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10 Signs Your 30s Are Going to Be Awesome

10 Signs Your 30s Are Going to Be Awesome

Hey—now is the time to stop dreaming and start accomplishing. Time to grow up and get going. Your exciting 20s will soon be gone and your practical 30s will start.

Your 30s are a special time: There are complications but there are achievements. There are challenges but there are winning moments. There are clichés but there is newfound organization and clarity.

One thing is for sure. If you have the right attitude, your 30s will be wonderful. It’s the phase of life where your personal growth will see its peak. The mistakes you made and the experience you gained in your 20s will only polish you.

Here are 10 signs of happiness and why you should celebrate and welcome your wonderful 30s with sparkling smile on your face.

1. You don’t care as much what other people think about you

In your 20s you rebelled against everything—even things you secretly liked.The message was: stop trying to guide me. You told your folks that you weren’t a teenager anymore. You started making your own decisions about what you want from life in life. There were a lot of things you wanted to say “no” to.

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If that describes you in your 20s, it’s a good sign that you’ll stop seeking approval from other people so much in your 30s. In fact, you’ll find that you have to stop. If you do, you’ll be an independent and confident person in your 30s. Maybe you’ve made your share of mistakes but you’ve learned your lessons.

2. You finally figured out what your dream job is

If you’re not happy in your late 20s with your job or the way things are turning out in your career, it’s pretty normal. Maybe you weren’t clear back in college about the academic path that would resonate with you, or you discovered your passion late. Or maybe you landed a job just because you managed to impress the interviewer. You wanted enough cash to pay the bills, go out, and enjoy your twenties. Eventually—finally—you figured out what/where you actually want to be professionally.

You’ll now strive hard to make that dream come true in your 30s. You’ll learn to plan your career moves and settle for nothing less than your ideal job.

3. You actually care about 401(k)s and savings plans

In your late 20s, you start to repent some of that impulse shopping you did, or the money you exhausted on booze and weekend getaways. Your dream assets are used to be a fancy bike, limited edition designer jackets, high heel stilettos, or a Louis Vuitton collection. Now you want to buy a beautiful house or your dream car. But are running out of finances.

That’s why you’ll plan your 30s fantastically. You’ll be financially more stable by saving a huge chunk of your income to support your dream asset. Maybe you’ll even learn how to manage a 401(k) or buy a retirement plan.

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4. You stop kidding around

You’ve started avoiding clubbing, partying and binge drinking on weekdays. You’re not in the mood to upset your boss with hungover mistakes or with drowsy eyes the next morning.

You are settling into a life track. You now make sure to do certain things (read: partying) only on weekends. Or even better, you decide to spend your weekends doing more interesting things. Once you hit your 30s you’re going to rock in your professional life.

5. You figure out health is the way to wealth

Even in your 20s, with all the fun and bingeing, you might start getting concerned about your waistline. But hitting the gym or jogging every day still looks like something for losers.

Sooner or later though, you’ll start thinking about making your workouts fun. You’ll want to be more fit only because you love your body. Weekend hiking, swimming, sports like baseball, rugby, or roller derby—they all start to sound amazing. You’ll be much more creative about how you exercise in your 30s!

6. You’ll be wise and responsible

Falling short with finances for your dream asset, major considerations on relationships or extending your family, not fitting into your sexy outfits—all these things may have started worrying you but are actually good for your 30s!

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You will slowly but steadily stop draining your pockets. You will do your laundry regularly rather than buying new underwear every month. You will learn to cook yourself healthy meals to avoid extra calories and save some money. You’ll be wiser and responsible winning hearts of your loved ones.

7. You’ll see that hobbies and a career can go hand in hand

Your job, your bills, and your responsibilities have started taking a toll on you. So you’ll look back at that list of passions which everybody suggested to drop since they didn’t earn you money.

You’ll pursue your hobbies, educate yourself about the technicalities, take classes if necessary. Whether it’s a simple hobby like painting, gardening, or learning to cook a new cuisine, or something thrilling like paragliding, mountaineering, or learning a new dance form, you’ll be smart enough to manage your career and at the same time not to leave behind your passion.

8. You’ll see that life is what you make it

Are you like, “Holy crap, I’m gonna turn 30 soon and I’m freaking out because I still haven’t left behind the younger, sillier me”?

Don’t you worry about it! Your 30s will teach you to embrace life. After all, you’re in the realization phase of life. You’ll accept life for what it is (and what it isn’t). It’s only you who can make it interesting and productive. Your life will be what you make it.

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9. You’ll reap the rewards of true friendship

You are a friendly person and love to be surrounded by good people. You’re investing in new friendships and hanging out with new people. You’re really there for them through thick and thin.

Good job! Friendship is not only about emotional satisfaction. It also brings a lot of advantages. You’re not only having exposure to different personalities in the world but also are building a huge network which is essential today. You’ll be a better “people person” in your 30s with a lot of positive connections.

10. You’ll travel the world for insights

You’re traveling east and west, north and south. You’re exploring the world by visiting different countries, looking at nature, experiencing cultures and getting to know people.

Great! You’re only adding to your personal library of knowledge and insights. You’ll be able to understand life and its values. You’ll get a clear picture of your life in your wonderful 30s. A better person, a better parent, a better employee/employer. And more importantly,  you’ll be a better soul.

Conclusion: You might feel like you are going to have terrible years ahead because you’re on the verge of turning 30! But the good news is you’ll actually feel otherwise.

You will tantalize yourself, you’ll know yourself a little more, you’ll learn to appreciate yourself and also you’ll learn to teach yourself lessons at times. If this is not enough to keep your spirits high while you’re stepping into a new decade, then just keep adding to your already-rich experiences.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

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Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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