“Gentleman”, in modern parlance, is a term derived from Latin “genitilis” which means race or gens, men which refers to all men in the society. In general, gentleman refers to any man of good conduct.
Based from history, acting like a gentleman originates from knighthood particularly in the lowest rank in the English gentry, standing below esquire. Geoffrey Chaucer even described that a gentleman should be seen not just in circumstances but to how he behaves to them. No laws or charter can make a man a gentleman. Thus, only he can make himself a gentleman by acting like one.
Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, said through Confucianism teachings, that a man can be gentleman, regardless if he belongs to an elite or not, through practicing acts which are considered moral and humane.
In summary, being a gentleman is a choice to make by any man to behave in accord to what is proper in the society where he lives.
However, nowadays, it is rare.
Jessica Wakeman of Thefrisky.com said that finding a gentleman is rare. He is someone who treats everyone well not limiting to the person he is interested in.
She said, “A gentleman is polite to everyone to everyone, thoughtful to everyone, considerate to everyone. Gentlemen are chivalrous, but not all chivalrous are gentlemen. Most of all, if the guy boasts about what a gentleman he is, he probably isn’t one.”
So, this means that people should be the one to describe a man if he is gentleman or not. But then again, having a gentleman with you is rare.
To know if your guy is a gentleman or not, here are some points you can use to check if he is:Advertising
1. You are assured of honesty and sincerity with a gentleman.
Paul Hudson of The Elite Daily narrates that in Gentlemen are honest and sincere. With regards to their true intentions to everything they see, they are naturally sincere and really honest persons.
They are not telling things just to impress anyone, but to express everything what they have in mind. In general, gentlemen are not talking about irreverent things just to add some spice in the conversation.
2. You are highly valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen, since they are honest and sincere, do not make things which they know unnecessary or won’t work out at the end.
Yes, it may sound painful but they are acting like that. It is because they don’t want to lead women to a relationship which they know has not having sense at all or they may able to see the outcome of its beginning even in the first phase of their relationship. They have a lot of reasons to do it but definitely the goal is not to break the girl’s heart that much.
3. You are heard with a gentleman.
Gentlemen listen. Unlike other jerks out there who just like to talk and brag about thing they have and what they don’t have or anything blah blah, gentlemen mostly listen.
Since listening is one way to tell the any woman that they are interested to what she says although there are times that he already cannot understand (but does clarify to her by asking her gently some follow-up questions, of course).
4. You feel respected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen show women respect. It is so uncommon to see men being respectful to women. Even what media exposes to public, women are considered enslaved to anything. For example, Pornography, Runaway shows displaying lustful photos of women, etc.
Because of these trends nowadays, respect to women is really a question. But, whenever men show off this respectful side to women, it is highly regarded. When they show respect, they treat you as a person, not an object of their pleasure or whatever. But rather, treat you like a princess needing a Superman to save you from harm. They never force you to conform of their beliefs, values, etc. because they respect you with your own thinking over things.
5. You are highly-valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen respect her own privacy over anything. As said before, since gentlemen are aware of your different thinking over things than his, they will never force you to conform or to agree to what gentlemen believe is right. Rather, letting you express them even, so they will know.Advertising
With that, it also includes her privacy. Gentlemen just don’t intervene to her personal matters if she is not comfortable sharing with.
6. You are highly supported with a gentleman.
Gentlemen are supportive to her goals and dreams with warm encouragement. They usually ask during the first date, “Would you mind if I ask you about your dreams in life or something like that?”
So, with all honesty, you answered them with a bit lie because you are afraid they won’t like what you will be saying. However, gentlemen, since they show off respect to women, they never will feel bad to the things you will say since they appreciate honesty. Instead of pulling you down or discourage you from whatever you wanted in life, they will rather give out or even research of some possibilities to make your dreams possible to reach.
7. You are able to share honesty with a gentleman.
Gentlemen dislike dishonesty. Like in number one, “gentlemen are honest and sincere”. Gentlemen are really honest to everything. Thus, it also means that women, too, should not lie to them. No matter what conflicts may arise when they are told.
But, usually, gentlemen, though they felt bad, still they will appreciate that you told them, since they consider the things you are thinking about (although some are already stupid to think).
8. You feel special with a gentleman.
Gentlemen make their women feel special. Everyone likes to feel special – especially women.
So, no questions asked why gentlemen are popular in this particular area, because this is one area women are seeking to the men they date. From giving gifts to giving time, etc. Name it. Gentlemen will do them with all possible efforts.
9. You feel protected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen protect their love ones. Feeling secured from anyone is much needed. Thus, anyone will seek someone who could make them feel secured. Might be emotional or physical or whatever. Anyone desires to be protected.
Therefore, gentlemen are highly needed since they do this to protect their loved one in any means they could ever think of.Advertising
10. You never feel abandoned with a gentleman.
Gentlemen never abandon their loved ones. This is such a wonderful trait anyone could ever do. No one likes to be abandoned. This is just an act of the cowards.
However, gentlemen never do that. Instead, they courageously face problems and challenges they may possibly encounter just to be with their loved ones, especially to her woman. They are really aware that life is full of tough challenges and tough surprises that need a lot of courage to deal.
Because of these rare behaviors observed by the modern-day girls right now, being able to see these 10 traits from their man makes them happy and fulfilled. Why? It is due to the fact that the stigma of being a “gentleman” from men is highly-demanded. With this demand, this made them popular, too, if they are noticed.
According to Hudson, being a gentleman and acting like one is something that all men should strive. This is what women want. They want to date good men. Not jerks. For the men alike, it is best to start behaving like a gentleman. It does not sound tough, but it will just need some consistency and effort to achieve it.
Practice these things listed. For sure, you will gain popularity among girls and will receive tons of date requests if you do.
Tips to become a Gentleman:
1. Be honest and sincere.
“Honesty is the best policy”. Everyone wants honesty from everyone. No one wants to be deceived or be taken advantage by anyone.
2. Be valuable and show value to everyone, to everything, especially to women.
Being able to appreciate each other’s differences with all acceptance and unbiased, is a proof that you have valued them much as a human being, which is one important thing to consider among those wannabes.
3. Learn to listen.
Do not just talk and talk and talk. Listen. There is nothing more special and more interesting than listening to other people’s different/varied ideas in mind. It’s fun. Try.
4. Be respectful.
All age brackets, all genders, liked to be respected. No one denies that. Everyone desires it. So learn it.Advertising
5. Place high value on honoring her in everything.
It’s not hard to show appreciation for everything. Just by opening the car door when they hop in, cook their favorite dish for them, these simple things are already enough to tickle and to warm woman’s heart.
6. Be supportive.
You are not there to interrupt to your woman’s plans, but rather, to support them.
7. Promote honesty to each other.
You can’t tell her to be honest if you yourself are not an honest man. In short, be honest to her first before you can have it from her.
8. Treat all women with respect, not just your loved one.
Treat women well. That does not mean just to flirt with her. It’s a different thing. With your girl, treat her extra special above all other women out there. It will really build self-confidence to her believing the she’s really special to you.
9. Feel protective towards her, but respect her independence.
When a man tries hard to protect his woman, it’s one of the most important and special feelings that a woman can feel from her man because not all men can do that. You can do it by checking with her to see if she’s at home safely. It’s as simple as that.
10. Never leave her emotionally alone-especially in times she needs you the most.
One of the most critical points for women is that whenever she faces problems that she could barely handle, you are to support and listen to her. Just be there and listen to her.
By doing these things and really acting like a gentleman with complete sincerity, you can gain much of what you expected – the woman of your dreams. Again, seeing gentlemen along the streets can be uncommon, but they are much desired. It will be greatly appreciated if women can see one, and that gentleman is you. So, guys gear up and start doing now!
Featured photo credit: anitapeppers via mrg.bz
Last Updated on May 28, 2020
10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life
Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?
You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.
Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.
You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.
Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.
1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams
If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.
Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.
When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.
Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.
So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.
Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.
2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses
Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.
Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:
- Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey
- Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment
- Answer a few Superpower Questions
Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.
3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required
Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.
The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?
You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.
Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.
Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.
4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love
The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.
Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.
To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.
This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.
5. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo
Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.
Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:
- Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
- Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
- Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.
The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward.
Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.
6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling
I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.
To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.
Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.
A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.
Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?
Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.
7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic
Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.
Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.
What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.
Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.
8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future
Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.
Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.
What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?
These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.
9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas
Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.
This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!
Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,
“You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”
10. Count Your Rockstar Moments
Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.
Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.
You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!
Eleanor Roosevelt said,
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.
By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.
If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.
This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.
Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.
More About Success in Life
- 20 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore
- How to Create Your Road Map to Success (A Step-By-Step Guide)
- How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People
Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com
|||^||Huffington Post: Why Finding Time Each Day For Creativity Makes You Happier|
|||^||Fast Company: These 4 Hobbies Can Actually Improve Job Performance|
|||^||VIA: The VIA Character Strengths Survey|
|||^||Fast Company: This Is How Many Minutes Of Breaks You Need Each Day|
|||^||Stanford News: Stanford study finds walking improves creativity|