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How To Be More Interesting? Talk About Your Feelings Not Facts

How To Be More Interesting? Talk About Your Feelings Not Facts

It’s your first day of work.

On your first step into the company, you were bombarded with unfamiliar faces. Your eagerness to meet new colleagues urged you to say something but you couldn’t find an interesting topic to start with.

Anxious about your words. Fear about leaving a boring impression to the others.

Palms are sweating. How not to be boring?

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Is being boring an inherent quality?

What makes a person interesting? The following qualities may come to your mind: Sense of humor, Extraordinary life experience. However, these qualities do not actually make a person interesting.

In fact, it is you that makes yourself an interesting or a boring person. None is born boring, nor is anyone more interesting than the others inherently. A seemingly boring person can become interesting if you know the tricks, being faithful to yourself and avoiding facts.

What do boring persons usually do?

One common talking style among boring persons is that they tend to be objective. They often talk about facts which the others are unable to better understand who they are through their fact-based content.

Communication is meant for boosting mutual understanding. Facts in no way can help achieve so. While finding an interesting book to read, you can choose to say, “the book is about the journey of an athlete to become a champion fighter”. You can also say, “I can relate myself a lot to the main character in the book I recently read. His perseverance motivates me a lot!”.

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How not to bore others?

Everyone has their own set of knowledge and interest. Sometimes, the others may not be interested by your topic. You can only interest the others if you can connect with them by sharing what you feel. Even if they are not amused by your topic, they can relate to your own feelings and be interested.

The most interesting person may not have the most interesting experience, instead they usually talk with rich emotions to catch the attention. Up to this point, you should have grasped the essence of how to be interesting, but how in real life can you practise to be interesting?

So now you know you need to talk more about your emotions. However, many have stuck in the process of only uttering a few words. This is a good start but it is far from enough to be interesting. Instead of using some common words for describing your feelings, say “happy”, “upset”, or “furious”, try to be more specific!

Why are you “happy”? In what way does it make you “upset”? How “furious” were you in that incident?

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Lack of self-understanding as the crux to boredom

If you struggle to do so, this means you may not understand your feelings well enough. Sometimes it is actually your lack of self understanding that makes you appear boring.

Here are a few tips which may help you learn to understand yourself better.

Keep a journal or jot down your feelings on your smartphones. Write about a major event happened that day. It can be anything that you have a strong emotion with. Talk to your inner self. Then describe clearly in words what and why you have the feeling and how the feeling is like.

For example, you can say, “Today I was scared to death because a fierce gigantic dog chased me. Dogs have always been my greatest fear in life. For one moment I thought I would die, either by the dog or by my own fear.” One important note is that: Don’t make up your emotions and be faithful to yourself. You may be frustrated at first if you couldn’t write a lot at the beginning but it is perfectly fine.

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With frequent practices, you can soon see improvements and progresses and you are now only steps away from being interesting!

Lastly, apply the skills on daily conversation and start talking more and deeper about your own feelings. Then, congratulations, you have grown into an interesting person!

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Jeffrey Lau

Editor. Sport Lover. Animal Lover.

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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