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4 Ways Introverts Nail Job Interviews Without Pretending To Be Extroverted

4 Ways Introverts Nail Job Interviews Without Pretending To Be Extroverted

If you’re an introvert like me, you probably find interviews nerve-wracking, frustrating, or even torturous. We truly know that we’re as capable as our extroverted peers. But the truth is that desirable jobs are taken by them. One after another.

This scenario may be familiar to you. You’re in the interview room with three other candidates to compete for your dream job. From the vibes and the body language of your opponents, you can sense that they’re typical extroverts. They look confident without the slightest sign of anxiety, as if they were having a gathering with their old friends. But you just feel uncomfortable in this unfamiliar environment. Just the thought of interacting with a group of new people already makes you feel drained. You force yourself to wear a smile and convince yourself that you’re the best actor in the world. Pretending to be extroverted for the following hour is just a breeze for you. Right?

The group discussion starts. Candidate A takes the lead to throw out ideas. The pace of the interview is totally under his control. He dominates the setting like a leader. One-third of the interview has passed, then you finally contribute a great idea. The interviewers keep nodding their heads to show appreciation of your answer. Just a while later, candidate B interrupts and casts doubt on your idea. While you’re still thinking how to respond to her properly, she acts quickly and bombards you with another question. You notice that candidate C struggles a bit with the topic being discussed. But when he starts speaking, everyone just can’t keep their eyes off him. He smiles handsomely. His intonation and gestures are so engaging that everyone immediately likes him and even seems to want to be his friend after the interview has ended.

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After you step out of the interview room, you can’t stop reflecting on the performance of your group. You can’t deny that your extroverted peers have their own edges you can learn from. But you’re sure that you’re the best candidate for the position. Not only does the quality of your ideas trump theirs, but also your introversion enables you to handle a job that involves a lot of independent work and attention to detail. A week later, you receive a rejection letter. You know that one of your extroverted peers gets the job you’ve longed for. At that moment, you feel like your confidence evaporates, and you question if today’s society knows how to appreciate the qualities possessed by introverts.

How to nail interviews even if they’re not favorable to you

Yes, it can be frustrating to think that interviews are not a favorable setting for introverts. But that doesn’t mean you can’t perform well while interviewing. The first thing you need to do is abandoning the thought that you need to pretend to be extroverted to win the entrance ticket to your dream job. Actually, almost half of the population is introverted.[1] Your tribe is everywhere in the world. Even the interviewers you dread are probably introverts. They DO know the power of introversion. You just need to demonstrate it with these 4 tricks:

1. Make personal connections

Introverts easily make others think that they’re not participatory or engaged in interviews. The main reason is that they don’t feel comfortable to maintain constant eye contact with the people they first meet. And sometimes they unknowingly exhibit gestures that mislead others to think they’re not friendly or reluctant to social interactions.

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To avoid sending the wrong messages, before entering the interview room, you can associate the interviewers you’re going to meet with your old friends and tell yourself that they’ll definitely like you. The mild adjustment of mindset can make you feel more connected to them. During the interview, you can demonstrate your strength of connecting with individuals by switching your eye contact between each interviewer from time to time. This can make you feel more calm without making any one of the interviewers feel left out.

2. Take your time answering questions

Another problem introverts commonly have in interviews is that they can’t respond to questions as quickly as extroverts. Science has proven that the brains of introverts and extroverts are wired differently.[2] Although introverts are better at thinking deeply, they need more time to organize their complex way of thinking.

If you really need some time to think before you speak, it’s definitely fine to tell interviewers you need a moment to formulate your ideas. It’s a common misconception that quick response means good answers. You can make up for the time you lose with high quality answers, which demonstrates you have a more detailed mind than your extroverted peers.

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3. Take self-discussion as sharing, not bragging

Unlike extroverts, introverts are less fond of sharing their thoughts with others instantly. They like to examine whether their thoughts are valid or consistent with their values before they speak. If you’re the introvert who equates talking about your achievements with bragging, you may find promoting yourself in interviews embarrassing and try to avoid it. And so, interviewers can’t see how you’re a strong candidate.

Talking about your achievements does not have to become bragging. Instead of stressing how capable you are explicitly, you can tell interviewers what you have learned from your experiences and how you can make use of your knowledge to contribute to the position you’re applying for. You can also talk about how you would keep honing your existing skills after you get the job.

4. Dare to show your introverted side

I don’t know why many people hold the misconception that we must act in interviews to get through them. The more outgoing, talkative, and pleasant you are in interviews, the more likely you will be liked by interviewers and get the job. Of course, everyone likes working with someone with the qualities I just mentioned. But how long you can put on the persona? It would be a bad idea that you fake your way through the interview to land a job not suitable for you.

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So just be yourself.[3] When you’re asked about your strengths and weaknesses, for example, you can acknowledge that, as an introvert, you find written communication more effective to you (of course, you’ll also tell interviewers how you will improve face-to-face communication with your colleagues). And then you can highlight the positive aspects of your introverted nature, like being a great listener and observer, something which your extroverted peers may lack. By showing who you genuinely are, you can behave more naturally and perform better in interviews.

Just as Susan Cains writes in her famous book “Quiet : The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”,[4] many introverts possess extraordinary talents and abilities that the world hasn’t discovered. That’s why you need to take a bold step forward to show your true colors to everyone, especially in settings you find dreadful. If I can do it, I believe you can do it as well!

Reference

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Ricky Tang

Editor. Movie Lover. Amateur Singer.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2019

15 Smart Ways to Approach Interpersonal Relationships at Work

15 Smart Ways to Approach Interpersonal Relationships at Work

Once you have embarked on your professional life, whether it is after college or high school, you will be making a transition to the workplace. If possible, it is good to find an employer that is flexible. In other words, one that possesses a culture that is diverse and tailors to the needs of its employees as a bottom line.

But, even if you don’t land your dream job right away, there are many ways to improve your experiences within the workplace as you climb the career ladder.

In the subsequent sections will be looking over ways to engage your relationships at work, including 15 ways to effectively approach interpersonal relationships at the workplace.

1. Open Up Cautiously

Depending on if its a startup, a small business, enterprise or corporation it’s important to be aware of your surroundings.

Be mindful of how much you open up about yourself, specifically regarding your personal life. You do not want to give the wrong impression, so be careful how much or what details you divulge about being in a relationship or having children.

You have to reach a certain comfort level and rapport with the rest of the staff to be able to engage in transparent conversations. A good general guideline is to stick to small talk.

2. Observe Your Surroundings

There will be times when we are summoned to have a leadership role or to undertake a project to lead a team.

Try not to be too bold or overcompensate at every turn when there is a meeting or an interaction among other staff or employees. The last thing you want to do is to be the person who wants to monopolize every conversation and every interaction.

Be a passive observer at first, and more often than not, you will learn a lot by letting others talk a lot about themselves.

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3. Listen Actively

It may seem redundant, but it is essential to practice the art of really listening to the other person.

Developing interpersonal skills and connections with others at work comes down to listening. It is not just paraphrasing what your superiors or colleagues are trying to communicate; it is about understanding what is at the core and reading between the lines.

Phrases like “I can see what you are saying” or “I can acknowledge your insight” are just some examples. Learn to empathize and relate with people with whom you have a genuine connection.

4. Consolidate All Feedback

When you learn to listen to others and to allow them to finish their thoughts you are on your way to be being a great communicator.

One of the toughest tasks to accomplish is to include everyone’s voice. Don’t rely on shout-outs or trying to come up with the best answer. Including everyone’s voice is about listening to all suggestions and putting together an entire picture. When everyone feels part of the process there is great cohesion.

5. Never Make Sweeping Judgements

As person and a human being with compassion never make any assumptions about anyone.

Just because they have a certain skin color, clothes or physical features, never make stereotypical or generalizations about anyone.

6. Keep Emotions in Check

Work-related stress is something we all have to deal with at some point or another. Whether you work in the public or private sector you will encounter stressors or stressful co-workers. In this case, it is good to keep open the lines of communications.

Always ask to clarify how a person feels and where they are coming from. It is better to entertain these conversations before they make a person lash out or have a negative reaction. Ask to speak privately and get feedback. When you do this it really shows you care about what your role is and that you are a true professional.

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7. Give Help to Others

Having compassion and empathy for others is a noble attitude to practice.

Though, do be careful about how much you want to get involved with colleagues at the office; it could jeopardize the nature of your work relationship and the roles you both have.

It’s best to separate the personal from the professional and lend a hand by using your best judgement.

8. Broaden Your Horizons

Once you have worked in a company or an organization, things can get repetitive and dull. Sometimes we need to remember that we are human and need to fulfill certain responsibilities.

Often we want to try to change things by introducing our best abilities or perhaps our inventions, but we need to be realistic. Change does not happen overnight, rather it is a long process.

Step back and take a look at the big picture, and, put all your cards on the table to get perspective. Sometimes we approach situations in life from the wrong point-of-view.

9. Be Optimistic

This is probably one you have heard time and time again.

When we suggest to have a positive attitude it does not mean to fake it until you make it, nor to conceal your feelings. This is not the case in this situation. Overall, you want to try to be authentic in how you are feeling, because life will throw curve balls that are beyond our control.

10. Be Sensitive to Cultural Norms

Whenever you are around other people within a professional workspace, do not make assumptions in trying to figure people out in an instant.

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Some cultures discourage physical contact, while others may be inviting. Always be courteous, respectful and ask questions. It will not only make you more aware of others’ needs, but show that you are considerate of the differences.

You do not want to get off on the wrong foot by being too friendly or too touchy. Just observe how people respond to your approach and let them lead the way of what is a safe practice to meet and greet the first time around.

11. Show Professionalism

How you interact and carry yourself around others will be the difference between a job promotion or losing your job. No matter what, always respectful and professional towards others.

You will have an opportunities in life and at work, so showcase an outpouring of great and positive energy in the face of adversity.

12. Get Involved with Activities

When you are part of a company, there are often opportunities for organized activities outside of the office space.

Sometimes it is worth exploring uncharted terrain and to get to know people in a different environment. Plus, you will have an opportunity to be seeing in a different light.

Even though you are off the clock, keep your professional tenure and set boundaries. You want to be vulnerable, but not put yourself in a comprising position. Use your intuition and common sense to evaluate these situations.

13. Get to Know Your Company

With your smartphone or your laptop, you have at your fingertips a mine of information online. Just as you would do before a job interview, conduct ample research to get familiarized with what your company does and how its branding is perceived via the media or social networks.

Rather than just focusing on doing your job and fulfilling the duties, see what the business is up to. It is fundamental to really know what organization you belong to. Get educated on what other ventures they are involved with as well as the ones that you are directly in the know about.

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14. Learn to Problem Solve

Problem solving is going to be a skill you will acquire with experience and by making mistakes. Furthermore, not only will you make mistakes but you will likely also sometimes fail. This is okay and is part of the natural swing of things!

Learn to take responsibility for your actions and decisions. At the same time, do not blame others for coming up short. When you come forward with the truth and responsibility, your supervisors or superiors will take notice of your authenticity.

One of the greatest gifts in life is fail and once you experience you start to get a different perspective on how to move forward at the job.

15. Do Some Prospecting

If you have coding, computer, language or other beneficial skills, be sure to pitch these at the right time.

When you start out new at a company it is best not to show all your cards. It is like poker: don’t let others see if you believe you have the upper hand. Take time to get familiarized with your company and organization before promoting your outside skillset.

You will know when to put forward your amazing talents, so proceed with caution.

Conclusion

Learning to refine your interpersonal skills is a lifelong process. In time, you will also became more effective and skillful after accumulating work-related experiences.

Exert humility, understanding, compassion, and mindfulness and the rewards will come!

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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