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What an MBTI Personality Test Can Reveal About Your Relationships

What an MBTI Personality Test Can Reveal About Your Relationships

The MBTI Personality Test is an attempt by psychologists to categorize different personality types. The Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personal inventory that is meant to make the theory of psychological types described by Carl Jung understandable and accessible to people’s lives.[1]

But did you know that you can actually use this data to improve your relationships?

In this article we will describe the MBTI Personality Test, discuss what the different personality types mean, and talk about how you can use your personality type to improve the quality of your relationships.

What is the MBTI Personality Test?

The MBTI Personality Test is a short test (about 93 questions) that should only take about ten to fifteen minutes to complete.  A free version of the test can be found here. The official test can be taken here, but be aware that it will cost you $50.

The test consists of questions that ask you your preferences about how you interact with people and the world. There are four main personality types measured by the test: introversion vs. extroversion, sensing vs. intuition, thinking vs. feeling, and judging vs. perceiving.

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When you are finished the test, it places you into a category for each preference. Your personality type, then, is a four letter combo (i.e. INFJ). The web has lots of information for each personality type.

Meaning of different personality types

There are 16 different personality types (according to the test).[2] The frequency of each type varies, but it looks like the most common types are ISFJ and ESFJ.[3]

Each personality type has its own description, but each letter represents a different aspect of your personality. Here are what each of the letters stand for and what they mean:

  • Introvert (I) vs. Extrovert (E). An introvert is someone who finds social interactions to be emotionally draining. If you’re the type of person who needs some alone time to recharge after a party or social gathering, then you are most likely an introvert. An extrovert, on the other hand, finds social interaction to be emotionally fulfilling and they find themselves charged up by social interaction. (NOTE: Nothing about introversion or extroversion suggests you like or dislike social interaction, despite common misconceptions.)
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N). Sensors focus on the present. They perceive things through the five senses and see everything as concrete, realistic, and literal. Intuitive people live in the future. They process information through patterns and impressions and see things as abstract, idealistic, and theoretical.
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F). Thinking people are objective. They make decisions based on facts and are logical, rational, and impersonal. Feeling people are subjective. They make decisions based on principles and values and are passionate, empathetic, and caring of others.
  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P). Judging people think sequentially. They value order and organization and are decisive, organized, and structured. Perceiving people are adaptive and flexible. They are spontaneous and random thinkers and are adaptable and flexible.

It’s also important to note that many of these personality traits exist on a sliding scale. This means that you might at some point in your life be on one side of the scale and, at other points in your life, on the other side of the scale. Your personality changes through time and experience.

How to improve relationships with the MBTI Personality Test

When looking for relationships, I often recommend three things: know yourself, love yourself, and be yourself.

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1. Know yourself

This is where the MBTI Personality Test is useful. Take the test for yourself and figure out what personality type you are. Remember, this isn’t a “set it and forget it” kind of thing.

Your personality can change in very subtle ways over the years. So, take it more than once.

2. Love yourself

Once you know your personality type, you can become more aware of who you really are.

One of the hardest things we can do for ourselves is treat ourselves with the same kindness and respect as we treat others.

How can you ever expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself?

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3. Be yourself

This is the most common dating advice, and people have been giving it for as long as there have been relationships.

The benefit of being who you really are is that you will attract people to you who are compatible with you. When it comes to dating, compatibility is a lot more solid than compromise.

Don’t compromise who you are just to be with someone.

What do you value most in a relationship?

It’s hard to summarize a person with just a word, but each of the Meyers-Briggs personality types has a single quality that they value more than others. Here is a list of the personality types and the traits they value most:[4]

  • ISTJ: Dedication
  • ISFJ: Safety
  • ESFJ: Enthusiasm
  • ESTJ: Teamwork
  • ISFP: Freedom
  • ISTP: Friendship
  • ESFP: Passion
  • ESTP: Choice
  • ENFP: Encouragement
  • INFJ: Soulmates
  • INFP: Acceptance
  • ENFJ: Support
  • INTP: Intellect
  • ENTJ: Excellence
  • ENTP: Autonomy
  • INTJ: Vision

Bottom line

Remember that this is an approximation based on psychology and other various personality traits. There are no surefire ways to make sure that you wind up in the right relationship.

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However, using the MBTI Personality Test is a great way to see how compatible you are with people.

If you are one personality type, you might find the value on the list that you think you’d be most compatible with. Look at all of the other types on the list to see which value stands out the most to you as something you’d like to have in a relationship.

For example, if you are an INTJ and value vision, you might also value Enthusiasm. So, an ESFJ personality type might be most compatible with you.

At the end of the day, this is mostly just a guide. At the very least you can get an idea for what personality type you have and discover a few things about yourself in the process.

Featured photo credit: Andrik Langfield via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

James Leatherman

The founder of Happymindsets.com and is passionate about personal growth, psychology, philosophy and science

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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