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10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

Even though almost everyone learns how to read by the time they’re seven years old, it’s difficult to find people who read for fun. These days with smartphones, social media, hundreds of TV stations and streaming services, and more gaming platforms than you can shake a stick at, people are simply finding other ways to entertain themselves. Believe it or not, there are still men who read and here’s why you should seek those people out and date a guy who reads.

1. They tend to be more sophisticated

date a guy who reads

    Men who read are generally more sophisticated than those who do not. Reading allows people to delve into opinions and realities other than their own and thus it helps improve their perspective. That can result in a higher intelligence, more wisdom, more patience, and more composure. Let’s not forget that people who frequently read are part of a culture of people who read and those people tend to enjoy things like good wine, tea, coffee, comfortable furniture, and mood lighting more than other people.

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    2. They’re more intelligent

    When you read a lot, you learn a lot. Just because they read a fantasy novel filled with dragons and elves doesn’t mean that there aren’t a lot of life lessons baked into those pages. You’ll find who people who read a lot of novels have a better vocabulary than those who read either magazines or not at all. They tend to connect the dots better, take hints better, and react better to new information. They also communicate better, which is one of the most important thing in a relationship. We’re not saying a man who reads is prepared for anything but you’ll definitely hear him utter the words, “I don’t know,” a lot less than normal men.

    3. They’re more creative

    Creativity matters in a relationship. After a few years it begins to get difficult to surprise your significant other or keep the romance fresh. When a guy reads a lot, he absorbs the creativity of authors as if through osmosis. Reading all those scenarios and stories in all of those books gives men ideas that they may not have had otherwise. If you’re in it for the long haul, a heavy reader will find ways to keep things interesting. It may not be skydiving or something ridiculous like that, but those epic scavenger hunts that end with the perfect anniversary gift wasn’t something he just dreamed up. He read it somewhere.

    4. His inner child is more alive

    That means he’ll know how to handle kids when you eventually have some. He’ll be the one who tucks in the kids with the perfect storybook in hand, ready to read the kids epic stories of love, adventure, and friendship. And if we’re honest, those are the lessons we want to teach our kids growing up, are they not? Since he loves to read anyway, he won’t mind reading for the kids at bed time. He’ll be the guy who gets into the stories with the fake voices and really cares that the kids are absorbed by the story. You’ll be the woman standing in the hall laughing at your big, lovable lug because, let’s face it, that’s adorable.

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    5. He’ll be a more passionate lover

    Have you ever read a tastefully written sex scene in a novel? They’re descriptive but not overly so and some authors are very imaginative. In the worlds that he visits, people are passionate. As we said earlier, people who read a lot learn from the things that they read. That means when he reads a tasteful, yet passionate sex scene, he learns from it and that only means good things for you.

    6. He’s more patient

    Reading a book takes time. Busy men may stay on that same book for weeks until they finish. For others, they can chew through a few hundred pages in just a few hours. Whether it’s being patient enough to read the same book for a long time or sit down long enough to read a whole book in one go, men who read are more patient. Patience is a skill and it’s one that is honed over years of practice. Readers have more patience, which means he’ll be less likely to just up and leave you for no apparent reason. He’ll be patient enough to work out problems in the relationship and stick around. That’s a trait that’s dying quickly in the newer generations. You’ll be like one of his books, and I guarantee you’ll never see him throw away one of his books.

    7. He will teach you things

    As we’ve stated repeatedly, men who read know things. They’ve read a lot of words and those words contain lessons. Not all books they read are fantasy or drama novels. Sometimes they read how-tos. Not only do they like to read but they like to learn and that means there are probably a considerable number of things that they can teach you about life, love, and maybe even some practical things, like DIY home projects or possibly even your computer or smartphone. As Red Green always said, “If women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

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    8. You are guaranteed private time

    date a guy who reads

      Readers like to read. That sounds like a dumb statement but hear me out. When readers read they don’t like to be disturbed. They’re engaging with the words and painting pictures of vast landscapes and epic scenes in their head. When a man who reads sits down to read, you have time to yourself to do what you want. Take a bath, take a nap, go out shopping for a couple of hours, or do whatever it is you like to do. Book readers aren’t clingy, because if you don’t want to hang out, they have a place to go to chill to wait for you.

      9. He knows what romance is really about

      He’s read books that contain romance. Even fantasy novels crafted for young adult men have romances in them. In the books he reads, the hero and/or heroine and the people they love endure the worst. They endure battles and betrayal, separation and desperation. They stay together (most of the time) and their characters are shining beacons of inspiration for what romance really is. When you find a guy who reads, you’ve found a guy who has seen romance done the right way and that means soon you will too.

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      10. He knows how to take care of things

      Books are made of paper and paper is fragile. It can be destroyed by water, dirt, neglect, abuse, and even time itself. You can be sure that a man who reads knows how to take care of his things because he wants his books to live on so he can read them again. That means there will be coasters on the tables, things will be dusted and cleaned, and he’ll treat his and your stuff with respect. You’re not a thing, but these habits of not abusing or neglecting his treasures will translate into not abusing or neglecting you. That’s a win-win.

      Readers in general are better people for having read about other people who do good things. They have a good example of how they should act and who they should be. But beware: not every reader is like this even if the majority of them are. Not every turtle-neck-toting guy reading a book in a Starbucks is going to match the description on this list and we know that. However, most of them do, and when you find one you’ll see how awesome it can be to date a guy who reads.

      Featured photo credit: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/050/c/8/a_reader_lives_a_thousand_lives_before_he_dies____by_ninastarina-d5v6kac.png via DeviantArt

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      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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      Last Updated on May 21, 2019

      How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

      How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

      For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

      If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

      Example 1

      You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

      You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

      In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

      Example 2

      You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

      People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

      You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

      Example 3

      You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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      The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

      Example 4

      You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

      Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

      If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

      Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

      • Understand your own communication style
      • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
      • Communicate with precision and care
      • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

      1. Understand Your Communication Style

      To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

      In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

      Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

      2. Learn Others Communication Styles

      Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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      If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

      “How do you prefer to receive information?”

      This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

      To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

      3. Exercise Precision and Care

      A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

      On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

      Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

      I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

      I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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      In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

      The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

      Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

      4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

      Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

      In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

      “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

      Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

      Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

      It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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      It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

      It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

      Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

      Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

      The Bottom Line

      When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

      I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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      Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

      Reference

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