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Everyone Is Afraid Of Showing Their Vulnerable Side, But That’s What Makes Us Stronger

Everyone Is Afraid Of Showing Their Vulnerable Side, But That’s What Makes Us Stronger

For most of us, being strong means having strong set of beliefs and principles that cannot be questioned and always keeping calm and unshaken, whatever the situation is. Yet, it seems that we had it wrong all along. Not recognizing one’s vulnerable side actually lessens their chance of personal growth, because they don’t allow a whole another side of their personality to be expressed, recognized and eventually improved.

In the words of Lao Tzu:

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“A man is born gentle and weak; at his death he is hard and stiff. All things, including the grass and trees, are soft and pliable in life; dry and brittle in death. Stiffness is thus a companion of death; flexibility a companion of life. An army that cannot yield will be defeated. A tree that cannot bend will crack in the wind. The hard and stiff will be broken; the soft and supple will prevail.”

If we want to live a fulfilled life of realized potential and personal growth, we need to give in to the vulnerability and allow ourselves to feel weak and fragile, since it is also part of our nature.

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More honest friendships

Our relationships with our loved ones will become more genuine and sincere, once we open up to them and show our “negative” sides we’ve been hiding from them. Being vulnerable with your friends makes your bond even stronger as they get to see that you go through the same difficulties. Sharing and helping each other grow makes you more empathetic, and your friendship much more honest.

Next time you are anxious, scared or insecure, instead of putting on a brave face, let your friends know what you are going through. You will both feel the relief for staying true to your feelings. Moreover, you will be surprised at how much more you have in common, and finally, you will get support and help, possibly for life.

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Getting to know your true self

We’ve been taught that being strong and confident is good while being fragile and insecure is not. It is no wonder that we’ve learned to hide our “faults” so well that we don’t know who we are any more. So many people today are suffering from social anxiety, a condition that can be easily treated and cured. Yet, many are left untreated because of their unwillingness and inability to acknowledge the issue as it would mean that they are exposed, vulnerable and weak.

We have programmed ourselves to deny our weaknesses so much so that we can’t tell the signs when they are right in front of us. Yet, if we really want to work on continuously improving our lives, first step we need to take is to get to know ourselves better by embracing our vulnerability as well.

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Getting out of your comfort zone for self-realization

There is no faster and better way to personal growth than accepting and embracing our insecurities. Think of all those moments when you felt scared and insecure and wanted to run and hide. Those moments were pushing you out of your comfort zone. Most people’s first response would be to stay in familiar territory and not risk being exposed to their insecurities even if this means not reaching their goals and potentials. However, the lessons we refuse to learn will keep on coming until we face them head on.

Breaking familiar patterns isn’t easy, so we need to take baby steps. We should set small, achievable goals first, before we can tackle the big issue. For example, people struggling with social anxiety should start by practicing speaking in front of familiar groups of friends, and then continue with smaller groups of strangers until they reach their goal of being comfortable at speaking in front of larger groups of unfamiliar people. Comfort zone may seem like a safe sanctuary, but they are in fact keeping us from making any personal progress. Embracing our discomfort will help us eliminate it eventually and achieve our greatest goals.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via images.unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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