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Can You Survive Living Under The Same Roof With 3 Other Generations?

Can You Survive Living Under The Same Roof With 3 Other Generations?

Imagine living in a patriarchal society where it is neither odd nor peculiar for generations of blood families to reside together in one space. Where the entire family including the first, second, third and even the fourth generations still live under a single roof, and it is pretty reasonable. A society where women, unlike men, are constantly pestered to prove themselves, keep their husbands and the entire family happy amid physical abuse that’s normal.

Family life isn’t all fun, and in a place where women are expected to be paupers to their families, happiness can be hard to come by, as depicted by “My Happy Family.” If you are getting married soon, please spare some two hours and watch it!

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When the head of the household quits 

We’re in an archetypical Georgian society where a woman needs to keep her mouth shut and her eyes dry, keep sacrificing for the sake of her family and accept it as a norm. On a calm evening of her 52nd birthday at her three-bedroom family home in Tbilisi, Manana unpredictably announces to her family that she was quitting her 30-year-old matrimony. Determined to be free, live happily and away from a cramped house, she packs and leaves.

Her 55-year-old husband Soso, her mom Lamara (72), father Otar (80), her two kids – daughter Nino (24) and son Lasha (20), Nino’s clandestine husband Vakho (27), are all left aghast, but don’t take her seriously. What follows later gives the title “My Happy Family” a somewhat ironical meaning amid the prickly harmony that merger mundanely with profundity.

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Caged bird set free

It doesn’t long to realize the mockery of the title “My Happy Family” given the sad, gloomy atmosphere inside the cramped and multigenerational flat. Manana is a pinball, bouncing off one demanding relative to the next, only finding love and respite in school. Her husband throws a birthday bash and invites a couple of his friends because her tradition requires that any occasion is worth partying, but she’s disinterested.

It is a story of a woman taking back her life, tired of being “caged” and would prefer to have a cake in peace than a party without love. The whole family is only alarmed when she leaves. But the big question as the film plays is whether she’s better off on her own, away from the dull, problematic family.

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The plight of women and their freedom

“Yes,” she’s better off alone. Or, “Yes, but No” going by the situation back at home – her husband and two kids are concerned. Rezo and Co. conspire to interfere with her “vacation” and steal away her newly found happiness and freedom. “My Happy Family’s” final stages herald an explicitly existential, emotional scene that highlights the plight of women, her decision to pursue love, peace and freedom and the society’s fight against women’s emancipation.

Sadness is grounded on Manana’s experience, what the directing duo of Nana Ekvtimishvili and Simon Gross perfectly capture. The movie’s directors seemingly lean on a melancholic side and get sadder as it grows, though it isn’t punctured with ennui. Incredibly, it is the same Romanian cinematographer Tudor Vladimir Panduru who did “Graduation” that makes “My Happy Family” this “lovely.”

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Many of 2017’s movies featured female protagonists and much like “My Happy Family,” most of them left a decent performance. You’ll not feel tired watching this 2-hour piece, safe for the anti-climactic finale that falls short.

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Brian Lee

Chief of Product Management at Lifehack

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Last Updated on July 4, 2019

7 Signs You’re Burnt Out and How to Bounce Back

7 Signs You’re Burnt Out and How to Bounce Back

Has the possibility of becoming burned out ever came across your radar?

Burn out can happen to any of us. It can happen as a direct result of a toxic work environment or it can creep up on us as we pour all of our energy into doing the work that we love. Either way, when signs of burnout become apparent, they tend to look the same. Furthermore, adjustments must be made to reverse burnout and to prevent it again in the future.

Behaviors and habits that can lead to burnout include staying up long nights working on projects, saying yes to every request or opportunity, taking on extra work from co workers, and decreasing connections with your family and friends outside of work.

Outside forces such as ineffective leadership, unclear expectations, toxic work culture, persistent high workload, and no room for growth can all add to burn out.

When signs of burn out set in, you slowly start to do things differently. There’s a chance you may not even realize what is happening.

Keep in my mind that burn out may mimic other conditions such as depression or anxiety disorder. Please see your trusted health care provider to rule out any of these conditions.

Keep reading for some key signs of burnout:

1. Poor Performance and Loss of Self Confidence

Noticeable declines in work performance and confidence in your ability to complete previously mastered assignments are signs of burnout.

The pace of the work environment can seem faster and more demanding than ever. The goal of you doing world-class work may diminished to hopes of you barely getting by. You may have decided that staring into space or searching for a new job seems like a better alternative to working.

Poor work performance can become a routine and often leaves the person wondering how did this become a problem in the first place. You may even think that your boss will call you out on your performance sooner than later.

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How to Bounce Back:

Think back to the motivation you had when you were hired or when you were getting your job done with ease. Think about your thoughts and actions that allow you to perform well. The ability to perform at or around this level is still within reach.

Make a plan to eliminate distractions at work. Also, prior to coming to work make sure you are well rested and are eliminating energy-draining interactions.

2. Pessimism

Talking about the amazing work you do has given way to negative talk. Constantly complaining over small tasks that didn’t bother you in the past is a sign of pessimism. Your co -workers may even point out that you have been increasingly negative with your communication lately.

Your outlook on life, especially work, is in the dumps. It is harder to find positive things to say.

How to Bounce Back:

Even in the midst of burnout, your time should be spent on forward-moving thoughts.

Change the way you are looking at your current situation. Your body will do everything in its power to make sure that your actions are in alignment with your mindset and thoughts.

Therefore, thoughts that are negative and self-defeating will need to undergo a productive reframe. A high level of awareness must be initiated. Self coaching yourself through negative thinking can be the first step in awareness.

When you catch yourself having negative thoughts, first ask yourself “How does this make me feel?” Then, decide if those feelings will push you closer towards your goals and priorities or keep you from taking action.

If your thoughts are not forward moving, ask yourself what does thinking and feeling the opposite of this look like? It may seem awkward at first, but keep at it until positive thoughts are at the forefront of your thinking once again.

3. Feeling Unfulfilled

Sometimes, the workplace is known for being a fast pace, high-stress environment. Feeling like you’re part of the team and your contributions matter to your team can really help increase your level of fulfillment.

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We all have things we’re good at or interested in. When our talents and strengths are highlighted in an environment, we will thrive as we get things done.

When we are constantly left out of vital conversations, we will feel irrelevant and as if things are happening to us and not on behalf of us.

How to Bounce Back:

Talk to the person in charge and discuss your concerns. Confiding in a trusted and knowledgeable co-worker prior to meeting with your boss will help to make your communication with your boss fair and objective.

Set goals and deadlines with your boss or team leader to help increase your fulfillment. Follow up with your plan of action on your goals.

Keep in mind that there will be some level of compromise but making your boss aware of your viewpoint and feelings is a major step in feeling fulfilled and feeling like a contributing member of your team.

4. Poor Sleep Quality

Staying up late at night, tossing and turning, thinking about your day’s work can really affect your sleep quality. Studies have shown that just a few hours of missed sleep is detrimental to our performance and mental capacity.[1]

How to Bounce Back:

Try setting a bedtime routine and stick to it. Make sure that your bedroom environment is supportive of a good night sleep.

Social media never sleeps and it’s best to cut back or eliminate your social media time about 1 hour before you go to bed. Blue light interferes with your ability to feel sleepy and messes with your sleep cycle.[2] Your electronics can be set to switch to a softer light prior to bedtime.

5. Dread

The thought of work sends you into a tailspin of negative thoughts and body sensations. You wonder will this ever end and the amount of tension in your neck is at an all-time high.

The feeling of dread can make you retreat from your daily activities to ruminate on the idea of returning to work. Feelings of dread steals valuable time.

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How to Bounce Back:

Develop a routine to relax and practice deep breathing.

Consider a small breathing exercise that you can practice at work if dread or overwhelm creeps in. Go into an empty room or the bathroom, close your eyes, and take 10 big deep breaths. Control your breathing as you inhale and fully exhale. Notice what time of the day you are needing to step away to take breath and start scheduling your routines.

Neck massages at bedtime or therapeutic massages may also help to relax your body and prepare you for the work week ahead. Keep in mind that self care is a necessity.

6. You Lash out More

You notice that you are short tempered and lash out at your loved ones more than usual. When you are experiencing burn out, you may find yourself less patient about certain things and snapping at your loved ones.

You know they don’t deserve this treatment and you want to get this behavior in check so that you can restore the loving supportive environment you are used to having.

How to Bounce Back:

Be aware that your loved ones may not understand how your work environment is affecting you.

Consider how you would feel if you were the recipient of irritable interactions when you didn’t have the whole picture of what was happening.

Take time to explain your situation with your support system. Also, seek services through your work or independently in order to preserve the relationships within your support system.

Your love ones are there to support you. They should not be the expert to get your thoughts and feelings in check- neither should they be expected to fulfill this role.

7. Exhaustion

Does the phrase this job is “sucking the life out of me” ring a bell? Mental exhaustion is totally apparent when work has taken its toll on you.

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Being too tired to do simple house chores or attend events that you once loved is a sign of exhaustion.

How to Bounce Back:

Set small goals to take action daily on your priorities. If your priorities include keeping a clean living area or hanging out with your friends once a week, stick to your plans.

You will find that your mood is improved and you are not as drained once you are doing things in alignment with your goals and priorities.

The Bottom Line

Burn out can creep up on you. It can be caused by personal behaviors, habits, or toxic work environments. Regardless of the factors that lead to burnout, the signs of burnout are the same.

Awareness is the first step of knowing what is happening. The next step is taking action based on the specific signs you are displaying.

Recovery from burnout may look like identifying the culprit that caused you to burn out so that you can continue making progress in your work.

Recovery can also require you to make a strategic exit from your current situation to restore your peace of mind and fully recover—and never look back.

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Featured photo credit: Niklas Hamann via unsplash.com

Reference

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