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10 Things Beta Men Do That Make Them Truly Great Guys

10 Things Beta Men Do That Make Them Truly Great Guys

Let’s face it. Beta men aren’t always seen as the most exciting, thrilling, or interesting guys. In fact, Beta men wouldn’t even describe themselves as “Beta.” In other words, I can’t imagine two guys chest bumping one another and yelling out, “Beta bros for life!”

So then, what is beta? According to Psychgrad on Urban Dictionary, Beta guys are those on the side lines supporting the team. After all, each team however big or small, may only have one true leader. They often seek more meaningful relationships because they measure value by how well they work with others. Because of this, they are often the best long-term partners.

Instead of acting like someone they truly aren’t and fighting the system, beta males can actually start to act more like who they already are and use these qualities to their advantage. Here are 10 unique reasons why they are great guys.

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1.  They think before they act

Beta guys are often quieter and more introspective. They want to think before they say the wrong thing and genuinely care about other people. For example, they might not want to be the center of attention, because they see the value of bringing the group together, rather than promoting their individual needs. Sometimes beta guys think too much and can forget to act at all!

2.  They listen before they speak

Beta guys like to listen to other perspectives and opinions before butting in with their own beliefs. They would rather get all the facts in order before stating their own. Beta guys are often called “great listeners” who will do anything to understand another point of view. Sometimes beta guys do this to a fault, and can forget to share their own perspective because they don’t want to disrupt the system.

3.  They notice the little things

Beta guys are often acutely aware of their surroundings. They notice things that other people may not notice. They pay attention to detail and are often proud of the work they put into something. Often, beta guys will know their friends, co-workers, and partners better than they know themselves. Sometimes beta guys don’t communicate this knowledge in the right way and notice a little bit too much.

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4.  They want to make a deeper connection

Instead of shallow relationships or “picking up” dates, beta guys want to make a deep connection with other people. They aren’t concerned so much about the moment, but rather a long term future with someone. They’d rather put in the work of getting to know one person, rather than randomly finding anyone to talk at.

5.  They don’t like to talk about themselves

Sometimes beta guys forget to talk about why they are important and how they can add value to a relationship. They don’t like to brag about themselves because they often don’t see how it will benefit the greater good. Beta guys would rather spend their time listening to someone else than talking about how awesome they are.

6.  They are great problem solvers

Because beta guys typically think deeply, they often have a natural ability to problem solve. Sometimes it means solving a complex math problem; sometimes it means crafting something out of love. Sometimes it means offering a unique solution that no-one else has even considered. Beta guys can easily take a step back and look at something for what it is and leave their ego at the door.

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7.  They enjoy spending time doing what they love

Passion is often synonymous with beta guys. They like to fully immerse themselves in whatever they are doing. Sometimes it can come across as overbearing because they are passionate about other people. On the other hand, they can often forget to acknowledge other people, because they are so enthralled with what they are doing, even if what they’re doing doesn’t appear to be “interesting” to others.

8.  They want to improve their relationships

Beta guys don’t care as much about themselves, and would rather enhance the relationship, over their own self interests. They would rather keep the peace in their relationships, instead of getting their own way. Beta guys often deeply care about their significant other and would do anything for them. Beta men care about themselves but would readily sacrifice themselves for the greater good of the relationship.

9. They want to be with the right person

Sometimes beta guys believe they’ve found the “right” person too quickly. They think they’ve found the one quickly after meeting someone that pays any attention to them. They often would do anything to try and convince the other person why they are right for them, instead of looking at who is actually right for them. Deep down, beta guys don’t want to be with just anyone, and want to find someone who will love them for who they are.

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10.  They want to really get to know you

Beta guys want to get to know the real you. They don’t want like to be around fake people who put on a show. They will take the time to listen, but only if you show them who you really are, over time. Beta guys quickly become overwhelmed over the long term with too much information that they don’t know how to fix. However, beta guys can often cut through the nonsense and understand where someone else is coming from.

Beta guys don’t have to finish last and they aren’t destined to be alone. They are often overlooked as valuable potential partners because they aren’t seen as the most thrilling, bodacious, or rad guys. On the other hand, beta men don’t always show other people just how important they are.

The more we can better understand one another, the more beta guys will be seen as great guys who can be themselves, instead of living in a manly world that tells them they can’t.

Featured photo credit: StartupStockPhotos via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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