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If You Want To Be More Decisive To Get What You Want, Remember These 4 Rules

If You Want To Be More Decisive To Get What You Want, Remember These 4 Rules

Have you ever met someone who could not make up their mind? Maybe it is a simple choice of cuisine:  Chinese or Indian. Or maybe the decision is a bit more serious like which school should we send our children to: public or private. Regardless of the decision, decisiveness is key to moving forward with daily responsibilities and getting what we want out of life.

Decisive people send a message to the world that they know who they are and what path they have decided to pursue in life. It is the difference between knowing who is goal-oriented or just wasting their time being wishy washy in life and about life. People who don’t make up their mind about simple decisions struggle with choosing a solution for larger dilemmas. Make sure you are decisive in life to fulfill your future dreams and get what you want out of life. In fact, consider these four rules as you move forward:

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1. Fight the Fear

Fear shows its ugly head in a variety of ways. Indecisiveness is one of those ways. If you or a friend struggle making decisions, what are you afraid of? Taking a moment to name your fears and question the authenticity of the concerns. This step can go a long way in helping you understand yourself. It can also help you determine what is a real fear and what is an irrational concern. When we know what we are afraid of, we can then question the reality of the concern and, hopefully, move forward.

Questioning the fears is also a way to discern the best course of action. When we know what we want, we normally strive to get it. Fighting fear to get what we want is imperative to live a happy life.

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2. Decide to Delay

Set a time limit for the decision that needs to be made. If you don’t want to decide right away, don’t. But create a deadline as to when you will state your choice about the dilemma at hand. This is one way to take the time necessary for research or to examine your fears, if there are any.

3. Take a Risk

It takes courage to move forward into the unknown. It is risky business to decide a course of action without any hardcore proof that the results will produce the desired output. However, if we lived our lives on the safe side, not wanting to make any decision unless we knew the outcome, we may wait forever.

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Courageously decide to state your choice of the options available. Use the gifts of reasoning and insight to delete the undesired, expected outcomes of certain choices. Then, with the remaining options left, pick one. You can positively project into the future what might happen based on the decision you choose. But with a positive attitude and pure motives, it is highly likely the results will be desirable.

4. Consult an Advisor

Sharing is caring. Taking the time to share your concerns with a trusted friend, mentor or advisor is one way to demonstrate you care about the impact this decision could make.  It is also a way to step into a role of leadership that highlights the magnitude of responsibility the decision entails.

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There is nothing wrong with not knowing what to do. But there is something wrong with being reckless and not making a decision at all. If you find yourself over analyzing the options or too afraid to think about the situation, maybe this is a great time to talk to someone who is not as emotionally connected to the problem. Their level-headed assessment could make the difference between a good decision and a bad one. Their opinion could help you determine what outcomes could likely occur.

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Michelle Owens

Freelance Writer/Editor

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Last Updated on March 31, 2020

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How often do you find yourself procrastinating? Do you wish you could procrastinate less? We all know how debilitating procrastination can make us feel, and it seems to be a challenge we all share. Procrastination is one of the biggest hindrances to moving forward and doing the things that we want to in life.

There are many reasons why you might be procrastinating, and sometimes, it is really difficult to pinpoint why. You might be procrastinating because of something related to the past, present, or future (they are all intertwined), or it could be as simple as biological factors. Whatever the reason, most of us follow a cycle when we procrastinate, from the moment we decide to do something to actually getting it done, or in this case, not getting it done.

The Vicious Procrastination Cycle

For some reason, it helps to understand that we all go through the same thing, even though we often feel like the only person in the world who struggles with this. Do you resonate with the cycle below?

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it!

2. Apprehension Starts to Come Up

The beginning stages of optimism are starting to fade. There is still time, but you haven’t done anything yet, and you start to feel uneasy. You realize that you actually have to do something to get it done, and that good intentions are not enough.

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3. Still No Action

More time has passed. You still haven’t taken any action and probably have a lot of excuses why. You start to panic a little and wish you had started sooner. Your panic starts to turn into frustration and perhaps even irritability.

4. Flicker of Hope Left

You can still make it; there is a little time left and you ponder how you are going to get it done. The rush you get from leaving your task until the last minute gives you a flicker of hope. There is still time; you can do this!

5. Fading Quickly

Your hope starts to quickly fade as you try desperately to understand why you just can’t do this. You may feel desperate and have thoughts like, “What is wrong with me?” and “Why do I ALWAYS do this?” You feel discouraged, or perhaps angry and resentful at yourself.

6. Vow to Yourself

Once the feeling of anger or disappointment disappears, you most likely swear to yourself that this will never happen again; that this was the last time and next time will be different.

Does this sound like you? Is the next time different? I understand the devastating effect that procrastination has on many lives, and for some, it is a really serious problem. You also have, on the other hand, those who procrastinate but it doesn’t affect them in any way. You know whether it is affecting you or not and whether it undermines your results.

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How to Break the Procrastination Cycle

Unless you break the cycle, you will keep reinforcing it!

To break the cycle, you need to change the sequence of events. Here is my suggestion on how you can effectively break the vicious cycle you are in!

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it! The first stage is always the same.

2. Plan

Thinking alone will not help; you need to plan your actions. I always put my deadlines one or two days in advance because you know Murphy’s Law! Take into consideration everything that you need to do, how long it will take you, and what you will need to get it done, then plan the individual steps.

3. Resistance

Just because you planned doesn’t mean that this time is guaranteed to be different. You will most likely still feel the resistance so expect this. This stage is key to identifying why you are procrastinating, so when you feel the resistance, try to identify it immediately.

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What is causing you to hesitate in this moment? What do you feel?  Write them down if it helps.

4. Confront Those Feelings

Once you have identified what could possibly be holding you back, for example, fear of failure, lack of motivation, etc. You need to work on lessening the resistance.

Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to move forward? What would make it easier?” If you find that you fear something, overcoming that fear is not something that will happen overnight — keep this in mind.

5. Put Results Before Comfort

You need to keep moving forward and put results before comfort. Take action, even if it is only for 10 minutes. The key is to break the cycle and not reinforce it. You have more control that you think.

6. Repeat

Repeat steps 3-5 until you achieve what you first set out to do.

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Final Thoughts

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and if you have some deeper underlying reasons why you procrastinate, it may take longer to finally break the cycle.

If procrastination is holding you back in life, it is better to deal with it now than to deal with the negative consequences later on. It is not a question of comfort anymore; it is a question of results. What is more important to you?

Learn more about how to stop procrastinating here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

Featured photo credit: Luke Chesser via unsplash.com

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