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Last Updated on November 25, 2019

How to Jump on the Road To Success Today

How to Jump on the Road To Success Today

It was like being hit in the head with a sledge hammer as she turned the corner expecting a clear street dotted with tall trees and bird song, her face had a look of utter shock and horror, how could this have happened? How could she find herself here?

When you are someone that works hard to get what you want in life, how can it be that you find yourself on the wrong road? How can you tell you are on the wrong road and what can you do about it?

The person above was a recent client, although to be fair it could be anyone of thousands who I’ve helped in one way or another who suddenly as they divulge their inner most thoughts, feelings and desires realises with acute horror that this is the wrong road.

That realization that they had been working incredibly hard and it is going to get them no nearer their goals and ambitions. The person above had come to me to look at how they could work their way up their career ladder while growing their own business.

And the reason for the smack in the head the opposite of a Eureka moment was because they’d realized they’d spent the last 2 years working tirelessly, long days, with determination and passion on a goal that they didn’t really want.

Often you find that people are working in a direction thinking it will lead them to what they want when in actual fact they are getting no closer to the things that really matter like happiness, health, fun and time.

Let’s look at how you can identify the wrong road, what you can do to get off of it and how you can get yourself working in the direction you really want so you can have a life that makes you feel genuinely happy, successful and full of life.

So what are the signs that you are on the wrong road?

  • Your bank balance looks healthy and yet it fills you with no joy.
  • Your schedule is booked with new business and yet you dread the thought of every meeting and every minute of work.
  • You get home at the end of the day dispirited and wishing you were on holiday.
  • You can’t get the idea out of your head that other people have better lives.
  • You lean heavily on the wrong things in life – box sets, alcohol, gym fixes, chocolate or spending sprees to feel good.
  • You procrastinate even when deadlines loom and don’t feel a lot of guilt if you miss deadlines or make mistakes.
  • Your face smiles and says “I’m fine” when people ask you how you feel and yet your heart and mind can’t register your smile or any satisfaction in the conversation.

These (and many more) are all signs that life is not working for you, that you don’t feel like you are on the road to success; rather the road to purgatory, endlessly destined to feel negative emotions and like you need a good holiday far away from here.

So, how to jump on the road to success?

I want to take you on a metaphorical journey, share with you some ideas I know work (because they’ve helped so many of my clients) and some routes to success from my clients about the kind of results you too could get if you are ready to jump on the road to success today.

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1. Plan Your Journey

    Sometimes we can be too close to the problem to create solutions.

    Have you ever noticed you are a genius at fixing other people’s life dilemmas and yet you lay awake thinking “What the hell do I do now?” or “How do I get out of this? Or “How do I get where I want to go?”

    A good idea can be to pull away from what you are looking to achieve and think in a more metaphorical way. When we stay too close to our problems and in our own heads, it can be hard to think clearly. That is often because our minds get bogged down with the negative emotions that our mind is happy to play out like any series of Friends that is on a loop somewhere in the world.

    Our brains love to finish things for us; find yourself thinking 1 + 1? It’s hard not to conclude “2”. Therefore when you want to find a new road to success first of all stop travelling down this one for a moment to assess where you are and where you thought you were aiming to go.

    You wouldn’t get in the car and drive from Alaska to Argentina without some preparation, would you? (My friend is about to do this very journey on a motorbike and the planning has taken nearly a year!)

    Consider your own journey and can you say you put in the effort to appreciate:

    • Where are you going?
    • Are you prepared?
    • Have you planned your route?

    Think about a long journey and the things you would load up into your car. Food, water, good music, a phone, GPS, or map? What else would you take with you?

    A journey planned is far more likely to reach its destination. Don’t think of your own ambitions or goals in life (remember we can be too close to our problems to work out the best course of action) imagine a road trip and the items you would deem essential, now add what you would feel would make the journey more enjoyable?

    Now bring yourself back to the issues that you feel are in your way, did you really plan for this trip properly? What do you need to add or do to help you get where you want to go?

    2. Choose the Right Transport

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      Would you jump on the highway on a 3 year olds tricycle? No? Why not?

      It will move you forward, it has wheels, what’s the issue? Obvious right, it clearly is the wrong tool for the job. It would be dangerous, you could physically get squashed and it could take you an awful long time!

      A perfect example is the client who was looking to take on a big challenge and they’d made the mistake of treating their friends and family like their mentor or coach. A real mentor or coach is only on your agenda, that is tough for a family member or friend to do without a lot of training. The minute this client realized that these people had an vested interest and didn’t want this person to get hurt, they could see they needed a new coach.

      One that would listen, challenge and enable them to go for what they really wanted. Tools for the journey come in many guises, metaphorical and physical, would you say you are using the right ones?

      3. Don’t Follow Everyone Else

        If you get lost, you might find you can see everyone else taking the turning up ahead and think to yourself “that must be the best way to go.” And before you know it, you are on a country lane in the middle of nowhere!

        If you have planned what you want, you then need to stick to it. Just because other people are going in different directions that doesn’t mean it is right for you. It is so important to know who you are.

        I think one of the most powerful things I do with clients is enable them to appreciate the science of being who they are, knowing what matters to them, what makes them excited, passionate, angry, determined. If you don’t know your own values, desires and passions in life, it can be all too easy to find yourself heading down someone else’s definition of success.

        Another sign that you are following other people’s roads to success is that you are easily convinced to try something new. Trying new things is good for you and your success, however they are detrimental to your success if you can’t honestly justify that they fit into your own agenda and life plans.

        4. Stay in the Same Lane

          Have you ever been stuck in a traffic jam and found yourself switching from one lane to the other, only to discover that the new lane seems to be the slow lane and the one you were in is now faster?

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          Infuriating isn’t it?

          A study by The University of Toronto researchers Dr Donald Redelmeier and Dr Robert Tibshirani found that cars that constantly switch lanes actually spend more time being passed by other vehicles than they would overtaking them. And probably find themselves a lot more stressed by the journey too.

          Sometimes you have to accept that the route to success is going to have a slow day and stick with it. On those days it is worth checking you are doing the best you can and are on the right track.

          Are you working in the best possible way? Could it be more beneficial to slow down and take the time to research ideas or further your knowledge (something you can always do in the car on a long journey with a podcast) so that your patience is rewarded with a broader knowledge to achieve your success.

          Don’t be tempted to divert from where you want to go, a slow day is still getting you nearer your success.

          Remember sticking to your own path that is right for you will not always feel easy. Sometimes it is the people that dared to think differently and act differently that change the world. Your own path is far more likely to help you be one of the disrupters, innovators, and thought leaders.

          A slower day can also be a great opportunity to ask yourself these questions:

          • What can I visualize coming up ahead?
          • What obstacles may I find in the future?
          • What plans do I have to deal with those obstacles?
          • What have I just been through that I know has helped me to get to this stage?
          • What have I journeyed though that I can replicate in the future?

          Understanding the science of being you, what works, how you naturally deal with obstacles can be massively empowering and motivating.

          5. Swap Lanes

            “Whoa Mandie, you just told us to stay in the same lane. Now you are telling us to swap, make up your mind!” I hear you complain.

            Hear me out.

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            I’ve seen clients belligerently carrying on with a plan of action and slogging their guts out on stupidly long hours and they look completely emotionally destroyed and like they will never get what they want. I remember one client who was stacked with new clients, business was booming and they were great at their job, but they hated every minute of it.

            It was really tough to admit that this was not what they wanted after all. They clung on for dear life to a perception of reality that didn’t exist and was causing a lot of stress and even the risk of burnout. By accepting how much they hated their job, they were able to change lanes.

            The assumption had been that they’d “been lucky” and couldn’t replicate that level of success again, that their partner would be frustrated and annoyed with them; breaking down the barriers to honesty and enabling them to see what they really wanted and needed to have the guts to do literally changed their whole life.

            They even discovered the constant stomach troubles that plagued them disappeared too. That was a bonus they’d not expected! It takes guts to change lane and realise you were going the wrong way, don’t be hard on yourself and go it alone, who will you lean on to ensure you know you are doing the right thing and can help you to achieve it?

            6. Know That Floods Will Be Ahead

              Whether you are facing a road block, a diversion, blizzards or storms. On the journey to success, no one gets a clear ride all the time.

              I know someone that lost their premises and they were devastated. They had put so much time, effort, money and life into their big ambition only to lose the premises that would bring it all beautifully to life.

              As we worked together, you could see that that was so huge to them they could easily have given up and be knocked into a path of action that would never make them happy. Here’s what we did to help them keep going (and for the record they are now in far more awesome premises and one of the leading distributors for their company in the country!)

              1. Is this really what you want?
              2. What have you learned from this situation?
              3. What could you do? (Make this a massive long list of options, don’t narrow down to time restrictions, financial consideration, health implications or even skill set. At this stage, write every possible idea down for your brain to process and play with.)
              4. What do I know I can do to move forward?
              5. Who do I need to rely on?
              6. Who is my positivity and results vampire? (You know the person that says things like “I told you it wouldn’t work” and “it’s probably for the best” and “Maybe it just was never to be.” Keep negativity out of your life, it won’t help you.
              7. What is my plan of action?
              8. How will I know it is working?
              9. What time scale am I working to?

              Pick Your Road and Go for It

              I hope our metaphorical journey has helped you to visualize what you wish to achieve and given you some easy to action tools to make it happen. It does take confidence to go for it and find your true road to success; however, don’t turn out like the person that it took 7 years to come and see me.

              They’d considered it on numerous occasions and they’d always found a reason to keep plodding on hoping things would miraculously improve, it cost them their home, their marriage and their health before they really felt the pain and decided to re-write their future.

              Remember that no matter what road you wish to take in life, it is yours for the choosing. And if you don’t choose one, life has a way of throwing you on a road and you never know where you may end up!

              More About Achieving Success

              Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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              Mandie Holgate

              Coach, International BEST Selling Author, Speaker & Blogger helping thousands around the world.

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              Published on August 5, 2020

              7 Tips for Overcoming Challenges in Life Like a Pro

              7 Tips for Overcoming Challenges in Life Like a Pro

              Life is all about the continuous effort required for overcoming challenges. Every day brings forth new hurdles, and you always have to be on guard to dodge these hurdles if you wish to live a relatively smooth, successful life.

              The consistent motivation required for overcoming difficulties in life can be easily lost, even by the most successful people. It can be difficult to dig deep and find the courage to face challenges, but once you do, that strength never leaves.

              If you feel like giving up, you’ve come to the right place. The 7 tips you’ll find today will give you the right boost of energy to continue your push against your daily struggles!

              1. Shift Your Perspective

              Every challenging situation, right off the bat, affects your perspective first.

              Let’s say, this morning you woke up to an email from your boss that said that you have to work through the weekend. You had planned to meet your friends after months this weekend. Of course, you’ll instantly start to feel angry and sad.

              Next, you open the fridge to make some eggs for breakfast, but the eggs have gone bad. You’re also out of cereal. Later on in the day, you have to go out grocery shopping, but your favorite, most comfortable jeans are dirty. Although this inconvenience is minor, it could possibly be the last straw.

              Apparently, your entire day has gone in the wrong direction. However, the real issue is not that minor challenges got to you back-to-back. Instead, it’s your perspective.

              From the moment you read the email, you put a negative twist on everything. Since then, everything was perceived as a bigger problem than it actually was. You already knew that you were out of cereal. You also probably knew that the eggs would go bad by this day.

              Despite that, your negative mindset made your overreact.

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              Make it a habit to never let negativity take over. No, you shouldn’t force yourself to be positive but at least try to focus your negative energy on the real challenge. Ignore the minor inconveniences like you would on a good day.

              If you let your energy go to waste on such small matters, you’ll be drained of energy before you even begin to figure out how to overcome your challenges.

              2. Learn From Someone Who Has Been There

              If it gives you comfort, then you should know that you’re not the only one going through this issue. Someone out there is going through similar circumstances, and possibly even worse.

              Similarly, there’s someone out there who has been through the same challenge but was able to get out of it unharmed.

              There are millions of people in similar circumstances. You may know at least one such individual who has gone through a similar issue. It could be a celebrity, someone from your neighborhood, a member from your extended family, or anyone from anywhere.

              This person’s experience is a source of motivation, as well as a guide, to get through your challenge. Overcoming challenges can be as easy as observing the people around you in the long term.

              If you can’t think of anyone who has tackled the problem already, it’s alright. You’ll know of someone who, if ever faced with a similar situation, could walk through it without an issue. Maybe that’s because this person has enough money to buy their solution, or they have the physical and mental ability to find a way out.

              Whatever the case, try to follow the same footsteps. Come up with alternatives to suit your circumstances. As long as you have an example to see, you’ll have the strong will to continue in the same direction. A real-life example is the best motivation to continue the fight against your life’s hurdles.

              Similarly bring to mind a challenge you have overcome already. Once you realize you’ve done it once, you’ll have the inspiration to do it again.

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              3. Don’t Shy Away From Help

              You came into this world alone, and you’ll leave alone. Yet, every human depends on others for their survival between these two points of existence. Even the strongest economies in the world are interdependent. It’s only natural to expect an emotionally or physically strained person like you to seek help as well.

              If you aren’t capable of pulling yourself out of the tough situation, go ahead and seek out support or help. A third party will likely be able to offer a perspective you hadn’t seen.

              Having someone to support you through your tough time is great. The best scenario is if they have the expertise to get you over the hurdle. Even if that’s not the case, the emotional support is more than enough to keep you going in tough times.

              They may also be able to present examples of challenges you have overcome to motivate you to overcome whatever you’re facing now.

              4. Figure out a Solution

              There’s a solution to almost every problem you’ll face as you seek success in life.

              No matter how big of a mountain you think has come in front of you, it won’t kill you. You can reach its top with the small steps you take every day.

              If you’re thinking of ways of overcoming challenges, you’re already on the right track. Only with a mind that wants to overcome an issue can you actually do it. So, start thinking of all possible and impossible solutions to your problem.

              For example, if you’re currently going through a financial problem, some solutions include shifting to a better-paid job, working more than one job, taking out a loan, winning the lottery, robbing a bank, and the list goes on. By simply acknowledging that there are so many solutions to your problem, half your worries will be eradicated.

              The next step is, of course, to work on a realistic solution. Once you’re figured out the most feasible route for yourself, you need to start taking baby steps towards it.

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              Let’s say you decided to change your job. You’ll start by looking out for career choices that pay well and are also relevant to your skills and experience. Next, you’ll apply to places that have open vacancies, and so on.

              With a focused goal, you won’t lose your sense of direction amid all the hindrances.

              5. Compartmentalize

              Do you know what pulls people down during a tough time? It’s not that one challenge, but the fact that this one challenge overshadows everything and makes it difficult to overcome life challenges along the way.

              An issue in your career reflects on your behavior with your partner, keeps you from hanging out with your friends, strains your motivation to stay fit, and basically harms every other aspect of your life. All of this is because that one challenge is all that’s on your mind. You’re unable to distract your brain to think of other things.

              This behavior is harmful not just to you, but also to those around you. Keep the challenges of your life restricted. If they take over, you won’t be able to overcome them. To solve one problem, you need to continue to live normally in other parts so that you don’t lose your strength.

              How do you overcome challenges?

              Learn to compartmentalize so that your brain is trained to keep the good things away from the negative[1]. With an organized mind, you can conquer any challenge that comes to you.

              6. Focus on the Bigger Picture

              There are many quotes about overcoming challenges, but one that rings particularly true is this:

              One closed door opens another.

              One hurdle may seem like a full stop, but it may be exactly what you need to reach a final goal.

              Imagine the prettiest landscape; a land full of peace, serenity, natural beauty, a starry sky, and everything nice that you can think of. If you know that the final destination is worth it, you won’t mind the narrow path that you’ll have to walk on to get to it.

              Similarly, if you can shift your focus to the bigger picture, the minor challenges won’t seem to be an issue. Instead, you’ll make the most of them by learning from every challenging second. Going through a hard time can bring you many benefits if you have the right point of view[2].

              7. Help Others

              In the end, despite your challenges, be ready to offer help to others.

              You will be contributing to the cycle of help while also learning a great deal from their way of tackling a life issue. Moreover, offering a helping hand ensures you’ve got someone you can rely on during your tough times, too.

              The Takeaway

              Overcoming challenges in life requires a balanced way of tackling the problem without letting it affect healthy parts of your life. It not only requires physical effort, but also mental strength.

              The 7 tips you learned today are a good balance between both. They keep you mentally strong so that you can give your maximum physically. Altogether, you can put up a strong fight against the hardest challenges. No obstacle can stop you from living your life to the fullest.

              All you’ve got to do now is stay determined and push yourself by implementing these tips in your life. Then, notice yourself looking forward to new challenges instead of dreading them!

              More Tips for Overcoming Challenges in Life

              Featured photo credit: Jonathan Chng via unsplash.com

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