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The Polite Way to Reject Writing a Letter of Recommendation

The Polite Way to Reject Writing a Letter of Recommendation

Emma, a senior copywriter at a reputed advertising agency, found herself in a tricky situation when a former colleague rang up to ask her for a letter of recommendation.

This colleague had been quite unpopular in the office and was known for her temper tantrums when things did not go her way. Now how, in good conscience, do you write a letter of reference for someone you don’t actually approve of.

Saying ‘No’ is a skill that many people lack. But, it is one life skill that helps you minimize stress and stay productive.

People often agonise about saying “No” to others and they get pressured into doing things they don’t really want to do. In reality, saying NO isn’t that hard. When you say ‘no’ assertively and clearly, you are more likely to gain respect than lose it.

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There is never an obligation to give someone a reference.

There are ways to politely and diplomatically decline the request without offending the person who asked you. The trick is to do so without making your refusal sound like a personal criticism or a professional rejection.

There are three suitable excuses you can use:

When you don’t know the person well…

The best recommendations come from people who value your character and your work skills. It’s in no one’s best interest for you to endorse someone you can’t speak genuinely about or someone you don’t intimately know.

You can decline the request with the excuse “I don’t know you well enough.” Or in other words:

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“I received your request for a letter of recommendation yesterday and I am flattered that you would ask for a recommendation from me. Letters of reference carry the most weight when they are from colleagues who know your work skills. Since I work in an entirely different section of the company, I can hardly speak with authority about your professional abilities. I hope you will understand if I decline.”

If the individual insists on pursuing the matter, explain that you simply do not feel comfortable writing the recommendation as your integrity and professional brand is on the line with each recommendation you make.

Use “I” statements rather than “you”- “I feel that I don’t know you well enough” rather than “You haven’t made a good impression on me.”

When you can’t provide a glowing review…

If you do know the person very well as in Emma’s case and you have nothing positive to recommend, it best to get out of situation at the earliest.

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There are people who give negative references without considering how it will impact the individual, professionally or psychologically. It’s better not to give a recommendation at all than to give a vague one or a negative one.

It’s one thing to decline endorsing someone, but it’s a below the belt tactic to say yes and then jeopardize their future. You can considering tell them:

“I am honored that you put your trust in me for such an important task and chose me to write a letter of recommendation for you. Regrettably, I must decline your request as I believe that it would serve your requirement better to select another colleague whose endorsement would truly benefit you.”

When you have things that are a lot more important to do…

When you are focused on achieving a goal, finishing a project and getting home to the kids on time, every additional task you take on upsets your time management, decreases your efficiency and disrupts your productivity.

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You definitely don’t have the time to be writing recommendation letters for every Tom, Dick and Harry. People ask for our time every single day. We’ll end up feeling frazzled and grumpy, if we give away our time to everyone who asks for it.

Take the tip from Steve Jobs when he says “Innovation is saying “no” to 1,000 things.”[1]

Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

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Published on April 25, 2019

How Creativity Can Help You Get Ahead in Life

How Creativity Can Help You Get Ahead in Life

Have you ever felt limited in your abilities to do something you really wanted to pursue? Maybe it was an ambition you had, or an idea to start something. Perhaps it was an opportunity that came your way, but you weren’t able to take it because something held you back.

Often, we’re unable to progress towards our goals because such obstacles stand in the way. We let our limitations stop or overshadow our abilities to see through to a goal.

Yet, there’s one thing that we rarely think of to use when trying to overcome limitations.

Creativity.

What is Creativity?

When I say creativity, I’m not talking about an innate talent. Creativity is a much needed, but often neglected, skill that everyone has! It’s a skill with huge leverage that allows you to generate enormous amounts of value from relatively little input.

Creativity at its heart, is being able to see things in a way that others cannot. It’s a skill that helps you find new perspectives to create new possibilities and solutions to different problems.

Everything, including brilliant inventions, cannot come from nothing; it all derives from some sort of inspiration. Creativity works by connecting things together in order to derive new meaning or value.

From this perspective, you can find creativity at play in many areas.

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For example, Mark Zuckerburg rapidly became successful by taking the previously existing concept of social media, and combining it with an incredibly simple interface that appealed to a much wider audience. Uber and Lyft combined the idea of a traditional taxi service with an incredibly efficient smartphone app.

Both of these examples connect different ideas, find common ground amongst the differences, and create a completely new idea out of them.

That’s creativity in a nutshell, and anyone can improve theirs.

Limitations are Actually Opportunities

The advantage of using creativity, is to help you see limitations as opportunities. Take any limitation that you may find yourself facing, is there a way to look at things differently?

Let me illustrate with an example.

On the day of my son’s 5th birthday, my wife and I arranged a party for him at a children’s adventure park. His friends and family were all invited, and the plan was to have a long, fun day out to celebrate.

However, the day didn’t go exactly as planned…

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At Lifehack, we pride ourselves on a healthy work-life balance, so I wasn’t concerned about taking the day off to celebrate. But, on the big day, a call came through to my phone.

It was a manager from Lifehack. He excitedly told me that a group of investors were quite interested in our business proposition, and were wanting to meet later that day.

This was great news! A potential investment could be coming our way. But, I was already miles away from home and the office. Plus, it was my son’s birthday…

I asked if I could call him back once we got settled into the park.

To be honest, I was pretty certain I was not going to be able to make it. Asking to reschedule would be a risky request, but there was no way that I was going to miss my son’s party.

My son could sense something was off, and he asked me what was wrong. So I let him know that I just received a call about a meeting today, but also told him not to worry as today was about celebrating his birthday.

But like all kids, he continued questioning me…

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“But daddy, is it important?”

“No, of course not,” I bluffed.

Then, with childlike intuition and creativity, he asked: “Can’t you just meet with them at the park?”

And, then it struck me! This was the idea that I was missing.

Even though my son didn’t quite understand that it would not be possible for the investors to meet me at the park, it made sense for me to simply do a video call!

I could miss 25 minutes of the party to do a quick call while the rest of the party walked through the aquarium. And, in the end, that was exactly what happened.

I called back my teammate and asked him to briefly explain to the investors why I couldn’t be there in person to meet, but would be happy to join via video. I took the call, and was able to spend the rest of the day at the park with my son.

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Not only did my son enjoy his birthday, his simple idea led to a successful investment meeting that allowed us to get funding for a new project.

This is where I was able to turn a limitation into an opportunity that enabled me to reach my success.

Creativity is One Key to Success

When you use your creative ability to turn your limitations and setbacks into opportunities, you’ll find doors opening for you in areas you may have never imagined.

Remember, your attitude is also important when it comes to achieving a goal, and tackling a setback or problem. That’s because a positive attitude transforms not just your mental state, but your physical and emotional well being. It is the key to lasting total transformation.

Check out this article to learn more about how you can tune your attitude towards positivity.

So, the next time you’re feeling limited by your abilities, setbacks or challenges, don’t give up. Really look at the situation, and see how you can leverage on your creativity to find an alternative solution.

Featured photo credit: Photo by William Iven on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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