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This Is How You Can Reprogram Your Mind And Boost Your Confidence

This Is How You Can Reprogram Your Mind And Boost Your Confidence

People with confidence seem to breeze through life with an unmistakable ease and grace. Fortunately, it’s not that they’re perfect. It’s just the way they are thinking.

Likelihood is, if you’re reading this article you’re already pretty confident in yourself. You’re wanting to improve this area of your life, which means you’re already self-aware enough to make that choice. Even just acting confident can mean you instantly feel more positive about yourself and the way you are perceived by others. But you might want to begin working at it from another angle. Why not try developing confidence from the inside out? Here’s how:

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You don’t need to try too hard

If someone is showing off in the boardroom or in any other area of life, they do not come across as confident. There is a saying in Texas that, “the smallest dog barks the loudest” and this applies here. It’s true. The person needing to talk loudly about their achievements or fish for compliments for validation will likely not be feeling very confident.

So, instead of thinking that you need to impress those around you, instead begin thinking thoughts like ‘I’ve got this’ or ‘I can do this.’ Think about ways in the past that you have killed it, and begin playing with the idea that you are a confident person now. That this is just how it’s going to be from now on.

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With this inner belief that you are confident and you don’t need to do any tricks to prove it, people will be more drawn to you. Your confidence will show through your work and clarity, because you’re no longer worried about what they think of you – you’re playing on another level.

Don’t buy people’s doubts; invest in positive role models

An unfortunate fact of life is that when we share our ambitions with friends or family the response will most likely be, ‘that’s hard to do,’ or ‘oh, I wouldn’t do that.’ But, fortunately they are not you, and each person has their own goals and drives.

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While some of these people we love and admire, we don’t have to take on what they say and believe it. But we can choose to surround ourselves with positive people who do support and encourage us to do what we want to do.

Believing in ourselves could be one of the most powerful confidence boosters and you can begin by simply listening to a podcast or an audiobook that makes you feel empowered. Anything that makes you feel like you can take on the world. Join a local group of people who are making things happen. Join a social media group of like-minded people. Whatever works to develop that belief in who you are and what you stand for.

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Make good choices consistently

Another confidence booster is to set up healthy habits that regularly improve our self-image. This could be anything, from holding a power pose every time before you go into a meeting, to going for a run, or even taking some extra time and care in the mirror during your morning routine. Whatever it is, it should be practiced at least once a week, and leave you feeling pretty darn good about yourself. Healthy habits improve our self-perception, thus boosting confidence levels and reducing stress.

This isn’t about moving mountains. Just deciding to exercise for ten minutes a week at first, for example, can begin that process to feeling fabulous in your own skin.

Basically, when you make good choices on a regular basis, a snowball effect begins where your perceived self-image improves, and thus, your confidence. You feel that shift on the inside, that you are living with more purpose than before, consistently doing what fulfils you or makes you feel good will naturally help you to connect to yourself. And those who are fully connected to themselves exude confidence. It’s tangible. Effortless.

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Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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