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Last Updated on December 17, 2020

How to Get Motivation Back on Track When You’re Feeling Like a Failure

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How to Get Motivation Back on Track When You’re Feeling Like a Failure

Earlier this year, I had moved to Bali in search of the inspiration and motivation I had lost years ago. It got to the point where the needle within me no longer moved and that ambitious girl with a long curated bucket list was no longer to be found. So, I talked to my mentor – my father, and with every encouragement, he told me to set my sights high and if all else fails, there are a thousand more other ventures to embark on. I then set off and moved to Bali in hopes to find that motivated girl I once knew.

Six months into my nomadic journey, I noticed I still had no fuel and instead fell in a deeper hole of failures – a long list of rejected jobs, a pool of credit card debt, and an unclear vision for what I wanted to build for myself.

That all changed the night I received a phone call that changed my entire life. My father had unexpectedly passed away and out of thin air that fire within me had begun to burn.

There are two feelings that every one of us can relate to – the euphoric feeling of success and the discouraging feeling of failure. We continuously go through these motions of experiencing limitless possibilities that propel us with more energy, more drive, and more motivation. Then we have those moments where we dip deeply in our doubts that every ounce of effort to swim back up seemingly weighs us down even more.

The truth is, there is a fire in all of us and there always has been. Becoming too fixated on our failures can make it hard to find that fire or even believe that a fire exists – but it does.

In order to find that fire again, you must first re-shift that focus. So here’s how to get motivation back on track when you’re feeling like a failure:

1. Change your focus

Notice how I mentioned my credit card debt, unclear vision, and a long list of rejected jobs, there? That’s all I was focusing on.

Now it’s time to check in and ask yourself, what are you really focusing on?

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  • Is it a number of missed opportunities you wished you had taken?
  • Is it a string of moments and events that didn’t bring you happiness?
  • Is it a project that resulted in a way you didn’t expect after putting in much dedicated hours and hard work?

Sometimes, we get caught up in this cycle of how to’s rather than the do’s – which is more of a distraction than a motivation.

Other times, we don’t even notice how much focus we’re putting in one particular part of our journey or project without taking a few steps back to see the overall picture.

Most times, we focus on our failures and why we haven’t reached that goal versus looking at all the baby steps that matter – and they matter.

As the saying goes,“one step forward, two steps back.” Life’s unforeseen and even predicted circumstances will always put you two steps back. It isn’t to discourage you on your journey, but instead is giving you an opportunity to take a look at how far you have come and to admire how much more you have to go.

It’s about self-assessing and asking yourself what is working for you. It’s also about taking a breather.

See, what I did there? I just re-shifted the focus.

2. Listen to your inner needle

There’s an inner needle within all of us, which we may either not pay much attention to.

There’s much truth to the saying, “you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others,” but here’s the irony – sometimes the motivation lies behind the person you are motivated by.

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Whether it be your hard-working mom who worked two jobs to put food on the table for you while you were growing up, the restaurant busboy who saves his tips in order to put himself through flight school, or your boss who navigates through million dollar contracts with confidence and character, there is a particular reason why that specific person moves that needle within you – it’s an admired quality they carry.

Listen to that needle and find those qualities within yourself and believe they truly exist.

In order to do this, try putting yourself in the shoes of someone you admire.

For an example, the restaurant busboy putting himself through flight school. He’s working a part-time job while saving enough money to attend flight school because he wants to fly the huge aircrafts that he watches from his rooftop everyday. He doesn’t come from a well to do family and lives in a small town without the accessibility to flight schools and proper training programs.

What motivates him to work those two jobs? It’s the dream. What motivates the dream? It’s to build something for himself and to return home in uniform to make his mother proud. The motivation here is his mother, and this is what motivated my father to leave the small island of Guam in order to pursue his dream of becoming a pilot and fly the Boeing 747 aircraft around the world.

Sometimes it helps to look beyond who motivates you, but instead why.

3. Find your “why”

After my father’s death, I had found my “why” and that is to live with intention – the intention to live a colorful life for the both of us.

With every new day is a new canvas, a new 24 hours, a reset button.

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Deciding on your “why” is the first step to regaining motivation, but acting on your why is what gets the ball rolling.

Tomorrow provides to be a new startover, and by acting on your why today, it will bring you something you did not have yesterday and that is confidence.

When you’re in a place when you’re unmotivated and stuck, confidence is gold. Confidence gets you out of bed and with that confidence you have the mindset to conquer.

4. Reach out to your mentor

Mentors play a huge role in your personal and professional growth. They are individuals – with no limits to the number of mentors one can have– who are there to give you advice and also support you during setbacks.

A mentor is a support system to help motivate you when you feel like a failure and believe in you more than you probably believe in yourself. You can count on them to ask the most powerful and hard-hitting questions with no room for you to run from yourself.

When you’re feeling stuck or failing in life, reach out to that person who’s willing to show you that mirror into your internal self and allow them to guide you back.

To help you find a suitable mentor, these things are what to look for in a good mentor.

5. Defy gravity

Everyone has come across a period in their lives when they lose that momentum. It happens.

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Have you noticed how much energy it takes letting a ball fall to the ground compared to throwing it up in the air? There’s more resistance throwing something compared to letting it free fall – consider that your thoughts.

When certain events in our lives knock us off course, the doubts, negativity, and ideas of failure can drown us quicker and faster than it takes to turn those thoughts back around. These negative thoughts can easily turn into a habit of only pointing out everything you have done wrong versus pointing out everything you have done right.

This is a mirror to our efforts.

Losing motivation happens to everyone, and it’s no hidden secret that the ladder to success or the climb to our place of peace is as simple. By picking out the small things to be grateful, happy, and excited about, the swim back up to the surface gets easier.

Final Thoughts

There’s no perfect remedy or magical switch that can instantly bring those feelings of motivation back into our lives. For some people, it takes something traumatic to occur to reignite that fire; whereas for others, it takes reconnecting to the things and people who ground them.

Keep in mind that your defintion of failure can also be limited to your own beliefs and what you would consider it to be. As humans, it’s natural to be hard on ourselves, but self-compassion also means being a friend to ourselves.

Just remember:

  • Taking two steps back isn’t considered a failure, it’s an observation.
  • Reaching out to others isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s self-growth.
  • Losing motivation doesn’t mean you’re off track, it’s a temporary standstill.

Life comes in waves and although it may feel like you’re sinking under, know that what goes down will eventually make its way back to the top.

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Featured photo credit: Max Brown via unsplash.com

More by this author

Akina Chargualaf

Akina Chargualaf is an entrepreneur, writer, and the content creator of travel and personal development blog Finding Fifth.

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Last Updated on November 22, 2021

20 All-Time Best Motivational Books to Inspire You

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20 All-Time Best Motivational Books to Inspire You

Sometimes going through life can be a little bit of a roller coaster. There are many ups and just as many downs as we journey through the high and low points.

Life becomes a little simpler when you accept that as we pursue our goals, there will inevitably be challenges and barriers along the way. This is why a few extra sources of inspiration, such as motivational books, never hurt anyone.

The following motivational books were selected because they can fulfill this need for you. These books will challenge you to question your current perspectives and grow in unexpected ways.

The following motivational books will provide you with a source of inspiration great enough to light your internal fire!

1. Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Fankl

    Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s discusses in-depth his experience with living in Nazi death camps and describes the lessons it taught him about spiritual survival. Frankl puts forth a convincing argument that avoiding suffering isn’t realistic. However, through choosing how we cope with that suffering and the meaning we ascribe to it, we retain the ability to move forward with renewed purpose.

    This certainly is a book for the generations that anyone can gain value from. Man’s Search for Meaning has been listed as one of the most influential books in America and has currently sold over 10 million copies in twenty-four languages.

    If you’re looking for motivational books that can help you learn about the value of ascribing meaning to suffering, this is one for you!

    Get the book here!

    2. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

      Of all the motivational books out there, this is a must-read for those who are into life design.

      Through this book, Jen provides her readers with simple exercises to help people identify their self-limiting beliefs, attitudes, and habits. She provides some great advice and does so in a humorous way to truly captivate her audience and motivate them to begin achieving the success they want from their lives.

      Jen’s goal is to help her readers truly understand why they have developed certain thought and behavior patterns. She helps us to focus on the things that we can change and accept the things which we cannot.

      Overall, the book offers a new comical approach towards inspiring and motivating its audiences, and can be enjoyed by anyone who decides to pick it up.

      Get the book here!

      3. Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World by William H. McRaven

        If you want to change the world, start by making your bed.

        Make Your Bed is a book which outlines the lessons contained in a speech given by Admiral William H. McRaven. In this speech, he shared the 10 principles he learned during Navy Seal training that helped him overcome the various challenges he faced throughout his career.

        This speech went viral, gaining over 10 million views as it clearly explained how anyone can use these lessons to better both themselves and the world around them. This book recounts tales from his service and offers simple and practical wisdom and words of advice and encouragement which will inspire readers to achieve more in their daily lives!

        Get the book here!

        4. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

          The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is a wonderful story about an inspiring journey towards self-discovery. Mysticism and wisdom combine in this classic novel that has sold millions of copies worldwide.

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          This story outlines the journey of a young shepherd boy who desires to travel the world in search of treasure but ends up discovering a vastly different type of riches than he initially imagined.

          Overall, this book encourages each of us to listen to our hearts, recognize our unique opportunities in life, and pursue our passions.

          Get the book here!

          5. Smarter, Faster, Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg

            Charles Duhigg’s Smarter, Faster, Better outlines 8 productivity concepts that help certain companies and individuals accomplish so much more than others. This book outlines the differences between the perspectives of some of the worlds top performers and those who are less successful.

            These productivity concepts explain how everyday people can improve their everyday lives. Overall, this book can help anyone learn how to succeed and ensure that their average day is productive and not just busy.

            Get the book here!

            6. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

              Don Miguel Ruiz uses his book The Four Agreements to reveal the limiting beliefs that we commonly hold which rob us of joy and cause us to endure needless suffering. This book provides an insightful code of conduct which imparts its wisdom in an accessible manner to its readers.

              The Four Agreements encourages self-reflection and encourages us to do better within our everyday lives. This is why the book has sold over 6 million copies in the U.S. alone and has been a New York Times bestseller for over 8 years.

              Get the book here!

              7. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

                In this book, psychologist Angela Duckworth, takes her readers on a journey to argue that the secret to being a success relies largely on an individual’s grit, a unique blend of passion and persistence.

                The insights offered by Duckworth in this book encourage us to never underestimate the power of consistent, long-term action towards a goal, especially when you’re passionate about it.

                Duckworth addresses the thoughts which commonly intrude into our heads when we fail and gives us methods to combat them.

                If the idea that success is about your perseverance and your ability to persist even when times get tough resonates with you, this is one of the motivational books for you.

                Get the book here!

                8. Mindset: the New Psychology for Success by Carol S. Dweck

                  Psychologist Carol Dweck outlines years of research in her book Mindset. She argues that the mindset we adopt is a huge predictor of our success and achievement. She believes that nearly every area of human endeavor can be influenced by the mindset we adopt and how we select to approach our goals.

                  She discusses the downsides of adopting a fixed mindset as well as the benefits commonly associated with adopting a growth-oriented mindset. Whereas one mindset believes our abilities are fixed, the other believes our skills and abilities can be developed assuming we are willing to put in the effort.

                  This is a highly motivating paradigm shift which can encourage amazing accomplishments.

                  Get the book here!

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                  9. Choose Yourself by James Altucher

                    Choose Yourself by James Altucher is one of the best motivational books around. James argues that the most valuable asset we have and the one which we should be investing the most time, effort, and resources into is — ourselves. This whole book is about how we can achieve success simply by choosing to invest in ourselves and our growth.

                    This book is sure to inspire and motivate you to invest in developing your talents further and would be an excellent resource for anyone with an entrepreneurial mindset.

                    Get the book here!

                    10. High-Hanging Fruit: Build Something Great by Going Where No One Else Will by Mark Rampolla

                      High-hanging Fruit by Mark Rampolla encourages us to reach higher in our life endeavors, especially business if we want to achieve more success and leave our mark on the world.

                      In this novel, the reader is encouraged to find ways to align their passion, purpose, and integrity to achieve success. These lessons can benefit anyone in any field of work and encourage us to stand up for our beliefs and what’s important to us.

                      Overall, Rampolla wants each of us to remain true to our ore values so that we can each reach our personal definitions of success and promote significant changes in areas of life we are passionate about.

                      Get the book here!

                      11. The Power of Positive Thinking: 10 Traits for Maximum Results by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

                        This international bestseller has sold over 5 million copies worldwide and has helped many people live more fulfilling lives through adopting Dr. Peale’s message of faith and inspiration.

                        Not only does this book help people to achieve happiness and higher levels of life-satisfaction, but it also teaches us that each life is worthwhile.

                        This book instills a belief in one’s self and a feeling of determination and motivation to pursue our goals with power, control, and persistence.

                        Overall, it’s a great motivational book for those individuals seeking a boost of motivation in their daily lives.

                        Get the book here!

                        12. Girl Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

                          When it comes to motivational books, Rachel Hollis nails it!

                          Girl, Stop Apologizing was written primarily for a female audience she was trying to inspire. She wrote this book because all too often, she was seeing women failing to live up to their full potential due to the fear of falling short of perfection and not being enough.

                          In this New York Times #1 bestselling author, Rachel seeks to send a wake-up call to the women currently defining themselves through the lens established by other individuals, instead of how they wish to define themselves.

                          She encourages women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams and to begin fully pursuing them. To help her audience she provides a lot of great information regarding which excuses we should say goodbye to, which habits to adopt, and the skills that will provide you with the confidence to live your best life!

                          Get the book here!

                          13. Now, Discover Your Strengths By Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton

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                            This book takes a unique approach, claiming that not anyone can become anything they want, despite what we were told as children. However, when discussed in-depth, the opinion is quite freeing.

                            This book’s main purpose is to encourage us to ignore those routes which are likely to lead us to dead ends, in favor of pursuing those which we are passionate about and that are more likely to bring us greater success and happiness.

                            Why waste so much time trying to fix our weaknesses when we can double-down on our strengths and allow them to flourish and grow?

                            Definitely think about adding this one to your collection of motivational books.

                            Get the book here!

                            14. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

                              This book, originally published in 1937, was written during the Great Depression and addresses the highly effective and important steps to take if we wish to encourage ourselves to become wealthy. Equally important, Hill outlines the steps we should avoid in this process as well.

                              Readers have continually enjoyed some of the timeless information, words of wisdom, and excellent advice that is presented by Hill in this book. This book is about so much more than getting rich; it’s about figuring out how to get what you want from life!

                              Get the book here!

                              15. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson

                                In this self-help guide, Mark Manson tells us to cut it out and to stop trying to be positive all the time so that we can figure out what we need to do to truly become better and happier people.

                                This book offers a refreshing take which counters the motivational books currently out there. Mark refuses to sugarcoat his lessons and tells it how it is through his brutally honest approach. Mark encourages us to accept our faults and limitations, the fact that life is not always fair, and that despite our best efforts, not everybody is going to win.

                                Overall, this book presents some great philosophical wisdom for our modern generation and has empowered many individuals to gain control over their actions and their life as a whole.

                                Get the book here!

                                16. Everything Is F*cked by Mark Manson

                                  Mark Manson follows his previous #1 international bestseller with this guide discussing the problems we currently have surrounding hope.

                                  Despite believing that we live in the best time in human history, Mark outlines that everything seems to be pretty messed up. There is global warming, corrupt governments, collapsing economies, and everyone is getting offended far too easily. Mark examines our relationships with money, entertainment, and the internet, and discusses that too much of these good things can destroy us.

                                  In this book, Mark challenges us to be more open and honest with ourselves and to connect more with the world around us.

                                  Get the book here!

                                  17. Hustle: The Power to Charge Your Life with Money, Meaning, and Momentum by Neil Patel

                                    Hustle offers a game-changing guide to finding success by encouraging us to outsmart the system. Too many of us feel like we’re fighting a system that’s stacked against us and forcing us to live unfulfilling lives. This book will encourage you to break free from the rat-race and begin achieving more success on your terms through projects you actually enjoy!

                                    This book will help you redefine what hustling means and will help you realize your best path to success is through taking charge of your dreams, creating your own luck, and staying true to yourself.

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                                    If you’re looking for actionable and practical advice that goes beyond simply motivating you, this is a book you will certainly enjoy reading.

                                    Get the book here!

                                    18. Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

                                      This book presents a refreshing take on self-empowerment and provides an honest, no-nonsense, tough-love guide which aims to help you challenge and get over your self-limiting beliefs

                                      In this book, Bishop gives you the tools and advice required to overcome your self-imposed limitations and to begin creating your unrestrained best-self. He argues that commonly, it isn’t other people standing in our way nor is it our circumstances. Commonly, it’s our negative mindsets and beliefs which are holding us back.

                                      So if you’re looking for motivational books to help you get over these limiting beliefs, you will not regret investing in this novel.

                                      Get the book here!

                                      19. The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins

                                        In The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins reminds us of the vast amount of support we have received from individuals throughout our lives; and that this should push and motivate us to overcome the excuses we have created to impede our progress and achievement.

                                        Through discussing a variety of different habits and entertaining stories, Mel Robbins argues that it only takes us about 5 seconds to become confident, stop procrastination, overcome fear, and live overall happier lifestyles. Just like we can all hold ourselves back, we can also push ourselves forward.

                                        This is a motivational book that is great for anyone looking to quickly add a positive push to their daily life.

                                        Get the book here!

                                        20. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

                                          This novel which shared the wisdom Mitch Albom received from his college professor Morrie Schwartz, has sold over 12 million copies around the world.

                                          In this book, Mitch joins Morrie through the final months of his dying professor’s life every Tuesday to discuss the important messages of life in a truly beautiful and heartwarming fashion.

                                          In the end, the two come together to create one final class: lessons on how to live a good life.

                                          This book is going to inevitably touch your heart and inspire you in ways many other motivational books could never even dream of doing.

                                          Get this book here!

                                          Final Thoughts

                                          If you are able to pick up even just 2 or 3 of these motivational books, you will be well on your way to living a more inspired life.

                                          Happy reading and stay motivated!

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                                          Featured photo credit: Florencia Viadana via unsplash.com

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