“Gentleman”, in modern parlance, is a term derived from Latin “genitilis” which means race or gens, men which refers to all men in the society. In general, gentleman refers to any man of good conduct.
Based from history, acting like a gentleman originates from knighthood particularly in the lowest rank in the English gentry, standing below esquire. Geoffrey Chaucer even described that a gentleman should be seen not just in circumstances but to how he behaves to them. No laws or charter can make a man a gentleman. Thus, only he can make himself a gentleman by acting like one.
Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, said through Confucianism teachings, that a man can be gentleman, regardless if he belongs to an elite or not, through practicing acts which are considered moral and humane.
In summary, being a gentleman is a choice to make by any man to behave in accord to what is proper in the society where he lives.
However, nowadays, it is rare.
Jessica Wakeman of Thefrisky.com said that finding a gentleman is rare. He is someone who treats everyone well not limiting to the person he is interested in.
She said, “A gentleman is polite to everyone to everyone, thoughtful to everyone, considerate to everyone. Gentlemen are chivalrous, but not all chivalrous are gentlemen. Most of all, if the guy boasts about what a gentleman he is, he probably isn’t one.”
So, this means that people should be the one to describe a man if he is gentleman or not. But then again, having a gentleman with you is rare.
To know if your guy is a gentleman or not, here are some points you can use to check if he is:Advertising
1. You are assured of honesty and sincerity with a gentleman.
Paul Hudson of The Elite Daily narrates that in Gentlemen are honest and sincere. With regards to their true intentions to everything they see, they are naturally sincere and really honest persons.
They are not telling things just to impress anyone, but to express everything what they have in mind. In general, gentlemen are not talking about irreverent things just to add some spice in the conversation.
2. You are highly valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen, since they are honest and sincere, do not make things which they know unnecessary or won’t work out at the end.
Yes, it may sound painful but they are acting like that. It is because they don’t want to lead women to a relationship which they know has not having sense at all or they may able to see the outcome of its beginning even in the first phase of their relationship. They have a lot of reasons to do it but definitely the goal is not to break the girl’s heart that much.
3. You are heard with a gentleman.
Gentlemen listen. Unlike other jerks out there who just like to talk and brag about thing they have and what they don’t have or anything blah blah, gentlemen mostly listen.
Since listening is one way to tell the any woman that they are interested to what she says although there are times that he already cannot understand (but does clarify to her by asking her gently some follow-up questions, of course).
4. You feel respected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen show women respect. It is so uncommon to see men being respectful to women. Even what media exposes to public, women are considered enslaved to anything. For example, Pornography, Runaway shows displaying lustful photos of women, etc.
Because of these trends nowadays, respect to women is really a question. But, whenever men show off this respectful side to women, it is highly regarded. When they show respect, they treat you as a person, not an object of their pleasure or whatever. But rather, treat you like a princess needing a Superman to save you from harm. They never force you to conform of their beliefs, values, etc. because they respect you with your own thinking over things.
5. You are highly-valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen respect her own privacy over anything. As said before, since gentlemen are aware of your different thinking over things than his, they will never force you to conform or to agree to what gentlemen believe is right. Rather, letting you express them even, so they will know.Advertising
With that, it also includes her privacy. Gentlemen just don’t intervene to her personal matters if she is not comfortable sharing with.
6. You are highly supported with a gentleman.
Gentlemen are supportive to her goals and dreams with warm encouragement. They usually ask during the first date, “Would you mind if I ask you about your dreams in life or something like that?”
So, with all honesty, you answered them with a bit lie because you are afraid they won’t like what you will be saying. However, gentlemen, since they show off respect to women, they never will feel bad to the things you will say since they appreciate honesty. Instead of pulling you down or discourage you from whatever you wanted in life, they will rather give out or even research of some possibilities to make your dreams possible to reach.
7. You are able to share honesty with a gentleman.
Gentlemen dislike dishonesty. Like in number one, “gentlemen are honest and sincere”. Gentlemen are really honest to everything. Thus, it also means that women, too, should not lie to them. No matter what conflicts may arise when they are told.
But, usually, gentlemen, though they felt bad, still they will appreciate that you told them, since they consider the things you are thinking about (although some are already stupid to think).
8. You feel special with a gentleman.
Gentlemen make their women feel special. Everyone likes to feel special – especially women.
So, no questions asked why gentlemen are popular in this particular area, because this is one area women are seeking to the men they date. From giving gifts to giving time, etc. Name it. Gentlemen will do them with all possible efforts.
9. You feel protected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen protect their love ones. Feeling secured from anyone is much needed. Thus, anyone will seek someone who could make them feel secured. Might be emotional or physical or whatever. Anyone desires to be protected.
Therefore, gentlemen are highly needed since they do this to protect their loved one in any means they could ever think of.Advertising
10. You never feel abandoned with a gentleman.
Gentlemen never abandon their loved ones. This is such a wonderful trait anyone could ever do. No one likes to be abandoned. This is just an act of the cowards.
However, gentlemen never do that. Instead, they courageously face problems and challenges they may possibly encounter just to be with their loved ones, especially to her woman. They are really aware that life is full of tough challenges and tough surprises that need a lot of courage to deal.
Because of these rare behaviors observed by the modern-day girls right now, being able to see these 10 traits from their man makes them happy and fulfilled. Why? It is due to the fact that the stigma of being a “gentleman” from men is highly-demanded. With this demand, this made them popular, too, if they are noticed.
According to Hudson, being a gentleman and acting like one is something that all men should strive. This is what women want. They want to date good men. Not jerks. For the men alike, it is best to start behaving like a gentleman. It does not sound tough, but it will just need some consistency and effort to achieve it.
Practice these things listed. For sure, you will gain popularity among girls and will receive tons of date requests if you do.
Tips to become a Gentleman:
1. Be honest and sincere.
“Honesty is the best policy”. Everyone wants honesty from everyone. No one wants to be deceived or be taken advantage by anyone.
2. Be valuable and show value to everyone, to everything, especially to women.
Being able to appreciate each other’s differences with all acceptance and unbiased, is a proof that you have valued them much as a human being, which is one important thing to consider among those wannabes.
3. Learn to listen.
Do not just talk and talk and talk. Listen. There is nothing more special and more interesting than listening to other people’s different/varied ideas in mind. It’s fun. Try.
4. Be respectful.
All age brackets, all genders, liked to be respected. No one denies that. Everyone desires it. So learn it.Advertising
5. Place high value on honoring her in everything.
It’s not hard to show appreciation for everything. Just by opening the car door when they hop in, cook their favorite dish for them, these simple things are already enough to tickle and to warm woman’s heart.
6. Be supportive.
You are not there to interrupt to your woman’s plans, but rather, to support them.
7. Promote honesty to each other.
You can’t tell her to be honest if you yourself are not an honest man. In short, be honest to her first before you can have it from her.
8. Treat all women with respect, not just your loved one.
Treat women well. That does not mean just to flirt with her. It’s a different thing. With your girl, treat her extra special above all other women out there. It will really build self-confidence to her believing the she’s really special to you.
9. Feel protective towards her, but respect her independence.
When a man tries hard to protect his woman, it’s one of the most important and special feelings that a woman can feel from her man because not all men can do that. You can do it by checking with her to see if she’s at home safely. It’s as simple as that.
10. Never leave her emotionally alone-especially in times she needs you the most.
One of the most critical points for women is that whenever she faces problems that she could barely handle, you are to support and listen to her. Just be there and listen to her.
By doing these things and really acting like a gentleman with complete sincerity, you can gain much of what you expected – the woman of your dreams. Again, seeing gentlemen along the streets can be uncommon, but they are much desired. It will be greatly appreciated if women can see one, and that gentleman is you. So, guys gear up and start doing now!
Featured photo credit: anitapeppers via mrg.bz
Last Updated on June 19, 2019
6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances
I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.
Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.
It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.
1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot
It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.
Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.
When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.
2. Trust the Muse
Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.
When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,
“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”
The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.
If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.
The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.
Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.
3. Remember to Be Authentic
Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.
How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?
For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.
One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.
Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).
Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.
4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded
I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.
One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.
Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.
A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.
Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.
5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking
It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.
We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.
If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.
You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful
6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only
As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?
The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.
Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.
Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!
More About Living Your Best Life
- 8 Reasons Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful
- Is It Really Better to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone?
- This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone
- 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com