Last Updated on November 26, 2020

10 Important Things to Remember for Intentional Living

10 Important Things to Remember for Intentional Living

They say “what you don’t know can’t hurt you,” but when it comes to your mind, this statement couldn’t be further from the truth. What you don’t know about your mind, what runs it, and how it drives your life can definitely hurt you—probably more than anything else, especially when it comes to intentional living.

As a therapist and former social anxiety sufferer, I know exactly how important it is and how life-changing it can be to start living with intention and take back the reins of your life.

I want to share 10 vital facts that will help you understand your mind so that you can live more intentionally, which really means to live life on your terms according to the beliefs and values that best serve you in the long run.

1. Your Mind and Your Brain Are Two Different Things

“I think, therefore I am.” –Rene Descartes

Rene Descartes made the distinction centuries ago between the mind — the essence of which is thinking—and brain matter, but it’s been a debate among scientists globally ever since.[1]

What we know to be true is that if you were to point to your mind and your brain, you point at the same thing, right?

You can also be dead with a brain, but you can’t be alive without your mind. You can also be dead with a brain, but you can’t be alive without your mind. You are your consciousness, and although scientists are yet to prove its limits, we know that it’s extremely powerful[2]. According to scientists:

“The brain is the physical substance, and the mind is the conscious product of those firing neurons, according to the classic argument. But growing evidence shows that the mind goes far beyond the physical workings of your brain.”

Being aware of the fact that your mind is something that isn’t constrained by your brain—that it’s a container for something much larger and more powerful—is the first step to gaining higher consciousness. Intentional living requires gaining such higher consciousness.

Action: Don’t take your consciousness for granted, and question everything you know to be true.

2. Your Mind Can Physically Change Your Brain

“The time has come for science to confront the serious implications of the fact that directed willed mental activity can clearly and systematically alter brain function.” –Jeffrey Schwartz, The Mind and The Brain

This is what mind over matter means: our mind can control and influence our physical state and change our brain function.[3] Search Google and you’ll find evidence from all over the globe of people healing themselves, surprising doctors, and shaping their realities with focused and willed thoughts.


I have personally experienced the power of changing a deep-rooted fear of public speaking and social interaction. What was once a seriously petrifying notion, where even a thought invoked the “fight or flight” response, is now something I enjoy.

I revisited the painful memories until they weren’t painful. I rationalized the beliefs I had about it and told myself just how much I loved public speaking in public. I gave my mind new pictures to see and proved that if you really will yourself to change, you can. This is an important part of intentional living.

I got up in front of 60 people and did a cross-examination (ex-lawyer here), and I genuinely enjoyed it. It made me realize that achieving your goals is absolutely possible, despite what a lot of people believe.

Action: Think about something you’d like to change in your life. Is it a behavior you wish you didn’t have or a belief that’s holding you back? Writing is a great way to sort through it all, and once you’ve identified them, keep reading.

3. Your Mind Doesn’t Know the Difference Between What Is Real or Imagined

Right now, I want you to imagine that you’re cutting a slice of lemon. See that freshly cut, juicy lemon in your mind right now.

Smell it, and notice that it’s a really juicy one. The acidic juices are dripping as you cut into it. Now, picture yourself biting straight into it. Close your eyes and picture that acidic, fresh juice seeping all through your mouth.

Salivating yet?

This is a simple but effective demonstration of the fact that your thoughts can bring about physical reactions because your mind thinks that you’ve actually eaten a lemon.

Now, think about what your mind is doing when you’re catastrophizing situations, constantly reliving negative events, or picturing the worst things happening. According to Dr. Dispenza’s You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, your mind doesn’t know the difference.

It feels like it’s actually happening so your body reacts the same way. This is how we get burnout, adrenal fatigue from too much cortisol, and a constant state of fight or flight.

“If you want to dream big, you have to dream in great detail.” –Mike Tomlin

When you visualize where you want to be, how you want to feel, the presentation you have to give, or the conversation you want to have in a positive light, your body and mind will act as though it’s happening. Later, it’’ll be primed to do what you mentally rehearsed when the time comes.


Action: Picture what you want, see it often, and see it in great detail.

4. Your Mind Doesn’t Always Know What’s Best

I came across a conflicting belief I had when I was overcoming social anxiety. The issue was that what I wanted to do and what my mind thought it needed to do were two different things.

I wanted to interact with people and feel comfortable speaking in groups, but my mind kept trying to keep me away from what it assumed was going to be a painful experience. This is because it was painful for me as a kid when I was bullied, so my body would go into fight or flight and cause me intense anxiety to help me escape the situation.

My beliefs guided my thoughts, so my thoughts guided my actions, and my actions shaped me into a shy and self-conscious person who wasn’t good at public speaking.

Your mind’s job is to keep you away from harm and pain, but sometimes it’ll make you shy away from the things you really want to do to keep you “safe.”[4] Living an intentional life does not mean being 100% safe. Sometimes, you have to take risks, too.

Action: Look for inconsistencies, things you wish you could do but don’t feel comfortable or able to do, and aim to align yourself through goal setting.

5. It Doesn’t Take Years to Change a Behavior or Belief

The reason “talk therapy” takes a lot longer than we’d like is that communication isn’t happening at the most effective brain wave frequency. It’s your subconscious mind that holds the negative beliefs and habits.

So naturally, when we get onto the same frequency (alpha and theta brain waves[5]), we can communicate more effectively with this part of our mind. It sticks quicker and, when guided, it can give us the answers we can’t access at a conscious level.[6]

Action: Open your mind to subconscious methods of reprogramming, whether it’s a guided recording on YouTube or with a hypnotherapist, and know that you can change without losing years of your life trying.

6. Your Mind Will Believe Negative Things Over Positive Things

If you’ve never heard of the negativity bias, you will no doubt have experienced its effects.

Remember a time where someone said something critical or mean about you. Even though you did several positive things that day, or received more compliments, did you find it was really hard to get that one negative thing out of your head?[7]


Negativity bias can hurt intentional living

    It’s not an exact science, but your mind needs significantly more positives to counter a negative.

    Action: Actively work on reinforcing the positive when you hear negative comments or feel negative thoughts. Know that you can turn it around, but your mind is geared negatively, so you’ve got to practice this skill. Knowing this is key to intentional living.

    7. Your Mind Believes the Things You Tell It

    This one is pretty self-explanatory. If you tell yourself you’re worthless or stupid, your mind will believe that to be true.

    If you tell yourself you love being confident, you feel calm, and you can achieve whatever you want, it will believe that, too (though it will need to hear that more often because of the negativity bias, remember!). That’s why if you want to live intentionally, you have to consider the things you tell yourself.

    Action: Consider the words you say to yourself every day. Decide who you want to be and tell yourself that’s exactly who you are. Watch how you change.

    8. Your Beliefs Are Often Irrational and Harmful

    Did you know that when children experience family violence, their brains have similar patterns of activity as soldiers that have fought in a war?[8]

    If you suffered trauma, bullying, or abuse as a child, the chances are that your subconscious mind formed irrational beliefs before your logical mind developed. If you let them, these beliefs could be running your entire life.[9]

    But when you identify, rationalize, and re-visit these beliefs, you can change them. Unless you revisit these beliefs as an adult, you could risk living your life based on irrelevant things that hurt your younger self.

    Action: Reflect on those tough life moments—the ones that are often hard to think about but the ones that may have shaped you. Work through it with a therapist, or write it all down so you can start to question and rationalize what you believed to be true. Reflection is an important aspect of intentional living.

    9. Your Mind Defaults to What Is Familiar

    We are creatures of habit. We love doing what we know because it’s relatively certain. Uncertainty and unfamiliarity are uncomfortable.

    However, sometimes what is familiar to you isn’t good for you. The familiar eating patterns you have, the negative thought loops you’re stuck in, the self-deprecation, the anxious feelings, the overreactions—all of these things we do out of habit but not necessarily because we want to.

    The good news is that you can make the familiar unfamiliar, but new habits that really stick are those that sit at an identity level (i.e. you can’t beat yourself up for not reaching your goal of losing 10 lbs (an outcome) when you don’t identify with being a fit and healthy person (your identity)).[10] You must identify with what you’re trying to change, or it won’t stick.


    Action: Imagine you could watch yourself throughout the day and notice whether the things you’re doing are because you want to or if you’re doing it because it’s comfortable. Look for clues, particularly if you feel guilty, sad, angry, or annoyed after a thing you eat or say or do.

    10. You Are Not Your Thoughts

    “Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” –Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

    Based on the preceding facts I’ve listed about your mind, you now know that your mind believes what you tell it. It can be physically affected by your thoughts, and it can shape your entire reality.

    If you can notice your thoughts, let them flow in and out, keep the ones that help you, and let go of the ones that don’t, you’ll reach a level of mind control that very few can reach.

    It starts by getting quiet, calm, and doing whatever makes you focused and happy, like running, meditation, walking, or listening to music. This will help guide you toward intentional living

    Action: Become aware of your own negative thought loops and practice letting them go or just noticing them rather than giving in to them, believing them straight away, and reacting.

    Final Thoughts

    I hope these 10 facts help you as much as they have helped me and my clients. These are not guaranteed to make you live intentionally, but they will definitely help you live life on your terms.

    And finally, watch this interview with Antonio Neves to learn more about how to stop living on autopilot:

    Remember, you aren’t responsible for the negative things that you heard or experienced in your life, but you are most definitely responsible for changing them.

    More on Intentional Living

    Featured photo credit: Brad Pearson via


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    Daina Worrall

    Lawyer, C. Hypnotherapist and RTT Therapist - Personal Development & Mental Health

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    What Is Passion and What It Means To Have Passion

    What Is Passion and What It Means To Have Passion

    I like to use the word passion interchangeably with words like determination, conviction, and love. Passion is a strong desire that can get you to do amazing things.

    Passion is an emotion to be acted upon. Without action, passion yields no worthwhile results. Passion is the fuel in the fire of action. When you have passion for something, you love it even when you hate it.

    So what is passion? How do you recognize your passion, and how do you put it to good use?


    What Is Passion?

    A desire fueled by passion will bring about the greatest results in life.

    I like to skateboard, but I don’t have the determination to push myself through broken bones and hospital visits. That’s why I’m not as good as I could be. I don’t have a passion for it.

    Passion can push you through difficult times because you don’t care what it takes to become better. We all have the ability to create whatever kind of life we want. The secret to living the dream is hidden in our passions and what we do because of them.


    How to Know What You’re Passionate About?

    Finding what you are passionate about is a journey in itself. Don’t be frustrated if you don’t feel like you know yet. Keep trying new things. It will come even if you have to build it. If you find your passion, or find yourself hot on its trail, don’t give it up.

    What if you know what you have a passion for but you don’t do anything about it? This is the main problem with passion. You can have all the passion in the world for something but if you never do anything about it, that passion is useless.

    Maybe you work a good job that pays all the bills but it doesn’t allow you to truly follow your passion. You’re afraid of what will happen if you change things up. Yes, change is scary, but it’s not until we leave our comfort zone that we find what we’ve been missing out on.


    You’re the author of your life. Don’t settle for the bare minimum just because it’s working out right now.

    You will never know what you’re truly capable of unless you push yourself.

    But even when you pursue your passion, you will find yourself tripped up by failures and other obstacles. You can’t let that get to you. It happens to everyone on the path of following their passion. Abe Lincoln had a strong passion for building a great country. You think he let a few failures stop him from that? Don’t let obstacles get you down.


    What About Passion for People?

    The idea of passion also applies to people. Don’t fall into the common trap of thinking you love someone and not doing anything about it. Ask yourself, is giving up my pride worth it to maintain a relationship? What about being unselfish and sacrificing your time or comfort? If you can’t do that, it’s probably not real love, or you need to start making changes.

    Often, I think we need to remind ourselves who we love and act accordingly. It’s easy to let family relationships weaken because of pride. Of course, you say you love your family, but when your brother is in the school play, and you hate plays, do you go?

    The same applies to intimate relationships. Do you only love them when it’s easy? Real love takes sacrifice and work. You push through the difficult times because you love them and you understand that every passion pursued will have bumps in the road. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand what it means to have passion for someone. This is why divorce rates are so high and families are often torn apart by hurt feelings and unnecessary drama.


    Following any passion takes vulnerability and work. But I promise in the end, the outcome of such efforts will be the most fulfilling to your life.

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