Advertising
Advertising

This Is How You Can Reprogram Your Mind And Boost Your Confidence

This Is How You Can Reprogram Your Mind And Boost Your Confidence

People with confidence seem to breeze through life with an unmistakable ease and grace. Fortunately, it’s not that they’re perfect. It’s just the way they are thinking.

Likelihood is, if you’re reading this article you’re already pretty confident in yourself. You’re wanting to improve this area of your life, which means you’re already self-aware enough to make that choice. Even just acting confident can mean you instantly feel more positive about yourself and the way you are perceived by others. But you might want to begin working at it from another angle. Why not try developing confidence from the inside out? Here’s how:

Advertising

You don’t need to try too hard

If someone is showing off in the boardroom or in any other area of life, they do not come across as confident. There is a saying in Texas that, “the smallest dog barks the loudest” and this applies here. It’s true. The person needing to talk loudly about their achievements or fish for compliments for validation will likely not be feeling very confident.

So, instead of thinking that you need to impress those around you, instead begin thinking thoughts like ‘I’ve got this’ or ‘I can do this.’ Think about ways in the past that you have killed it, and begin playing with the idea that you are a confident person now. That this is just how it’s going to be from now on.

Advertising

With this inner belief that you are confident and you don’t need to do any tricks to prove it, people will be more drawn to you. Your confidence will show through your work and clarity, because you’re no longer worried about what they think of you – you’re playing on another level.

Don’t buy people’s doubts; invest in positive role models

An unfortunate fact of life is that when we share our ambitions with friends or family the response will most likely be, ‘that’s hard to do,’ or ‘oh, I wouldn’t do that.’ But, fortunately they are not you, and each person has their own goals and drives.

Advertising

While some of these people we love and admire, we don’t have to take on what they say and believe it. But we can choose to surround ourselves with positive people who do support and encourage us to do what we want to do.

Believing in ourselves could be one of the most powerful confidence boosters and you can begin by simply listening to a podcast or an audiobook that makes you feel empowered. Anything that makes you feel like you can take on the world. Join a local group of people who are making things happen. Join a social media group of like-minded people. Whatever works to develop that belief in who you are and what you stand for.

Advertising

Make good choices consistently

Another confidence booster is to set up healthy habits that regularly improve our self-image. This could be anything, from holding a power pose every time before you go into a meeting, to going for a run, or even taking some extra time and care in the mirror during your morning routine. Whatever it is, it should be practiced at least once a week, and leave you feeling pretty darn good about yourself. Healthy habits improve our self-perception, thus boosting confidence levels and reducing stress.

This isn’t about moving mountains. Just deciding to exercise for ten minutes a week at first, for example, can begin that process to feeling fabulous in your own skin.

Advertising

Basically, when you make good choices on a regular basis, a snowball effect begins where your perceived self-image improves, and thus, your confidence. You feel that shift on the inside, that you are living with more purpose than before, consistently doing what fulfils you or makes you feel good will naturally help you to connect to yourself. And those who are fully connected to themselves exude confidence. It’s tangible. Effortless.

More by this author

Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

Do This One Thing To Comfort Your Overwhelming Negativity When I Stopped Being Afraid To Make Mistakes, I Started To Live A Better Life Mentally Strong People Mindset: Accept Failures Without Doubting Yourself Science Says Piano Players’ Brains Are Very Different From Everybody Else’s The 6 Leadership Styles That All Successful Leaders Use

Trending in Productivity

1 5 Values of an Effective Leader 2 How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them 3 The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work) 4 30 Practical Ideas to Create Your Best Morning Routine 5 Is People Management the Right Career Path for You?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

Advertising

From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

Advertising

The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

Advertising

But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

Advertising

Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

More on Building Habits

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Advertising

Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

Read Next