Advertising
Advertising

People Who Can Understand Things Quickly Are Not Gifted, They Just Know How to Listen

People Who Can Understand Things Quickly Are Not Gifted, They Just Know How to Listen

We all change our “technique” when needed… Using different strategies while playing any kind of sport to better counteract our opponents, being a different kind of parent to our children of different ages and even speak differently to different people to get their attention back to us…

And yet, knowing very well that we need to keep changing ourselves to better adapt to the situation, we don’t really change our listening technique at all. Despite being in different situations, we sit back and listen, the way we always do. There’s a lot of difference in listening to a speech, an interactive talk, a lecture, a song, a stand-up show – but do we really use our listening differently to better adapt to these different situations? Frankly, the answer is likely to be a no, and the mismatch is as evident as is beer served in a wine glass!

Advertising

The solution: Change our modes of listening, to better suit the different occasions.

You Can Truly Understand What Is Being Said When You Can Switch Your Listening Modes Properly

Different “speaking” situations demand that we adapt to them by using different listening techniques. A simple example of this would be three very different situations we often face in office – that of getting a directive from our seniors, attending a training module or having a luncheon conversation with colleagues. All three situations demand that we use different listening techniques for we have to remember the first one, learn from the second and empathize with the third. So then, the three most commonly used listening types are:

Advertising

Informative Listening

When you listen to learn something or collect information from – this is called informational or informative listening. This kind of listening holds true in many diverse situations – attending a lecture or training module, listening to the news or a documentary, asking and then listening to the answer of a question you have, listening to an asked-for recipe… Diverse situations but all of these have a commonality – you are paying attention to what is being said and basically listening to something that is giving your information that you want, need or deem necessary. [1]

  • For informative listening, switch off those wandering thoughts and keep those distractions away. Listen to the words and try and remember as much of them as you can. You are basically downloading a set of directives or directions – so listen, understand and retain as much of it as you can.
  • Informative listening can also be called active or attentive listening – where you consciously direct all your attention to the speaker and listen to the words being said.

Critical Listening

Critical listening is not listening with a critical or jaundiced view, rather, it’s the next step in learning where you evaluate and scrutinize all that is being said and figure how much of it holds true in different contexts and how much of it have you truly understood. This is also the time to raise your doubts and ask your questions, once the speaker has finished his talk, so as to truly understand what is being said.

Advertising

Examples of this are instructional and educational talks, lectures and courses, conversations with doctors, technical experts and much more… The end idea is to learn and remember for future use.[2]

  • To be in a critical listening mode, you have to be attentive and listen to all that the speaker is saying and also try and read between the lines, instead of talking the words on just a literal scale. Make notes if you want, and make sure to raise your hand and ask those questions at the end – you have to be clear on the understanding and comprehension of all you listened to. You can also choose to digress from or argue a point if you disagree about something.
  • Critical Listening is often also synonymous with deep or reflective listening where you listen to more than just the words, and then think about all that you have understood or not, trying to glean as much as you can through introspection and doubt clarification.

Empathetic Listening

This is akin to lending your shoulder for someone to cry on – empathetic listening exists purely as friendly shoulder where you listen to and feel from the place the speaker is coming from so as to commiserate, empathize or even help the speaker in any way you can. While this is used in relationships be it family, friends or lovers – empathetic listening is also employed by professionals such as therapists, doctors or even lawyers where they listen to their clients’ tale of woes with an open ear and a friendly expression to better get to the root of the problem.

Advertising

Good marketing and sales professionals also employ this tactic to better understand their clients’ need and provide them with tailor-made solutions.[3]

  • For empathetic listening, you have to listen to more than just what is being said – the body language, the emotions behind the words all come into play for you to truly understand all that the speaker is trying to make you envisage. Imagine yourself in the speaker’s place and you will begin to understand the situation in better detail – for you to help the speaker as you can, as a professional or simply as a friend.
  • Relationship listening (where attentive listening happens due to an active interest in maintaining or furthering a relationship), sympathetic listening (where you share the pain of the speaker), dialogic listening (where you enter into a conversation to really understand the speaker better) and therapeutic listening (where you listen and try to offer help or advice, mostly a professional caregiver) all come under empathetic listening.

So there you have it, the way we use different tools to crack different hardware, or even use different cutlery to eat different cuisine – similarly when it comes to listening, we need to use different skills and techniques to better listen and understand what is being said.

Reference

[1] AU: Types of Listening
[2] Work 911: Listen Critically
[3] Beyond Intractability: Empathic Listening

More by this author

Rima Pundir

Health, Wellness & Productivity Writer

Stiff Muscles Make You Feel Sick Often: 8 Natural Muscle Relaxers You Can’t Miss When You Drive And Don’t Drink Enough Water, It’s As Dangerous As Drunk Driving Having A Glass Of This Drink Before You Sleep Can Burn Your Fat Insanely Fast How Common Language Can Help You Strengthen Your Friendship Introducing 13 Useful Free Apps For you To Install Today

Trending in Productivity

1 10 Best Ted Talks About Procrastination That Will Ignite Your Motivation 2 The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder That Works) 3 15 Highly Successful People Who Failed On Their Way To Success 4 14 Powerful Leadership Traits That All Great Leaders Have 5 Ditch Work Life Balance and Embrace Work Life Harmony

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on June 19, 2019

10 Best Ted Talks About Procrastination That Will Ignite Your Motivation

10 Best Ted Talks About Procrastination That Will Ignite Your Motivation

There are two types of people in this world; one who wants to complete their work as early as possible and one who wants to delay it as much they can. The first category of this depicts ‘precrastinators’ and the latter one are termed as ‘procrastinators’.

Much has been researched and published about procrastination; most of the studies terming it as detrimental to one’s health and adding to stress levels. Though, there are ‘procrastinating apologists’ as you would call them who proclaim there are a few benefits of it as well. But scientists have argued that the detriments of procrastination far outweigh the short-term benefits of it.

Everybody procrastinates, but not everybody is a procrastinator. Procrastination is habitual, not situational.

For an employee, it means piling up work until the end hours of their shift and then completing it in a hurry. For a student, it means not studying for an exam that is due the next week and cramming up the whole book one night before.

If you fall into this category, do not worry, there have also been articles published and speeches given by successful leaders on how procrastinators aren’t so bad after all.

Here are 10 of the best Ted Talks about procrastination that will help you regain motivation:

1. Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator, by Tim Urban

Tim Urban gives his funny uptake on procrastination and dives deep into how a procrastinator’s mind functions. He goes ahead and tells the audience about how ‘precrastinators’ have a rational decision-maker in their mind but in a procrastinator’s mind, there are two other entities existing — the ‘instant gratification monkey’ and ‘the panic monster’

Advertising

From the video, you will learn how to stay aware of the ‘instant gratification monkey’ whenever you have to complete a task.

2. The Surprising Habits Of Original Thinkers, by Adam Grant

In this video, Adam Grant builds on the concepts of ‘instant gratification monkey’ and ‘the panic monster,’ and marks a balance between ‘precrastinators’ and procrastinators giving existence to a productive and creative persona.

He talks about how a lot of great personalities in the course of history were procrastinators giving an example of Martin Luther King Jr. delaying the writing of his speech. ‘I have a dream’ was not in the script but was an original phrase by the leader; he opened himself to every possible avenue by not going with the script.

You can learn about how one has to be different and better rather than be the first-mover, going deep into the correlation between original thinkers and procrastinators.

3. An End To Procrastination, by Archana Murthy

According to a survey,[1] 20% of Americans are chronic procrastinators. Study after study shows chronic procrastination isn’t just laziness and poor time-management, but is actually a byproduct of negative emotions such as guilt, anxiety, depression and low self-worth — which is different from the contrary belief.

Archana Murthy gives us an insight into the procrastinator’s plight and provides ways to help the procrastinator in you.

For a fellow procrastinator, you should check out her good advice on how to end it.

Advertising

4. Why We Procrastinate, by Vik Nithy

Vik Nithy has already found 23 companies before coming to give his speech on procrastination. He puts forward the structure of our brain, showing the prefrontal cortex as the intelligent one telling us to complete the assignment due next day.

Procrastinators are threatened by complex work which gives them anxiety and that is where Amygdala comes in telling us to find pleasure in other activities.

Going ahead, you’ll from him how to overcome procrastination i.e. planning for goals, time, resources, process, distractions, and for failure.

5. Trust The Procrastinator, by Valerie Brown

Frankly, this is one of the best speeches on procrastination given on the TedTalks platform. Valerie Brown tells us that we live in a society where every body wants everything right now and procrastinators aren’t in those ‘right-now’ people.

She gives us an example of great procrastinators like Leonardo Da Vinci, who regarded himself as a failure at one point of time and took 16 years to complete the Mona Lisa. She gives us another perspective on procrastinators that it isn’t necessarily bad for one’s career or health.

6. Procrastination Is The Key To Problem Solving, by Andrea Jackson

Andrea Jackson gives us her two categories of procrastinators: the accidental procrastinators and the deliberate procrastinators. She puts Leonardo Da Vinci in the former category and Thomas Edison in the latter one.

There is a part where she labels procrastinators as unlocking a supersonic jigsaw puzzle in their head when they procrastinate; it means bringing thousands of ideas in one’s head when one procrastinates and keeps thinking about it. She calls Salvador Dali and Aristotle as deliberate procrastinators where they used to delay work in order to achieve a more creative result.

Advertising

In this video, you’ll learn a new perspective about procrastinators.

7. The Vaccination For Procrastination, by Bronwyn Clee

Bronwyn Clee takes us in the psychology of a procrastinator, telling us that fear stops us taking up new work.

She shares how she taught herself to be a decision-maker and not to fear if she will be able to take an action or not. From this video, you will learn how to bring the change in yourself and end procrastination.

8. I’m Not Lazy, I’m Procrastinating, by Victoria Gonzalez

Coming from a millennial, this is more relatable to the younger generation.

Victoria Gonzalez tells us that procrastination has nothing do with time-management skills. In fact, a procrastinator puts off work but with an intention to complete it; lazy people are the opposite of that who don’t even try.

9. Change Anything! Use Skillpower Over Willpower, by AI Wizler

Al Wizler, cofounder of VitalSmarts, gives us an example of her mother’s smoking habits which she wanted to quit but she just couldn’t even after trying for years. Eventually, she died of cancer.

He reminds us to the need to take control of the forces that influence our decisions, rather than letting them take control of ourselves.

Advertising

In this video, you’ll learn the importance of self-reflection, identifying your behaviours, and getting to work on it.

10. How To Motivate Yourself To Change Your Behaviour, by Tali Sharot

Tali Sharot, a neuroscientist explains how we behave when put through alternating situations.

She has found that people get to work when they are rewarded for an action immediately. Procrastinators can get themselves to work and reward themselves for it, which will lead to a change in their behaviour if they actually start that process of working sooner and completing it.

In this video, you’ll learn about the role of celebrating small wins and tracking your progress when you’re trying to reach your goals.

The Bottom Line

Procrastinators can find all kinds of advices on TedTalks.

A few of them, defending the idea and proclaiming that it actually allows for a more creative process and one that people shouldn’t feel so guilty about. Some of them, giving suggestions on how to put an end to it and making you a faster worker.

It all depends on how you want to perceive it and if you want to, you can find the cure for this ailment.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Han Chau via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next