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You Will Be So Fly After Reading These 5 Books On How To Smooth Talk

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You Will Be So Fly After Reading These 5 Books On How To Smooth Talk

Admit it. We like people to buy into our ideas and beliefs. We like to know that we are right and when others agree, it validates your value and intelligence. We constantly persuade people intentionally and unintentionally. Sales people persuade others to buy; marketers persuade audiences to like; you persuade your boss to give you a raise. There is no way we can deny that persuasion is the modern killing-skill to play in anyone’s career. Yet there are some who seem to have this skill mastered a lot better than others. Fortunately, we have curated a selection of books for you to step up your persuasion game and take what is yours.

To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others by Daniel H. Pink

    According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, every day more than fifteen million people earn their keep by persuading someone else to make a purchase. This book is about human behaviour, motivation, and about how EVERYONE “sells”.

    To Sell Is Human reveals the new ABCs of moving others (it’s no longer “Always about Closing”), and explains why extraverts don’t make the best salespeople. Pink gives practical frameworks and theories to closing the deal. The book is incredibly informative, and is recommended for everyone who has a job or even any kind of relationship with that involves some form of persuasion.

    Reading duration: 3hrs 51mins

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    Get To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others from Amazon at $12.87

    Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

      What is a sticky idea? It is an idea that is so impressive the audience can remember and adopt. In the book Made to Stick, the authors offer six principles to developing a sticky idea. Readers are encouraged to think about a big idea and test with these six principles that include simplicity, unexpectedness, concreteness, credibility, emotions and stories.

      The book itself adopted the principles, providing a lot of stories (examples) from the non-profit sector, how these organisations work hard to spread the message across, including examples of charities which used the mother-Teresa effect.

      Reading duration: 4hrs 7mins

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      Get Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die from Amazon at $14.31

      Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive by Noah J. Goldstein, Robert B. Cialdini, Steve J. Martin

        Small changes can make a big difference in your powers of persuasion. While we believe human communication is a form of social science, the book tries to decipher human persuasion with science and provide us with practical tricks to be more persuasive.

        The authors pointed out researchers who studied persuasion have uncovered a series of hidden rules for moving people in your direction. Here is the sneak peek to some of his principles to persuasive expressions – Reciprocation (mirroring what others do can increase liking); and scarcity, we all know the effect of the “Last piece” on all shopaholics. The book offers more of these useful scientific findings that are easily applicable to the daily conversation and even in a business setting.

        Reading duration: 3hrs 52mins

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        Get Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive from Amazon at $5.76

        Ogilvy on Advertising by David Ogilvy

          This cannot be a persuasive booklist without a slight touch from the advertising giant David Ogilvy. Although this read was written decades ago and contains information that may be considered outdated (especially since advertising has been evolving and with the emergence of the internet), a lot of it is still sound and relevant. Examples in the books are all classic, well-known advertisements/campaigns, including the Got Milk campaign.

          Advertising is the industry of persuasion, and we certainly can take away a lot of tips from this billion revenue industry to apply to our business persuasion.

          Reading duration: 3hrs 10mins

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          Get Ogilvy on Advertising from Amazon at $21.47

          Contagious: Why Things Catch On by Jonah Berger

            Contagious is the book to look for if you need an alternative to traditional advertisements. Berger offers insights into the most powerful free promotion ever – word of mouth.

            Why do people talk about certain products and ideas more than others? Why are some stories and rumours more infectious? And what makes online content go viral?

            The award-winning read combines real business stories with consumer behaviour psychology to support how you can persuade your customers to buy certain products, essentially revealing the secrets to businesses that can successfully create word of mouth among its customers as a free promotion. This is certainly a book to read for people aiming to grow their businesses and get noticed among the crowd without spending big money.e

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            Reading duration: 3hrs 37mins

            Get Contagious: Why Things Catch On from Amazon at $7.77

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            Last Updated on November 18, 2021

            10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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            10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

            We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

            A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

            So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

            • honest
            • reliable
            • competent
            • kind and compassionate
            • capable of taking the blame
            • able to persevere
            • modest and humble
            • pacific and can control anger.

            The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

            1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

            All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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            But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

            2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

            How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

            I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

            “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

            Abigail Van Buren

            3. How does this person take the blame?

            Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

            4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

            You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

            5. Read their emails.

            Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

            • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
            • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
            • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
            • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
            • Too many question marks can show anger
            • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

            6. Watch out for the show offs.

            Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

            7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

            A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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            Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

            8. Their empathy score is high.

            Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

            People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

            9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

            We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

            “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

            Stendhal

             10. Avoid toxic people.

            These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

            • Envy or jealousy
            • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
            • Complaining about their own lack of success
            • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
            • Obsession with themselves and their problems

            Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

            Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

            Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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