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Hate Your Job But Don’t Know What to Do? Check This to Make up Your Mind

Hate Your Job But Don’t Know What to Do? Check This to Make up Your Mind

Do mornings bring with them a sense of impending doom?

Do you often lie in bed sleepless, hating your life and yourself?

And would your rather have your teeth pulled out, one by one, sans any anesthesia rather than going to work?

If a really stressed yes is your answer, then it’s pretty clear that you hate your job and would go through anything to be able to send in a scathing resignation letter.

The thing is, practically speaking, most of us don’t have the wherewithal to be able to simply quit a job we hate, for there are bills to be paid. So what to do when you hate your job?

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Why is it so hard to quit, and even harder to stay?

Moaning and groaning about your job on an everyday basis is not only making you miserable but also irritating everyone around you. And telling yourself that sticking to a known devil rather than trying out an unknown one is better is bad philosophy.

If you hate your job, you are probably not going to be very good at it in any case, and are setting yourself up for a big fall later; and frankly if it is getting unbearable – you need to find a way out, pronto![1]. That said, the five most common reasons people keep doing the jobs they hate are listed below, and they are pretty understandable too.

Fear of testing new waters

One of the main reasons people keep sticking to the jobs they hate, and probably end up hating themselves while they are hard at work is the fear of unknown waters. This is particularly true for people nearing retirement or women getting back to work after a maternity leave, or even employees who have stagnated in the company or at the same position for too long.

Monetary concerns

Yep, the cost of living, unpaid bills and rising debts can put the fear of God into anyone! Your rather rickety financial situation will be worsened with unemployment and so this is one reason people stay put in the jobs they hate, unable to see a way out, at least immediately.

A lull in the job market

Sometimes you stay in the job you hate simply because there seems to be a dearth of good jobs in any case. Your regular scouring of classifieds and job sites simply tells you that leaving now means you might end up unemployed for a bit

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Being miserable is okay

So you hate your job. So what. There are so many people in the world who would shrug and say “what to do when you hate your job”? Its part and parcel of life, you don’t have to like what you do – and somewhere this homily has taken root in you. And if this job is giving your family a good life, then it is well worth the sacrifice, no? Is it, truly?

All jobs are the same

And the final excuse, somehow you think that all the jobs in the world are bad and would probably end up making you miserable one way or another. Bad bosses, jealous colleagues and a workload that feels like the entire world’s weight – all jobs are like that, only … well, they aren’t.

So what to do when you hate your job? Doing nothing is a bad option.

You hate your job, that’s been established. And if you are still reading this article, you not only hate your job very much, you also abhor, despise and detest it, and this is not a transitory phase for you – you have hated your job for a while. The problem being, staying put at a job you hate and not doing anything about it, isn’t good for you, your job and both their entwined futures at all.

As we said before, a job you don’t enjoy will, if it hasn’t already, turn into a job you are not good at it. You will procrastinate, avoid added responsibilities, and basically harp and complain about it all day long – much to the ire of your colleagues, and the boss. And if your whining reaches the boss’s ears, well, soon you will be out of the job in any case.

What to do when you hate your job. Assess and take affirmative action.[2]

Frankly, as Maya Angelou put it, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

And this hold true for your “what to do when you hate your job” whining too. There are basically only two things you can do: either you change your job, or at least the things you don’t like about it; or you change your attitude about it [3]

1. Is it the job, or is it you?

Being unhappy with your job, or hating your job may be an extrinsic factor, but it may arise from an intrinsic one. Are you unhappy in general and hate your life? Or is it just the job you hate? If it’s your life you are unhappy about, then decide to make small little changes every day and get all the help you need to make yourself happy, now.[4]

2. Find out what you “hate” about the job

The first thing to do when you get stuck in a “what to do when you hate your job situation” is to find out why you hate your job. Is it the mean boss? Is it the sniggering and overly competitive colleagues? A new and added responsibility that you cannot handle or are not equipped to do well? Has the workload suddenly increased or decreased? Has your job profile been changed?

Make a pros and cons list of your current job – this will help you sort out a problem (if it can be sorted) and also, make sure what you don’t want in your next job if you are going application happy.

3. Discuss your woes with your boss

Sometimes bosses are the reason you hate your job. While sometimes they are just nasty pieces of work, mostly bosses are as human as you and I. Talk to your boss, and discuss what is making you unhappy. See if a solution, or at least a part solution, can be reached – and then try and compromise a bit from your end too. And if the boss is the problem, see if your company can move you to a parallel position, under someone nicer?

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4. Unless unbearable, don’t quit

If your job is not driving you up a wall and is also compensating you decently for your troubles, quitting may not make you as happy as you thought it would, especially if you haven’t landed another gig. Being unemployed will make you miss that salary, overanalyze your behavior and perhaps think yourself as a quitter.

If you have to leave your job, make sure you have landed another one, preferably one that is your dream job, or has all the attributes your current job lacks.[5]

5. Always be a good worker

So you hate your job and no compromise or new job is in sight, and you are not quitting either. That doesn’t mean that you will not work well or be unprofessional – hate your job as much as you want, but you still have to do it to the best of your abilities. Basically train your mind to be strong![6]

6. Try to look at the bright side

You cannot hate everything about your job now, can you? So if you are stuck in a what to do when you hate your job situation, try and concentrate on what you do like about your job instead and mentally block the negatives out. Think about the future, you may hate your current job, but if it’s just a stepping stone that allows you to reach your career goals a few years down the line, sticking to it makes more sense, no?

7. Do not overshare your feelings

Frankly, no one wants a gripe at the office. If all you do is moan, groan, complain and whine – no colleague of yours is going to like you and those friends you made at work will soon disappear into thin air. Being a person who always dissed this and that all the time will further alienate you at a job you already dislike and make it unbearable. So put on that game face and work, till you have another option [7].

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So there you have it, if a job starts affecting your life in a bad way, maybe it is time to quit [8] But it is always good to have a good exit strategy beforehand, as in another job before you do up and leave. And till that time you can, well, grin and bear it and remember that this too shall pass!

Reference

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

How to Bounce Back Gracefully After Getting Fired

How to Bounce Back Gracefully After Getting Fired

Whether you saw it coming or not, getting fired is a real shock and its impact is daunting. What did you do wrong? What are you supposed to do next? When will you stop feeling so angry?

But there are ways to deal with a layoff.

The most important thing is to remain calm and see it as an opportunity to reflect, change and improve. This is a great time to consider what happened, look again at your needs and desires and start afresh on a stronger, more constructive basis.

Let’s take a look at how you can bounce back gracefully after getting fired.

1. Deal with the Shock of Getting Fired

To lose your job is to lose your identity as a worker and as a person. Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress, states that 7 out of 10 of us define ourselves by our job titles, since work is where we spend the majority of our time and energy.

Being laid off affronts your sense of self-worth—it implies that you simply are not good enough. It’s no wonder you feel confused and emotional.

The first thing, then, is to take some time to digest what happened and deal with the overflow of sensations. People who quickly recover from the pain of a job loss tend to do two things very well:

First, they accept their feelings of sadness, anger, fear and shame as a part of the natural healing process.

Second, they do their complaining to a friend.

Never call out your boss in the office or on social media. It’s a bad form to speak ill of the company you work for. Stay stylish, and your employer will speak better of you when you need a reference.

2. Stay Away from the Drama Queens

Mass layoffs are, unfortunately, very common. If this is your situation, then you may be surrounded by a lot of angry people, ruminating and lamenting their fate.

“It’s not fair!” they say. “After everything we did for this company! We don’t deserve this!”

You’ve lost your job and that’s tough. But please resist the urge to join in the negativity. Positivity is by far the most important attitude to apply right now. If staying upbeat means you have to limit your exposure to the Negative Nellies, then that’s what you have to do.

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Remember, life is not harder for you than it is for other people on this planet. You live in a democracy, you have freedom of choice and you enjoy a certain material abundance.

Stay positive and focus on what’s going well in your life and the exciting future opportunities available to you. Getting fired is only a temporary setback.

Staying positing could be challenging in a difficult situation, so these tips can help:

10 Questions To Ask Yourself To Stay Positive When Facing Difficulties

3. Take a Break and Let the Dust Settle

Instead of running straight into another job that may not be the right one either, take a short break to recover from the job loss. You need a week or two to de-stress and meditate on the next step.

Be attentive to your need for self-care during this interlude. Everything goes so fast these days that we often do not stop to think or give ourselves the permission to do a little mourning.

Getting fired is a big shock: you need time to refocus and take stock of the new reality. Do not make things harder for yourself!

What you need is to pause a while and do some self reflection:

How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life

4. Be Anchored in the Present

Since you no longer have a hold on the past, but have not yet designed your future, try to build yourself up with the present. What do we mean by that?

We mean that right now is the only time you have any control over. Focus on that instead of losing yourself in memories or reliving the awful day you got fired over and over in your head.

Get up at 7 a.m. each day, whatever happens. The body needs rhythm and habits. You will feel much more energized if you keep a consistent routine. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, revisit your budget, play sports, volunteer. Take care of the practical stuff like claiming unemployment. Enjoy the small pleasures of everyday life.

When you’re busy, there’s no room for the inner critic to raise up and derail you. Keep active, and you will gain more of the precious energy you need so much to move forward.

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Try these things to help you live in the moment:

34 Ways To Live in the Moment And Grow in the Moment

5. Understand the “Why”

There are lots of reasons why people are fired. Sometimes the mistake is yours and it’s embarrassing to admit you backed yourself into this corner.

Other times, it’s not your fault. Businesses change direction all the time—maybe yours is going through a major transition or merger and your job is disappearing.

Either way, to give the situation some closure, you need to understand why you were dismissed. What slipped? What could you have done differently? Was your boss really out to get you or did you do something to put your job in jeopardy?

Be honest with yourself. It’s not easy to admit that you might have dropped the ball but it’s the only way to turn the situation into a learning experience. Ask yourself:

What skills do you need to improve?

Is there training you can access, or learning you can do?

In the end, did this job suit you that much? Were you happy there?

Reflecting on these questions can help you put things into perspective. What lessons can you learn to avoid reproducing the same pattern in your next job?

6. Find out If You Were the Right Fit

Hiring decisions ultimately come down to personality. You can study for an interview all you like, but every candidate who is chosen for interview has the right credentials for the job.

The final decision comes down to personality. Who does the recruiter like the best? Who is a better fit for the company culture? That’s the person who strikes it lucky.

Firing decisions are based on personality, too. Slacking off, insubordination and playing fast and loose with the company rules—these are the official reasons why people are getting fired.

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But all of these reasons boil down to one thing: personality. Specifically, they signal a personality clash between an employee and a manager, or an employee’s fit with the company’s culture.

Here’s an example:

Suppose you were fired for “not being a team player.” Some people, namely introverts, lose energy when they are surrounded by other people and gain energy when they are on their own. Forcing an introvert to continuously work on a busy, noisy team without any solitary rest periods means the job is a mission impossible. This employee will never perform at her best.

Or how about the time the Kansas City Star newspaper fired Walt Disney for a perceived lack of imagination? Talk about a clash of personalities![1]

Getting fired can be a signal to turn inward and do some self-reflection so you can better understand your personality and how it might fit in with corporate culture.

In particular, personality assessments based on Isabel Briggs Myers’ sixteen personality types can help you to understand your own work style and how you can find a job and workplace that better match who you truly are.

In many cases, it is totally liberating to realize that all the crap you had to deal with was just down to a clash of work styles and not something you did wrong!

7. Rediscover Your Strengths and Talents

A personality test can also give you clear insights into your strengths, weaknesses, motivations and work potential. Do you have leadership abilities? How do you communicate and manage conflict? What benefits do you add to an organization?

Identifying your working style should be your top priority right now, otherwise you risk accepting a new position that has all the same problems as before. The last thing you want is to reproduce the same old dramas the next time around.

When you become aware of your potential, you will have the confidence to search and find the type of work you love.

For example, getting fired from your banking job may have knocked you sideways. But you have some stellar home decorating skills, and a personality test shows that you are curious, flexible, rational and resilient—all the traits of successful entrepreneurs. Maybe this dismissal is an opportunity to launch the business you’ve always dreamed of but never dared to admit to yourself?

By considering all your special skills and talents, you increase your chances of finding a job you would really enjoy, and not just the one you can do.

8. Get the Word Out

At this point, you should be ready to take action and move forward with your job search. Let’s not sugarcoat the situation: getting a new job is tough. It helps to have a clear idea of the direction you want to go in, a list of all your crossover skills and a freshly polished resume.

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Look around for inspiration. Talk to recruiters in your sector to establish what they consider to be your most valuable skills. Use all the resources at your disposal: job search agencies, headhunters, work coaches, careers websites and so on. These resources can help you match your qualifications to the job requirements and ensure you have the right keywords on your resume.

Don’t hold back on marshaling your networks. Put friends and family to work to pop up leads, and don’t be afraid to ask for referrals. Sometimes the simple act of getting the word out to the people who know you is the surest way to find work fast.

9. Anticipate Questions and Know How to Answer Them

Even if it wasn’t your fault, getting fired can hurt you if you don’t know how to explain why you were let go. You have to be honest here and tell recruiters the truth. Even if a would-be employer does not specifically ask why you left your previous job, it is better to clarify the situation upfront before it comes out in your references.

The best approach is to take your share of responsibility and show that you want to go forward and that you understand the lesson.

For example, suppose you got fired for asking the difficult questions that no one wanted to answer and your candidness set people on edge. Acknowledge that some people perceive your communication style as abrupt and explain how you’re taking steps to increase your diplomacy skills.

A recruiter can be seduced by someone who knows how to evolve and who shows a great energy for personal development.

10. Adapt and Persist

Throughout this journey, you inevitably will go through moments of self-doubt and disappointment. There are undulations in every road, and these are the normal steps for regaining self-confidence after getting fired.

Stay tough! Don’t conclude that your future is hopeless just because the dream job doesn’t land straightaway. You open a positive path when you maintain focus. Have the confidence to know that the perfect job for you is out there.

Remember, you are not alone. Many people walked this road and they would urge you to keep the momentum. Stay open-minded and go where the opportunities take you: it will bring you closer to the job you really want.

Coming Out on Top

While getting fired isn’t the ideal situation, it isn’t the end of the world either. Even if feels like a doozy right now, you will get through it and emerge happier on the other side.

Be clear on what you want, have courage and believe in yourself. In the end, you may decide that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to you. It can be the catalyst for a powerful, career-fulfilling change.

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Featured photo credit: Jesus Kiteque via unsplash.com

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