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10 Things About Love Only Introverts Would Understand

10 Things About Love Only Introverts Would Understand

Do you consider yourself an introvert?

Or maybe you are in a relationship with someone you consider an introvert?

If you are an introvert it’s easy to assume the extroverts in our life could never understand how we view love. But let’s give them some insight as to how we view love and our relationships. Time to help them out a bit at deciphering the magical mysterious beings we introverts are!

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1. Introverts need quiet time with those we love.

We are quiet, but the voice in our heads is very loud. Sometimes loving us is simply respecting the quiet we need to function. We don’t need the air full of words to feel love. We just need you with us, quietly there allowing us to be authentic. We love to enjoy simple, quiet time together with you by our side.

2. Introverts can step out of our comfort zone for love.

We can stretch and be more extroverted for brief periods of time. We only do so for people who truly mean the world to us. So when we agree to go to the large wedding party with you, we would love if you could balance that gift. The next day we may need time to recharge in solitude afterwards, and having your support for that time will make us more willing to step out of our comfort zone again.

introvert love lock

    3. Introverts only unlock our hearts for the most special of souls.

    If we have picked you we have already determined you’re worth the risk. We have chosen you as one of the few worthy of letting see our inner self. This leaves us vulnerable, but some people are worth that risk.

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    4. Introverts deeply value listening.

    Listening is showing love to us. We are thoughtful before we speak. So if we have expressed something to you, know to us it is 100% true. We don’t take words lightly. When we communicate something important know that we have spent time beforehand considering our message carefully. Introverts are very good listeners and love to have that same respect returned in kind.

    5. Introverts do not mean to seem distant in love. 

    When you love an introvert you may always feel a tiny bit like an outsider in our little world. We are like our own little universe of being. Once you are granted deep connection know that never goes away for us. We risk that level to very few. There is no big secret we are hiding up in our heads. We are just thinking, processing, turning life over in constant examination. It’s just part of who we are.

    6. Introverts often fall in love with extroverts.

    We admire and envy you at the same time.  We are in awe of your ability to woo others, and charm the room. The ease at which you seem with strangers. It is part of why we are attracted to you. But it is also a little threatening to us. We see in you something we know we can’t be, and we worry you will grow bored of our quiet spirits.

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    7. It’s best to let an introvert think before you argue. 

    We need time. We work things out in our heads first. We choose our words with care. Just diving into a reactive fight to is not going to work well for an introvert. Often when we go along with hashing it out before we are ready we won’t really buy into the resolution. If we process first, and then talk you will know exactly where we stand.

    introvert love couple

      8. Introverts long to be understood.

      We depend on those we love to understand us. Sometimes we do live in our heads far too long. We tend to over-think many things. Being in love with someone who understands these things about us helps us reach out more often. If you wonder just ask us. We appreciate knowing you are noticing, reaching out and that when we are ready to get out of our heads you are there for us.

      9. Introverts love to have fun.

      Just because we don’t gain energy from large gatherings doesn’t mean we don’t love to laugh and have a blast. Introverts have sharp witty humor that reveals itself when they are with people they trust. A quiet spirit doesn’t mean boring by any means.

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      introvert love hands

        10. Introverts love to know you are happy. 

        We know we are different, or at least we feel different than others. We don’t expect everyone to be just like us, or enjoy the same things. We want to make you happy. We need to know if you are happy with the level of social activities we share, and in the depth that we share ourselves. It is a balance of taking turns giving to each other without giving more than we have. We want to know we are doing our part to meet your needs and that we make you happy.

        That’s not so mysterious is it? Introverts are some of the most loyal, supportive, uplifting, peaceful souls among us. For an introvert to have picked you to share life with means you are one amazing person worthy of risking our heart and soul for. Enjoy that honor and enjoy unwrapping layer by layer the depths of the person you love!

        If you are an introvert don’t be afraid to communicate fully who you are to your love and what you need. Introvert and extrovert alike we have a lot to learn from each other if we communicate with openness, love and a better understanding of each other.

        Featured photo credit: Andrii IURLOV via 123rf.com

        More by this author

        Dawn Hafner

        Dawn is a Practical Life Coach who offers concrete tools to help people implement life changes.

        Had a Bad Day? 6 Ways to Rebound from It 6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve 5 Truths About Abusive Relationships 10 Things About Love Only Introverts Would Understand 20 Really Cute Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Your Special One

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        Last Updated on January 16, 2020

        12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

        12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

        The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

        However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

        “Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

        Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

        1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

        When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

        Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

        2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

        That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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        Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

        3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

        If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

        For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

        People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

        This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

        4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

        Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

        Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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        Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

        Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

        “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

        5. Crack a smile.

        If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

        Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

        6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

        Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

        And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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        7. Groom yourself.

        This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

        A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

        8. Dress nicely.

        Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

        While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

        9. Do activities you enjoy.

        Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

        You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

        10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

        Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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        Why?

        Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

        Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

        Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

        11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

        Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

        Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

        12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

        Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

        The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

        Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

        Reference

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