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How To Be More Interesting? Talk About Your Feelings Not Facts

How To Be More Interesting? Talk About Your Feelings Not Facts

It’s your first day of work.

On your first step into the company, you were bombarded with unfamiliar faces. Your eagerness to meet new colleagues urged you to say something but you couldn’t find an interesting topic to start with.

Anxious about your words. Fear about leaving a boring impression to the others.

Palms are sweating. How not to be boring?

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Is being boring an inherent quality?

What makes a person interesting? The following qualities may come to your mind: Sense of humor, Extraordinary life experience. However, these qualities do not actually make a person interesting.

In fact, it is you that makes yourself an interesting or a boring person. None is born boring, nor is anyone more interesting than the others inherently. A seemingly boring person can become interesting if you know the tricks, being faithful to yourself and avoiding facts.

What do boring persons usually do?

One common talking style among boring persons is that they tend to be objective. They often talk about facts which the others are unable to better understand who they are through their fact-based content.

Communication is meant for boosting mutual understanding. Facts in no way can help achieve so. While finding an interesting book to read, you can choose to say, “the book is about the journey of an athlete to become a champion fighter”. You can also say, “I can relate myself a lot to the main character in the book I recently read. His perseverance motivates me a lot!”.

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How not to bore others?

Everyone has their own set of knowledge and interest. Sometimes, the others may not be interested by your topic. You can only interest the others if you can connect with them by sharing what you feel. Even if they are not amused by your topic, they can relate to your own feelings and be interested.

The most interesting person may not have the most interesting experience, instead they usually talk with rich emotions to catch the attention. Up to this point, you should have grasped the essence of how to be interesting, but how in real life can you practise to be interesting?

So now you know you need to talk more about your emotions. However, many have stuck in the process of only uttering a few words. This is a good start but it is far from enough to be interesting. Instead of using some common words for describing your feelings, say “happy”, “upset”, or “furious”, try to be more specific!

Why are you “happy”? In what way does it make you “upset”? How “furious” were you in that incident?

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Lack of self-understanding as the crux to boredom

If you struggle to do so, this means you may not understand your feelings well enough. Sometimes it is actually your lack of self understanding that makes you appear boring.

Here are a few tips which may help you learn to understand yourself better.

Keep a journal or jot down your feelings on your smartphones. Write about a major event happened that day. It can be anything that you have a strong emotion with. Talk to your inner self. Then describe clearly in words what and why you have the feeling and how the feeling is like.

For example, you can say, “Today I was scared to death because a fierce gigantic dog chased me. Dogs have always been my greatest fear in life. For one moment I thought I would die, either by the dog or by my own fear.” One important note is that: Don’t make up your emotions and be faithful to yourself. You may be frustrated at first if you couldn’t write a lot at the beginning but it is perfectly fine.

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With frequent practices, you can soon see improvements and progresses and you are now only steps away from being interesting!

Lastly, apply the skills on daily conversation and start talking more and deeper about your own feelings. Then, congratulations, you have grown into an interesting person!

More by this author

Jeffrey Lau

Editor. Sport Lover. Animal Lover.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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