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Every Pregnant Women Should Be Aware of Diastasis Recti After Giving Birth!

Every Pregnant Women Should Be Aware of Diastasis Recti After Giving Birth!

Every mother will agree that giving birth and becoming a mother is the most beautiful thing in the world. It is probably the bravest and most generous role one can accept. Mothers take on the biggest responsibility – giving birth and taking care of another human being. Quite often, this role completely overtakes their life, in a sense that their health and wellbeing becomes of secondary importance. This is why at most mums gatherings, children health and wellbeing are the only topics discussed. Even though there is sometimes not enough time to discuss the topics of post-pregnancy health, it is an important issue that deserves more awareness and attention since it affects a great number of new mums.

One of such post-pregnancy health issues is diastasis recti – a widening of the gap between the two sections of (Rectus Abdominis) abdominal muscle located at the front of the abdomen due to the growth of the uterus. The condition usually develops in the late pregnancy and is most noticeable after delivery. In some cases, the separation of the tissue can lessen in a couple of months after the childbirth, while in some cases the condition may last up to a year or longer.

Aside from health concerns that include weakened muscles and lower back pain, women going through diastasis recti experience a series of other difficulties, such as not being able to wear their usual jeans, as they simply don’t fit, even when they weigh the same as they did before pregnancy; or being frustrated with the fact that they have been able to shed all of the baby weight and still to have to carry a tummy that looks like they are pregnant.

What causes diastasis recti?

Even though it is most common in pregnant women, pregnancy doesn’t actually cause diastasis recti. It is quite possible that a great majority of people struggle with this since 98+ women have diastasis after delivery .

Diastasis recti is in fact, caused by intense intra-abdominal pressure or loading which is heightened by pregnancy, yet can be caused by an injury or surgery, therefore, men and children can also suffer from it.

Similarly to other pelvic and abdominal problems – hernia and prolapse, diastasis recti is directly caused by unsupported intra-abdominal pressure. The reason why most pregnant women face the condition is the weight of the baby that puts additional pressure on the connective abdominal tissue.

Who is more likely to have it?

Even though, as previously mentioned, children and men can suffer from diastasis recti as well, it is most common in women, especially pregnant women. Women are more likely to develop diastasis recti

  • If they have a petite physique
  • If they have had multiple pregnancies
  • If they became pregnant later in life – later than 35
  • If they deliver a baby who has a high birth weight
  • If they have poor muscle tone
  • If they have a sway back posture

How Do You Check If You Have It?

Bear in mind that you should always consult your doctor for a professional medical diagnosis and advice. That being said, there a couple of ways for you to check at home, before consulting a doctor.

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Lie on your back. Bend your knees with your feet flat on the floor.

  1. Lift your head and neck slightly off the floor, and press your fingers above you belly button.
  2. Repeat by pressing over the belly button and below it.
  3. If the gap between the muscles is bigger than 1-2 finger wide, you should consult your doctor about the possible diastasis recti symptoms.

Additionally, pay close attention to the tension in the gap. In the cases of diastasis recti, the tension in the midline is weak to non-existent, which could be one of the symptoms of the condition.

Watch the two videos for more detailed explanation of the self-examination process.

If You Have Diastasis recti, What Are The Do’s and Don’ts

What You Need To Do:

There are a great number of advice on how to treat diastasis recti, and many facts to be aware of if you have been diagnosed with the condition.

Be careful with exercise

Some types of exercises like planks, push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, some yoga poses (downward dog) and swimming can make matters even worse.

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Consult your doctor

Before starting any type of abdominal exercise, before or after pregnancy, make sure to ask your doctor first on how it will affect the possible development of the diastasis.

Treat the condition

Make sure to consult your doctor and find the best solution for you. There are some treatments and exercise programs that have been quite helpful in a majority of cases of diastasis recti. Some of them include the MuTu System, the Tupler technique, Fit2b, and The Tummy Team. Pilates is an other great way to strengthen the core muscles, before or during pregnancy, but make sure to choose a professional trainer who understands diastasis recti so that they can tailor the exercise to meet your specific needs.

What You Shouldn’t Do:

Even though traditional ab exercises can help to keep the abdominal muscles strong and prevent the diastasis recti, once the condition is determined it is suggested not to involve in any type of traditional ab workout.

No crunches

Helene Byrne, a prenatal and postpartum health and fitness expert suggests avoiding crunches, oblique curls, reverse curls, and roll-ups, since, at this point, it is not good for the recovery to involve in exercises that involve twisting the spine or work the abdominal wall against the force of gravity.

Don’t strain

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Any type of activity that involves straining the mid-line, such as sit-ups, planks, or heavy lifting is strictly forbidden since it can strain the connective tissue and make the separation between muscles even bigger, explains Kevin Brenner, M.D., F.A.C.S., a board certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon based in Beverly Hills.

Backbends are off limits

According to Ben Butts, P.T., director of rehabilitation services and Performance Therapy at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California, any type of exercises that involve spinal extension movements can put additional pressure on the abdominal tissue and should, therefore be avoided during the healing process.

Can You prevent Diastasis Recti?

Even though so many of us are prone to developing diastasis recti, it is possible to lessen or completely prevent the condition from developing.

Before pregnancy

Health and fitness experts suggest taking care of your body long before planning pregnancy, with special attention to strengthening your core abdominal muscles. This will lessen the chances for the separation of the muscles later during pregnancy.

During pregnancy

Preventive measures you can do during pregnancy include more subtle, yet important actions. One of those includes the log roll maneuver as Ben Butts, P.T., director of rehabilitation services and Performance Therapy at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California suggests. The maneuver requires getting out of bed by rolling onto one side, keeping your head and torso aligned, and then using your arms to push yourself up. In this way, you are protecting your muscles from separating.

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There are plenty of workout programs that specifically target the postpartum recovery and women dealing with diastasis recti, one of which is The Dia Method that provides effective exercise plan to help you regain your pre-baby belly and weight.

Do postpartum splints or corset binders really help?

Splinting is considered as a part of postpartum tradition around the world, as a means for women to heal faster and lose the baby tummy sooner. Yet, nowadays there are two opposing views concerning postpartum splinting, both providing facts in their favor.

The pro binding facts include it being great addition to mild and focused exercises, with researches and users showing its effectiveness on healing the diastasis recti problem.

On the other hand, the opposing view suggests that splinting is not only ineffective in resolving diastasis , but it can also be counter-effective and prevent body from healing.

Even though both views are strongly defended, many patients have actually found that the combined approach worked best, as best results were achieved by using the splint to protect the abdominal muscles and to become aware of the muscle they are using, and then doing mild exercises suggested by specialists’ programs.

Exercises you can do after giving birth

There are great post baby workouts you can do at home when you want to get rid of baby belly or to heal the tissue separation caused by diastasis, yet you need to make sure to always consult your doctor for professional advice before starting any workout program. Here are some of the best exercises to do at home after delivery.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

Entitled Kids Are Parents’ Biggest Enemies

Entitled Kids Are Parents’ Biggest Enemies

An old Proverb says “Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathers by labor shall increase.” It is good advice. We probably have applied this to our own lives already. We believe that nothing good or worthwhile comes easily, so we work hard to earn what we want. Unfortunately, kids these days seem to be missing that message. They are growing up feeling and acting as though their mere existence entitles them to money, the newest smart phone, TVs, designer clothes, and more. The entitlement attitude is pervasive in our culture and it starts with what we are teaching our children.

If we don’t want our culture to be entitled, we need to start preventing entitlement in our own homes. That way, 20 years from now, you won’t have a 30 year old living in your guest suite using your credit card for their needs because they have no desire to go out and earn it for themselves.

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How entitlement begins

None of us wants to think that we are making our children feel entitled. However, it happens easily to all of us, especially to good parents. Parents who try hard to give their children a good, happy, and full childhood easily fall into the entitlement parenting trap. It’s because of a parent’s desire to make their child happy that they give too much. Their child grows up without any wanting. Needs and desires are met by the parent and thus the child not only feels, but knows that their parent is there to provide for them.

Needs are essential to be met by parents, but what about all those wants? Is a phone a want or a need? What kind of clothing becomes a want instead of a need? You as a parent need to start differentiating between needs and wants in order to properly parent in a manner that works to diminish entitlement attitudes.

We want our children to feel happy and loved, but our efforts can be undermining them mentally. We may be feeding into the development of their entitlement attitude by doing and giving too much. Psychology Today examines children’s sense of entitlement and states,[1]

Yet, when children receive everything they want, we feed into their sense of entitlement—and feelings of gratitude fall by the wayside. It’s what Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, believes is a “Me, Me, Me” epidemic brought on by parents doing everything they can to insure their children’s happiness.

Good parents who are trying very hard unfortunately are feeding into the entitlement epidemic when they give their kids too much. Wanting your children to be happy is wonderful, but there are ways to help develop their character so that the entitlement attitude does not seep into your household.

How to know if your child is acting entitled

There are some indicators with your child’s behavior that will show you whether or not they have or are developing an attitude of entitlement. These are just some examples:

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  • They do not handle losing well.
  • They do not congratulate winning opponents (whether it be in sports, a board game, or simply a race on the playground).
  • They do not cope well with being told “no”.
  • They do not make an effort to help around the household.
  • When asked to help, they whine and complain, as though they should not be expected to help in the household.
  • They often think the rules apply to other people and not to them.
  • If they have a problem in school or life, they expect you as the parent to take care of the problem for them.
  • They expect to be rewarded for good behavior with toys or treats, rather than good behavior being expected from the parents and does not require rewards. This is especially true in public places such as going to the market.
  • They do not care about the feelings, needs, or desires of others. Act selfish and self centered in general.
  • They do not accept responsibility for the behavior or things that have gone wrong that are their fault. Make excuses or passes the blame to others.
  • Things are never enough for them. They always want more, bigger, or better of whatever it may be that they currently have or are doing.
  • They do not express genuine gratitude when appropriate, such as getting a gift or a compliment. You as a parent are always having to prompt them to say “thank you”.
  • If their friend has something, the expectation is that they should have it too.
  • If they request a list of items for a birthday or holiday, then they expect that they will receive all of the items on their list. If they do not get all of the requested items, they will be disappointed, rather than grateful for what they did get.
  • They always seek to be the first and are upset or greatly disappointed when they are not the first (i.e. first in line, first to get a task completed, first to finish an exercise).

How to prevent entitlement

Preventing entitlement starts with the parent. It can start today. You have the power to say “yes” and to say “no” to your child. You, as parent, are the rule maker and can help pave the way to making your kids grateful rather than entitled. Below are some tips to pave the way with your family to preventing entitlement.

Stop doing

Stop doing everything for your child. Allow them to do things that they can do for themselves. If they are able to handle a complex video game, then they are more than capable of doing the dishes, raking leaves, making their bed, and more.

We don’t give our kids enough credit. They are far more capable then we recognize. Kids at the age of 5 are out on street corners selling candy and goods to tourists in third world countries. They make change for buyers, interact with their buyers, and work all day to help provide income for their family. Therefore, we can certainly expect our own 5 year-olds to make their bed, unload the dishwasher, and clean up their toys.

Children are smart, capable, and hard working when properly motivated. If the expectation is that they can complete a task then they will be able to do it. If the expectation is that they cannot do something, then they won’t be able to do it. You, the parent, are the agent to empower them to do things by asking, providing them with directions, and then setting the expectation that they will complete the task at hand.

Empower your children by doing less for them. If they are capable of doing something, then let them do it!

Teach them to be good losers

Your child will not win at everything. Therefore, they need to learn the art of being a gracious loser. From a young age, they should be taught to congratulate the winner and to shake their opponent’s hand. Talk to your child about winning and losing. Let them know it is ok to lose. It is an opportunity to learn and become better. They should congratulate the winner because someday they may be the winner and it will be nice to have others providing the congratulatory messages to them.

The world is a better place if we can be happy for the successes of others, especially if those people are friends and family. When playing games as a family or with friends, teach them by example. Congratulate the winners whole-heartedly and make the winner feel good about their achievement, even it if is just Chutes and Ladders.

For the losers, you say “better luck next time” and give them a genuine smile. Teach your child that these are the ways we show kindness to others, especially when we lose. This is a harder lesson for younger children to grasp, but be consistent with your own behavior and your insistence that they act the same way when they do not win. Eventually your hard work should pay off and you will have a child who has genuinely learned to be happy for others because they know what it is like to be a winner and a loser and they cannot win at all times.

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Use the opportunity of failure or losing to explain to your child about some of the greats in this world that did not at first succeed. Oprah did not get her first TV job she interviewed for and Tom Hanks dropped out of college and was a bellhop before he became famous. You can also use the opportunity to discuss what they did well in their game or whatever it was that they just lost. Point out the good and then ask them what they think they could improve upon. Let them think introspectively on this, rather than you pointing it out. Otherwise, you will just come across as the critical parent, which is insult to injury following a loss.

Talk about responsibility for their actions

We all have encountered that adult in life who constantly blames other people for the bad things that happen in their life. It is never their own fault. It is always someone else that has caused their demise. These adults were once children. This behavior likely started in childhood and they never overcame this attitude. They don’t know how to accept responsibility for their actions.

Parents must teach their children from a young age to take responsibility for their wrong doings. If they make a mistake they own up to it. Instead of belittling the child for their wrong doing, use it as a learning opportunity. Engage them in a discussion about what happened and why. Allow them to take responsibility and ownership of their role in the situation, yet follow it up with discussion on how it is an opportunity for the child to learn and grow. They can have a different course of action the next time something similar happens. Help them determine a better action for handling the situation, so the next time it arises, they are better equipped mentally and emotionally to take on the event, person, or circumstance.

“I am sorry” is a powerful phrase. Adults that fail to apologize, were not properly taught as kids to use this phrase. Teach your children to use it now and use it often. For the big mistakes and the little mistakes. When they apologize, they should be taught to be specific with their apology. “I am sorry for (fill in the blank)”. Taking responsibility means a heartfelt apology. Often they need to understand how their actions hurt the other person in order to provide a heartfelt apology. If they don’t understand how the other person is feeling, it is hard to feel sorry for the action. Therefore, a parent who can take the time to help the child understand how the hurt party is feeling will better equip your child with empathy and compassion.

For example, if your child stole their best friend’s new ball cap, then sit down and have a conversation with your child before you take them to their friend’s home to return the hat and apologize. You ask your child, “how would you feel if you had the hat stolen and it was something you worked hard for doing chores to raise the money to purchase the hat or it was a gift from a relative you love greatly?” Help them empathize with the loss that their friend may be feeling. Rather than yell at them for their wrong doing, use it as an opportunity to learn from their mistake and become better. Having to return the hat and apologize will be a punishment in itself.

Talk about the value of a dollar

It is important to talk about money from a young age. Children need to learn about the value of money and its essential nature in our lives. Talking about money and cost of living should be an on-going conversation in your household. They need to understand that food, a home, transportation, and clothing all require money. Money comes from working. They should also see that there are times when you too can’t have something you desire. Talk openly about a budget, so that one day when you say “it is not in the budget”, they understand what you mean.

It is difficult for a child to understand the value of a dollar if they have never had to earn one. One of the best ways for a child to learn to appreciate the value of a dollar is for them to earn money. If they are too young to be employed, they can still earn cash in the neighborhood shoveling driveways, babysitting, dog walking, pet sitting, and working for friends and neighbors. They can also begin doing household chores and be provided an allowance for the chores that they complete. If you already have chores and they are required as a part of being a member of the family or household, then provide extra jobs over and above the regular chores that they can then earn money for completing. The point is for them to earn it themselves. They do the work and they earn a fair wage.

Don’t be indulgent and over pay your child for the chores they complete or you are undermining your efforts to teach them the value of a dollar. Make a list of the chores and the amount of money they will earn for completing the jobs. This way they know what is exactly expected and how much money they can earn. Then when it comes time for the next special toy or technology they come asking for, you can help them earn it rather than give it to them.

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Just say no and make them work for it

You are the parent. You can say “no”. You should say “no”. Have you ever met a child who has never been told “no” by their parents? If you have, you know that child is the most spoiled kid in need of a serious attitude adjustment. When parents are quick to say yes all the time, then kids grow up thinking that the world will say “yes” to their every whim and desire. That’s not the real world though.

Our kids will experience rejection, heartache, and being told no many times in the course of their life. If they can experience it in the home and learn how to handle the “no” and deal with it, they are better off in the long run. They will be better equipped to handle a no in the real world, because you have said no enough times that they can emotionally handle the disappointment. They also know the alternatives. For example, if its a new video game that they want, you tell them no, you must earn it. From there the child goes to look at the chart and calculates which and how many of the chores they must complete in order to earn the video game. They will also learn other valuable skills in this process, such as time management, because they will need to set aside time every day for a number of days or weeks to complete all the tasks to earn the amount of money they need.

Saying “no” and providing alternatives for your child to earn what they want is empowering. You are teaching them to fish. An old proverb says,

“if you give a man a fish he will eat for a day, if you teach a man to fish he will eat for a lifetime”.

Teach your child how to earn for themselves so they can be better equipped for a lifetime.

Delayed gratification is also powerful. When children learn that they can earn something for themselves that they truly want, then when they do finally earn it they feel empowered. They worked hard and they made their goal happen. They earned it themselves. This is a powerful agent to help increase self esteem. Keep the chore list going, so that your child has the opportunity to grow their self worth by completing tasks and earning the things that they want in life.

Help them find gratitude

Much like teaching your children the art of being a good loser and how to apologize, teaching gratitude is an ongoing lesson. There is a saying,

“Gratitude begins where my sense of entitlement ends.”

Children learn to be grateful first when they do not get everything they desire. What happens when they get everything they want and ask for is that they expect everything they ask for. You set the expectation by saying “yes” too often. Allow for them to want. Not for basic necessities of course, but for things above and beyond the essentials in life. They will become grateful for the things that they do get when they are not handed everything they ask for.

Teach them to say thank you. Talk about how when someone gives them a nice gift that person (or their Mom or Dad) had to go to work to earn the money to buy that gift. Talk about how it is nice to have generous friends and family because not everyone has that in their life. Make them responsible for thanking others, both verbally and in writing. When your child receives a gift have them write a thank you note in return. It does not need to be long and eloquent. Just the practice of taking the time to write thank you and that the gift is appreciated helps them practice gratitude. They can carry this valuable skill into adulthood.

Grateful people are also happier people, so help your child see that they should be grateful for the blessings, big and small, in their life.

Help them practice giving back to other

Find opportunities for you and your child to give back to others. It can be through material things, but even more valuable when your time is given. Giving your time with your child to others is of great value and a great life lesson. Your child being exposed to others less fortunate is helpful in curbing entitlement.

Kids Giving Back supports families getting into their community to give back. They state,

We strongly believe that when young people volunteer they develop respect, resilience, and leadership skills, as well as the ability and opportunity to positively engage in the wider community. Our philosophy embraces volunteering as a two-way street, giving children and their families an opportunity to change lives, including their own.

Teaching your child to give back to others is empowering to them on so many levels from creating leadership skills, problem solving skills, and self esteem from the experience of helping others in need. Teaching kids that there are others in the world that have so much less than them will help them become more grateful. Having them serve others also makes them more service oriented and creates an awareness of the need to help others in this world.

Entitlement attitudes fall by the wayside when a child has learned the value and importance of helping others and giving to others in need.

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