Advertising
Advertising

10 Things About Love Only Introverts Would Understand

10 Things About Love Only Introverts Would Understand

Do you consider yourself an introvert?

Or maybe you are in a relationship with someone you consider an introvert?

If you are an introvert it’s easy to assume the extroverts in our life could never understand how we view love. But let’s give them some insight as to how we view love and our relationships. Time to help them out a bit at deciphering the magical mysterious beings we introverts are!

Advertising

1. Introverts need quiet time with those we love.

We are quiet, but the voice in our heads is very loud. Sometimes loving us is simply respecting the quiet we need to function. We don’t need the air full of words to feel love. We just need you with us, quietly there allowing us to be authentic. We love to enjoy simple, quiet time together with you by our side.

2. Introverts can step out of our comfort zone for love.

We can stretch and be more extroverted for brief periods of time. We only do so for people who truly mean the world to us. So when we agree to go to the large wedding party with you, we would love if you could balance that gift. The next day we may need time to recharge in solitude afterwards, and having your support for that time will make us more willing to step out of our comfort zone again.

introvert love lock

    3. Introverts only unlock our hearts for the most special of souls.

    If we have picked you we have already determined you’re worth the risk. We have chosen you as one of the few worthy of letting see our inner self. This leaves us vulnerable, but some people are worth that risk.

    Advertising

    4. Introverts deeply value listening.

    Listening is showing love to us. We are thoughtful before we speak. So if we have expressed something to you, know to us it is 100% true. We don’t take words lightly. When we communicate something important know that we have spent time beforehand considering our message carefully. Introverts are very good listeners and love to have that same respect returned in kind.

    5. Introverts do not mean to seem distant in love. 

    When you love an introvert you may always feel a tiny bit like an outsider in our little world. We are like our own little universe of being. Once you are granted deep connection know that never goes away for us. We risk that level to very few. There is no big secret we are hiding up in our heads. We are just thinking, processing, turning life over in constant examination. It’s just part of who we are.

    6. Introverts often fall in love with extroverts.

    We admire and envy you at the same time.  We are in awe of your ability to woo others, and charm the room. The ease at which you seem with strangers. It is part of why we are attracted to you. But it is also a little threatening to us. We see in you something we know we can’t be, and we worry you will grow bored of our quiet spirits.

    Advertising

    7. It’s best to let an introvert think before you argue. 

    We need time. We work things out in our heads first. We choose our words with care. Just diving into a reactive fight to is not going to work well for an introvert. Often when we go along with hashing it out before we are ready we won’t really buy into the resolution. If we process first, and then talk you will know exactly where we stand.

    introvert love couple

      8. Introverts long to be understood.

      We depend on those we love to understand us. Sometimes we do live in our heads far too long. We tend to over-think many things. Being in love with someone who understands these things about us helps us reach out more often. If you wonder just ask us. We appreciate knowing you are noticing, reaching out and that when we are ready to get out of our heads you are there for us.

      9. Introverts love to have fun.

      Just because we don’t gain energy from large gatherings doesn’t mean we don’t love to laugh and have a blast. Introverts have sharp witty humor that reveals itself when they are with people they trust. A quiet spirit doesn’t mean boring by any means.

      Advertising

      introvert love hands

        10. Introverts love to know you are happy. 

        We know we are different, or at least we feel different than others. We don’t expect everyone to be just like us, or enjoy the same things. We want to make you happy. We need to know if you are happy with the level of social activities we share, and in the depth that we share ourselves. It is a balance of taking turns giving to each other without giving more than we have. We want to know we are doing our part to meet your needs and that we make you happy.

        That’s not so mysterious is it? Introverts are some of the most loyal, supportive, uplifting, peaceful souls among us. For an introvert to have picked you to share life with means you are one amazing person worthy of risking our heart and soul for. Enjoy that honor and enjoy unwrapping layer by layer the depths of the person you love!

        If you are an introvert don’t be afraid to communicate fully who you are to your love and what you need. Introvert and extrovert alike we have a lot to learn from each other if we communicate with openness, love and a better understanding of each other.

        Featured photo credit: Andrii IURLOV via 123rf.com

        More by this author

        6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve 5 Truths About Abusive Relationships 10 Things About Love Only Introverts Would Understand 20 Really Cute Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Your Special One 6 Things College Won’t Teach You That Make or Break Your Career

        Trending in Communication

        1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on May 21, 2019

        How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

        How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

        For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

        If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

        Example 1

        You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

        You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

        In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

        Example 2

        You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

        People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

        You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

        Example 3

        You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

        Advertising

        The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

        Example 4

        You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

        Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

        If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

        Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

        • Understand your own communication style
        • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
        • Communicate with precision and care
        • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

        1. Understand Your Communication Style

        To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

        In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

        Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

        2. Learn Others Communication Styles

        Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

        Advertising

        If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

        “How do you prefer to receive information?”

        This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

        To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

        3. Exercise Precision and Care

        A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

        On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

        Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

        I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

        I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

        Advertising

        In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

        The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

        Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

        4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

        Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

        In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

        “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

        Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

        Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

        It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

        Advertising

        It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

        It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

        Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

        Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

        The Bottom Line

        When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

        I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

        More Articles About Effective Communication

        Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

        Reference

        Read Next