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10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

10 Reasons to Date a Guy Who Reads

Even though almost everyone learns how to read by the time they’re seven years old, it’s difficult to find people who read for fun. These days with smartphones, social media, hundreds of TV stations and streaming services, and more gaming platforms than you can shake a stick at, people are simply finding other ways to entertain themselves. Believe it or not, there are still men who read and here’s why you should seek those people out and date a guy who reads.

1. They tend to be more sophisticated

date a guy who reads

    Men who read are generally more sophisticated than those who do not. Reading allows people to delve into opinions and realities other than their own and thus it helps improve their perspective. That can result in a higher intelligence, more wisdom, more patience, and more composure. Let’s not forget that people who frequently read are part of a culture of people who read and those people tend to enjoy things like good wine, tea, coffee, comfortable furniture, and mood lighting more than other people.

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    2. They’re more intelligent

    When you read a lot, you learn a lot. Just because they read a fantasy novel filled with dragons and elves doesn’t mean that there aren’t a lot of life lessons baked into those pages. You’ll find who people who read a lot of novels have a better vocabulary than those who read either magazines or not at all. They tend to connect the dots better, take hints better, and react better to new information. They also communicate better, which is one of the most important thing in a relationship. We’re not saying a man who reads is prepared for anything but you’ll definitely hear him utter the words, “I don’t know,” a lot less than normal men.

    3. They’re more creative

    Creativity matters in a relationship. After a few years it begins to get difficult to surprise your significant other or keep the romance fresh. When a guy reads a lot, he absorbs the creativity of authors as if through osmosis. Reading all those scenarios and stories in all of those books gives men ideas that they may not have had otherwise. If you’re in it for the long haul, a heavy reader will find ways to keep things interesting. It may not be skydiving or something ridiculous like that, but those epic scavenger hunts that end with the perfect anniversary gift wasn’t something he just dreamed up. He read it somewhere.

    4. His inner child is more alive

    That means he’ll know how to handle kids when you eventually have some. He’ll be the one who tucks in the kids with the perfect storybook in hand, ready to read the kids epic stories of love, adventure, and friendship. And if we’re honest, those are the lessons we want to teach our kids growing up, are they not? Since he loves to read anyway, he won’t mind reading for the kids at bed time. He’ll be the guy who gets into the stories with the fake voices and really cares that the kids are absorbed by the story. You’ll be the woman standing in the hall laughing at your big, lovable lug because, let’s face it, that’s adorable.

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    5. He’ll be a more passionate lover

    Have you ever read a tastefully written sex scene in a novel? They’re descriptive but not overly so and some authors are very imaginative. In the worlds that he visits, people are passionate. As we said earlier, people who read a lot learn from the things that they read. That means when he reads a tasteful, yet passionate sex scene, he learns from it and that only means good things for you.

    6. He’s more patient

    Reading a book takes time. Busy men may stay on that same book for weeks until they finish. For others, they can chew through a few hundred pages in just a few hours. Whether it’s being patient enough to read the same book for a long time or sit down long enough to read a whole book in one go, men who read are more patient. Patience is a skill and it’s one that is honed over years of practice. Readers have more patience, which means he’ll be less likely to just up and leave you for no apparent reason. He’ll be patient enough to work out problems in the relationship and stick around. That’s a trait that’s dying quickly in the newer generations. You’ll be like one of his books, and I guarantee you’ll never see him throw away one of his books.

    7. He will teach you things

    As we’ve stated repeatedly, men who read know things. They’ve read a lot of words and those words contain lessons. Not all books they read are fantasy or drama novels. Sometimes they read how-tos. Not only do they like to read but they like to learn and that means there are probably a considerable number of things that they can teach you about life, love, and maybe even some practical things, like DIY home projects or possibly even your computer or smartphone. As Red Green always said, “If women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

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    8. You are guaranteed private time

    date a guy who reads

      Readers like to read. That sounds like a dumb statement but hear me out. When readers read they don’t like to be disturbed. They’re engaging with the words and painting pictures of vast landscapes and epic scenes in their head. When a man who reads sits down to read, you have time to yourself to do what you want. Take a bath, take a nap, go out shopping for a couple of hours, or do whatever it is you like to do. Book readers aren’t clingy, because if you don’t want to hang out, they have a place to go to chill to wait for you.

      9. He knows what romance is really about

      He’s read books that contain romance. Even fantasy novels crafted for young adult men have romances in them. In the books he reads, the hero and/or heroine and the people they love endure the worst. They endure battles and betrayal, separation and desperation. They stay together (most of the time) and their characters are shining beacons of inspiration for what romance really is. When you find a guy who reads, you’ve found a guy who has seen romance done the right way and that means soon you will too.

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      10. He knows how to take care of things

      Books are made of paper and paper is fragile. It can be destroyed by water, dirt, neglect, abuse, and even time itself. You can be sure that a man who reads knows how to take care of his things because he wants his books to live on so he can read them again. That means there will be coasters on the tables, things will be dusted and cleaned, and he’ll treat his and your stuff with respect. You’re not a thing, but these habits of not abusing or neglecting his treasures will translate into not abusing or neglecting you. That’s a win-win.

      Readers in general are better people for having read about other people who do good things. They have a good example of how they should act and who they should be. But beware: not every reader is like this even if the majority of them are. Not every turtle-neck-toting guy reading a book in a Starbucks is going to match the description on this list and we know that. However, most of them do, and when you find one you’ll see how awesome it can be to date a guy who reads.

      Featured photo credit: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/050/c/8/a_reader_lives_a_thousand_lives_before_he_dies____by_ninastarina-d5v6kac.png via DeviantArt

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      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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      Last Updated on August 12, 2020

      When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

      When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

      Learning how to trust your gut, otherwise known as your intuition, can keep you safe. Your gut can guide you and help you build your confidence and resilience. My own gut instinct has saved me on more than one occasion. It has also guided me into making sound career choices and other exciting, big decisions. I’m also aware of the times when I’ve gone against my instincts and really regretted it later, wondering why I didn’t tune in to that valuable internal voice that we all have within us.

      In this article, we’re going to explore why and how you should listen to your gut, as well as some concrete tips on how to make sure you’re making the most out of your gut instincts.

      How to Listen to Your Gut

      The key when making any big decision is to always take a minute to listen well to yourself and your inner compass. If you hear your actual voice saying yes while inside you’re silently screaming no, my advice is to ask for some time to think, or simply take a breath and pause before the yes or no escapes your mouth.

      Use that moment to breathe, check in with yourself, and give the answer that feels congruent with who you are and what you want, not the one that always involves following the herd. Trusting your gut means having the courage to not simply go with the majority. It can be about holding your own. Here’s how to hone that skill for yourself and reap the rewards.

      1. Tune Into Your Body

      Your body gives you clues when you’re faced with a big decision. There are many visible and obvious symptoms that we feel in uncomfortable situations. Our body’s reaction is often something that we might try to hide, for example, blushing, being lost for words, or shaking. There are things we might do to try and hide that physical reaction, whether it’s wearing makeup, having a glass of wine or coffee to perk us up a bit, or learning to control our nerves.

      However, paying attention to your body when you experience these feelings of anxiety can teach you so much and help you to make sound choices. Some people will experience an actual “gut” feeling of stomach ache or indigestion in an uncomfortable situation.

      Ask yourself what’s really going on here, and explore what is happening behind your body’s response to the situation. What can your reaction or instinct teach you? Understanding that can be a clue and can help you either learn something about yourself, the situation, or other people. The answers are often within us.

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      Sometimes we’ll get this “something’s not right here” feeling and cannot quite put our finger on it or explain it. That can still be incredibly useful and really guide us away from danger, even if we don’t know the reason.

      In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell also argues this, making the point that sometimes our subconscious is better at processing the answer we need, and that we don’t necessarily need to take time to collect hours and hours of information to come to a reliable conclusion[1].

      2. Ensure Your Head Is Clear Before Making a Decision

      Energy, sleep, and good nutrition are so vital to nourishing our minds, as well as our bodies. There are times when your instinct could lead you astray, and one of these is when you are hungry, “hangry” (angry because you’re hungry!), tired, or anxious. If this is the case–and it may sound obvious–do consider sleeping or eating on it before making an important choice.

      There is, in fact, a connection between our gut and our brain[2], which is where terms like “butterflies in the stomach” and “gut-wrenching” originate from. Stress and emotions can cause physical feelings, and ignoring them might do more harm than good.

      3. Don’t Be Afraid to Say What You Think and Feel

      Listening to your gut and really paying attention to it might involve standing up and being counted, calling something out, or taking a stand. As someone who works for myself, I’ve become used to following the less-travelled road, and that’s given me the chance to strike out on my own in other ways, too.

      As they tell you in the planes, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” and part of that self-reliance is knowing what you really want and like and what is safe and good for you, including what resonates with your personal and business values. Making good decisions with this in mind means making choices that do not go against your own beliefs, even when it may mean taking a stand. This is part of trusting yourself and trusting your instincts.

      This does not always mean taking the “safe” option, although keeping ourselves safe is an important part of the process. This is how we learn and grow, by following our own inner compass. When you do take risks, go outside of your comfort zone, or choose the less popular option, spending some time researching the facts can stand us in good stead, too.

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      4. Do Your Research If Something Feels Off

      As well as listening to our instincts, we can also back up the evidence for our chosen course of action before taking the leap. I had a gut feeling about the need for a learning and development network when I noticed my clients getting stuck with the same problems. I set up and now run such a network, but instead of simply going for it, without evidence, I followed up on my instinct with research.

      Having confidence in your gut instinct through these kinds of tests can help to minimize your risks, as well as spur you on. It will encourage you to trust your gut again in the future and trust that you are an expert with foresight and experience. You are!

      5. Challenge Your Assumptions

      When you look at the assumptions your making, this could be the clue to mistakes you are making.

      In order to check that our instincts are wise, we need to ask ourselves what blanks we might be filling in, either consciously or unconsciously. This is true not just when it comes to our own decision-making. It’s also true when we are listening to someone explain a problem or situation, and we’re about to jump in and give some advice. If we can learn to be aware of our own assumptions, we can become better listeners and better decision makers, too.

      A useful tool to become more aware of your assumptions before making a final decision is simply to ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making about this situation or person?”

      6. Educate Yourself on Unconscious Bias

      Unconscious bias is something we all have, and it can trip us up big time!

      There is a vital caveat to bear in mind when wondering about whether you can trust your gut and the feelings your body gives you, and that’s having an awareness of your unconscious bias. Understanding your own bias–which is hard to do because it literally does happen in our subconscious–can help you to make stronger, better, decisions instead of re-confirming your view of the world over and over again.

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      Bias exists, and it’s part of the human condition. All of us have it, and it colors our decisions and can impact on our performance without us realizing.

      Unconscious bias happens at a subconscious level in our brains. Our subconscious brain processes information so much faster than our conscious brain. Quick decisions we make in our subconscious are based on both our societal conditioning and how our families raised us.

      Our brains process hundreds of thousands of pieces of information daily. We unconsciously categorize and format that information into patterns that feel familiar to us. Aspects such as gender, disability, class, sexuality, body shape and size, ethnicity, and what someone does for a job can all quickly influence decisions we make about people and the relationships we choose to form. Our unconscious bias can be very subtle and go unnoticed..

      We naturally tend to gravitate towards people similar to ourselves, favoring people who we see as belonging to the same “group” as us. Being able to make a quick decision about whether someone is part of your group and distinguish friend from foe was what helped early humans to survive. Conversely, we don’t automatically favor people who we don’t immediately relate to or easily connect with.

      The downside of that human instinct to seek out similar people is the potential for prejudice, which seems to be hard-wired into human cognition, no matter how open-minded we believe ourselves to be. And these stereotypes we create can be wrong. If we only spend our time with and employ people similar to ourselves, it can create prejudices, as well as stifle fresh thinking and innovation.

      We may feel more natural or comfortable working with other people who share our own background and/or opinions than collaborating with people who don’t look, talk, or think like us. However, diversity is not just morally right; having a mix of different people and perspectives that can be genuinely heard is also a valuable way to counter groupthink. Diversity stretches us to think more critically and creatively.

      7. Trust Yourself

      It is possible to learn how to truly trust yourself[3]. Like any talent or skill, practicing trusting your gut is the best way to get really good at it. When people talk about having great intuition or being good decision-makers, it’s because they’ve worked at honing those skills, made mistakes, learned from them, and tried again.

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      Looking back at decisions you’ve made, what you did, what the outcome was, and what you’ve learned can help you become a stronger decision maker and develop solid self-trust and resilience. Making a mistake does not mean you are not great at decision-making; it’s a chance to grow and learn, and the only mistake is to ignore the lesson in that experience.

      If you are in the habit of asking others for their input, then the trick here is to choose your inner circle wisely. Having a sounding board of people who have your best interests at heart is a valuable asset, and, combined with your own excellent instincts, can make you a champion decision maker.

      The Bottom Line

      The above tips are all actionable and easy to start immediately. It’s simply about switching your thinking around, slowing down, and taking great care of this amazing machine that is your body and mind!

      Learning how to trust your gut is one of the most fundamental ways to make decisions that will help you lead the life you want and need. Tune into what your body is telling you and start making good decisions today.

      More Tips on How to Trust Your Gut

      Featured photo credit: Acy Varlan via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] Science of People: Learn to Trust Your Gut Instincts: The Science Behind Thin-slicing
      [2] Harvard Health Publishing: The gut-brain connection
      [3] Psych Central: 3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust

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