Advertising
Advertising

Asking a Girl Out Doesn’t Need To Be Hard, You Just Need To Know How

Asking a Girl Out Doesn’t Need To Be Hard, You Just Need To Know How

Tinder has revolutionized the way that we date. As of 2016, the app had 25 million users, 1.5 million of whom pay for it. There’s a clear demand for the service, and it represents a shift in how people date. Back in the day, we used to meet people first to decide whether we wanted to date them. Today, we’ve flipped this model on its head. We prefer to talk before we have an in-person meeting.

Date the real person, not the person she created using her phone

Starting a proper relationship requires so much more than typing into a chat box. You can’t stay in the chat room forever. If you want to make a real connection with someone, you have to be able to have a face to face meeting.

You can never truly know someone if your communication consists only online messages. People can easily fake their reactions or disguise their intentions through text. Think about how often people type “lol” without laughing out loud. Even worse, some individuals create fake online personas to swindle people.

When you meet someone in person, you can see their facial expressions, pick up on their tone of voice, and get a real sense of who they are. They won’t be as likely to fake a reaction, and you can see their response in real time.

Advertising

Being physically present with a person is an important part of building a relationship. Having physical interactions can confirm intimacy and attraction. Online dating can involve far too much fantasy. If you spend too much time chatting with a person online, you may build up unreasonable expectations about the person.

The bottom line is, you’re going to have to ask her out. You may feel nervous doing this, but simply asking her for a date is the first step in forming an authentic real-world connection. Asking someone out can seem difficult, but there are a few things that you can do to ensure that you succeed.

1. Pay attention to your conversation

Your instincts about a person and situation can be a powerful indicator of whether it’s time to take the relationship off the screen and into reality. You should have a good feeling about the person before you suggest a meeting.

Have you been talking for a while? Sometimes people go online to look for casual dates. Their attention-span might be short. If you’re interested in having a more serious relationship, you’ll only want to ask someone you’ve been talking to for a while. Having a few conversations online first will help you determine whether it is the right time to ask her out.

Advertising

If you’re having frequent conversations, you can determine a lot about the other person and choose your moment to ask for a date. If she seems to be hung up on her ex, or some of her responses don’t sit well with you, you may not want to ask her out.

On the other hand, if the girl seems genuinely interested in learning more about you, or if she’s indicated that she’s ready for a serious relationship, your chances of success are higher.[1] If you feel like you have a connection with this person, remember to take things slowly. Girls tend to avoid guys who seem insecure or clingy.

Does it seem like she shares some interests with you? If you’ve discussed ethical questions, do you agree with her philosophy. Knowing that you have a few things in common can make the prospect of asking her out less scary. Even if you go on the date and don’t feel a romantic connection, you may still gain a new friend.

2. Ask about her availability before you suggest an activity

You certainly don’t want to be rejected because you suggested an activity that doesn’t appeal to her. Imagine if you ask her to see a movie that she doesn’t want to see. She can just say she’s busy that day, and you may never get the chance to meet.

Advertising

See if she has some free time first. If she is interested, she will likely offer you some details about her schedule, and you can coordinate.[2] Then, if you suggest an activity and she isn’t interested, you can decide on something else together, but the date will still happen.

3. Talk about possible date topics

You might feel like you have no idea what this girl would like to do for a date. Discussing topics that could become dates is a great way to improve your odds. Talking about movies and food are great choices. You can learn a little bit more about her, and you’ll get some hints about the types of things she’s like to do.

When she shows interest in a particular topic, you can use that as a natural lead into asking her out on a date. You might invite her to watch the movie or offer to take her to a restaurant that she likes. This is one of the smoothest ways to ask a girl out.

Imagine that she has gone on at length about how much she loves ice cream. You know that the new Wonder Woman movie will be playing in the theater soon, but you haven’t seen it yet. Ask her if she’s seen it. If she says that she hasn’t, but would like to, then you could say something like, “I haven’t seen the film either, but I’d like to. Would you be interested in going to see it with me?” If she says yes, you can watch the film, and you’ll get brownie points if you take her for ice cream afterward.

Advertising

4. Make mental notes of things she has mentioned

This is one of the easiest ways to ask a girl out because you can use information that she’s given you to suggest something in which she’s interested. If you do this well, she’ll also see that you are a good listener.

In this case, you can suggest that you both go to a place she’s mentioned before. If she told you that she loves Mexican food from Guadalajara Grill, asking her if she’d like to go there with you isn’t too much of a stretch. In this case, you save yourself some worry because you already know that she likes the place.

You’ll never know if you never ask

Asking someone out can feel intimidating, but if you don’t give it a shot, you’ll be stuck sending her texts until she gets bored and moves on to someone brave enough to meet her in person. Yes, rejections do happen, but wouldn’t you rather be rejected early-on instead of devoting lots of time and energy to someone who isn’t interested in you? If someone rejects you, dust yourself off and find someone else. When one door closes, another one opens.

Stay positive, be yourself, and take the chance to meet the girl in person.

Reference

More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down Are We Spending Too Little Time on Too Many People? How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 53 Relationship Questions That Will Make Your Love Life Better

Trending in Psychology

1 8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies 2 20 Things Only Parents Of Children With Dyslexia Would Understand 3 How to Find the Purpose of Life and Start Living a Fulfilling Life 4 How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Right Now 5 How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

Advertising

Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

Advertising

3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

Advertising

5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

Advertising

Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

Read Next