Advertising
Advertising

The Hardest Truth People Learn That Makes Them Much More Successful Than The Others

The Hardest Truth People Learn That Makes Them Much More Successful Than The Others

Do you sometimes wonder why some people are much more successful than the others? Are they really more intelligent? Is it something to do with inborn talents? Or is it all a matter of luck?

Most of us know people who seem to lead much better lives than us. They seem to have it so much easier. As if success was just handed to them on a silver platter for them to enjoy. We admire and are often jealous of such acquaintances and colleagues.

The question is, what is it about them that makes them so different and more prone to success? The answer is quite simple. The problem isn’t with them. It’s with us.

And The Hardest Truth Is This:

The hardest truth that we need to know is this: everybody, and yes EVERYBODY sucks at the beginning. And here’s what most people do: they try a little bit, stumble and just give up way too soon. Only those who persist and persevere at all costs are the successful ones.

As this Quora user [1] points out:

Advertising

Your first 100 blog posts will suck.

Your first 5 books will suck.

Your first 30 talks in public will suck.

Your first 50 paintings will suck.

Your first 100 songs will suck.

Your first 40 YouTube videos will suck.

Yes, I made all of those numbers up.

And it doesn’t matter.

What matters is to understand that you’ll suck at everything in the beginning.

Just like I suck at everything in the beginning.

Just like everybody else sucks at everything in the beginning.

It all takes time. And persistence. And patience.

Most people rush through life. So they don’t have enough time.

Most people believe in overnight success. So they just stop when it doesn’t happen over night.

Most people get everything they want right away. So if they don’t, they just want something else.

So most people just give up.

And everything sucks..

This Is What You Gotta Do

So there you have it. The secret of life. If you want to be good at something, practice, practice and practice. Do whatever it takes to get there. At first you’re going to stumble, perhaps even injure yourself really bad and almost give up. And that is the crucial moment where you have to decide: do you want to go back to your normal life and remain a failure? Or do you want to try again, fail a little and keep trying till you get there?

Let’s say you’re a writer. Your first novel might not sell well but that doesn’t mean you should go back to a 9 to 5 job that sucks out all your creativity. Even when the rejection letters keep piling, you know you have a long road ahead. If you’re an athelete and you’ve lost miserably in a championship, it means that you’re destined for success- all you have to do is to put in more effort. If you’re a graphic designer and you aren’t getting enough clients- it means you have to be grateful for how far you’ve come and dive deeper into your work and produce more outstanding stuff. Whatever you do, don’t stop trying and don’t stop believing.

And Here Are The Famous People Who Failed

Do you want real life examples  [2] ? Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV job as an anchor and now she’s a billionaire with her own TV show. Steven Spielberg was rejected TWICE by the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts. Walt Disney was told by his newspaper editor that he ‘lacked imagination and had no good ideas’. And Stephen King’s first book Carrie was rejected 30 times before it saw light of day and spawned a franchise.

Advertising

So wherever you are and whatever you do, remember this: if you want to be successful, you’re going to suck A LOT at first, but don’t let failure get you down.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

[1] Quora: What is the hardest truth you had to accept that made you stronger
[2] http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/15-highly-successful-people-who-failed-their-way-success.html

More by this author

Archita Mittra

wordsmith, graphic designer, ideator, creative consultant, full time freelancer

The Hardest Truth People Learn That Makes Them Much More Successful Than The Others There’re 3 Types Of People When It Comes To Making/Keeping Friends. Which One Are You? This Woman Restores Old Van To Travel Around The World With Her Rescue Dog This Brilliant Gmail Hack Will Let You Know Who’s Shared Your Email With Third Parties Shocking! Does Soy Really Disrupt Hormones?

Trending in Communication

1 When Should You Trust Your Gut and How? 2 What Is Life About? 9 Ways to Find Your Meaning in Life 3 7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside 4 Focus On Yourself, Because Most Of The Time No One Really Cares 5 10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 12, 2020

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

Learning how to trust your gut, otherwise known as your intuition, can keep you safe. Your gut can guide you and help you build your confidence and resilience. My own gut instinct has saved me on more than one occasion. It has also guided me into making sound career choices and other exciting, big decisions. I’m also aware of the times when I’ve gone against my instincts and really regretted it later, wondering why I didn’t tune in to that valuable internal voice that we all have within us.

In this article, we’re going to explore why and how you should listen to your gut, as well as some concrete tips on how to make sure you’re making the most out of your gut instincts.

How to Listen to Your Gut

The key when making any big decision is to always take a minute to listen well to yourself and your inner compass. If you hear your actual voice saying yes while inside you’re silently screaming no, my advice is to ask for some time to think, or simply take a breath and pause before the yes or no escapes your mouth.

Use that moment to breathe, check in with yourself, and give the answer that feels congruent with who you are and what you want, not the one that always involves following the herd. Trusting your gut means having the courage to not simply go with the majority. It can be about holding your own. Here’s how to hone that skill for yourself and reap the rewards.

1. Tune Into Your Body

Your body gives you clues when you’re faced with a big decision. There are many visible and obvious symptoms that we feel in uncomfortable situations. Our body’s reaction is often something that we might try to hide, for example, blushing, being lost for words, or shaking. There are things we might do to try and hide that physical reaction, whether it’s wearing makeup, having a glass of wine or coffee to perk us up a bit, or learning to control our nerves.

However, paying attention to your body when you experience these feelings of anxiety can teach you so much and help you to make sound choices. Some people will experience an actual “gut” feeling of stomach ache or indigestion in an uncomfortable situation.

Ask yourself what’s really going on here, and explore what is happening behind your body’s response to the situation. What can your reaction or instinct teach you? Understanding that can be a clue and can help you either learn something about yourself, the situation, or other people. The answers are often within us.

Advertising

Sometimes we’ll get this “something’s not right here” feeling and cannot quite put our finger on it or explain it. That can still be incredibly useful and really guide us away from danger, even if we don’t know the reason.

In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell also argues this, making the point that sometimes our subconscious is better at processing the answer we need, and that we don’t necessarily need to take time to collect hours and hours of information to come to a reliable conclusion[1].

2. Ensure Your Head Is Clear Before Making a Decision

Energy, sleep, and good nutrition are so vital to nourishing our minds, as well as our bodies. There are times when your instinct could lead you astray, and one of these is when you are hungry, “hangry” (angry because you’re hungry!), tired, or anxious. If this is the case–and it may sound obvious–do consider sleeping or eating on it before making an important choice.

There is, in fact, a connection between our gut and our brain[2], which is where terms like “butterflies in the stomach” and “gut-wrenching” originate from. Stress and emotions can cause physical feelings, and ignoring them might do more harm than good.

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Say What You Think and Feel

Listening to your gut and really paying attention to it might involve standing up and being counted, calling something out, or taking a stand. As someone who works for myself, I’ve become used to following the less-travelled road, and that’s given me the chance to strike out on my own in other ways, too.

As they tell you in the planes, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” and part of that self-reliance is knowing what you really want and like and what is safe and good for you, including what resonates with your personal and business values. Making good decisions with this in mind means making choices that do not go against your own beliefs, even when it may mean taking a stand. This is part of trusting yourself and trusting your instincts.

This does not always mean taking the “safe” option, although keeping ourselves safe is an important part of the process. This is how we learn and grow, by following our own inner compass. When you do take risks, go outside of your comfort zone, or choose the less popular option, spending some time researching the facts can stand us in good stead, too.

Advertising

4. Do Your Research If Something Feels Off

As well as listening to our instincts, we can also back up the evidence for our chosen course of action before taking the leap. I had a gut feeling about the need for a learning and development network when I noticed my clients getting stuck with the same problems. I set up and now run such a network, but instead of simply going for it, without evidence, I followed up on my instinct with research.

Having confidence in your gut instinct through these kinds of tests can help to minimize your risks, as well as spur you on. It will encourage you to trust your gut again in the future and trust that you are an expert with foresight and experience. You are!

5. Challenge Your Assumptions

When you look at the assumptions your making, this could be the clue to mistakes you are making.

In order to check that our instincts are wise, we need to ask ourselves what blanks we might be filling in, either consciously or unconsciously. This is true not just when it comes to our own decision-making. It’s also true when we are listening to someone explain a problem or situation, and we’re about to jump in and give some advice. If we can learn to be aware of our own assumptions, we can become better listeners and better decision makers, too.

A useful tool to become more aware of your assumptions before making a final decision is simply to ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making about this situation or person?”

6. Educate Yourself on Unconscious Bias

Unconscious bias is something we all have, and it can trip us up big time!

There is a vital caveat to bear in mind when wondering about whether you can trust your gut and the feelings your body gives you, and that’s having an awareness of your unconscious bias. Understanding your own bias–which is hard to do because it literally does happen in our subconscious–can help you to make stronger, better, decisions instead of re-confirming your view of the world over and over again.

Advertising

Bias exists, and it’s part of the human condition. All of us have it, and it colors our decisions and can impact on our performance without us realizing.

Unconscious bias happens at a subconscious level in our brains. Our subconscious brain processes information so much faster than our conscious brain. Quick decisions we make in our subconscious are based on both our societal conditioning and how our families raised us.

Our brains process hundreds of thousands of pieces of information daily. We unconsciously categorize and format that information into patterns that feel familiar to us. Aspects such as gender, disability, class, sexuality, body shape and size, ethnicity, and what someone does for a job can all quickly influence decisions we make about people and the relationships we choose to form. Our unconscious bias can be very subtle and go unnoticed..

We naturally tend to gravitate towards people similar to ourselves, favoring people who we see as belonging to the same “group” as us. Being able to make a quick decision about whether someone is part of your group and distinguish friend from foe was what helped early humans to survive. Conversely, we don’t automatically favor people who we don’t immediately relate to or easily connect with.

The downside of that human instinct to seek out similar people is the potential for prejudice, which seems to be hard-wired into human cognition, no matter how open-minded we believe ourselves to be. And these stereotypes we create can be wrong. If we only spend our time with and employ people similar to ourselves, it can create prejudices, as well as stifle fresh thinking and innovation.

We may feel more natural or comfortable working with other people who share our own background and/or opinions than collaborating with people who don’t look, talk, or think like us. However, diversity is not just morally right; having a mix of different people and perspectives that can be genuinely heard is also a valuable way to counter groupthink. Diversity stretches us to think more critically and creatively.

7. Trust Yourself

It is possible to learn how to truly trust yourself[3]. Like any talent or skill, practicing trusting your gut is the best way to get really good at it. When people talk about having great intuition or being good decision-makers, it’s because they’ve worked at honing those skills, made mistakes, learned from them, and tried again.

Advertising

Looking back at decisions you’ve made, what you did, what the outcome was, and what you’ve learned can help you become a stronger decision maker and develop solid self-trust and resilience. Making a mistake does not mean you are not great at decision-making; it’s a chance to grow and learn, and the only mistake is to ignore the lesson in that experience.

If you are in the habit of asking others for their input, then the trick here is to choose your inner circle wisely. Having a sounding board of people who have your best interests at heart is a valuable asset, and, combined with your own excellent instincts, can make you a champion decision maker.

The Bottom Line

The above tips are all actionable and easy to start immediately. It’s simply about switching your thinking around, slowing down, and taking great care of this amazing machine that is your body and mind!

Learning how to trust your gut is one of the most fundamental ways to make decisions that will help you lead the life you want and need. Tune into what your body is telling you and start making good decisions today.

More Tips on How to Trust Your Gut

Featured photo credit: Acy Varlan via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Science of People: Learn to Trust Your Gut Instincts: The Science Behind Thin-slicing
[2] Harvard Health Publishing: The gut-brain connection
[3] Psych Central: 3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust

Read Next