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Published on August 1, 2019

15 Important Coping Skills to Deal with Stressful Situations

15 Important Coping Skills to Deal with Stressful Situations

Now more than ever, we’re easily overwhelmed in our life. From career and personal growth, to families and maintaining healthy relationships; it seems that finding the right balance to juggle it all is a futile effort.

In an age where technology is advancing rapidly, as are we with it, it can be easy to run on auto-pilot most days. That kind of conditioning catches up with us, when we’re finally burned out and crashing from too many meetings, schedules, and priorities.

Stress washes over us like a tidal wave, and we’re left scrambling to pick ourselves up in the same order as before. What causes even more undue stress in that moment is our tired inability to cope in ways that are healthy and effective, long-term. According to the latest statistics from the American Institute of Stress, the largest portion of caused stress comes from job workload. To that extent, 65% of employees stated that workplace stress was responsible for significant issues, such as eye-strain, difficulty sleeping, and other physical impairments, like carpel tunnel symptoms and low-back sensitivities from sedentary office settings [1].

In such instances, we’re quick to jump to fast solutions, like too much caffeine to keep energized, and poor self-care habits at home, such as lack of motivation to eat healthy or exercise. Our coping mechanisms turn into bandaid-type fixes that don’t teach us how to deal with stress in ways that promote health and well-being, long-term.

The following list recommends coping skills that take us out of our reactive state, and into a mindset that is more aware of our stressors. This awareness is a key step into developing controls that will help you not only deal with stress, but do it in a way that continues to promote healthy habit patterns.

1. Conscious Breathing

When we become stressed, we tend to lose touch with our conscious breathing awareness. In other words, we hold our breath, or fall into shallow breathing. This, in turn, affects the body on a cellular level, and kicks on the sympathetic nervous system, which primes us for reaction. Unfortunately, many of us tend to stay in this reactive state for long periods of time, constantly jumping at or running after tasks, sensations, and more stress.

What’s worse is that consistent shallow breathing not only causes more tension in the jaw, neck, low back, and other body areas; but it also significantly reduces a certain type of white blood cell that is responsible for warding off diseases, infections, and inflammation [2]. Our breath is literally keeping us healthy and alive.

When facing a stressful situation, a good practice is to pause and return to your breathing. Long, deep breaths in and out have shown to promote a sense of calm and re-centering, necessary for returning to the issue at hand with a clearer head.

Ensuring that your breath fills your belly and your lungs is vital in promoting diaphragmatic breathing that will not only ground the body, but also the mind.

Tune into the below video for an animated breathing exercise if you get caught up in a stressful situation:

2. Journaling

Sometimes, we just need to write down our feelings and sensations in the moment, as we’re experiencing them. Journaling has long been a practice many have turned to for its healing benefits.

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Similar to a diary, journaling is a way of writing down our thoughts and getting them out of our head; more importantly, that release is beneficial in cutting off the overthinking cycle of thoughts that keep us disconnected from our bodies and our environment.

You can either keep the journal entry and revisit it later, once the stressors have been resolved; or you can crumple it up, burn it, or tear it up, and notice the surrender in that manner.

Here’s a how-to guide on journaling: Writing Journal for a Better and More Productive Self (The How-To Guide)

3. Exercising

One of the best ways of getting out of our head when dealing with stress is to instead, come into the body.

Exercising is a powerful tool in redirecting our energy into something that is not only healthy for us, but also distracting. Moving the body floods our system with endorphins, which are natural painkillers that help with mood, sleep, and reducing irritability.

Finding the right exercise for you is entirely open to what stressors you’re facing. For example, running is a great option if you’re feeling angry or pent-up with frustration. On the other hand, yoga could be a beneficial suggestion if you’re feeling lethargic and tense, and need some grounding, re-energizing, or relaxing.[3]

Here’s a nice demonstration on stress-relieving Qigong exercises:

4. Meditation

Sitting down in silence might not sound like your idea of managing stress, but so much of our stress stems from the thoughts that we have in our mind. Naturally, it would make sense to tackle that stress head on, all pun intended.

Meditation can be done anywhere and anytime, and all that’s required is a set number of minutes to simply close your eyes and tune into your breathing. There are many apps that offer guided meditation sessions for anyone who is a beginner or just needs support on their meditation journey.

Apps such as Headspace and Insight Timer offer free guided sessions from meditation teachers all over the world.

You can also take a look at this Guided Morning Meditation for Beginners (That Will Change Your Day).

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5. Technology Disconnect

Everything we do is powered by the Internet, so much so, that without it, we often feel uneasy and disconnected. Ironically, too much of social media or checking work emails while at home is disconnecting us from ourselves.

Consider taking tech-breaks throughout your day, whether it’s taking a 30-minute lunch break without your phone, or going home from work and unplugging. Use the free time to do what brings you most joy in that moment – maybe a cup of tea outside!

Or try these 5 Simple Ways to Unplug and Be More Mindful In Your Life.

6. Think This, Not That

This is a powerful practice and skill to develop that will rewire your brain and the thinking patterns we often fall prisoner to in stressful situations.

How many times have you gotten upset at something and made the situation worse by going down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts? Most of us!

By becoming aware of these negative thought patterns as they come up, we can instead, choose better ones. Positivity and coping skills are a practice ingrained over time, and it comes from choosing better thoughts and patterns from the stressful ones we’re used to.

Watch Mel Robbins’ video below as she explains this concept, and gives simple tips on implementing this in your life:

7. Simplify Your Morning Routine

So many of us want to get as much done as possible in any given day. It’s natural to want to cross every item off of our to-do list, but not doing so often causes us more stress and worry, and for what?

Simplifying your morning routine gives you more headspace to prioritize tasks in a way that doesn’t feel crowded and overwhelming.

Try preparing kids’ lunches (or your own) the night before, or laying out your clothes or work items before you head to bed. In the morning, sit down with a list of things to do that you can write down, instead of trying to remember everything as the day unfolds.

Starting your day off in a way that works for you will help you manage stressors better: 15 Ways to Simplify your Morning Routine and Have a Great Morning

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8. Affirmations and Mantras

Mantras are words or phrases that are repeated often to bring about concentration, focus, and present moment awareness.[4] When you’re faced with a stressful situation, reminding yourself of this word or phrase can bring you back to a sense of grounding and peace, so that you can re-approach the problem with a new sense of clarity.

Here’re 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

9. Getting More Sleep

Our society is notorious in celebrating work done on meager hours of sleep. We’ve come to idolize people and their abilities in being able to pull all-nighters and complete their work with little to no rest. Unfortunately, this is also creating more stress in our life.

Getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night is crucial in setting up a foundation of effective and healthy performance the next day. Not only will we wake up brighter, happier, more rested and ready to take on the day; but our cognitive abilities will be restored to deal with any stressors in ways that are healthy, safe, and effective.

10. Eat Wholesome, Balanced Meals

When we’re under stress, we tend to go for fast food that is readily available, but not necessarily healthy. So much of what we eat contributes to how we feel, and in turn, how we control the rest of our day, stressors included.

Ultra-processed foods that are high in sugar and fats not only affect our mood, but our gut, as well. When the balance between good and bad gut bacteria is off, inflammation is quick to follow, as are a slew of gut-related diseases.[5]

We can’t stave off stress on a system that’s deprived of healthy nutrients, which is more of a reason why balancing your plate with enough dark-leafed vegetables, nuts, healthy fats, and protein is a must. Learn How to Find a Healthy Eating Plan That Actually Works for You.

Also, don’t forget the water!

11. Be Assertive Instead of Aggressive

Stressful situations can expound frustration, and leave us feeling more aggressive than we’d like to be. Maybe we snap at our colleagues or family members, or lose our cool at the meeting or in an argument. These instances can leave a mark that is often difficult to reverse, once the stressors die down.

Learning how to be assertive instead of aggressive is a fine-line balance, and one that can help you speak your truth and get your point across, all the while keeping emotions in check and under control.

12. Know What To Control and What to Release

By nature, we like to control outcomes, situations, and sometimes, others. In stressful situations, pawning after that desire to control can often give us more hardship than we’d like.

Knowing when to let go of a situation, conflict, or person can be a powerful practice in alleviating that stress. It can also benefit you in being able to distinguish when and how to release what no longer brings you reward, joy, or purpose.

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We’re not meant to control everything, and accepting that can be a truly liberating experience.

13. Open Up to a Friend, Colleague, or Family Member

We’ve all heard the phrase, “no man is an island.” That’s even more true when we’re going through a hard time. Often, we like to isolate and face our struggles head-on, only emerging after we’ve resolved the problem and come out victorious.

However, there is support and vulnerability in opening up to someone you trust. It allows you to put down your burden, not for anyone else to fix, but to simply quit carrying it around in silence.

Opening up that channel of communication and confession also puts you in a beautiful position to receive feedback and perspectives that you might not have considered before.

14. Learn to Say No

There are simply not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything we want to do, let alone to take on more from others who invite us, ask us, or suggest to us.

Learning when and how to say no can vastly release the burdens of needing to meet other people’s expectations. It can also open you up to focusing on your own tasks and priorities, which may decrease in size once you cut out the tasks you’ve taken on from others.

15. Make Time for Fun

Even though stress comes from many things and in many different shapes, it also stems from our lack of incorporating fun into our lives. By doing this, you can cut the stressors at the core, distracting yourself from what pains you to connect to something that brings you joy!

Think of activities or hobbies that you haven’t done in a while, or have always wanted to try. Make it a priority to schedule this activity soon, and then go and enjoy it fully! Notice how you feel when you give yourself permission to play.

Final Thoughts

Stress is a part of life. With so much to juggle in any given day, we’re aligned to meet stressors around every corner.

How we react to them, however, is entirely in our control. There are coping skills that we can practice that will put us in a better position to deal with stressful situations that keep our health and well-being prioritized and strong for years to come.

More About Coping with Stress

Featured photo credit: Jacob Sedlacek via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: Workplace Stress
[2] Headspace: How Shallow Breathing Affects Your Whole Body
[3] Mayo Clinic: Exercise and Stress: Get Moving to Manage Stress
[4] The Chopra Center: What is a Mantra?
[5] Harvard Health Publishing: Gut Feelings: How Food Affects Your Mood

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Aleksandra Slijepcevic

Accredited and Certified Vinyasa Yoga Teacher writing for Health & Fitness

How to Relieve Stress: 9 Quick Relaxation Techniques 15 Simple Habits to Boost Your Emotional Health 15 Important Coping Skills to Deal with Stressful Situations 15-Minute Morning Yoga Routine for Beginners Can You Stop Depression from Damaging Your Brain?

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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