Advertising
Advertising

10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

Even though almost everyone learns how to read by the time they’re seven years old, it’s difficult to find people who read for fun. These days with smartphones, social media, hundreds of TV stations and streaming services, and more gaming platforms than you can shake a stick at, people are simply finding other ways to entertain themselves. Believe it or not, there are still men who read and here’s why you should seek those people out and date a guy who reads.

1. They tend to be more sophisticated

date a guy who reads

    Men who read are generally more sophisticated than those who do not. Reading allows people to delve into opinions and realities other than their own and thus it helps improve their perspective. That can result in a higher intelligence, more wisdom, more patience, and more composure. Let’s not forget that people who frequently read are part of a culture of people who read and those people tend to enjoy things like good wine, tea, coffee, comfortable furniture, and mood lighting more than other people.

    Advertising

    2. They’re more intelligent

    When you read a lot, you learn a lot. Just because they read a fantasy novel filled with dragons and elves doesn’t mean that there aren’t a lot of life lessons baked into those pages. You’ll find who people who read a lot of novels have a better vocabulary than those who read either magazines or not at all. They tend to connect the dots better, take hints better, and react better to new information. They also communicate better, which is one of the most important thing in a relationship. We’re not saying a man who reads is prepared for anything but you’ll definitely hear him utter the words, “I don’t know,” a lot less than normal men.

    3. They’re more creative

    Creativity matters in a relationship. After a few years it begins to get difficult to surprise your significant other or keep the romance fresh. When a guy reads a lot, he absorbs the creativity of authors as if through osmosis. Reading all those scenarios and stories in all of those books gives men ideas that they may not have had otherwise. If you’re in it for the long haul, a heavy reader will find ways to keep things interesting. It may not be skydiving or something ridiculous like that, but those epic scavenger hunts that end with the perfect anniversary gift wasn’t something he just dreamed up. He read it somewhere.

    4. His inner child is more alive

    That means he’ll know how to handle kids when you eventually have some. He’ll be the one who tucks in the kids with the perfect storybook in hand, ready to read the kids epic stories of love, adventure, and friendship. And if we’re honest, those are the lessons we want to teach our kids growing up, are they not? Since he loves to read anyway, he won’t mind reading for the kids at bed time. He’ll be the guy who gets into the stories with the fake voices and really cares that the kids are absorbed by the story. You’ll be the woman standing in the hall laughing at your big, lovable lug because, let’s face it, that’s adorable.

    Advertising

    5. He’ll be a more passionate lover

    Have you ever read a tastefully written sex scene in a novel? They’re descriptive but not overly so and some authors are very imaginative. In the worlds that he visits, people are passionate. As we said earlier, people who read a lot learn from the things that they read. That means when he reads a tasteful, yet passionate sex scene, he learns from it and that only means good things for you.

    6. He’s more patient

    Reading a book takes time. Busy men may stay on that same book for weeks until they finish. For others, they can chew through a few hundred pages in just a few hours. Whether it’s being patient enough to read the same book for a long time or sit down long enough to read a whole book in one go, men who read are more patient. Patience is a skill and it’s one that is honed over years of practice. Readers have more patience, which means he’ll be less likely to just up and leave you for no apparent reason. He’ll be patient enough to work out problems in the relationship and stick around. That’s a trait that’s dying quickly in the newer generations. You’ll be like one of his books, and I guarantee you’ll never see him throw away one of his books.

    7. He will teach you things

    As we’ve stated repeatedly, men who read know things. They’ve read a lot of words and those words contain lessons. Not all books they read are fantasy or drama novels. Sometimes they read how-tos. Not only do they like to read but they like to learn and that means there are probably a considerable number of things that they can teach you about life, love, and maybe even some practical things, like DIY home projects or possibly even your computer or smartphone. As Red Green always said, “If women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

    Advertising

    8. You are guaranteed private time

    date a guy who reads

      Readers like to read. That sounds like a dumb statement but hear me out. When readers read they don’t like to be disturbed. They’re engaging with the words and painting pictures of vast landscapes and epic scenes in their head. When a man who reads sits down to read, you have time to yourself to do what you want. Take a bath, take a nap, go out shopping for a couple of hours, or do whatever it is you like to do. Book readers aren’t clingy, because if you don’t want to hang out, they have a place to go to chill to wait for you.

      9. He knows what romance is really about

      He’s read books that contain romance. Even fantasy novels crafted for young adult men have romances in them. In the books he reads, the hero and/or heroine and the people they love endure the worst. They endure battles and betrayal, separation and desperation. They stay together (most of the time) and their characters are shining beacons of inspiration for what romance really is. When you find a guy who reads, you’ve found a guy who has seen romance done the right way and that means soon you will too.

      Advertising

      10. He knows how to take care of things

      Books are made of paper and paper is fragile. It can be destroyed by water, dirt, neglect, abuse, and even time itself. You can be sure that a man who reads knows how to take care of his things because he wants his books to live on so he can read them again. That means there will be coasters on the tables, things will be dusted and cleaned, and he’ll treat his and your stuff with respect. You’re not a thing, but these habits of not abusing or neglecting his treasures will translate into not abusing or neglecting you. That’s a win-win.

      Readers in general are better people for having read about other people who do good things. They have a good example of how they should act and who they should be. But beware: not every reader is like this even if the majority of them are. Not every turtle-neck-toting guy reading a book in a Starbucks is going to match the description on this list and we know that. However, most of them do, and when you find one you’ll see how awesome it can be to date a guy who reads.

      Featured photo credit: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/050/c/8/a_reader_lives_a_thousand_lives_before_he_dies____by_ninastarina-d5v6kac.png via DeviantArt

      More by this author

      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

      12 Inspirational Speeches That Teach You the Most Valuable Life Lessons 10 Benefits of Sleeping Naked You Probably Didn’t Know 15 Most Effective Cool Down Exercises For Every Workout 10 Things Guys Love That You Didn’t Expect 20 Google Search Tips to Use Google More Efficiently

      Trending in Communication

      1 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy 2 7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language 3 How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake 4 7 Science-Backed Books About Spirituality That Will Change Your Life 5 20 Things Life Is Too Short to Worry About

      Read Next

      Advertising
      Advertising
      Advertising

      Last Updated on January 15, 2021

      7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

      7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

      The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

      Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

      Posture

      First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

      • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
      • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
      • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
      • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

      All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

      Facial Expressions

      Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

      • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
      • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
      • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

      If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

      Advertising

      1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

      A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

      The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

      This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

      2. Relax Your Face

      New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

      The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

      To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

      Advertising

      3. Improve Your Eye Contact

      Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

      The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

      To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

      3. Smile More

      There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

      Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

      4. Hand Gestures

      Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

      Advertising

      It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

      5. Enhance Your Handshake

      In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

      “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

      It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

      6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

      As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

      Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

      Advertising

      Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

      Final Takeaways

      Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

      If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

      More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

      Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

      Reference

      Read Next