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10 Must Read Self-Help Books You Never Heard Of

10 Must Read Self-Help Books You Never Heard Of

Sometimes it is difficult to figure out who you really are. The world is full of colloquialisms and advice to help you along your way but it’s still really difficult to get a grasp of what you need to do to be who you really are. That’s why self help books exist. To explain things to people in a way that will motivate them to be themselves. Here are 10 self-help books you have probably never heard of that may say what you need in the way you need to hear it said.

1. Achieve Anything In Just One Year by Jason Harvey

self-help books

    Knowing what you want isn’t always all that you need. Sometimes you also need motivation to complete it and this book will help with that. Author Jason Harvey outlines some rules and suggestions to help get you more motivated and committed to your goals whatever they might be.

    2. Self-Defeating Behaviors by Milton R Cudney

    self-help books

      The biggest obstacles we have are ones that we give to ourselves. This next book helps you identify behaviors you do that holds you back without you knowing. Once you have identified the problems you can then work to eliminate the behaviors and replace them with self-enhancing actions to help you move toward your goals.

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      3. No More Negative Thinking by Beau Norton

      self-help books

        Depression is only a disease half of the time. The other half of the time it’s just us feeling a little bit blue. The effects are still the same, though. Being unhappy can prevent us from doing the things we love to do and it can prevent us from making progress. With this title, you can learn how to control your emotions and enjoy life with a more positive outlook.

        4. Healing Your Emotional Self by Beverley Engel

        self-help books

          In this powerful title, you learn to identify who and what is being emotionally abusive to you so that you can overcome the terrible feelings that you have. If you live with demons that you can’t seem to shake, this can help you understand that it’s really not your fault and how you can move passed them.

          5. The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi

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          self-help books

            Some may argue that this one is a little out of date but it’s still an amazing book if you need help with your self-esteem. It takes a lighter approach and helps you identify reasons why you’re self-esteem is low and how to make it higher. It teaches how to be more compassionate and how to take criticism without getting down on yourself.

            6. The Courage to be Yourself by Sue Patton Thoele

            self-help books

              This title is aimed at women who are in need of emotional strength and self-esteem. It helps women understand their problems in a way that they understand from someone who has experienced the same problems and knows how to fix them.

              7. Get Out of Your Own Way by Mark Goulston

              self-help books

                We have one book on here already that helps deal with self defeating behavior but this one takes a no nonsense approach. What makes this one different is that it deals with specific stuff like anger, greed, envy, jealousy, and over 50 other common behaviors that do nothing more than hold people back.

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                8. You are dying and your world is a lie by Johnny Truant

                self-help books

                  This is definitely the most unique book on the list. It takes a more aggressive approach to self help by telling what is really going on in the world around you. The idea being that once you have the shrouds of comfort shattered that you’ll be able to rebuild your life and your perspective with a more healthy and realistic approach. It’s a good read and every book in this series is actually free.

                  9. 50 Self-Help Classic by Tom Butler-Bowden

                  self help books

                    There are so many self-help books that it can be difficult to find the one that helps you. One way is to buy a bunch of individual books and hope it works or you can pick up a book like this one. It features 50 self-help books compiled into a single volume from the likes of legendary minds like Benjamin Franklin and Paulo Coelho. It’s not a bad buy for the opinions of some of the greatest minds ever.

                    10. The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo

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                    self-help books

                      The last title in our round up comes from Mark Nepo who is not only a poet and a philosopher but also a cancer survivor. In his book he wants to teach you how to live each day one at a time, slow down, and enjoy the beauty of life all around us. It’s a great read for those who live life too fast and need to slow down and smell the flowers before it’s too late. It has a commanding 4.8 out of 5 rating on Amazon and that’s really saying something.

                      Self-help books are everywhere and they’re released all the time. Of course, if people didn’t need help the self-help book industry would be dead in the water instead of thriving like it is. If these lesser-known titles aren’t for you then just keep looking! You’ll find what you’re looking for eventually.

                      Featured photo credit: Fan Pop via images2.fanpop.com

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                      Last Updated on January 15, 2019

                      What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

                      What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

                      When I wrote my book Extraordinary PR, Ordinary Budget: A Strategy Guide, I was surprised at the various layers of review and editing necessary to get the book to publication. Before I ever submitted the manuscript, I enlisted a former colleague to read and copy edit my work. Then, I submitted my work to an editor at the publisher’s house, and once she approved it, she sent it to her colleagues and then her company’s editorial board.

                      Upon editorial board approval of my book, my editor sent my work to reviewers in my field, then a developmental editor, then a designer and layout team and, finally, another copy editor. There were a host of personalities with whom I needed to interact along the way.

                      It turns out that getting a publishing contract was just the beginning – a lot happens between developing a concept, writing the book, finding an agent and publisher, and getting the book on bookshelves or on Audible or Kindle. Through every milestone of the publishing process, my ability to interact with others was crucial. This underscored for me that no matter what or how much a person accomplishes, you never do it alone – everyone needs assistance from others.

                      While I conceived of the book and wrote the manuscript, there is no way my book could have hit booksellers’ shelves without the dozens of people who were involved in the publishing process. Further, interpersonal skills can propel or stonewall success.

                      Even as someone who has written hundreds of essays, press releases, pitch notes and other correspondence, writing itself is not a solitary endeavor. Sure, I may write in solitude, but the moment I am finished writing, there are always clients, colleagues, partners, peers and others who review my content.

                      What is more, even as a published author and contributor for this platform, I try to never submit final copy (content) that has not been copy edited. I send everything to my copy editor, whom I pay out of my own pocket, for her review, edits and approval. Once she has reviewed my work, caught unbeknownst-to-me errors, I am much more confident putting my work out in the world.

                      How Interpersonal Skills Affect Relationships

                      It is clearer to me now more than ever before that interpersonal skills are needed in every profession and every trade.

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                      People don’t elect leaders because the leaders are smart. Individuals are motivated to vote when they have a hero and when they feel they have something to lose. If they seriously dislike the other candidate, they are much more likely vote according to a 2000 Ohio State University study:

                      “A disliked candidate is seen as a threat, and that will be motivation to go to the polls. But a threat alone isn’t enough – people need to have a hero to vote for, too, in order to inspire them to turn out on Election Day.”

                      In a work setting, interpersonal skills impact every facet of your development and success. Trainers must collaborate with a design team or the company hiring them to facilitate the training. During the training itself, the facilitators must connect with the audience and establish a rapport that supports vulnerability and openness. If the trainers interact poorly with the trainees, they are unlikely to be invited back. If they are invited back, they may be unlikely to inspire cooperation or growth in their trainees.

                      Solopreneurs interactions with clients and subcontractors, and those interactions will, in part, support or adversely impact their business. If you enjoy a career as an acclaimed surgeon or respected lawyer, your interactions with patients, clients, health insurance agencies and a team of other practitioners – many of whom are shielded from public view – will improve or decimate your practice.

                      As a hiring manager, one of the things I consider when interviewing candidates is their interpersonal skills. I assess the interpersonal skills they display in their content and face-to-face presentation. I ask probing questions to learn how they interact with others, manage conflict and contribute to a team atmosphere.

                      When candidates say things like, “I prefer to work alone” or “I can hit the ground running without assistance,” I bristle. When candidates appear to know everything and everyone, I wonder if they will be receptive to learning or open to feedback. Could these statements be indications that these individuals lack interpersonal skills?

                      It stands to reason, then, that interpersonal skills are among the most valuable and the bedrock of all talents and skills.

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                      What are Interpersonal Skills?

                      Interpersonal skills range from emotional intelligence, empathy, oral and written communication to leadership to collaboration and teamwork.

                      In sum, interpersonal skills are skills that enable you to interact well with others. They include teachability and receptiveness to feedback, active or mindful listening, self-confidence and conflict resolution.

                      From a communications standpoint, interpersonal skills are about understanding how colleagues prefer to communicate and then using the appropriate mediums to meet respective needs. It is about understanding how to communicate in a way to get the most out of different people.

                      For instance, in my career as a public relations practitioner, part of what I am constantly evaluating is which colleagues, clients and members of the media prefer email, text or phone calls. I am assessing how much frill to use with each person depending on what has worked in the past and depending on what I know about the person with whom I am interacting.

                      Making these decisions and being disciplined enough to follow each person’s known preferences helps me better connect with the various individuals in my orbit. Is this tiring at times? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely.

                      How to Improve Interpersonal Skills

                      There are tons of resources to teach interpersonal skills. I love books such as Leadership Presence by Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

                      There are also a host of books and articles on emotional intelligence, which is the ability to manage one’s emotions and perceive and adapt to others’ emotions. Emotional intelligence is likewise a critical component of positive interpersonal relations. You can learn more about it in this article: What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why It Is Important

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                      Active and mindful listening also support improved interpersonal skills. I recommend you take a look at this piece: Active Listening – A Skill That Everyone Should Master

                      I have further found that humility helps a ton with interpersonal skills. It takes humility to admit you have more to learn and that you can learn from the people around you. In fact, everyone with whom you interact has a lesson to teach you. And employers are increasingly looking for team members who are lifelong learners, meaning they believe there is always room for growth and professional and personal development.

                      Forbes contributor Kevin H. Johnson noted in a July 2018 article,

                      “That’s why, when anyone asks what the next ‘hot’ skill will be, I say it’s the same skill that will serve people today, tomorrow, and far into the future—the ability to learn.”

                      Don’t overlook introspection.

                      While interpersonal skills may seem simple enough, introspection is critical to learning where and in what ways you need to grow.

                      Through introspection and observation, I have learned that my interpersonal skills suffer when I am sleep deprived, because then I am short-tempered and irritable. I’ve observed this connection over a significant period in my life. Unsurprisingly, it is also true of others. Fellow LifeHack contributor, health coach and personal trainer Jamie Logie noted:

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                      When you are chronically sleep deprived, it really does a number on you. A lack of sleep can keep your body in a constant state of stress and over time this can get pretty ugly. Elevated stress hormones can be involved in creating a bunch of pretty nasty conditions including anxiety, headaches and dizziness, weight gain, depression, stroke, hypertension, digestive disorders, immune system dysfunction, irritability.

                      Additionally, the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reported,

                      “Sleep deprivation can noticeably affect people’s performance, including their ability to think clearly, react quickly, and form memories. Sleep deprivation also affects mood, leading to irritability; problems with relationships, especially for children and teenagers; and depression. Sleep deprivation can also increase anxiety.”

                      The point is, even as you are identifying ways to improve interpersonal skills, think about what is getting in the way. While sleep deprivation is a trigger for me, your stumbling block may be different.

                      The Bottom Line

                      You cannot fix what you do not know is broken. Even as you work to understand and apply interpersonal skills, spend some time in mindful meditation to get clear on what is holding you back from developing solid relationships.

                      Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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