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Can You Survive Living Under The Same Roof With 3 Other Generations?

Can You Survive Living Under The Same Roof With 3 Other Generations?

Imagine living in a patriarchal society where it is neither odd nor peculiar for generations of blood families to reside together in one space. Where the entire family including the first, second, third and even the fourth generations still live under a single roof, and it is pretty reasonable. A society where women, unlike men, are constantly pestered to prove themselves, keep their husbands and the entire family happy amid physical abuse that’s normal.

Family life isn’t all fun, and in a place where women are expected to be paupers to their families, happiness can be hard to come by, as depicted by “My Happy Family.” If you are getting married soon, please spare some two hours and watch it!

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When the head of the household quits 

We’re in an archetypical Georgian society where a woman needs to keep her mouth shut and her eyes dry, keep sacrificing for the sake of her family and accept it as a norm. On a calm evening of her 52nd birthday at her three-bedroom family home in Tbilisi, Manana unpredictably announces to her family that she was quitting her 30-year-old matrimony. Determined to be free, live happily and away from a cramped house, she packs and leaves.

Her 55-year-old husband Soso, her mom Lamara (72), father Otar (80), her two kids – daughter Nino (24) and son Lasha (20), Nino’s clandestine husband Vakho (27), are all left aghast, but don’t take her seriously. What follows later gives the title “My Happy Family” a somewhat ironical meaning amid the prickly harmony that merger mundanely with profundity.

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Caged bird set free

It doesn’t long to realize the mockery of the title “My Happy Family” given the sad, gloomy atmosphere inside the cramped and multigenerational flat. Manana is a pinball, bouncing off one demanding relative to the next, only finding love and respite in school. Her husband throws a birthday bash and invites a couple of his friends because her tradition requires that any occasion is worth partying, but she’s disinterested.

It is a story of a woman taking back her life, tired of being “caged” and would prefer to have a cake in peace than a party without love. The whole family is only alarmed when she leaves. But the big question as the film plays is whether she’s better off on her own, away from the dull, problematic family.

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The plight of women and their freedom

“Yes,” she’s better off alone. Or, “Yes, but No” going by the situation back at home – her husband and two kids are concerned. Rezo and Co. conspire to interfere with her “vacation” and steal away her newly found happiness and freedom. “My Happy Family’s” final stages herald an explicitly existential, emotional scene that highlights the plight of women, her decision to pursue love, peace and freedom and the society’s fight against women’s emancipation.

Sadness is grounded on Manana’s experience, what the directing duo of Nana Ekvtimishvili and Simon Gross perfectly capture. The movie’s directors seemingly lean on a melancholic side and get sadder as it grows, though it isn’t punctured with ennui. Incredibly, it is the same Romanian cinematographer Tudor Vladimir Panduru who did “Graduation” that makes “My Happy Family” this “lovely.”

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Many of 2017’s movies featured female protagonists and much like “My Happy Family,” most of them left a decent performance. You’ll not feel tired watching this 2-hour piece, safe for the anti-climactic finale that falls short.

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Brian Lee

Chief of Product Management at Lifehack

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Last Updated on July 14, 2020

How to Get Deep Sleep in 5 Steps Naturally

How to Get Deep Sleep in 5 Steps Naturally

Why do we need sleep so much? Deep sleep is a blissful state of consciousness and our best beauty treatment. Can we learn how to get deep sleep? Of course!

Many of us have problems of getting quality sleep because of various reasons. The most common sleep disorder is insomnia[1]. Millions of people around the world suffer from insomnia.

Ultimately, deep sleep plays a crucial role for the quality of life we live.

From a biological perspective, a good night’s sleep is important for building a stronger immune system against infections, heart disease, and numerous of other illnesses. It rids our body of exhaustion and pain, frees our mind from any sorrow or worry, and may even prevent diseases like dementia and Alzheimer’s[2].

The Wisdom of Deep Sleep

If you’re wondering how to get deep sleep naturally, keep reading. Sleep is a mental phenomenon. Its subtlety and complexity, especially when it comes to deep sleep, is of a spiritual, metaphysical nature; however, it is impacted by various external factors.

These factors are the physiological and psycho-social aspects of our life that play a main role in sleep disorders. By not exploring the nature of deep sleep and neglecting the physiological and psycho-social aspects of our life, we can create negative habits that cause a vicious cycle that leads to poor sleep.

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Deep sleep is explored and practiced in one of the most concise and most important texts of Indian philosophy, the Mandukya Upanishad. The wisdom in this mystic text is quite compressed and might be ungraspable at the beginning, but it offers the answers on deep sleep and the other three levels of consciousness.

I’ve been exploring this subject matter for over seven years and have discovered that, apart from the physiological and psycho-social prep work for going to sleep, a certain sense of spirituality and a recognition of the ego is necessary.

What Stops Deep Sleep?

The cause of sleeping disorders is most probably going to lead us to the fact of fragmenting the life of “one-self” in two entities:

  1. The social identity = me as individual (Ego)
  2. The external world = as not-me

Deep sleep is determined by behavioral influences. If there is no disruption in the circadian rhythm (sleeping during night and being awake during the day) or environmental factors (quiet, dark, rather cool sleeping room), then the question arises: why do I have problems with my sleep? Is there any mental disharmony (dissatisfaction, anxiety, stress, or depression) within me, that prevents me from enjoying deep sleep? If you want to learn how to get deep sleep, it’s important to answer these questions first.

To naturally transgress from the wakeful state of consciousness to the deep sleep state of consciousness, we need to develop a sleep ritual to ease us into deep sleep.

How to Get Deep Sleep Naturally

Try incorporating these five steps into your routine to prepare your body for deep sleep. By experimenting with each of these steps, you’ll find what does and doesn’t work for you and your consciousness.

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1. Shower at the End of the Day

This is a good way to calm down mentally and to feel comfortable and clean in your skin. If you have no possibility to take a shower, than wash your face and teeth properly. Enjoy this step and start slowly retreating from the day. Make this one of your last physical activities for the day.

Express gratitude that you’re able to retreat peacefully, wherever you are and whoever you’re with. Stop talking, verbally as well as mentally.

2. Shut Down the Mental Chatter

Decide not to think about anything that concerns tomorrow, yesterday or today. Your highest priority is sleep.

Your smartphone and the rest of the gadgets should be switched off, your kids should be tucked in, and everything should be set to hibernation mode. In case something happens and takes you out of this step, step 3 below is the technique to be applied.

3. Soothing Exercises

There are several relaxation techniques you can do to sooth your body before sleep. Stretch your spine by pulling up your arms above your head. Let your breathing lead the body movement in order to relieve tension in your muscles. Gently rotate your pelvis, making circles to the left then to the right. Do this for at least 3-5 minutes.

For another 3-5 minutes, stretch your mandibular muscles by gently opening and closing the jaw. Massage your head, neck, and jaw muscles, gently circulating with your hands. This will relieve this whole area of tension and prepare your body to fall asleep easier and quicker. Again, let your breathing lead the movement of your hands.

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4. Deep Breathing

If you try nothing else before going to sleep, at least give this a go. Slow, controlled breathing can reduce your heart rate, lower stress hormones[3], and relax your muscles, all of which are essential in preparing your body for deep sleep.

Simply pay attention to your breath and breath gently, slowly and deeply. Following the flow of your breath will break down the process of thinking.

This conscious, deep breathing technique is the only natural way to stabilize your heart rate, your body temperature, and calm/cease your mental fluctuations. As a result, the nervous system soothes and stabilizes the production of hormones.

All these factors take you more effectively and more efficiently to the so called N3 stage of NREM sleep:  deep sleep.

5. Meditation

Continuous, conscious deep breathing leads you automatically to a meditative state of mind in which all bodily functions are balanced and prepared to regenerate in sleep. Do the following meditation practice:

Consciously generate thoughts about how your breathing pattern will take you from this wakeful state of consciousness to deep sleep in a peaceful way. Meditate on yourself as a pure being that has no form or name. This is quite abstract, but so is deep sleep. In the state of deep sleep, there is no body, no mind, and no experiencer. So, let your “self” be carried into deep sleep by not analyzing how it’s done.

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When the state of deep sleep has transgressed to the state of wakefulness, the concept of the social identity acknowledges the experience of nothingness.

Once you’ve gained expertise in this step, you will never have problems falling asleep, given that your circadian rhythm and environmental factors remain in tact.

Final Thoughts

Many people have their own specific sleep-ritual approach that involves physiological, psycho-social and spiritual aspects. The bottom line is that, if you want to know how to get deep sleep, you must find a way to silence your mind to the extent where no concepts, ideas, or beliefs can influence your wakeful state of consciousness.

Take this sleep-ritual approach and allow yourself to put everything aside in order to effortlessly and carelessly transgress into deep sleep.

Pay respect to the power of your intelligence that keeps your body healthy every single day, enabling you to enjoy the wonders of life, of which the biggest one is you.

Let go of your dilemmas and look deep inside yourself, where the infinite silence of deep sleep resides.

More Tips on How to Get Deep Sleep

Featured photo credit: Gregory Pappas via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] American Sleep Association: Insomnia: Symptoms, Causes & Treatment
[2] National Institute of Health: Sleep deprivation increases Alzheimer’s protein
[3] Neurological Science: The role of deep breathing on stress

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