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10 Benefits Of Rejection That Will Surely Impress You

10 Benefits Of Rejection That Will Surely Impress You

Like most writers, I’ve long since lost count of the number of rejections I’ve received. Rejections for written pieces (“This does not suit our needs at this time.”), rejections at job interviews (“You’re very intelligent and seem like you would be an asset, but we’ve decided to hire someone else.”), and even rejections in my personal life (“You’re a sweet guy, J.S., and I like you a lot, but…”). Rejections for this, that, and the other thing. If there’s one thing I know really, really well, it’s rejection. I also know the slow-burning anger in the gut, the frustration, and the despair that comes with it. If you’ve ever been rejected and felt like you wanted to throw a full-on three-year-old temper tantrum, install a new skylight by Hulk-smashing your couch through the ceiling, or just sit in a corner and cry until your body shrivels up into a mummy, then you know exactly how I felt, and you know that I know just how you feel.

Rejection is an unfortunate but necessary part of the human experience. Everyone experiences rejection at some point in their life, whether they realize it or not. What many people who experience this don’t ever realize are the benefits of rejection. While this may sound self-contradictory, ask anyone who’s ever been turned down for a job or had someone they cared about say they weren’t interested in the person that way. Most of the time rejection can actually be a very positive thing, if you just look at it the right way. Here are 10 benefits of rejection to consider the next time you find yourself in this position.

1. Rejection motivates us to do better.

“The position’s been filled.” “This isn’t what we’re looking for right now.” “You’re a sweet guy/girl, but…” Ouch! We’ve all been there and done that at some point, and it’s unquestionably frustrating. When confronted with rejection, this can be a sign that you need to be doing something you’re not, or stop doing something you are. Figuring out what that is will put you on the path to doing better, and experiencing less rejection in the future.

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2. Rejection reminds us we’re human.

human-evolution-1

    Everyone’s the star of their own movie, and this can lead to an understandable but inaccurate sense of one’s own importance in the larger scheme of things. Rejection is actually a good thing because everyone at some point could stand to be taken down a peg or two. Rejection helps us here because it reminds us we’re all only human, no matter how extraordinary we’d like to believe we are.

    3. Rejection teaches patience.

    Some kinds of rejection can be hurtful, while others can be outright devastating. Not landing that job you’ve spent a month sending resumes, emails, and faxes back and forth about can be one of the worst rejections because the bills and the cupboard don’t care about your hurt feelings. However, this is one time when rejection can actually help you by teaching you to be patient and keep moving. You may not get what you want right away, but if you’re willing to work hard and be patient, you will eventually find yourself where you want to be.

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    4. Rejection causes us to explore different paths.

    The Path Less Traveled By

      Sometimes rejection is life’s way of telling us we need to look at a different path to get where we want to be. Maybe the path we’re trying to take to get to our goals is all wrong for us, or maybe there’s a better way and we just haven’t realized it yet. Rejection can be a positive experience if you’re willing to take another road or try a new way of achieving the same thing.

      5. Rejection forces us to reevaluate ourselves.

      Many people deal badly with rejection. This is natural. Rejection is a painful experience. However, when someone hears the same thing enough times, they generally start to listen. “You have great skills with numbers, but you’re not too hot at dealing with other people,” is an example of such a rejection. Learning how to remake ourselves to be more goal-oriented, more people-oriented, or tweak aspects of our personalities to get along better with those around us is an important benefit of rejection people tend to overlook.

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      6. Rejection makes us reconsider our goals.

      As a species we tend to ignore warning signs that are there for our benefit, like the person who struggles through an MBA program because they’ve been told their whole lives that’s the ticket to money and power, when what they really want to do is play the violin in an orchestra. Then the person gets a job interview and is told they were woefully underqualified. At the same time, the local orchestra is looking for a third-chair violin player. Your passions will always shine through, and sometimes rejection is a way for the world to force us to consider that impossible dream we’ve always wanted to chase rather than the “safe goal” that’s going to make us miserable in the long run.

      7. Rejection creates opportunities for change.

      Think about the last time someone said, “I would never have found this job/met this person/moved to this place if the other place hadn’t refused to hire me/person hadn’t refused to marry me/town had more jobs available.” Rejection can be a powerful force for analyzing why we go for the goals we do and what it is about these goals that drives us on, or away. It can also be a good time for introspection and considering one’s reasons for going after certain things, people, jobs, or situations. If we would only take the time to listen to ourselves about these things, as a race we’d be a lot happier and a lot more confident in ourselves and our instincts.

      8. Rejection gives us new ways of looking at things.

      Everybody gets tunnel vision once in a while. We focus on one goal, one person, or one dream to the exclusion of all else. Rejection can give us a time to pause and take another look at our objectives and how we’re trying to meet them. In this case, the idea is to look around with new eyes and consider, not only new ways of getting to the same goal, but how we view our goals and dreams.

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      9. Rejection makes us stronger.

      push-up

        There’s an old saying: The strongest fish is the one that swims upstream. Rejection can often feel like it brings you to a complete halt, but in reality it gives you something to push against. People do not grow stronger when everything is working for them, but when they are forced to cope with the unexpected or the undesirable. In this way, rejection helps us by showing us just how strong, resourceful, and capable we really are when the chips are down.

        10. Rejection is an opportunity for growth.

        Rejection does not have to be an automatic negative. Instead, try looking at rejection as a chance for you to grow and learn as a person. Maybe you learn from rejection that your aftershave gives people sinus headaches, or that your demeanor in a work environment puts people off. The lessons you learn from rejection can be applied to just about any facet of your life, making you a stronger, kinder, more “polished” person.

        8 Habits You Can Adapt to Be Successful at Everything

          While rejection can be painful, you can see it can also be a blessing in disguise. The question now is, how will you deal with rejection? Will you take the opportunity it’s giving you…or install that skylight in your living room? The choice is yours.

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          Last Updated on December 2, 2018

          7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

          7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

          When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

          You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

          1. Connecting them with each other

          Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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          It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

          2. Connect with their emotions

          Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

          For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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          3. Keep going back to the beginning

          Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

          On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

          4. Link to your audience’s motivation

          After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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          Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

          5. Entertain them

          While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

          Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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          6. Appeal to loyalty

          Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

          In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

          7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

          Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

          Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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