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10 Signs Your 30s Are Going to Be Awesome

10 Signs Your 30s Are Going to Be Awesome

Hey—now is the time to stop dreaming and start accomplishing. Time to grow up and get going. Your exciting 20s will soon be gone and your practical 30s will start.

Your 30s are a special time: There are complications but there are achievements. There are challenges but there are winning moments. There are clichés but there is newfound organization and clarity.

One thing is for sure. If you have the right attitude, your 30s will be wonderful. It’s the phase of life where your personal growth will see its peak. The mistakes you made and the experience you gained in your 20s will only polish you.

Here are 10 signs of happiness and why you should celebrate and welcome your wonderful 30s with sparkling smile on your face.

1. You don’t care as much what other people think about you

In your 20s you rebelled against everything—even things you secretly liked.The message was: stop trying to guide me. You told your folks that you weren’t a teenager anymore. You started making your own decisions about what you want from life in life. There were a lot of things you wanted to say “no” to.

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If that describes you in your 20s, it’s a good sign that you’ll stop seeking approval from other people so much in your 30s. In fact, you’ll find that you have to stop. If you do, you’ll be an independent and confident person in your 30s. Maybe you’ve made your share of mistakes but you’ve learned your lessons.

2. You finally figured out what your dream job is

If you’re not happy in your late 20s with your job or the way things are turning out in your career, it’s pretty normal. Maybe you weren’t clear back in college about the academic path that would resonate with you, or you discovered your passion late. Or maybe you landed a job just because you managed to impress the interviewer. You wanted enough cash to pay the bills, go out, and enjoy your twenties. Eventually—finally—you figured out what/where you actually want to be professionally.

You’ll now strive hard to make that dream come true in your 30s. You’ll learn to plan your career moves and settle for nothing less than your ideal job.

3. You actually care about 401(k)s and savings plans

In your late 20s, you start to repent some of that impulse shopping you did, or the money you exhausted on booze and weekend getaways. Your dream assets are used to be a fancy bike, limited edition designer jackets, high heel stilettos, or a Louis Vuitton collection. Now you want to buy a beautiful house or your dream car. But are running out of finances.

That’s why you’ll plan your 30s fantastically. You’ll be financially more stable by saving a huge chunk of your income to support your dream asset. Maybe you’ll even learn how to manage a 401(k) or buy a retirement plan.

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4. You stop kidding around

You’ve started avoiding clubbing, partying and binge drinking on weekdays. You’re not in the mood to upset your boss with hungover mistakes or with drowsy eyes the next morning.

You are settling into a life track. You now make sure to do certain things (read: partying) only on weekends. Or even better, you decide to spend your weekends doing more interesting things. Once you hit your 30s you’re going to rock in your professional life.

5. You figure out health is the way to wealth

Even in your 20s, with all the fun and bingeing, you might start getting concerned about your waistline. But hitting the gym or jogging every day still looks like something for losers.

Sooner or later though, you’ll start thinking about making your workouts fun. You’ll want to be more fit only because you love your body. Weekend hiking, swimming, sports like baseball, rugby, or roller derby—they all start to sound amazing. You’ll be much more creative about how you exercise in your 30s!

6. You’ll be wise and responsible

Falling short with finances for your dream asset, major considerations on relationships or extending your family, not fitting into your sexy outfits—all these things may have started worrying you but are actually good for your 30s!

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You will slowly but steadily stop draining your pockets. You will do your laundry regularly rather than buying new underwear every month. You will learn to cook yourself healthy meals to avoid extra calories and save some money. You’ll be wiser and responsible winning hearts of your loved ones.

7. You’ll see that hobbies and a career can go hand in hand

Your job, your bills, and your responsibilities have started taking a toll on you. So you’ll look back at that list of passions which everybody suggested to drop since they didn’t earn you money.

You’ll pursue your hobbies, educate yourself about the technicalities, take classes if necessary. Whether it’s a simple hobby like painting, gardening, or learning to cook a new cuisine, or something thrilling like paragliding, mountaineering, or learning a new dance form, you’ll be smart enough to manage your career and at the same time not to leave behind your passion.

8. You’ll see that life is what you make it

Are you like, “Holy crap, I’m gonna turn 30 soon and I’m freaking out because I still haven’t left behind the younger, sillier me”?

Don’t you worry about it! Your 30s will teach you to embrace life. After all, you’re in the realization phase of life. You’ll accept life for what it is (and what it isn’t). It’s only you who can make it interesting and productive. Your life will be what you make it.

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9. You’ll reap the rewards of true friendship

You are a friendly person and love to be surrounded by good people. You’re investing in new friendships and hanging out with new people. You’re really there for them through thick and thin.

Good job! Friendship is not only about emotional satisfaction. It also brings a lot of advantages. You’re not only having exposure to different personalities in the world but also are building a huge network which is essential today. You’ll be a better “people person” in your 30s with a lot of positive connections.

10. You’ll travel the world for insights

You’re traveling east and west, north and south. You’re exploring the world by visiting different countries, looking at nature, experiencing cultures and getting to know people.

Great! You’re only adding to your personal library of knowledge and insights. You’ll be able to understand life and its values. You’ll get a clear picture of your life in your wonderful 30s. A better person, a better parent, a better employee/employer. And more importantly,  you’ll be a better soul.

Conclusion: You might feel like you are going to have terrible years ahead because you’re on the verge of turning 30! But the good news is you’ll actually feel otherwise.

You will tantalize yourself, you’ll know yourself a little more, you’ll learn to appreciate yourself and also you’ll learn to teach yourself lessons at times. If this is not enough to keep your spirits high while you’re stepping into a new decade, then just keep adding to your already-rich experiences.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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