Advertising
Advertising

What My Teenage Daughter Taught Me About Simplicity

What My Teenage Daughter Taught Me About Simplicity

Mastering the Art of Simplicity

    My oldest daughter just turned 13 this week, which means my life, as I have known it, has now changed forever. She is no longer Daddy’s little girl and I am completely outmatched.

    The tide started to change at about age 11 1/2. I didn’t notice at first. I think a father’s brain (when focused on his daughter ) is always slow to adapt. Up until this point I had been her Superman and I felt it. I am not ashamed to admit that it is a feeling I will miss for the rest of my life.

    The changes were slow at first, built up speed, and now I just can’t keep up. We no longer speak the same language. She is much more concerned with her friends, and truth be told, she does not care to spend much time with me. I selfishly long for the days when she was 5 or 6 years old.

    Advertising

    I do not blame her for any of these feelings. She is becoming a wonderful young lady, with a stutter step here and there, but doing the best she can.

    I am the one who cannot keep up – Do I get any points for at least knowing that?

    I want my daughter to grow and experience life, to have an opinion and stand up for her beliefs. I just don’t want that to have anything to do with me. At the same time, I want her to be 5 forever. It feels like a classic tale that I am an unwitting participant in and have absolutely no control over.

    Now, I realize that this is a common tale and that the role of Dad is now being played by me but has been shared by all fathers who have come before me. To those who made it out alive, I salute you.

    Advertising

    Learning the Power of Simplicity

    This is not an article on the dynamics of fathers and daughters. This is about learning to be simple. My daughter just taught me that this week.

    Just a few days ago, her boyfriend broke up with her. Now, let’s set aside the fact that her even having a boyfriend is taking years off my life. My job here was to be compassionate. To let her know she should still come to me and we can get through anything together. I have no idea if any of this message gets through, but I try.

    She was upset, she cried. Then she taught me a huge lesson on thinking simply. She held my hand, looked into my eyes and said: “Dad, I just want someone who will hold my hand and listen to TwentyOne Pilots with me”

    Advertising


      I have not stopped thinking about what she said since. For the last year I have been thinking of my daughter as a complicated puzzle, one for which I had no instructions. The truth is that she is not nearly as complicated as I thought, At least in this one area, she is thinking simply.
      We often speak about motivation but I am starting to wonder if we overcomplicate it. Could we not be more simple?

      What is important to you? Take that image and hit it with a tiny mental hammer. Not hard enough to break it, but perhaps hard enough to knock the dust and dirt off. Let’s focus on the core and not the surroundings.

      I want you to have a grand goal. I want you to believe that you can achieve anything. But why don’t we get to the core of your dream? What is it that you really want? What is your simple truth?
      When I write, I often write about myself. I do this because I know the subject so well and because I hope I can convince you of this: all the crazy emotions, weird thoughts, and irrational fears that you may have, we all have them.

      Is there a handbook on how to get through life? Sure, hundreds. There are religions, societal beliefs, manifestos, and the like. If these help you then I am all in favor. One thing most have in common is to slow down. Become more simple in your thoughts.
      We often get in the way of our own happiness by over-complicating the situation. Both the teachings of the west and the east share this idea:

      Advertising


        and :

          So this is where we are. I as a crazy, heartsick father, lost in the woods of my daughter’s life, will learn from her. I will slow down and get simple. I am not meant to understand her right now, so I will let that go and love her just the same. I will be slow to speak and slow to anger, because the opposite does no one any good. This is what my teenage daughter taught me about simplicity.

          She just wants some one to hold hands with. I just want to know my daughter. What is the simple truth of what you want?

          Cheers,

          GK

          Featured photo credit: Alexis Brown via uplash.com

          More by this author

          Glenn Killey

          Author, Motivational Speaker, Mindset Coach

          What Is Your Defining Mental Picture? What My Teenage Daughter Taught Me About Simplicity What An 86 Year Old Man Can Teach Us About Procrastination The Randomness of Life: 3 Steps to Take Back Control The Law of Reversed Effort

          Trending in Lifestyle

          1 How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life 2 9 Natural Remedies for Insomnia to Help You Achieve Quality Sleep 3 Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny 4 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things 5 How Guided Meditation for Sleep Improves Your Mindset While Awake

          Read Next

          Advertising
          Advertising

          Last Updated on December 2, 2018

          How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

          How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

          Ebb and flow. Contraction and expansion. Highs and lows. It’s all about the cycles of life.

          The entire course of our life follows this up and down pattern of more and then less. Our days flow this way, each following a pattern of more energy, then less energy, more creativity and periods of greater focus bookended by moments of low energy when we cringe at the thought of one more meeting, one more call, one more sentence.

          Advertising

          The key is in understanding how to use the cycles of ebb and flow to our advantage. The ability to harness these fluctuations, understand how they affect our productivity and mood and then apply that knowledge as a tool to improve our lives is a valuable strategy that few individuals or corporations have mastered.

          Here are a few simple steps to start using this strategy today:

          Advertising

          Review Your Past Flow

          Take just a few minutes to look back at how your days and weeks have been unfolding. What time of the day are you the most focused? Do you prefer to be more social at certain times of the day? Do you have difficulty concentrating after lunch or are you energized? Are there days when you can’t seem to sit still at your desk and others when you could work on the same project for hours?

          Do you see a pattern starting to emerge? Eventually you will discover a sort of map or schedule that charts your individual productivity levels during a given day or week.  That’s the first step. You’ll use this information to plan your days going forward.

          Advertising

          Schedule According to Your Flow Pattern

          Look at the types of things you do each day…each week. What can you move around so that it’s a better fit for you? Can you suggest to your team that you schedule meetings for late morning if you can’t stand to be social first thing? Can you schedule detailed project work or highly creative tasks, like writing or designing when you are best able to focus? How about making sales calls or client meetings on days when you are the most social and leaving billing or reports until another time when you are able to close your door and do repetitive tasks.

          Keep in mind that everyone is different and some things are out of our control. Do what you can. You might be surprised at just how flexible clients and managers can be when they understand that improving your productivity will result in better outcomes for them.

          Advertising

          Account for Big Picture Fluctuations

          Look at the bigger picture. Consider what happens during different months or times during the year. Think about what is going on in the other parts of your life. When is the best time for you to take on a new project, role or responsibility? Take into account other commitments that zap your energy. Do you have a sick parent, a spouse who travels all the time or young children who demand all of your available time and energy?

          We all know people who ignore all of this advice and yet seem to prosper and achieve wonderful success anyway, but they are usually the exception, not the rule. For most of us, this habitual tendency to force our bodies and our brains into patterns of working that undermine our productivity result in achieving less than desired results and adding more stress to our already overburdened lives.

          Why not follow the ebb and flow of your life instead of fighting against it?

            Featured photo credit: Nathan Dumlao via unsplash.com

            Read Next