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Don’t Be Afraid To Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken.

Don’t Be Afraid To Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken.

It is a common phrase of advice. You hear it all the time.  ‘Just be yourself.’ It sounds like a great achievement we all strive toward. But hold on a minute. What does this mean?
It’s confusing — Is a narcissist supposed to stay narcissistic because of who they are? Should people with social phobias just stay locked in their walls?

The true self are fearless and unmasked.

Now think about this: the narcissist and the hermit are not being who they really are. They are overshadowed by their self-fear and thoughts. True selves are letting go of labels and clouded judgments placed on us. No pretentious masks. We are who we are when we shed off cloaks of other people. When we claim ‘this is who I am’, it is just a self-assumption. A lifetime of accumulated beliefs and thoughts are ingrained in you to shape your life and you need to reshape into the real you.

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Reach your ‘inner child’  and loosen up a little bit.

Noticed how children freely do what they want to do and care little what the rest think? They stay happy in their moment. This is representative of true nature. They have not yet been socialized to fit in the norm. They do not care if people may think they are silly or reckless.

When we try to fit in the society, we suppress the true self-nature built from fearful thoughts about what others may think. If you are worried about being judged, it is not the real you that you’re worrying about, it is the you that’s created by the social norm.

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Get in touch with you. Be available to yourself.

Be aware of the quality of your thoughts. Allow yourself some quiet moments every day. Observe your thoughts carefully. Our unconscious beliefs have been handed down by others, and this is who we believe we are. Let go of old beliefs that boggle your present and reveal the true you. We are more than that old ingrained negative thoughts.

Follow your intuition.

The most important part of being you is to follow your intuition. When you feel obligated to others, their happiness becomes more important than yours. You ignore your urge to move to a new place, you stay at unfulfilling jobs because you are afraid of what others may think of you. Stepping out of the comfort zones make you look like a failure to others, so you stick to your old habits and build incredible unhappiness.

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When you start following your urges and desires, you hop onto a pathway destined for awesomeness. No denying there may be humps and bumps on the road, but when you are aligned with the calling of your inner soul, you steer into the best direction ahead. If you are miserable in a job that is out of character for you, quit it. You will land back on your feet in time in an even better job.

Free yourself.

Evaluate how much you care about other people’s perceptions of you, and you may find that you’ve stuffed your natural self away into a binding locked box. Suppressing yourself to fit in and please others may bring you anger, depression, and shyness which is not really the true you.

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When you feel like getting attached to labels or stories, relax, breathe and get into the moment. Think about how you would act in that situation if you did not care what other thought of you. Let go of the thoughts about how others think about you, do what you love, and you’ll connect your true nature with your inner happiness, allowing your real self to shine.

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Nena Tenacity

Nena is passionate about writing. She shares her everyday health and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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