overwhelmed over the long term with too much information that they don’t know how to fix. However, beta guys can often cut through the nonsense and understand where someone else is coming from.

Beta guys don’t have to finish last and they aren’t destined to be alone. They are often overlooked as valuable potential partners because they aren’t seen as the most thrilling, bodacious, or rad guys. On the other hand, beta men don’t always show other people just how important they are.

The more we can better understand one another, the more beta guys will be seen as great guys who can be themselves, instead of living in a manly world that tells them they can’t.

Featured photo credit: StartupStockPhotos via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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