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When I Change The Way I Look At Things, The Things I Look At Change

When I Change The Way I Look At Things, The Things I Look At Change

We call ourselves the greatest species on earth.

Then it’s only fair that our greatest enemies are ourselves.

Relationships, work, school – it is as if every time you try to take a step forward, your mind whispers to you about how things could be done better, how you should have chosen this option instead of the other one, or how you were the cause of this and that catastrophe.

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What do you do when your mind – someone who is supposed to be your best friend – turned against you? How do you jump out of that self-blaming cycle when you are the one who stuck your foot in the mud in the first place? How do you succeed when your mind just couldn’t acknowledge the small, slow but sure steps you are taking?

Understand this: We see things not as they are but as we are.

First and foremost, we must acknowledge one thing: rarely do we see reality as it is. Be it a friend, a stranger or yourself, we almost always look at them through the colored lens as what we think they are. We have subconsciously allowed our perceptions to dictate what we see. And it’s not completely wrong. It is a system that allows us to quickly come up with decisions and judge whether if someone, or something, is good news.

However, this system is also easily prone to error. It is too often that we have already made the final verdict before we even took the time to understand the person or matter.

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“I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential.” — Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love.

We see the potential – good or bad – in things and in life, instead of what they actually are. We hope for the best things and dread the worst. As a result, we are constantly pushed from one extreme to another. We are always riding on an emotional roller coaster – no wonder we feel exhausted all the time.

Stop engaging in an all-or-nothing thinking.

Our minds perceive not only the people and things around us, but ourselves as well.

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Have you ever felt frustrated at yourself when you didn’t manage to follow that workout routine? Have you ever felt disappointed when you didn’t get a perfect score at an exam?

The moment we set our goals at achieving perfection, we are almost doomed to fail. We have to stop telling ourselves that not winning equals to losing. Sometimes, we falter, trip and fall. What matters most is for us to stand up once again and start running again. Let yourself know that it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s alright to take a break sometimes. Your life is a marathon – you got to keep going.

Start positive self-talk.

You would notice that we’ve been talking about our minds as if it’s a sentient being. To be frank, it’s not that far from it. Kali Rogers stated that inner monologues could dictate our emotions, and are even responsible for our self-esteem and worldview.[1] Therefore, take note of your conversations with the mind. Are they negative? Are they laced with words of hate, guilt and anger? Are they solemn, morbid and desperate?

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Once you recognize what you are hard on yourself for, start to talk positively with your mind. Cheer yourself up – by telling yourself how great you are every day. Convince it. Persuade it. It might be annoyed. But eventually, it will cave in, and start accepting that you are, in all honesty, an awesome person!

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change too.

Indeed, we could be lost within the confines of our minds sometimes. But it’s okay. Remember: it’s a battle of attrition. It’s a lifelong struggle to stop yourself from being biased towards others and yourself. Take your time, and gradually, gently guide your perceptions. When you change the way you look at things, eventually you would realize that the things you look at will change too.

Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via Picjumbo.com

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Eamon Suen

Student, The Hong Kong University of Science and Technology

Life Is Not Supposed To Be Fair, We’re Supposed to Learn To Live With It If You Want To Be Successful, You May Need To Cut Off Something From Life The Earlier You Understand These Truths Of Happiness The Better Accept Where You Are And Happiness Is At Your Fingertips Your New Habits Will Stick With These 5 Killer Strategies

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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