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10 Signs You’re Not As Ethical As You Think

10 Signs You’re Not As Ethical As You Think

We all like to think of ourselves as ethical. Whether it’s at work or when dealing with complete strangers, our ethics are essentially what set us apart from other species. But while you might consider yourself an ethical person – you don’t steal, you always remember to hold the door open for the person behind you – you might not have the squeaky-clean ethical reputation that you like to think you have. Here are 10 signs that your ethics may not be as ironclad as you assume.

1. You’re Not Accountable

No one likes making mistakes, but if you find yourself looking the other way when (rightly) accused of doing something wrong, you’re probably causing someone else to be the fall guy. Not cool! Owning up your oops is better form.

2. You Fudge the Definition of Honesty

While you might never, let’s say, lie to a cop during a deposition, you might be fudging the parameters of honesty on a daily basis. Whether it’s a white lie as to why you were late to work or telling someone that you “missed” their ignored call, dishonesty gets the better of the best of us.

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3. Your Sense of Fairness is Skewed

In general, humans like to think that they make solid judgment calls. But your sense of fairness and equality is skewed by things like your upbringing, your education, even your geographical location. Think about it: when was the last time you thought someone “deserved” something negative, like a demotion or even spilling a cup of coffee on their shirt? If you see undue mishaps that befall other people to be a good thing, your sense of fairness may be off.

4. You Expect the Worst

When you’re ethical yourself, you hope that others maintain those same high standards. However, consistently expecting the worst – especially without fair reason – could be considered itself unethical, particularly if that mistrust causes you do unethical things, such as installing spyware on a spouse’s phone, for instance.

5. Your Thoughts Don’t Always Become Actions

“I should volunteer more often.” It’s an ethical thought, but without action those ethics stay firmly entrenched in your head. When your good thoughts don’t become ethical actions, can you still be considered an ethical person? Ethics are about a commitment to actively pursuing what’s right, so without the follow through your thoughts alone aren’t enough to cement your status as a morally upstanding person.

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6. You Don’t Care

While ethics dictate your behavior, if you simply don’t care about how those actions affect other people, your behavior can become unethical. Demonstrating compassion to all means working toward the greater good, so simply taking an “I don’t care” approach – even when you’re technically being ethical – could defy the purpose of ethics in general.

7. Your Communication is Lacking

Communication is one of the most important facets of ethical behavior. We’ve all plead a bad connection when we didn’t want to talk to someone on the phone, or made up an excuse about why we couldn’t return a friendly email. But while it might seem like no big deal, that blip in communication can put a strain on relationships, and the lying won’t help your ethical scorecard.

8. You Let Someone Else Take Responsibility

Blaming a slipup at work on another person may seem like a knee-jerk reaction to avoid a negative outcome, but it can seriously affect the person who then has to take the responsibility. An ethical person takes responsibility seriously.

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9. You Don’t Reward Positive Qualities

Whether it’s loyalty in a friend or honesty in a partner, remember that some positive qualities can be a double-edge sword. Even if someone’s positive qualities affect you negatively – your spouse telling you that, yes, you do look fat in that shirt – they should be rewarded and most importantly, reciprocated.

10. You Overpromise and Underdeliver

It’s fun to be the yes-person, who can always promise the world. Unfortunately, that world can come crashing down when it’s impossible to follow through on those promises with real delivery. Instead, tempering promises can help you offer realistic and ethical expectations as you remain aligned with your own ability to perform and deliver.

Even if you consider yourself to be highly ethical, you may be overlooking some of these relatively minor character traits in your self-assessment. Your values, morals, influences and even atmosphere can dictate the way you act, communicate and respond to people and situations. To truly consider yourself an ethical person, you’ll need to examine your thoughts and actions and see how outside influences are affecting the way you interact with others – and with yourself.

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Featured photo credit: Got ethics? via shutterstock.com

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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