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Don’t Be Afraid To Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken.

Don’t Be Afraid To Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken.

It is a common phrase of advice. You hear it all the time.  ‘Just be yourself.’ It sounds like a great achievement we all strive toward. But hold on a minute. What does this mean?
It’s confusing — Is a narcissist supposed to stay narcissistic because of who they are? Should people with social phobias just stay locked in their walls?

The true self are fearless and unmasked.

Now think about this: the narcissist and the hermit are not being who they really are. They are overshadowed by their self-fear and thoughts. True selves are letting go of labels and clouded judgments placed on us. No pretentious masks. We are who we are when we shed off cloaks of other people. When we claim ‘this is who I am’, it is just a self-assumption. A lifetime of accumulated beliefs and thoughts are ingrained in you to shape your life and you need to reshape into the real you.

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Reach your ‘inner child’  and loosen up a little bit.

Noticed how children freely do what they want to do and care little what the rest think? They stay happy in their moment. This is representative of true nature. They have not yet been socialized to fit in the norm. They do not care if people may think they are silly or reckless.

When we try to fit in the society, we suppress the true self-nature built from fearful thoughts about what others may think. If you are worried about being judged, it is not the real you that you’re worrying about, it is the you that’s created by the social norm.

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Get in touch with you. Be available to yourself.

Be aware of the quality of your thoughts. Allow yourself some quiet moments every day. Observe your thoughts carefully. Our unconscious beliefs have been handed down by others, and this is who we believe we are. Let go of old beliefs that boggle your present and reveal the true you. We are more than that old ingrained negative thoughts.

Follow your intuition.

The most important part of being you is to follow your intuition. When you feel obligated to others, their happiness becomes more important than yours. You ignore your urge to move to a new place, you stay at unfulfilling jobs because you are afraid of what others may think of you. Stepping out of the comfort zones make you look like a failure to others, so you stick to your old habits and build incredible unhappiness.

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When you start following your urges and desires, you hop onto a pathway destined for awesomeness. No denying there may be humps and bumps on the road, but when you are aligned with the calling of your inner soul, you steer into the best direction ahead. If you are miserable in a job that is out of character for you, quit it. You will land back on your feet in time in an even better job.

Free yourself.

Evaluate how much you care about other people’s perceptions of you, and you may find that you’ve stuffed your natural self away into a binding locked box. Suppressing yourself to fit in and please others may bring you anger, depression, and shyness which is not really the true you.

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When you feel like getting attached to labels or stories, relax, breathe and get into the moment. Think about how you would act in that situation if you did not care what other thought of you. Let go of the thoughts about how others think about you, do what you love, and you’ll connect your true nature with your inner happiness, allowing your real self to shine.

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Nena Tenacity

Nena is passionate about writing. She shares her everyday health and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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