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How Can You Transform Your Hulk Anger Into Something Good?

How Can You Transform Your Hulk Anger Into Something Good?

No one likes an angry person yet it’s such a common feeling within all of us. Losing your cool and being described as having a ‘short fuse’ usually just means you’re unable to contain the negative feelings triggered inside you.

This kind of energy is deemed negative because it creates bad feelings inside of other people who are at the brunt of the anger and even cause the angry person to feel badly about themselves and the world around them.

But can this negative energy be used for good? Does it always have to be interpreted as a failing quality that affects people in a damaging way?

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    The Positivity Within The Emotion of Anger

    Anger is found in most animals capable of emotions which indicates that there is some evolutionary reason why we are able to feel this emotion in the first place.

    This reason is survival. Our job is to react to situations effectively in order to survive and if we feel threatened, attacked, frustrated or powerless we need to let the pack know to back off or stop what’s happening.

    But anger could play another important role in our lives. Researchers Jennifer Lerner and Dacher Keltner, studied the effect of anger and fear on risk-taking individuals and found that anger gives you the same outlook towards risk as happiness. What does this mean? An angry person has an optimistic view towards risk estimates. They are more inclined towards taking risks which effectively means you can use this inherent inclination to change your bad habits and adopt good ones, according to author and researcher, Dr. Marcia Reynolds.

    The Secret to Using Anger in a Positive Way

    Reynolds goes on to explain that, “the skill is to shift the focus of your anger away from external circumstances to instead focus on what you strongly desire to change within yourself. It is not your flaky boss or overwhelming responsibilities that make you scream at strangers while you drive. You should be angry that it has taken so long for you to realise that you have the power to change your circumstances. Use your anger to initiate the positive shifts you need to change your life.”

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    So how can we use anger positively and change our internal world and our perception of the external?

    Identifying Your Rage is the First Step

    Being mindful of when you step into these angry feelings may seem hard but doing this in the moment is training you in positive self-awareness. It may not seem much but it’s an inner strength that will get stronger the more you use it. This inner strength will serve you throughout your life so in effect you are developing emotional tools that can help you relax. Learning to take yourself away from the situation and use breathing techniques to recover will help in many other stressful situations you encounter later on.

    Use Anger to Learn Productive Conflict

    Anger is usually synonymous with arguments. If you find you’re quite attacking when you’re in angry, argumentative mode then it means you have an opportunity to practice more self-awareness. Techniques such as slowing down your speech, pausing and breathing, and lowering your voice can all help your mind calm down in the moment. You may even find the other person mimics you in order to relax the situation.

    It’s also an opportunity to consider the other person and why they may have their point of view and do this without judgement. Perhaps they haven’t understood what you’ve said or they also aren’t being mindful of how you feel in the angry moment. These moments are a wonderful opportunity for self-development, self-awareness and empathy.

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    Use Angry Energy For Motivation

    Anger is an essential emotion because it allows us to process negative feelings and eventually let go of a situation in our lives. When the anger is all-consuming and lingering, this is when it can be damaging to our well-being.

    Channelling negative energy into something positive is the best way of coping with that feeling of rage. Physical activity is the best way to do this as anger causes our body to speed up. If you need to improve performance in anything physical such as running, swimming or any other performance sport, doing this in a more angry state will help improve personal bests.

    The good thing about anger, especially if it’s performance related, is you can choose to use it to fuel your desire to perform rather than focus on mistakes. It can even help channel effective brainstorming and solutions. This way you are taking away the negative energy directed at the feeling of anger and focusing it more on a positive solution.

    Use Anger as an Opportunity to Grow

    Anger may be a problem but know that it’s an essential part of being human and our emotional recovery. If you find you get triggered very easily it means you’ve integrated it more into your being than is necessary. But this doesn’t have to be bad. Truly see this an an opportunity to learn about yourself and your capabilities. Realise that it’s an opportunity to make a habit of drawing on your inner strength, create solutions to problems, understand others better and even motivate you performance-wise.

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    Anger doesn’t have to be so negative. Let it teach you to grow.

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      Anna Chui

      Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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      Last Updated on May 7, 2019

      How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

      How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

      Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

      The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

      The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

      Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

      People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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        They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

        Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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            1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
            2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
            3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
            4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
            5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

            How to Spot a Wolf

              Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

              Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

              A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

              A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

              Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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              Ask Questions, the More the Better

              There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

              When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

              Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

              They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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              Wolves Are Everywhere

              As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

              Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

              Reference

              [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
              [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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