Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways to Raise Supergirl

5 Ways to Raise Supergirl

A few months ago, I wrote an article to my beautiful daughter, which you can find here 5 Ways My Daughter Made Me a Better Man.

When I read about or witness evil things taking place in this world, it makes me wonder if there is even hope for anyone in this evil place. Then I look at my wonderful daughter. She is the reason to keep trying, she is what is great about living in this world.

When I think about empowering my daughter and helping her to become a strong and positive woman, I think of Supergirl. Supergirl is an empowered woman who takes action, makes positive choices, and is a positive role model for girls across the world.

So how do you raise Supergirl? My response to this question is not your typical list of characteristics. My response and advice to raising Supergirl is based on my hope that my daughter truly lives her life to the fullest.

Advertising

Here are 5 things my wife and I plan on asking or telling our daughter so she may grow to be our Supergirl:

1. What Do You Desire?

“If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it; for it is hard to be sought out, and difficult.” – Heraclitus

Ask yourself this simple question, “What do you desire?” Not, what do your family or community or friends desire of you, but, what do YOU desire?

Alan Watts provides sage advice to this question, “So I always ask the question…what would you do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life? When we finally got down to something, which the individual says he really wants to do, I will say to him, you do that and forget the money, because, if you say that getting the money is important, you will spend your life completely wasting your time.”

Advertising

Don’t worry so much about how you will get to your desire, the important thing is to figure out where and what your desire is. Once the where and what are clear, the how will take care of itself.

2. Question Everything

“In order to reach the truth, it is necessary, once in one’s life, to put everything in doubt–so far as possible.” – Descartes

Learn to question everything from everyone, even your mother and I. Learn to ask the question, “What if we are wrong?” Our entire life, we are raised with specific beliefs. These beliefs are pounded into our head. I firmly believe that my beliefs are correct, however, what if they are not…what if I am wrong? Do not ever be afraid to ask this question.

3. Recognize That There Is Evil in This World

“Each day we are becoming a creature of splendid glory or one of unthinkable horror.” – C.S. Lewis

Life is full of great wonders and limitless possibilities. However, it is also full of evil. There are people in this world who will not hesitate to hurt you. These people live in a world where you are an object to be manipulated and exploited. These people will create illusions; illusions of love with intention of destruction.

Be cautious and vigilant with everyone you come into contact with, especially the internet community. Recognize that these are real people and there are places on the internet that are no different than walking down a dark alley in East Saint Louis.

4. Fight!

“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.” – George Carlin

You must learn to fight for yourself and your family. The world can be an extremely evil place and you must be prepared to defend yourself at all times. Learning how to fight will make you more confident. It will change the way you think about life and force you to keep your mind and body in peak physical condition.

Advertising

Learning how to fight means that you train, not just your body, but your mind as well. Learn how to identify situations where evil things could exist. Learning how to fight will not fully prepare for every situation, but ask yourself what is better–to know how to defend yourself and give yourself those precious few seconds to call for help–or to not know how and just give up?

5. Transcend Limiting Beliefs

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

Move through life knowing that the limits to your abilities simply do not exist. One way to do this is to find people who are smarter or those who have accomplished more than you. Trust me, there is always someone. If you are able to admit that there is always someone ahead of you, and you eliminate the need to compete with them, you will experience exponential growth. Then keep growing. Once you advance to their level of achievement, continue to find smarter people.

Use the following advice as you take the next step: 1) If you don’t go after your desire, you will never have it. 2) You have to ask, otherwise the answer will always be no. 3) If you don’t take the next step, you will always be in the same place.

Advertising

Remember this last piece of advice, “It seems to me the most incomparable tragedy to live one’s life only to realize at the end of it that one never truly lived it at all.” – Alan Watts

More by this author

Dr. Jamie Schwandt

Lean Six Sigma Master Black Belt & Red Team Critical Thinker

5 Proven Memorization Techniques to Make the Most of Your Memory 10 Hacks to Increase Your Brain IQ, Focus and Creativity 9 Game Changing Tips on How to Write Goals (and Reach Them!) Creative Brain Test: 10 Best Ways To Test Your Creative Intelligence How to Be a Maverick and Develop a Maverick Mindset

Trending in Child Development

1 Want Your Kids To Be Happy For A Lifetime? Make Them Feel Secure In The Early Days 2 Necessary Steps When Teaching Your Teenager to Drive 3 5 Tips For Teaching Money Management To Children 4 7 Effective Tips for Your Child’s Positive Growth 5 5 Ways to Ease Back to Work Without Nanny Anxiety

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

Advertising

The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

Advertising

As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

Advertising

I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

Advertising

The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next