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10 Reasons Why Your Cousins Are Your Best Friends

10 Reasons Why Your Cousins Are Your Best Friends

Growing up, I was good friends with pretty much all of my first cousins, as well as a handful of my second cousins. What makes a cousin a good friend? Well, to put it simply, they are like siblings who you only have to see on holidays and special events, which of course means that you’re never around them enough to get mad at them (we all know how contentious things can get with a brother or sister, no matter how much we love them)! Or to put it in even simpler terms, cousins are like your good friends from school or work, with the only difference being that you share the same blood. Which means that, no matter how different you and your cousin are, you always have something that ties you together. But beyond all of that, what are some of the concrete reasons as to why we grow close to our cousins in the first place? Read on!

1. They make family gatherings enjoyable.

As much as we all love eating our Grandmother’s cooking and deflecting questions from various Aunts and Uncles, what we really enjoy about seeing family is getting to catch up with our cousins. Whether it’s joking about a random subject you came up with, or playing some game on the side, your cousin is always there to help you pass the time.

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2. You have a long history with them.

This one is very important. Most of us don’t see our cousins on a consistent basis; a product of becoming an adult I suppose. That said, we always have something to talk about regardless of how long it has been since we last saw them. Indeed, I have memories with most of my cousins that date back to when I was 4 or 5 years old, and thus, when in doubt, we can always talk about those past adventures!

3. They don’t pry.

While your Aunt and Uncle might feel the need to ask you about your future, your current job, and your hypothetical girlfriend, your cousins know to stay away from topics that make you uncomfortable. That’s what is great about cousins. You know them well enough to be able to spend a lot of time with them, but not enough to feel obligated to pry into every aspect of their lives.

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4. They teach you about the opposite gender.

For the majority of the time that I was in school, all of my friends were guys, and so by having several female cousins I really got to see what the other side was all about. I like to think that this has made me a well-balanced individual!

5. There is no uncomfortable silence.

Ever been in a long road trip with an acquaintance? It is absolutely unbearable. When you’re with a cousin, you can either talk a lot or a little, and nobody will ask questions or get uncomfortable either way.

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6. You share the same inside jokes.

Yeah, so you thought you were the only one who joked about Uncle John’s funny laugh, or Grandma Jane’s “interesting” sense of style? Wrong! Your cousin likely already thought of the same things. The sooner you both come to that realization, the sooner you can start laughing at your shared observations.

7. They know about your embarrassing moments.

I can’t tell you how many times my cousins poke fun at me for some of my youthful foibles (hint: too many to count). That said, calling out each other’s ridiculous childhood moments only brings you closer together. No matter how serious and adult-like you and your cousins become, you can always bring each other back down to earth with a little lighthearted jab…

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8. They never abandon you.

While your friends might grow distant to the point that they stop hanging out with you, your cousins will never leave you behind. They’ll be with you for the long haul, always there to save you from awkward conversations and other miserable familial situations when you need them.

9. You can talk about the future with them.

You know that moment when you are at a family party and you and the other young people are at one table, and the older people are at another? Of course you do. During those moments, there’s always one cousin who turns to you, points at the other table, and says, “wow, that’s going to be us in twenty years!” It’s at that point that you realize how intertwined your futures are. To me at least, that’s a pretty cool thing to think about.

10. You don’t have to impress them.

When you’re with cousins, you get to be buddies with them without the added social pressure that comes with hanging out with non-family members. That means you can forgo the makeup, pause your kale-based diet, leave your face unshaven, and forget about having to do anything fancy with your hair. Let it all go! With your cousin, all that matters is your presence. And if that doesn’t signify true friendship, I don’t know what does! Are you best friends with your cousins? Share your stories in the comments below!

Featured photo credit: Laughter/ Becca Peterson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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