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10 Benefits Of Rejection That Will Surely Impress You

10 Benefits Of Rejection That Will Surely Impress You

Like most writers, I’ve long since lost count of the number of rejections I’ve received. Rejections for written pieces (“This does not suit our needs at this time.”), rejections at job interviews (“You’re very intelligent and seem like you would be an asset, but we’ve decided to hire someone else.”), and even rejections in my personal life (“You’re a sweet guy, J.S., and I like you a lot, but…”). Rejections for this, that, and the other thing. If there’s one thing I know really, really well, it’s rejection. I also know the slow-burning anger in the gut, the frustration, and the despair that comes with it. If you’ve ever been rejected and felt like you wanted to throw a full-on three-year-old temper tantrum, install a new skylight by Hulk-smashing your couch through the ceiling, or just sit in a corner and cry until your body shrivels up into a mummy, then you know exactly how I felt, and you know that I know just how you feel.

Rejection is an unfortunate but necessary part of the human experience. Everyone experiences rejection at some point in their life, whether they realize it or not. What many people who experience this don’t ever realize are the benefits of rejection. While this may sound self-contradictory, ask anyone who’s ever been turned down for a job or had someone they cared about say they weren’t interested in the person that way. Most of the time rejection can actually be a very positive thing, if you just look at it the right way. Here are 10 benefits of rejection to consider the next time you find yourself in this position.

1. Rejection motivates us to do better.

“The position’s been filled.” “This isn’t what we’re looking for right now.” “You’re a sweet guy/girl, but…” Ouch! We’ve all been there and done that at some point, and it’s unquestionably frustrating. When confronted with rejection, this can be a sign that you need to be doing something you’re not, or stop doing something you are. Figuring out what that is will put you on the path to doing better, and experiencing less rejection in the future.

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2. Rejection reminds us we’re human.

human-evolution-1

    Everyone’s the star of their own movie, and this can lead to an understandable but inaccurate sense of one’s own importance in the larger scheme of things. Rejection is actually a good thing because everyone at some point could stand to be taken down a peg or two. Rejection helps us here because it reminds us we’re all only human, no matter how extraordinary we’d like to believe we are.

    3. Rejection teaches patience.

    Some kinds of rejection can be hurtful, while others can be outright devastating. Not landing that job you’ve spent a month sending resumes, emails, and faxes back and forth about can be one of the worst rejections because the bills and the cupboard don’t care about your hurt feelings. However, this is one time when rejection can actually help you by teaching you to be patient and keep moving. You may not get what you want right away, but if you’re willing to work hard and be patient, you will eventually find yourself where you want to be.

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    4. Rejection causes us to explore different paths.

    The Path Less Traveled By

      Sometimes rejection is life’s way of telling us we need to look at a different path to get where we want to be. Maybe the path we’re trying to take to get to our goals is all wrong for us, or maybe there’s a better way and we just haven’t realized it yet. Rejection can be a positive experience if you’re willing to take another road or try a new way of achieving the same thing.

      5. Rejection forces us to reevaluate ourselves.

      Many people deal badly with rejection. This is natural. Rejection is a painful experience. However, when someone hears the same thing enough times, they generally start to listen. “You have great skills with numbers, but you’re not too hot at dealing with other people,” is an example of such a rejection. Learning how to remake ourselves to be more goal-oriented, more people-oriented, or tweak aspects of our personalities to get along better with those around us is an important benefit of rejection people tend to overlook.

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      6. Rejection makes us reconsider our goals.

      As a species we tend to ignore warning signs that are there for our benefit, like the person who struggles through an MBA program because they’ve been told their whole lives that’s the ticket to money and power, when what they really want to do is play the violin in an orchestra. Then the person gets a job interview and is told they were woefully underqualified. At the same time, the local orchestra is looking for a third-chair violin player. Your passions will always shine through, and sometimes rejection is a way for the world to force us to consider that impossible dream we’ve always wanted to chase rather than the “safe goal” that’s going to make us miserable in the long run.

      7. Rejection creates opportunities for change.

      Think about the last time someone said, “I would never have found this job/met this person/moved to this place if the other place hadn’t refused to hire me/person hadn’t refused to marry me/town had more jobs available.” Rejection can be a powerful force for analyzing why we go for the goals we do and what it is about these goals that drives us on, or away. It can also be a good time for introspection and considering one’s reasons for going after certain things, people, jobs, or situations. If we would only take the time to listen to ourselves about these things, as a race we’d be a lot happier and a lot more confident in ourselves and our instincts.

      8. Rejection gives us new ways of looking at things.

      Everybody gets tunnel vision once in a while. We focus on one goal, one person, or one dream to the exclusion of all else. Rejection can give us a time to pause and take another look at our objectives and how we’re trying to meet them. In this case, the idea is to look around with new eyes and consider, not only new ways of getting to the same goal, but how we view our goals and dreams.

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      9. Rejection makes us stronger.

      push-up

        There’s an old saying: The strongest fish is the one that swims upstream. Rejection can often feel like it brings you to a complete halt, but in reality it gives you something to push against. People do not grow stronger when everything is working for them, but when they are forced to cope with the unexpected or the undesirable. In this way, rejection helps us by showing us just how strong, resourceful, and capable we really are when the chips are down.

        10. Rejection is an opportunity for growth.

        Rejection does not have to be an automatic negative. Instead, try looking at rejection as a chance for you to grow and learn as a person. Maybe you learn from rejection that your aftershave gives people sinus headaches, or that your demeanor in a work environment puts people off. The lessons you learn from rejection can be applied to just about any facet of your life, making you a stronger, kinder, more “polished” person.

        8 Habits You Can Adapt to Be Successful at Everything

          While rejection can be painful, you can see it can also be a blessing in disguise. The question now is, how will you deal with rejection? Will you take the opportunity it’s giving you…or install that skylight in your living room? The choice is yours.

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          Last Updated on June 18, 2019

          40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

          40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

          Do you have racing thoughts and find yourself constantly worrying? An anxious mind is truly distressing.

          The good news is, there’re simple things you can do to calm your thought.

          If you want to achieve peace of mind and inner calm, try these 40 simple powerful ways:

          1. Listen to Music

          Studies have found that relaxing music can help kids with ADHD to be calmer and focus. But it doesn’t matter what genre of music you want to listen to, as long as you enjoy it and it makes you feel relaxed.

          Music is food for the soul and an instant way to gain peace of mind.

          2. Deep Breathing

          When you focus on your breathing, your mind’s attention is drawn to the life-enhancing process of drawing in air and exhaling.

          Take five long, deep breaths and focus on your lungs and diaphragm as you do this. This is a quick and easy way to instantly feel calm.

          Here’re also 5 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety (Simple and Calm Anxiety Quickly).

          3. Go for a Walk

          Getting out in the fresh air can do you a world of good and promote peace of mind. Take a break and get the blood pumping – especially when the sun is shining.

          4. Enjoy Nature

          Too much concrete is never a good thing. Spending time in nature can actually make you feel younger, happier. Here’s why.

          Spend time away from the city. Listen to the birds singing and enjoy the peace and tranquility.

          5. Play with a Pet

          Having a pet to play with is a great way to de-stress. Touch is a powerful sense and can ease tension and promote peace of mind.

          6. Declutter

          Have regular clear-outs. Clutter can add to feelings of tension and a clean, clear home allows a clearer, more peaceful mind.

          Take a look at this article and learn How to Declutter Your Mind to Sharpen Your Brain and Fall Asleep Faster.

          7. Acceptance

          Acceptance is crucial for peace of mind. Accepting that there are few guarantees in the world and learning to tolerate uncertainty is a huge leap in the peace-of-mind stakes. Differentiate between what you can and cannot control.

          8. Mindfulness

          When we are mindful, we are fully present in the moment and acutely aware of our five senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell.

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          Engage your senses. This leaves less time for your mind to worry and think about “what ifs.”

          Here you can learn about The Power of Mindfulness.

          9. Self Love

          The more we like ourselves, the greater our peace of mind. We accept ourselves more and feel at ease in the world, no matter what situation we find ourselves in. We experience less insecurity and as a result, our inner peace is heightened.

          Start trying these 30 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself.

          10. Be True to You

          This is another vital component of peace of mind. When we practice congruency, we behave similarly to the way we feel and think. When the way we see ourselves and the way the world sees us is the same, we are practicing congruency.

          Problems arise when we see ourselves one way (for example, as a loving mother) but behave in ways that are at odds with how we would like to see ourselves (for example, neglect our children because we are too busy). Finding ways to keep our inner ideals and the way we behave similar is one of the keys to peace of mind.

          Find out How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want.

          11. Sense of Humor

          Laugh a lot. The world is instantly a better place when you can see the funny side of life. Laughter is a great antidote for stress and releases hormones that help us relax.

          12. Love Unconditionally

          When you don’t expect anything back, it makes it easier to love without fear. When we love with conditions attached, our unmet expectations can create inner turmoil and feelings of resentment. Insecurities destroy peace of mind.

          13. Go for Regular Health Checks

          It pays to keep checks on your health and look after yourself. Letting ourselves go can indicate a lack of self-respect, and this in turn will affect the way we see the world and the way others interact with us. Be kind to yourself and make the most of what you have.

          14. Take Stock

          Every now and then, it’s a good idea to check whether you’re happy with the quality of your life. Do you like your job? Your relationship? Are you on the right track? Make adjustments if necessary to restore peace of mind.

          15. Have Goals

          This ties in with number 14. Goals keep us going in the right direction and give us a sense of purpose. Make your goals SMART: How to Set SMART Goal to Make Lasting Changes in Life

          16. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

          This relates to number 11. Learn to be more flexible in your approach to life. The more rigid our thinking is, the easier it is to experience situations that contradict our rigid ideas.

          17. Live in the Moment

          Instead of worrying about the past or panicking about the future, really enjoy the NOW. It’s all we have — this moment in time.

          When we live in the present, the concerns of the past and future can’t worry us.

          Here’re some tips on How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future.

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          18. Worry Less

          We apparently have somewhere between 30,000 – 75,000 thoughts per day, of which 80% are random “nonsense.”

          Learn to “shelve” worrying by reminding yourself that most of your worries are unproductive and remove any chance of peace of mind.

          Some advice for you who worry often: How to Worry Less: 90% of What You Fear Won’t Happen

          19. Be Assertive

          You have as much right to be here and to have an opinion as anyone else. When we become passive or submissive, we do ourselves a disservice.

          Being assertive isn’t about your needs ahead of others (aggressive) or their needs ahead of yours (passive). Rather, it is about compromise —  a “win-win” situation.

          Learn How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way.

          20. Speak Your Mind

          Don’t be afraid to say what you’re thinking. This goes hand in hand with being assertive.

          Ask for what you want in life. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

          21. Enjoy “Me-Time”

          Time out is important. A little bit of selfish time to treat yourself or do exactly as you please sets you up for taking on the constant demands of life. Balance in life is crucial.

          22. Frolic

          The free online dictionary describes the word “frolic” as:

          “To behave playfully and uninhibitedly; romp.”

          All work and no play will stress anyone out. Make time for things you enjoy. Try to inject fun into situations that aren’t particularly enjoyable. Approach life with a playful attitude. When did you last let the child in you come out to play?

          23. Let It Go

          There are some things that you just cannot change, no matter how hard you try. Know when to cut your losses and detach (Just like Elsa does!)

          When you start to let go of your past, these 10 things will happen.

          24. Resist Guilt

          Guilt is a negative emotion that removes peace of mind. Although it can motivate us (in the wrong way), it is still a toxic emotion.

          Challenge the reasons for your guilt to make sure you aren’t placing unnecessary pressure on yourself.

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          25. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

          Focusing on all the things in our lives that we are grateful for promotes peace of mind and reminds us that there are always positives. Sometimes we just have to nudge our awareness.

          Try these 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

          26. See Failure as a Learning Curve

          Failure has such negative connotations, but actually, everyone fails. How can you improve or learn anything if you never fail?

          A healthy attitude towards failure encourages bravery. It’s not you that is the failure, instead it is what you tried that failed. There is a big difference.

          27. Connect with Others

          One of the true joys of life is sharing life with others and knowing that others “get” you. We feel less alone and feeling understood allows a fantastic sense of well-being.

          28. Test Your Limits

          You’ll never know your true potential if you always stay in your comfort zone. As the old saying goes, it is better to look back and regret what you did than regret all those things you wish you’d tried.

          Learn to step out of your comfort zone: 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

          29. Find Positive Outlets for Negative Emotions

          Sports, online forums, like-minded people, hobbies…whatever takes your fancy. Suppressing negative emotions can lead to ill health. Release tension and frustration in a pro social way and feel a whole lot happier.

          30. Slow Down

          Why does everything need to be accomplished today? Often, we place unrealistic pressure on ourselves when there is no need to.

          Challenge your impatience, be mindful and enjoy life in the moment.

          31. Challenge Your “Shoulds” and “Musts”

          Self-induced pressure never leads to inner tranquility or peace of mind. Replace “should” with “could” and live life more on your own terms.

          32. Be Kind

          It’s free and it makes a difference. When we show kindness, it gives us an inner boost, too.

          You can try these 29 Ways to Carry Out Random Acts of Kindness Every Day.

          33. Don’t Compare

          The more we compare, the more we lose ourselves.

          Forget what everyone else is doing or saying. What do YOU want? We all have our own paths to follow, and we are all learning and going through life at our unique pace.

          Focus on your own journey and lose the stress of comparing yourself to what you think is going on in the lives of others. This is a surefire way to eliminate peace of mind.

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          34. Affirmations

          Talk to yourself positively by using affirmations. A good example of one that encourages peace of mind is: “No matter what comes my way, I will find a way to get through it.”

          Believe in yourself and remind yourself regularly that you will be okay.

          Need some more inspirations to affirm yourself? Here’re 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

          35. Save a Little Money as Often as You Can

          Putting money aside is always a good idea. If you can afford to save money regularly, do it. Start up a regular debit each month, and you won’t even realize it’s gone.

          36. Less Is More

          Money buys choice, but it doesn’t buy us the happiness we crave. Be content with the simpler things in life — that’s where the real long-lasting joy and peace of mind comes from.

          37. Perspective

          Always  keep your eye on the bigger picture. Will you feel this way next week, or a year from now? Will your current experience of life seem as important?

          More often than not, you will be just fine. Foster peace of mind by maintaining perspective in life.

          38. Monitor Your Thoughts

          Our thoughts can make or break our quality of life. Make sure to choose thinking that works for you.

          Talk to yourself as you would a best friend. Self-loathing serves no purpose and will undoubtedly extract joy from your life.

          39. Stand up for What You Believe In

          Whether it’s protecting animals or helping those less fortunate than yourself, follow your heart and your passion. Fight the urge to fit in and do what’s expected.

          When you change yourself to suit others, you give away your peace of mind.

          40. Get Enough Sleep

          When we’re tired and grumpy, nothing goes smoothly. Get eight hours of sleep per night and regenerate your body.

          Final Thoughts

          The most important ways to achieve peace of mind involve being true to yourself, accepting that life is uncertain and watching your thinking. Many of us mentally “torture” ourselves daily with the things we tell ourselves.

          Trust your thoughts less, pay less attention to the negative ones and focus on what you are thankful for in life, and you’ll be well on your way to inner peace of mind.

          Featured photo credit: sean Kong via unsplash.com

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