“Gentleman”, in modern parlance, is a term derived from Latin “genitilis” which means race or gens, men which refers to all men in the society. In general, gentleman refers to any man of good conduct.
Based from history, acting like a gentleman originates from knighthood particularly in the lowest rank in the English gentry, standing below esquire. Geoffrey Chaucer even described that a gentleman should be seen not just in circumstances but to how he behaves to them. No laws or charter can make a man a gentleman. Thus, only he can make himself a gentleman by acting like one.
Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, said through Confucianism teachings, that a man can be gentleman, regardless if he belongs to an elite or not, through practicing acts which are considered moral and humane.
In summary, being a gentleman is a choice to make by any man to behave in accord to what is proper in the society where he lives.
However, nowadays, it is rare.
Jessica Wakeman of Thefrisky.com said that finding a gentleman is rare. He is someone who treats everyone well not limiting to the person he is interested in.
She said, “A gentleman is polite to everyone to everyone, thoughtful to everyone, considerate to everyone. Gentlemen are chivalrous, but not all chivalrous are gentlemen. Most of all, if the guy boasts about what a gentleman he is, he probably isn’t one.”
So, this means that people should be the one to describe a man if he is gentleman or not. But then again, having a gentleman with you is rare.
To know if your guy is a gentleman or not, here are some points you can use to check if he is:Advertising
1. You are assured of honesty and sincerity with a gentleman.
Paul Hudson of The Elite Daily narrates that in Gentlemen are honest and sincere. With regards to their true intentions to everything they see, they are naturally sincere and really honest persons.
They are not telling things just to impress anyone, but to express everything what they have in mind. In general, gentlemen are not talking about irreverent things just to add some spice in the conversation.
2. You are highly valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen, since they are honest and sincere, do not make things which they know unnecessary or won’t work out at the end.
Yes, it may sound painful but they are acting like that. It is because they don’t want to lead women to a relationship which they know has not having sense at all or they may able to see the outcome of its beginning even in the first phase of their relationship. They have a lot of reasons to do it but definitely the goal is not to break the girl’s heart that much.
3. You are heard with a gentleman.
Gentlemen listen. Unlike other jerks out there who just like to talk and brag about thing they have and what they don’t have or anything blah blah, gentlemen mostly listen.
Since listening is one way to tell the any woman that they are interested to what she says although there are times that he already cannot understand (but does clarify to her by asking her gently some follow-up questions, of course).
4. You feel respected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen show women respect. It is so uncommon to see men being respectful to women. Even what media exposes to public, women are considered enslaved to anything. For example, Pornography, Runaway shows displaying lustful photos of women, etc.
Because of these trends nowadays, respect to women is really a question. But, whenever men show off this respectful side to women, it is highly regarded. When they show respect, they treat you as a person, not an object of their pleasure or whatever. But rather, treat you like a princess needing a Superman to save you from harm. They never force you to conform of their beliefs, values, etc. because they respect you with your own thinking over things.
5. You are highly-valued with a gentleman.
Gentlemen respect her own privacy over anything. As said before, since gentlemen are aware of your different thinking over things than his, they will never force you to conform or to agree to what gentlemen believe is right. Rather, letting you express them even, so they will know.Advertising
With that, it also includes her privacy. Gentlemen just don’t intervene to her personal matters if she is not comfortable sharing with.
6. You are highly supported with a gentleman.
Gentlemen are supportive to her goals and dreams with warm encouragement. They usually ask during the first date, “Would you mind if I ask you about your dreams in life or something like that?”
So, with all honesty, you answered them with a bit lie because you are afraid they won’t like what you will be saying. However, gentlemen, since they show off respect to women, they never will feel bad to the things you will say since they appreciate honesty. Instead of pulling you down or discourage you from whatever you wanted in life, they will rather give out or even research of some possibilities to make your dreams possible to reach.
7. You are able to share honesty with a gentleman.
Gentlemen dislike dishonesty. Like in number one, “gentlemen are honest and sincere”. Gentlemen are really honest to everything. Thus, it also means that women, too, should not lie to them. No matter what conflicts may arise when they are told.
But, usually, gentlemen, though they felt bad, still they will appreciate that you told them, since they consider the things you are thinking about (although some are already stupid to think).
8. You feel special with a gentleman.
Gentlemen make their women feel special. Everyone likes to feel special – especially women.
So, no questions asked why gentlemen are popular in this particular area, because this is one area women are seeking to the men they date. From giving gifts to giving time, etc. Name it. Gentlemen will do them with all possible efforts.
9. You feel protected with a gentleman.
Gentlemen protect their love ones. Feeling secured from anyone is much needed. Thus, anyone will seek someone who could make them feel secured. Might be emotional or physical or whatever. Anyone desires to be protected.
Therefore, gentlemen are highly needed since they do this to protect their loved one in any means they could ever think of.Advertising
10. You never feel abandoned with a gentleman.
Gentlemen never abandon their loved ones. This is such a wonderful trait anyone could ever do. No one likes to be abandoned. This is just an act of the cowards.
However, gentlemen never do that. Instead, they courageously face problems and challenges they may possibly encounter just to be with their loved ones, especially to her woman. They are really aware that life is full of tough challenges and tough surprises that need a lot of courage to deal.
Because of these rare behaviors observed by the modern-day girls right now, being able to see these 10 traits from their man makes them happy and fulfilled. Why? It is due to the fact that the stigma of being a “gentleman” from men is highly-demanded. With this demand, this made them popular, too, if they are noticed.
According to Hudson, being a gentleman and acting like one is something that all men should strive. This is what women want. They want to date good men. Not jerks. For the men alike, it is best to start behaving like a gentleman. It does not sound tough, but it will just need some consistency and effort to achieve it.
Practice these things listed. For sure, you will gain popularity among girls and will receive tons of date requests if you do.
Tips to become a Gentleman:
1. Be honest and sincere.
“Honesty is the best policy”. Everyone wants honesty from everyone. No one wants to be deceived or be taken advantage by anyone.
2. Be valuable and show value to everyone, to everything, especially to women.
Being able to appreciate each other’s differences with all acceptance and unbiased, is a proof that you have valued them much as a human being, which is one important thing to consider among those wannabes.
3. Learn to listen.
Do not just talk and talk and talk. Listen. There is nothing more special and more interesting than listening to other people’s different/varied ideas in mind. It’s fun. Try.
4. Be respectful.
All age brackets, all genders, liked to be respected. No one denies that. Everyone desires it. So learn it.Advertising
5. Place high value on honoring her in everything.
It’s not hard to show appreciation for everything. Just by opening the car door when they hop in, cook their favorite dish for them, these simple things are already enough to tickle and to warm woman’s heart.
6. Be supportive.
You are not there to interrupt to your woman’s plans, but rather, to support them.
7. Promote honesty to each other.
You can’t tell her to be honest if you yourself are not an honest man. In short, be honest to her first before you can have it from her.
8. Treat all women with respect, not just your loved one.
Treat women well. That does not mean just to flirt with her. It’s a different thing. With your girl, treat her extra special above all other women out there. It will really build self-confidence to her believing the she’s really special to you.
9. Feel protective towards her, but respect her independence.
When a man tries hard to protect his woman, it’s one of the most important and special feelings that a woman can feel from her man because not all men can do that. You can do it by checking with her to see if she’s at home safely. It’s as simple as that.
10. Never leave her emotionally alone-especially in times she needs you the most.
One of the most critical points for women is that whenever she faces problems that she could barely handle, you are to support and listen to her. Just be there and listen to her.
By doing these things and really acting like a gentleman with complete sincerity, you can gain much of what you expected – the woman of your dreams. Again, seeing gentlemen along the streets can be uncommon, but they are much desired. It will be greatly appreciated if women can see one, and that gentleman is you. So, guys gear up and start doing now!
Featured photo credit: anitapeppers via mrg.bz
Last Updated on December 9, 2019
What Makes a Good Leader: 10 Critical Leadership Qualities
The word “leader” makes you think of people in charge. High-ranking people – your boss, politicians, presidents, CEOs…
But leadership really isn’t about a particular position or a person’s seniority. Just because someone has worked for many years doesn’t mean he has gained the qualities and skills to lead a team.
Getting promoted to a managerial position doesn’t automatically turn you into a leader either. CEOs and other high-ranking officials don’t always have great leadership skills.
So what makes a good leader? What are the characteristics of a leader?
Good leadership is about acquiring and honing skills. Leadership skills enable you to be a role model for a team in any environment. With great leadership qualities, successful leaders come in all shapes and sizes: in the home, at school, or at the workplace.
The following is a list of characteristics of a leader who successfully leads a great team:
1. Stay Positive, Even in the Worst Situations
Great leaders know that they won’t have a happy and motivated team unless they themselves exhibit a positive attitude. This can be done by remaining positive when things go wrong and, by creating a relaxed and happy atmosphere in the workplace.
Even some simple things like providing cupcakes or beers on Fridays can make the world of difference. An added perk is that team members are likely to work harder and do overtime when needed if they’re happy and appreciated.
Even in the worst situations such as experiencing low team morale or team members having made a big mistake at work, a great leader stays positive and figure out ways to keep the team motivated to solve the problems.
Walt Disney (1901-1966), had his share of hardships and challenges; and like any great leader, he managed to stay positive and find new opportunities. In 1928, Disney found that his film producer, Charles Mintz, wanted to reduce his payments for the Oswald series. Mintz threatened to cut ties entirely if Disney didn’t accept his terms, and Disney chose to part ways. But in leaving Oswald, Disney decided to create something new: the iconic Mickey Mouse.
What Can You Learn from Walt Disney?
Break down huge challenges into smaller ones and find ways to tackle them one by one.
Think about the lessons you can learn from the mistake and jot them down — Because sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
2. Exhibit Confidence Everywhere
All great leaders have to exhibit an air of confidence if they’re going to succeed. Please don’t confuse this with self-satisfaction and arrogance. You want people to look up to you for inspiration, not so they can punch you in the face.
Confidence is important because people will be looking to you on how to behave, particularly if things aren’t going 100% right. If you remain calm and poised, team members are far more likely to as well. As a result, morale and productivity will remain high and the problem will be solved more quickly.
If you panic and give up, they will know immediately and things will simply go down hill from there.
Elon Musk is a great example of a leader with confidence. He truly believes that Tesla will be successful, which he has shown many times through his actions. He converted 532,000 stock options at $6.63 each, their value on Dec. 4, 2009, before Tesla went public. It was a hefty bargain considering Tesla’s stock price stood at around $195 per share at that time. He doesn’t apologize for his beliefs and has drawn fire from just about everyone for his political actions.
What Can You Learn from Elon Musk?
You can’t instantly become a very confident person, but all the small things you do every day will gradually make you more confident:
- List 10 things you like about yourself every day (something different every day), and you’ll be more confident about yourself.
- Work on your strengths, do your best to enhance them.
3. Have a Sense of Humor
It’s imperative for any kind of leader to have a sense of humor, particularly when things go wrong. And they will.
Your team members are going to be looking to you for how to react in a seemingly dire situation. It would probably be best if you weren’t stringing up a noose for yourself in the corner. You need to be able to laugh things off, because if staff morale goes down, so will productivity.
Establish this environment prior to any kind of meltdown by encouraging humor and personal discussions in the work place.
As president, Barack Obama exuded confidence and calm during stressful situations. But he was also known for his “dad jokes”, his genuinely funny speeches at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and appearing on Zack Galifianakis’s Between Two Ferns. Obama’s sense of humor made him grounded, realistic, and honest – no doubt that helped during some tense moments in the White House!
What Can You Learn from Barak Obama?
Laugh at yourself. Confident people laugh about their own silly mistakes, others will also trust you more because you’re willing to share your experiences.
Be observant and learn from the jokes others make. You can also get a lot of inspirations from the internet.
4. Embrace Failures and Manage Set Backs
No matter how hard you try to avoid it, failures will happen; that’s okay. You just need to know how to deal with them.
Great leaders take them in strides. They remain calm and logically think through the situation and utilize their resources. What they don’t do is fall apart and reveal to their team how worried they are, which leads to negative morale, fear and binge-drinking under desks.
Great leaders do in fact lead, even when they’re faced with setbacks.
Henry Ford experienced a major setback after designing and improving the Ford Quadricycle. He founded the Detroit Automobile Company in 1899, but the resulting cars they produced did not live up to his standards and were too expensive. The company dissolved in 1901. Ford took this in stride and formed the Henry Ford Company. The sales were slow and the company had financial problems; it wasn’t until 1903 that the Ford Motor Company was successful and put the Ford on the map.
What Can You Learn from Walt Disney?
Get to the root cause of any problem so you can prevent it from happening again and learn from the mistake.
To do this, use the 5 Whys problem solving framework.
By asking “why” for 5 times (or more) on why something happened, you can find out the key factor that caused the problem and can find the best solution to tackle the problem.
You’ll also learn how to prevent this from happening again in the future after finding out a problem’s root cause.
5. Listen, and Give Feedback
This is far more complex than it actually sounds. Good communication skills are essential for a great leader. You may very well understand the cave of crazy that is your brain, but that doesn’t mean that you can adequately take the ideas out of it and explain them to someone else.
The best leaders need to be able to communicate clearly with the people around them. They also need to be able to interpret other people properly and not take what they say personally.
The Dalai Lama, as a symbol of the unification of the state of Tibet, represents and practices Buddhist values. The Dalai Lama’s leadership is benevolent and aims toward truth and understanding, alongside the other Buddhist precepts. This is a great example for all leaders: if you want to give good directions to others, you have to get feedback from others to understand the situation properly.
What Can You Learn from Dalai Lama?
Encourage communication between team members and establishing an open door policy.
Practice not to interrupt team members when they’re talking.
Summarize what they say and ask for feedback every time after you have talked about your ideas.
6. Know How and When to Delegate
No matter how much you might want to, you can’t actually do everything yourself. Even if you could, in a team environment that would be a terrible idea anyway.
Good leaders recognize that delegation does more than simply alleviate their own stress levels (although that’s obviously a nice perk). Delegating to others shows that you have confidence in their abilities, which subsequently results in higher morale in the workplace, as well as loyalty from your staff. They want to feel appreciated and trusted.
Although Steve Jobs is known for focusing in on the smallest of details, he knew how to delegate. By finding, cultivating, and trusting capable team members – like Tim Cook – Jobs was able to make Apple run smoothly, even while he had to be absent for extended periods of time.
What Can You Learn from Steve Jobs?
To know when and how to delegate work to team members, you have to be very familiar with each of them:
- List out all of their strengths, weaknesses and personalities.
- Talk with your team members more too to know more about their passion and interests.
Take a look at this guide and learn more about delegation: How to Delegate Work Effectively (The Definitive Guide for Leaders)
7. Inspire and Grow People Around
Any good leader knows how important it is to develop the skills of those around them. The best can recognize those skills early on. Not only will development make work easier as they improve and grow, it will also foster morale. In addition, they may develop some skills that you don’t possess that will be beneficial to the workplace.
Great leaders share their knowledge with the team and give them the opportunity to achieve. This is how leaders gain their respect and loyalty.
Pope Francis has been unusually popular with many Catholics and many non-Catholics. His position isn’t totally traditional, which is part of his appeal, but he also has admirable leadership skills. Pope Francis’s TED talk drew attention, because he encouraged leaders to be humble and to demonstrate solidarity with others. This inclusive, kind, and respectful style of leadership is incredibly important for any situation.
What Can You Learn from Pope Francis?
Spend time to talk with other team members individually to understand them.
Find out team members’ current challenges and try to give feedback and encouragement so they will grow and do better.
8. Take Responsibility and Never Blame Others
Great leaders know that when it comes to their company, work place or whatever situation they’re in, they need to take personal responsibility for failure. How can they expect employees to hold themselves accountable if they themselves don’t?
The best leaders don’t make excuses; they take the blame and then work out how to fix the problem as soon as possible. This proves that they’re trustworthy and possess integrity.
Howard Gillman is the chancellor of UC Irvine. You might have heard of how the university rescinded a bunch of acceptances, and then changed its mind. This past spring, an unusually high number of accepted students decided to matriculate; the school initially responded by rescinding offers over things like missed deadlines. But the college realized this was a mistake and reversed its decision. Gillman and the university accepted responsibility and decided to move past their earlier bad decision.
What Can You Learn from Howard Gillman?
Ask yourself what you could have done better to prevent this from happening.
Take the responsibility and think about what you can do better to prevent this from happening next time.
9. Make Decisions Based on Lessons Learned in the Past
It’s safe to say that all great leaders will have to enter unchartered waters at some point during their career (figuratively, of course). Because of this, they have to be able to trust their intuition and draw on past experiences to guide them.
Great leaders know that there’s always something to learn from everything they have experienced before. They are able to connect the present challenges with the lessons learned in the past to make decisions and take actions promptly.
You can either recall what you’ve learned from your memories, or search from your notes (ideally, a software that you can access anywhere with things well-organized).
Warren Buffett, one of the richest people in the world, has mostly made the right calls. But in dealing with huge amounts of money, Buffett has also made several multi-million (and sometimes multi-billion) dollar mistakes. He has stated that buying the company Berkshire Hathaway was his biggest mistake. From that poor choice, he realized that it was unwise to pursue “improvements” and “expansions” in the existing textile industry. Despite mistakes like this, Buffett has invested wisely – and it shows.
What Can You Learn from Warren Buffett?
Write down lessons you’ve learned from any mistakes you’ve made.
Have all the lessons well organized and when similar things happen again in future, take these lessons as references.
10. Lead by Example and Commit to Do the Best
Great leaders stick to their commitments and promises, and they are the most committed and hard working ones on the job. All great leaders lead by example.
Why should your staff and team members give it their all if you don’t bother to? By proving your own commitment, great leaders will inspire others to do the same, as well as earn their respect and instill a good work ethic.
After 15 years of house arrest, Aung San Suu Kyi was voted state counsellor in Myanmar – one of the highest-profile and most powerful positions in the country. She became a symbol of peaceful resistance when she attempted to bring democracy to her country. In the early years of her detention, she was often in solitary confinement. Suu Kyi is a perfect example of committed and belief-driven leadership, which she openly demonstrated during her many years of house arrest.
What Can You Learn from Aung San Suu Kyi?
Some people learn by observing the way you perform a task, some need more detailed guidelines.
So dedicate time to demonstrate your work to team members, let them observe how you do it. Summarize the skills you use and let team members know how you make difficult things work.
The Bottom Line
Leadership traits are learnable. If you practice consistently, you can be a great leader too.
Make small changes your habits when you work with your team – wherever that may be. Most of us aren’t presidents or CEOs.
But we all work with other people, and our actions always impact others. This gives every person the chance to develop leadership skills and to stand out from the crowd.
More About Leadership
- Leadership vs Management: Is One Better Than the Other?
- Why Leadership and Management Are Two Sides of a Coin
- 15 Best Leadership Books Every Leader Must Read To Achieve Success
- Master These 10 Management Skills to Become a Strong Leader
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com
|||^||NPR: President Obama’s 2016 Turkey-Pardon Dad Jokes: The Definitive List|
|||^||Funny or Die: President Barack Obama: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis|
|||^||The New York Times: A College Admits a Big Mistake. Imagine That|
|||^||Business Insider: Warren Buffett Admits To 5 Big Mistakes|
|||^||BBC News: Profile: Aung San Suu Kyi|