Advertising
Advertising

10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

Even though almost everyone learns how to read by the time they’re seven years old, it’s difficult to find people who read for fun. These days with smartphones, social media, hundreds of TV stations and streaming services, and more gaming platforms than you can shake a stick at, people are simply finding other ways to entertain themselves. Believe it or not, there are still men who read and here’s why you should seek those people out and date a guy who reads.

1. They tend to be more sophisticated

date a guy who reads

    Men who read are generally more sophisticated than those who do not. Reading allows people to delve into opinions and realities other than their own and thus it helps improve their perspective. That can result in a higher intelligence, more wisdom, more patience, and more composure. Let’s not forget that people who frequently read are part of a culture of people who read and those people tend to enjoy things like good wine, tea, coffee, comfortable furniture, and mood lighting more than other people.

    Advertising

    2. They’re more intelligent

    When you read a lot, you learn a lot. Just because they read a fantasy novel filled with dragons and elves doesn’t mean that there aren’t a lot of life lessons baked into those pages. You’ll find who people who read a lot of novels have a better vocabulary than those who read either magazines or not at all. They tend to connect the dots better, take hints better, and react better to new information. They also communicate better, which is one of the most important thing in a relationship. We’re not saying a man who reads is prepared for anything but you’ll definitely hear him utter the words, “I don’t know,” a lot less than normal men.

    3. They’re more creative

    Creativity matters in a relationship. After a few years it begins to get difficult to surprise your significant other or keep the romance fresh. When a guy reads a lot, he absorbs the creativity of authors as if through osmosis. Reading all those scenarios and stories in all of those books gives men ideas that they may not have had otherwise. If you’re in it for the long haul, a heavy reader will find ways to keep things interesting. It may not be skydiving or something ridiculous like that, but those epic scavenger hunts that end with the perfect anniversary gift wasn’t something he just dreamed up. He read it somewhere.

    4. His inner child is more alive

    That means he’ll know how to handle kids when you eventually have some. He’ll be the one who tucks in the kids with the perfect storybook in hand, ready to read the kids epic stories of love, adventure, and friendship. And if we’re honest, those are the lessons we want to teach our kids growing up, are they not? Since he loves to read anyway, he won’t mind reading for the kids at bed time. He’ll be the guy who gets into the stories with the fake voices and really cares that the kids are absorbed by the story. You’ll be the woman standing in the hall laughing at your big, lovable lug because, let’s face it, that’s adorable.

    Advertising

    5. He’ll be a more passionate lover

    Have you ever read a tastefully written sex scene in a novel? They’re descriptive but not overly so and some authors are very imaginative. In the worlds that he visits, people are passionate. As we said earlier, people who read a lot learn from the things that they read. That means when he reads a tasteful, yet passionate sex scene, he learns from it and that only means good things for you.

    6. He’s more patient

    Reading a book takes time. Busy men may stay on that same book for weeks until they finish. For others, they can chew through a few hundred pages in just a few hours. Whether it’s being patient enough to read the same book for a long time or sit down long enough to read a whole book in one go, men who read are more patient. Patience is a skill and it’s one that is honed over years of practice. Readers have more patience, which means he’ll be less likely to just up and leave you for no apparent reason. He’ll be patient enough to work out problems in the relationship and stick around. That’s a trait that’s dying quickly in the newer generations. You’ll be like one of his books, and I guarantee you’ll never see him throw away one of his books.

    7. He will teach you things

    As we’ve stated repeatedly, men who read know things. They’ve read a lot of words and those words contain lessons. Not all books they read are fantasy or drama novels. Sometimes they read how-tos. Not only do they like to read but they like to learn and that means there are probably a considerable number of things that they can teach you about life, love, and maybe even some practical things, like DIY home projects or possibly even your computer or smartphone. As Red Green always said, “If women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

    Advertising

    8. You are guaranteed private time

    date a guy who reads

      Readers like to read. That sounds like a dumb statement but hear me out. When readers read they don’t like to be disturbed. They’re engaging with the words and painting pictures of vast landscapes and epic scenes in their head. When a man who reads sits down to read, you have time to yourself to do what you want. Take a bath, take a nap, go out shopping for a couple of hours, or do whatever it is you like to do. Book readers aren’t clingy, because if you don’t want to hang out, they have a place to go to chill to wait for you.

      9. He knows what romance is really about

      He’s read books that contain romance. Even fantasy novels crafted for young adult men have romances in them. In the books he reads, the hero and/or heroine and the people they love endure the worst. They endure battles and betrayal, separation and desperation. They stay together (most of the time) and their characters are shining beacons of inspiration for what romance really is. When you find a guy who reads, you’ve found a guy who has seen romance done the right way and that means soon you will too.

      Advertising

      10. He knows how to take care of things

      Books are made of paper and paper is fragile. It can be destroyed by water, dirt, neglect, abuse, and even time itself. You can be sure that a man who reads knows how to take care of his things because he wants his books to live on so he can read them again. That means there will be coasters on the tables, things will be dusted and cleaned, and he’ll treat his and your stuff with respect. You’re not a thing, but these habits of not abusing or neglecting his treasures will translate into not abusing or neglecting you. That’s a win-win.

      Readers in general are better people for having read about other people who do good things. They have a good example of how they should act and who they should be. But beware: not every reader is like this even if the majority of them are. Not every turtle-neck-toting guy reading a book in a Starbucks is going to match the description on this list and we know that. However, most of them do, and when you find one you’ll see how awesome it can be to date a guy who reads.

      Featured photo credit: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/050/c/8/a_reader_lives_a_thousand_lives_before_he_dies____by_ninastarina-d5v6kac.png via DeviantArt

      More by this author

      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

      12 Inspirational Speeches That Teach You the Most Valuable Life Lessons 10 Benefits of Sleeping Naked You Probably Didn’t Know 15 Most Effective Cool Down Exercises For Every Workout 10 Things Guys Love That You Didn’t Expect 20 Google Search Tips to Use Google More Efficiently

      Trending in Communication

      1 Why an Attitude of Gratitude Is Essential (And How to Develop It) 2 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 3 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 4 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 5 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People?

      Read Next

      Advertising
      Advertising
      Advertising

      Last Updated on March 30, 2020

      What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

      What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

      Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

      You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

      This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

      What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

      According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

      Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

      There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

      How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

      When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

      Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

      Advertising

      1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

      One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

      The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

      Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

      2. Be Honest

      A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

      If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

      On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

      Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

      3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

      Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

      Advertising

      If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

      4. Succeed at Something

      When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

      Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

      5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

      Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

      Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

      If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

      If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

      Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

      Advertising

      6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

      Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

      You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

      On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

      You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

      7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

      Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

      Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

      Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

      When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

      Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

      Advertising

      In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

      Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

      It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

      Final Thoughts

      When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

      The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

      Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

      Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

      Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

      More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

      Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
      [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
      [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
      [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
      [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
      [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
      [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
      [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

      Read Next