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10 Quotes That Will Surely Motivate You When Facing Huge Challenges

10 Quotes That Will Surely Motivate You When Facing Huge Challenges

When you’re going through something truly difficult, or if you have hit a roadblock, you may just want to roll over and give up. Everyone feels like that sometimes when they are facing challenges. But that’s where inspirational quotes come in! Hooray!

But really, some of these quotes are truly poignant, and might be just what you need to change your perspective and see your struggles for what they are: an opportunity.

1. “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby

Often, our stresses involve people: people not approving of your decisions, or wanting to change how you live your life, or even change you as a person.

Bill Cosby knows what’s up. It’s impossible to please everybody, and if you attempt to do it, you’ll completely abandon any goals you had for yourself. If you believe you’re doing the right thing, do it. And if anybody objects, pull on your Cosby sweater and give them a good, intimidating stare.

Cosby

    2. “Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to be truly affected by things.” ~ Zooey Deschanel

    So you’re really sad about something. That’s okay. Let it all out.

    Our society seems to think that if you’re sad, or angry, or anything but happy really, that it’s a terrible thing. Of course, you should strive to be generally happy. But you’re allowed to have fleeting moments of intense emotions, even if they hurt.

    If you’re facing a huge challenge that is truly difficult, let your emotions out, and talk to people you care about. Allow yourself to be affected.

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    Zooey

      Okay, maybe not quite that intensely.

      3. “If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.” ~ Seth Godin

      Maybe your challenge involves being scared out of your wits, because you’re afraid to fail, or you’re going into completely uncharted territory.

      Embrace that fear and just do it. On your deathbed, you won’t regret trying—but you will most definitely regret not trying just because you were afraid.

      4. “Every flower must grow through dirt.” ~ Unknown

      I love this quote. And it’s true: if you’re going to grow, flourish, and bloom, you’re going to have to work yourself through some dirt first.

      flower

        Just keep on growing.

        5. “Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.” ~ Jon Sinclair

        So many people fear failure—often, more than anything else—but it’s something everybody does at some point.

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        You’re learning. Just like walking or riding a bike, the beginning stages might involve a few tumbles and a few bruises. That’s all failure is. It’s a little fall, and it’s a bruise. You get back up, brush yourself off, and keep on going. Soon, the bruise will be completely gone.

        I mean, unless your failure involves something like this:

        tattoo

          Can’t help ya there, bud.

          6. “I said, ‘Somebody should do something about that.’ Then I realized, I am somebody.” ~ Lily Tomlin

          You can, and will, make mistakes. But never make the mistake of thinking that you can’t enact change.

          When life’s giving you some hurdles, it can be easy to feel small and insignificant. But that is never the case.

          You can change the world.

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          Barney

            7. “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

            lost

              No, not that kind of lost.

              Being totally happy with life is great, but you learn nothing about yourself from it. Most of what we learn about ourselves, we learn during our struggles.

              Use this as an opportunity to see what you’re really made of.

              8. “What am I doing?! Oh, yeah. Following my dreams. Okay. Calm down.”

              This is just a little tidbit I found on Pinterest that really resonated with me. There’s going to be a point when even the most dedicated of us doubt our paths.

              When you are going after your dreams, you’re trying something totally wild. Of course you’re going to feel like a fish out of water every now and then. Don’t flop around and freak out—just keep on swimming, like this overly extended metaphor is.

              swimming

                9. “Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.” ~ Unknown

                So you fail at something, or you’re facing a challenge. And you think, “I’ll never be as good as *insert famous example here.* I might as well give up.”

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                This is where this quote comes in.

                It’s something that I’ve always had to repeat to myself as a writer. And if you want to do, well, anything, it’s a quote that you will need at least once in your life.

                Never compare yourself to anyone but the past you. Everyone has different experiences, different opportunities, different lives.

                There’s just no point to comparing yourself to someone with far more experience than you. You’ll get there.

                dinosaur

                  10. “You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.” ~ Rolling Stones

                  This is a classic that everyone can use every now and then. Maybe you didn’t get what you wanted this time. But that’s because you didn’t need it, and your life is making room for new opportunities.

                  You’ll only be able to fully see this in the future, when you can look back on it (hindsight is 20/20, after all). So for now, while you are actively facing challenges, just breathe and let it happen.

                  Benedict

                    Anything you say, Benedict.

                    Featured photo credit: Millie Robertson via flickr.com

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                    Published on April 7, 2021

                    6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                    6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                    Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

                    While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

                    1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

                    Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

                    If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

                    In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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                    2. They Make Everything Transactional

                    Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

                    For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

                    Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

                    A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

                    Some statements to be wary of include:

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                    • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
                    • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
                    • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
                    • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

                    3. They Criticize Everything

                    One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

                    However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

                    Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

                    • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
                    • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
                    • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
                    • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

                    4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

                    We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

                    For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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                    This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

                    5. They Socially Isolate You

                    Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

                    Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

                    This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

                    In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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                    6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

                    It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

                    Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

                    Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

                    • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
                    • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
                    • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
                    • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

                    Final Thoughts

                    It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

                    More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

                    Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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