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If You Do These 7 Things Often, You’ve Bottled Up Your Feelings Too Much

If You Do These 7 Things Often, You’ve Bottled Up Your Feelings Too Much

Emotional repression is something we’ve all done at one point or another. Maybe you’ve experienced a break-up, and instead of allowing yourself to feel and work through your emotions, you just block out all the feelings and go on as if it never happened. We live in a world that teaches us all to be strong no matter what we’re going through. Here are a few things you could be doing that may mean you’re repressing your emotions too much.

1. You have a rough exterior

You’re that person at the funeral who is probably the only one who isn’t crying. You appear unaffected by your boyfriend breaking up with you. To those around you, you’d probably be described as someone who is unemotional. Believe it or not, there is no such thing as an unemotional person. Even psychopaths experience some sort emotion; it’s just not interpersonal empathy.

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But still never you, though, right? Of course not!

2. You have irrational anxieties

You may think that if you bottle up your feelings, they’ll just go away, but that’s not true. Eventually, they’re going to come out in irrational ways. Do you know someone who has a small ailment and then all of sudden they think they have three weeks to live? Yeah, probably not the friend who is the most in-touch with their emotions.

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3. You find the positive in every negative

Now you may be thinking: “that’s a good thing! It’s a good quality to be able to find the positive things in a negative situation.” Let’s say that you thought things were going well with you and your boyfriend and then out of nowhere he cuts it off. You meet up with your BFF for lunch, and she asks how you’re holding up. It’s something you’d rather not discuss so you tell her that you’re glad it happened because you didn’t see him as someone you’d spend the rest of your life with. But you both know that’s a lie. Being able to appear positive in every situation could mean you’re never confronting your real feelings.

4. You’re always on the go

It’s pretty exhausting to jump from one thing to the next. You’re one of those people who can’t sit still for more than an hour without starting to think about all the things you could be doing. You’d rather work 60 hour work weeks before taking a day for yourself to relax.

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5. You’re famous for pulling the disappearing act

So you’ve been talking to this guy for awhile, and things seem like they’re going pretty well. He’s keeping it cool and low-key and then one day he drops this bomb on you that he’s starting to develop feelings for you. YIKES! That’s just something you can’t handle, so you drop off the face of the earth for awhile until he pretty much forgets who you are and so you don’t have to deal with it.

6. You’re the sounding board for everyone

You know it, I know it, everyone knows it- it’s so much easier to give advice and deal with someone else’s emotions than it is to deal with your own. To take the attention away from your issues, you’re always readily available to take the time to help your friends sort out their emotional crises. And let’s be real- doing that can make you feel like you’re really in touch with your feelings. Here’s a little secret – it’s just a tactic you have to avoid your own.

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7. Always dating the wrong person

You always somehow end up dating the wrong person, but you never have to worry about becoming too close to them. If you’re able to avoid that emotional intimacy with someone, you don’t have to worry about dealing with those emotions yourself.

In all seriousness, though, your mind and your body are all that you have. The next time you find yourself feeling closed off and holding in the feelings that you feel you shouldn’t feel, remember that what your emotions are real. It’s okay and you’re okay. There is so much strength in being real.

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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