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Conforming To The Rules Followed By 99% Of People Is A Huge Blunder

Conforming To The Rules Followed By 99% Of People Is A Huge Blunder

Do you sometimes stop and question why you do things or think in a certain way? Imagine you’ve been asked to go into a room and wait with a group of strangers. You’re the last to walk in and see everyone standing by their seats but no one sits down. What do you do? Some part of you would probably question why people are opting to stand instead of sit, but chances are you’d probably decide to stand too.

Why? Because we all try to conform with those around us. This situation is a simple one but it illustrates our tendency to conform to social pressure in an attempt to feel accepted and not outcast ourselves.

Conformity Takes Away Your Sense of Self

The definition of conformity reads as ‘a type of social influence involving a change in belief or behaviour in order to fit in with a group.'[1] When we are born, we’re instantly moulded by the beliefs and attitudes of those around us, as were our parents’ and their parents’ before. But while this is looked at as a moral set of rules for us to live by, it can diminish our true sense of self making us afraid to do the things that ignite our passions and dreams.

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You may want to try your hand at becoming a writer but society says becoming a doctor is much more worthwhile so you take that path instead. You want to pack your bags and travel the world but parents and loved ones think going to university would be much more beneficial and sensible.

Even up until recently, hiding our true sexuality was necessary to avoid social exclusion and a limited quality of life all because hetrosexuality was the only acceptable form. This is demonstrating that conforming to ideals and what society deems ‘correct and incorrect’ takes away part of your identity and happiness.

It Restricts Your Happiness

Most people conform so much that they accept living their lives in order to keep in line with what other people think. But the problem comes when a sense of unhappiness that comes from not following your true path.

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Most people experience this as feeling lost in life or even described as going through a ‘mid-life crisis’ when they realise life hasn’t quite gone to plan. However, this can manifest as a result of years spent needing to conform rather than living the way that will make you the happiest.

Social conformity has the power to restrict our sense of freedom to pursue our dreams and pops up in the decision process for many of our most important decisions. But ask yourself – if no one judged what you did as a career, what person you dated or married, where you lived and how you chose to live your life, would you do anything differently?

Don’t Be Afraid To Embrace Your Individuality

The main problem with conformity and rules is the demise of individuality and our uniqueness. While many people do live this way, it is still sometimes met with hostility and a sense of judgement from people close or society as a whole.

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We live in a world that tells us we need to stand out from the crowd to be successful, but on the other hand expressing your individualism can be deemed negative. Expressing your individual style, opinions, thoughts and beliefs can often label us as attention-seeking or eccentric but who is really setting these ‘rules’?

Learning to embrace who we really are and how we live our life will bring us true happiness we all strive to find and create. Breaking free of the fear of non-conformity can bring more prosperity and contentedness into each day.

So next time you feel you’re making a decision where you contemplate what ‘society’ would think – what’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – ask yourself who set those standards and do you really want to conform to them?

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Simple Psychology: What is Conformity?

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on October 6, 2020

15 Things Highly Confident People Don’t Do

15 Things Highly Confident People Don’t Do

Highly confident people believe in their ability to achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else put their faith in you? To walk with swagger and improve your self-confidence, watch out for these fifteen things highly confident people don’t do.

And if you want to know the difference between an arrogant person and a confident person, watch this video first:

 

1. They don’t make excuses.

Highly confident people take ownership of their thoughts and actions. They don’t blame the traffic for being tardy at work; they were late. They don’t excuse their short-comings with excuses like “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; they make the time and they keep on improving until they are good enough.

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2. They don’t avoid doing the scary thing.

Highly confident people don’t let fear dominate their lives. They know that the things they are afraid of doing are often the very same things that they need to do in order to evolve into the person they are meant to be.

3. They don’t live in a bubble of comfort.

Highly confident people avoid the comfort zone, because they know this is a place where dreams die. They actively pursue a feeling of discomfort, because they know stretching themselves is mandatory for their success.

4. They don’t put things off until next week.

Highly confident people know that a good plan executed today is better than a great plan executed someday. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear of change. They take action here, now, today – because that’s where progress happens.

5. They don’t obsess over the opinions of others.

Highly confident people don’t get caught up in negative feedback. While they do care about the well-being of others and aim to make a positive impact in the world, they don’t get caught up in negative opinions that they can’t do anything about. They know that their true friends will accept them as they are, and they don’t concern themselves with the rest.

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6. They don’t judge people.

Highly confident people have no tolerance for unnecessary, self-inflicted drama. They don’t feel the need to insult friends behind their backs, participate in gossip about fellow co-workers or lash out at folks with different opinions. They are so comfortable in who they are that they feel no need to look down on other people.

7. They don’t let lack of resources stop them.

Highly confident people can make use of whatever resources they have, no matter how big or small. They know that all things are possible with creativity and a refusal to quit. They don’t agonize over setbacks, but rather focus on finding a solution.

8. They don’t make comparisons.

Highly confident people know that they are not competing with any other person. They compete with no other individual except the person they were yesterday. They know that every person is living a story so unique that drawing comparisons would be an absurd and simplistic exercise in futility.

9. They don’t find joy in people-pleasing.

Highly confident people have no interest in pleasing every person they meet. They are aware that not all people get along, and that’s just how life works. They focus on the quality of their relationships, instead of the quantity of them.

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10. They don’t need constant reassurance.

Highly confident people aren’t in need of hand-holding. They know that life isn’t fair and things won’t always go their way. While they can’t control every event in their life, they focus on their power to react in a positive way that moves them forward.

11. They don’t avoid life’s inconvenient truths.

Highly confident people confront life’s issues at the root before the disease can spread any farther. They know that problems left unaddressed have a way of multiplying as the days, weeks and months go by. They would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with their partner today than sweep an inconvenient truth under the rug, putting trust at risk.

12. They don’t quit because of minor set-backs.

Highly confident people get back up every time they fall down. They know that failure is an unavoidable part of the growth process. They are like a detective, searching for clues that reveal why this approach didn’t work. After modifying their plan, they try again (but better this time).

13. They don’t require anyone’s permission to act.

Highly confident people take action without hesitation. Every day, they remind themselves, “If not me, who?”

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14. They don’t limit themselves to a small toolbox.

Highly confident people don’t limit themselves to Plan A. They make use of any and all weapons that are at their disposal, relentlessly testing the effectiveness of every approach, until they identify the strategies that offer the most results for the least cost in time and effort.

15. They don’t blindly accept what they read on the Internet as “truth” without thinking about it.

Highly confident people don’t accept articles on the Internet as truth just because some author “said so”. They look at every how-to article from the lens of their unique perspective. They maintain a healthy skepticism, making use of any material that is relevant to their lives, and forgetting about the rest. While articles like this are a fun and interesting thought-exercise, highly confident people know that they are the only person with the power to decide what “confidence” means.

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