Advertising
Advertising

10 Simple Ways To Deal With Sadness When You Still Need To Work

10 Simple Ways To Deal With Sadness When You Still Need To Work

There’s overwhelming pressure to look happy at work when you’re dealing with sadness. The “mask” you wear can be unbearable.  What happens when you just filed for divorce?  When your children are in trouble? When you’re in trouble?  There is a way to accept your sadness and not let it control you.  The last thing you want is to appear weak or vulnerable in the office.  Here are some ways to help you deal with sadness and stay focused.

1. Be sad.

Don’t force happy. As long as you get the work done on time, no one is going to notice. Aside from crying openly in the office, manage your sadness in other ways:  write yourself an email listing all your sad thoughts, bring a knitted-stress ball to work.  You can stick needles in it during lunch as you imagine the person or thing doing you wrong.  It’s important not to hold this heavy, negative energy in your body.  You may let it out on the wrong person in the next cubicle.

2. Put together a self-care kit & don’t forget it at home.

Your bag is going to be heavy during this time, but for good reason.  Bring a few of your favorite magazines, lavender oil for relaxation, scented hand cream, aspirin, and a few bags of your favorite hot beverage, like coffee, tea or cocoa.  When everything else fails, grab one of these before a meltdown.

Advertising

3. Eat well.

Cooking is one of the hardest things to do when sad, so keep it simple, but delicious.  Favorite kid foods can bring back memories of comfortable, safe moments growing up.  Fix a couple of almond butter and strawberry jam sandwiches or a simple grilled cheese with tomato soup.  These pack enough basic nutrition to keep you alive, give you some energy to make eye contact, and help you last until the next break.

4. Listen to audio books.

It’s one of the best ways to keep people off your back.  Pop in a motivational book or the latest novel and drift away.  If you find your mind wandering, turn it off, but keep the plugs in your ears. Passersby will think you’re still listening and will not want to disturb you.

5. Do productive spurts of 45 minutes.

You have little energy for work, when all your energy is working out what’s happening in your life. Break your days up into 45-minute blocks of steady productivity.  After each block, smoke a cigarette, take a walk, or disappear for a few minutes to clear your head.  If you have to stay near the phone, consider letting some calls go to voicemail in between blocks to give you time to clear your head, and start again.

Advertising

6. Keep pesky co-workers at bay.

Establish healthy boundaries with talkative types who demand time and energy to act like you’re really interested in what they’re saying. You can use email and skip the face-to-face “check-ins.”

7. Eat at your desk.

Instead of joining the crew for lunch, stay behind.  You can eat in your office or desk and sit with your sadness. Be open to any solutions that arise.  Again, don’t suppress how you feel.  Oftentimes, in the routine of a workday, you may get the answers you need.

8. Get some sun and fresh air.

Leave the office.  If eating lunch at your desk doesn’t work, step outside for some fresh air, and natural vitamin D.  Vitamin D is a natural mood booster, and all it takes is 10 minutes.  The fresh air will soothe your nerves and give you a sense of well-being.

Advertising

9. Spend time in the bathroom.

Can’t sit at your desk for lunch or leave the office without someone making a big stink?  Go to the bathroom for a little rest and relaxation.  Not exactly the most serene place, but a notable venue for contemplation.  Stand or sit and do some deep breathing (bring that lavender oil, just in case) and feel your sadness.  Let it out. There’s plenty of tissue on deck.

10. Ask for help.

If you feel overwhelmed, ask a trusted colleague to help.  Perhaps, you can offer to take a shift or finish one of their projects as an exchange.  Keep the work you’re handing over small, and manageable, and use your free-time to focus on less, demanding tasks.

Sometimes the best way to deal with sadness that lasts more than a few days is to take some time off.  They don’t call them “personal days” for nothing.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: photo credit:

More by this author

If You Are Always Criticizing Your Partner, Read This 16 Sad Songs to Listen to When You Need a Good Cry 15 Things That Introverts Would Never Tell You How You Can Learn to Code Right Now for Free 7 Ways To Make Friends As An Introvert

Trending in Communication

1The Gentle Art of Saying No 217 Ted Talks for Kids to Inspire Little Minds to Do Big Things 310 Toxic Persons You Should Just Get Rid Of 4Striving Towards Secure Attachment: How to Restructure Your Thoughts 5Being Self Aware Is the Key to Success: How to Boost Self Awareness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

Advertising

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

Advertising

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

Advertising

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Advertising

Read Next