“Gentleman”, in modern parlance, is a term derived from Latin “genitilis” which means race or gens, men which refers to all men in the society. In general, gentleman refers to any man of good conduct.
Based from history, acting like a gentleman originates from knighthood particularly in the lowest rank in the English gentry, standing below esquire. Geoffrey Chaucer even described that a gentleman should be seen not just in circumstances but to how he behaves to them. No laws or charter can make a man a gentleman. Thus, only he can make himself a gentleman by acting like one.
Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, said through Confucianism teachings, that a man can be gentleman, regardless if he belongs to an elite or not, through practicing acts which are considered moral and humane.
In summary, being a gentleman is a choice to make by any man to behave in accord to what is proper in the society where he lives.
However, nowadays, it is rare.
Jessica Wakeman of Thefrisky.com said that finding a gentleman is rare. He is someone who treats everyone well not limiting to the person he is interested in.
She said, “A gentleman is polite to everyone to everyone, thoughtful to everyone, considerate to everyone. Gentlemen are chivalrous, but not all chivalrous are gentlemen. Most of all, if the guy boasts about what a gentleman he is, he probably isn’t one.”
So, this means that people should be the one to describe a man if he is gentleman or not. But then again, having a gentleman with you is rare.
To know if your guy is a gentleman or not, here are some points you can use to check if he is:Advertising
1. You are assured of honesty and sincerity with a gentleman.
Paul Hudson of The Elite Daily narrates that in Gentlemen are honest and sincere. With regards to their true intentions to everything they see, they are naturally sincere and really honest persons.
They are not telling things just to impress anyone, but to express everything what they have in mind. In general, gentlemen are not talking about irreverent things just to add some spice in the conversation.
2. You are highly valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen, since they are honest and sincere, do not make things which they know unnecessary or won’t work out at the end.
Yes, it may sound painful but they are acting like that. It is because they don’t want to lead women to a relationship which they know has not having sense at all or they may able to see the outcome of its beginning even in the first phase of their relationship. They have a lot of reasons to do it but definitely the goal is not to break the girl’s heart that much.
3. You are heard with a gentleman.
Gentlemen listen. Unlike other jerks out there who just like to talk and brag about thing they have and what they don’t have or anything blah blah, gentlemen mostly listen.
Since listening is one way to tell the any woman that they are interested to what she says although there are times that he already cannot understand (but does clarify to her by asking her gently some follow-up questions, of course).
4. You feel respected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen show women respect. It is so uncommon to see men being respectful to women. Even what media exposes to public, women are considered enslaved to anything. For example, Pornography, Runaway shows displaying lustful photos of women, etc.
Because of these trends nowadays, respect to women is really a question. But, whenever men show off this respectful side to women, it is highly regarded. When they show respect, they treat you as a person, not an object of their pleasure or whatever. But rather, treat you like a princess needing a Superman to save you from harm. They never force you to conform of their beliefs, values, etc. because they respect you with your own thinking over things.
5. You are highly-valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen respect her own privacy over anything. As said before, since gentlemen are aware of your different thinking over things than his, they will never force you to conform or to agree to what gentlemen believe is right. Rather, letting you express them even, so they will know.Advertising
With that, it also includes her privacy. Gentlemen just don’t intervene to her personal matters if she is not comfortable sharing with.
6. You are highly supported with a gentleman.
Gentlemen are supportive to her goals and dreams with warm encouragement. They usually ask during the first date, “Would you mind if I ask you about your dreams in life or something like that?”
So, with all honesty, you answered them with a bit lie because you are afraid they won’t like what you will be saying. However, gentlemen, since they show off respect to women, they never will feel bad to the things you will say since they appreciate honesty. Instead of pulling you down or discourage you from whatever you wanted in life, they will rather give out or even research of some possibilities to make your dreams possible to reach.
7. You are able to share honesty with a gentleman.
Gentlemen dislike dishonesty. Like in number one, “gentlemen are honest and sincere”. Gentlemen are really honest to everything. Thus, it also means that women, too, should not lie to them. No matter what conflicts may arise when they are told.
But, usually, gentlemen, though they felt bad, still they will appreciate that you told them, since they consider the things you are thinking about (although some are already stupid to think).
8. You feel special with a gentleman.
Gentlemen make their women feel special. Everyone likes to feel special – especially women.
So, no questions asked why gentlemen are popular in this particular area, because this is one area women are seeking to the men they date. From giving gifts to giving time, etc. Name it. Gentlemen will do them with all possible efforts.
9. You feel protected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen protect their love ones. Feeling secured from anyone is much needed. Thus, anyone will seek someone who could make them feel secured. Might be emotional or physical or whatever. Anyone desires to be protected.
Therefore, gentlemen are highly needed since they do this to protect their loved one in any means they could ever think of.Advertising
10. You never feel abandoned with a gentleman.
Gentlemen never abandon their loved ones. This is such a wonderful trait anyone could ever do. No one likes to be abandoned. This is just an act of the cowards.
However, gentlemen never do that. Instead, they courageously face problems and challenges they may possibly encounter just to be with their loved ones, especially to her woman. They are really aware that life is full of tough challenges and tough surprises that need a lot of courage to deal.
Because of these rare behaviors observed by the modern-day girls right now, being able to see these 10 traits from their man makes them happy and fulfilled. Why? It is due to the fact that the stigma of being a “gentleman” from men is highly-demanded. With this demand, this made them popular, too, if they are noticed.
According to Hudson, being a gentleman and acting like one is something that all men should strive. This is what women want. They want to date good men. Not jerks. For the men alike, it is best to start behaving like a gentleman. It does not sound tough, but it will just need some consistency and effort to achieve it.
Practice these things listed. For sure, you will gain popularity among girls and will receive tons of date requests if you do.
Tips to become a Gentleman:
1. Be honest and sincere.
“Honesty is the best policy”. Everyone wants honesty from everyone. No one wants to be deceived or be taken advantage by anyone.
2. Be valuable and show value to everyone, to everything, especially to women.
Being able to appreciate each other’s differences with all acceptance and unbiased, is a proof that you have valued them much as a human being, which is one important thing to consider among those wannabes.
3. Learn to listen.
Do not just talk and talk and talk. Listen. There is nothing more special and more interesting than listening to other people’s different/varied ideas in mind. It’s fun. Try.
4. Be respectful.
All age brackets, all genders, liked to be respected. No one denies that. Everyone desires it. So learn it.Advertising
5. Place high value on honoring her in everything.
It’s not hard to show appreciation for everything. Just by opening the car door when they hop in, cook their favorite dish for them, these simple things are already enough to tickle and to warm woman’s heart.
6. Be supportive.
You are not there to interrupt to your woman’s plans, but rather, to support them.
7. Promote honesty to each other.
You can’t tell her to be honest if you yourself are not an honest man. In short, be honest to her first before you can have it from her.
8. Treat all women with respect, not just your loved one.
Treat women well. That does not mean just to flirt with her. It’s a different thing. With your girl, treat her extra special above all other women out there. It will really build self-confidence to her believing the she’s really special to you.
9. Feel protective towards her, but respect her independence.
When a man tries hard to protect his woman, it’s one of the most important and special feelings that a woman can feel from her man because not all men can do that. You can do it by checking with her to see if she’s at home safely. It’s as simple as that.
10. Never leave her emotionally alone-especially in times she needs you the most.
One of the most critical points for women is that whenever she faces problems that she could barely handle, you are to support and listen to her. Just be there and listen to her.
By doing these things and really acting like a gentleman with complete sincerity, you can gain much of what you expected – the woman of your dreams. Again, seeing gentlemen along the streets can be uncommon, but they are much desired. It will be greatly appreciated if women can see one, and that gentleman is you. So, guys gear up and start doing now!
Featured photo credit: anitapeppers via mrg.bz
Last Updated on October 16, 2019
5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships
We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.
They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.
Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.
I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.
Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:
1. Meet More People
This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.
If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.
And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.
Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.
This is why it’s important to meet more people.
2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You
A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.
I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.
Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.
3. Express Vulnerability
Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.
This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.
However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.
Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.
Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.
4. Have Integrity
Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.
This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.
This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.
Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.
5. Be There for Others
Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.
Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.
Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.
The Bottom Line
With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.
And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.
Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.
More About Effective Communication
- How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home
- 9 Powerful Techniques for Building Rapport with Anyone
- Conflict Management Styles for Effective Communication at Work
- Effective Communication: How Not to Be Misunderstood
Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com