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10 Reasons Why It is Nonsense to Blame Women for Not Wanting Babies

10 Reasons Why It is Nonsense to Blame Women for Not Wanting Babies

Throughout history, women who have decided to not have children have been shunned, pressured and criticized by society. This is a new era though, and the decision to not have children isn’t so black and white. These 10 reasons why the blame should stop being placed on women just about sums it up.

1. For too long, it has been a societal expectation for women to have babies.

While some women absolutely love the idea of having a baby and being a mother, other women simply have no passion for it. Unfortunately this idea can be surprising to a culture that defines a woman’s worth by her ability to produce and raise kids. Being a mother requires a lot of passion, so we must be open minded enough to respect the decision of those who decide not to be one.

2. It is incredibly painful.

This might seem like an obvious statement; though it is one that I must state. Having a baby is an incredibly painful process for a woman. It is not just the day of labor, but the entire nine months leading up to it. From morning sickness to swollen ankles, it is an uncomfortable journey to say the least. And even with all of our advances in modern medicine, the process can also be very dangerous. There is no guarantee of a non-complicated pregnancy or birth.

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3. The world is over populated as it is.

This may not factor into a woman’s decision to have or not have children, however the main purpose of reproduction is an intense desire to populate. With more than 7 billion people in the world today, I say we have successfully accomplished that goal. At this point in our existence, it is actually beneficial to society if some women do not crave motherhood.

4. Physical changes aren’t easy.

Having a baby brings a lot of physical changes to a woman’s body, some of which will never go away. You will find things are in places they never used to be, stretch marks in places you never knew you had and overall, this new body is not the one you have come to know and love. For some women, this can be a very daunting reality and the cost is just too high.

5. Financial changes are too great.

There is an old proverb that says “count the cost before you build”. When having a child, you are building a family. It is a wise to make sure you can afford it. There are very real costs that come with having a child. This includes hospital bills, housing and feeding. It is not a decision to make solely on sentiments. With many single mothers ranked among the poorest people in the world, I say we must consider the perspective of women who have chosen to lower their risk of poverty.

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Society should not fault a woman who is logical enough to look at her situation objectively and make the hard decision to not raise her kids on welfare, debt and hope.

6. Career Choices, dreams and ambitions.

For some women, having a child is their biggest dream and greatest achievement. For others, that dream would be the antithesis of what they really want out of life. Whether it’s a career or a life of adventure and travel, putting down roots and raising a family could be the death of a dream for some women.

7. Parenthood is never as easy as it seems.

Everyone tells you about the joys and blessings of having children. But no one is ever as quick to tell you about the sleepless nights, 2 am feedings, spit up or poopy diapers. As much as you might think you know about that reality, until you are a parent yourself, you will never be able to comprehend just how hard that job can be.

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8. There is a difference between having a child and raising a child.

Having a child makes you the noun “parent”. However raising a child makes you the verb “parent”.
This is a lifetime commitment and not a one-time event. It is understandable if a woman cannot make this commitment.

9. Some women are not afraid to be alone.

In our society today, there are many women approaching their 30’s and 40’s who are still single. For many of them, it is a choice. Whether they have not found a partner they like enough to commit to, or they just enjoy the freedom that comes with being single, this is the reality that they have chosen for themselves. However in reality, society will still pressure them to have kids for companionship.

10. Having a baby is a personal decision.

We are lucky enough to live in a society where all men and women are created free and equal. So a woman’s choice to have or not have a child should not be judged, criticized or pressured.

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Featured photo credit: https://www.google.com/search?q=parenthood+pictures&biw=1024&bih=475&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=EKmsVKq6FYK-ggTinIOQDQ&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#tbm=isch&q=pictures+of+mothers+&imgdii=_&imgrc=u6og7tHWsgT5lM%253A%3Bnbb9V9mDwoN64M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Ftrimdownglobal.com%252Ftrimdownlara%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252Fsites%252F48%252F2014%252F11%252FMother-Child_face_to_face.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Ftrimdownglobal.com%252Ftrimdownlara%252Fmother-mothers-please-share%252F%3B1815%3B1596 via google.com

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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