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Quit Smoking Time: 7 Time Management Traps

Quit Smoking Time: 7 Time Management Traps

When I was a teenager, my dad was a smoker.

I don’t know when or why exactly, but it started to irk me. Suddenly I could smell it everywhere, there was just no hiding from it. And every time I would get mad at him, and he would just smile and say that yes he would stop… at some point.

But I had this fear that his habit was stealing time that one day he would have needed to spend with his family. I remember reading everything I could put my hands on to get him to stop but was left with only headaches and contradictory advice (maybe I didn’t know where to look, or maybe it was the 90s and I could not just Google it). Thank god the day came when he stopped by himself, just like that, but I still remember that frustration.

Fast forward a few years and I am a working millennial. Getting back home from work, I often feel too tired to do anything but the most familiar stuff. TV. Youtube. Facebook. Just a minute, of course. Just long enough to finish binging my contacts’ shared videos of moonwalking bears eating ice cream in slow motion (if it’s not a real thing yet, you know it’s bound to happen.) Then I will stop… at some point.

The day I realized I was thinking in terms of “at some point”, I heard my dad’s words echoing from the past. That’s when it really hit me:

I had an issue with the way I was thinking about my time.

It was not a matter of sharing a social time cigarette once in a while anymore. I had become a fully accomplished time smoker. And it was time to quit.

Quitting meant I had to become an active manager of my time. Easier said than done, though, as trying to rationalize my time management and productivity quickly made me feel the same frustration I experienced when trying to convince my dad to quit smoking.
Indeed, despite a large amount of documentation available on those subjects, we are still unable to agree on the validity of the techniques we keep hearing about. Worse, when we start looking for answers, sometimes it feels like we haven’t even been asking the right questions, even though we are pretty clear about what we are trying to achieve.

So I did what I understand to be a good thing to stop an addiction: I shared.

Opening myself to others about the issue made me realize that not only was I not alone in this boat, but that it’s actually a huge ship full of people!

Then just like someone wanting to quit smoking a few decades ago, I had to go through tons of hearsay, some blog articles, and too few research papers to try and carve some truth out of them. After much discussion, myth-busting and tea, in no particular order, I found six traps we easily fall into when it comes to managing our time.

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Trap 1. Time management equals professional time management

When it comes to work, I have always been very conscientious and organized: I like to plan ahead and stay on top of things as much as possible. You could say that at work, I rarely smoke time.

But as a friend, there was a time when I was not super available (read “super not available”). To be honest, I just didn’t put enough effort into reconciling the things I wanted to do with the people I wanted to see and had to sacrifice one or the other (or both!) on a regular basis.

The thing is, the idea that time management is purely a professional activity is simply not true. It would be like saying that you have quit smoking because you don’t smoke at the office, even if you still do outside work (it could be a step along the way to quitting, though.)

So instead of thinking we should “manage time but only at the office”, we need to constantly be our own time managers.

Time does not stop flying the moment you leave the workplace.

If anything, I’m sure it’s quite the opposite.

So why do we keep associating the act of conscious time management with our professional environment?

One reason is probably that the not-too-old thing that created the need to track time scalably was the industrial revolution when people started to be thrown at highly scheduled tasks for maximum efficiency.
Another one is the matter of perception, namely the rational ignorance effect, which refers to the act of “refraining from acquiring knowledge when the cost of educating oneself on an issue exceeds the potential benefit that the knowledge would provide” (Wikipedia). Indeed, when it comes to getting information about our time (see further down), most of the tools at our disposition are tedious to use, making the cost of tracking time very high, so that consciously managing time is often experienced as a constraint. And, by definition, we want to avoid constraints in our free time.

If I’m hammering this point home, it’s because it took me a few years to get it, and I learned it the hard way (goodbye my friends!)

Trap 2. Time management equals keeping busy

Back in my super-not-available days, I was keeping myself always busy. This was a time when, among other things, I was working to educate myself on new topics, trying to mentally prepare my uncertain future projects of an even more uncertain future. And regularly (read “all of the time”) I was refusing to go for an evening out to meet or see again people that life had put on one my potential paths because I sincerely thought I could not afford to take a break if I wanted things to go through.

It is not just a matter of maybe-missed personal or professional opportunities. It also could have helped with my self-education!

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This is one of the lessons reported by Dr. Samantha Boardman and studied by Gino & al:

Taking a break from the always-doing-something rhythm will increase your productivity.

It can be talking to a friend to “clear your mind”, or taking the time to reflect on what you have worked on and what you will work on.

And because I have an intuition this might work on more than… well, work, I now always take the time to reflect on the day, typically when walking back home after work or right before going to bed.

Trap 3. I don’t need to measure my time to manage it

John is the old manager we all wish we had. He understands what we work on, having been there himself, but also the human aspects of the team dynamic, as well as the need to protect the team from external constraints so that they can work at peace and efficiently. However, when IT offered to integrate a tool that would reduce the time his team spends on either software A or on the phone with clients, John did not have the facts to make an educated decision: neither him nor anyone in his team had ever thought of measuring the time spent on said software or on the phone.

The first explanation I can see for that kind of situation is the illusion that we have a complete understanding of the things we use and the activities we engage in (for example I can drive a car so I might believe I know how it works, while I actually only know how to use it). And because everything we do is rooted in time, we get the impression that we fully grasp it. Yet in this case, when push came to shove, the team really had no idea. Another time-related example is described in a study reported by The Atlantic: people fail to estimate correctly the time they spend working (and the more they work, the worse it gets!)

I have an intuition this might be linked to a second point, which is that where time is concerned:

We actually remember things that emotionally impact us.

So that when it comes to taking a time-related decision – that is any decision at all – and we dig in our memories for lessons about what to do or not to do, our process may be heavily skewed by our emotions.

There is another subject with issues similar to time, but that people approach in a more mature fashion: money.

Just replace the word “time” with “money”, so that the task at hand is actually “money management”. Now imagine yourself trying to explain to someone, anyone really, that you don’t know what money is spent where. Sure, you can argue that you are not completely clueless and have a rough idea about where it went, but you don’t know. At best, you are guesstimating. Unfortunately, we are really bad at estimating – the internet is chock-full of references about it, be it regarding time or people’s skills.

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So if you can measure and avoid the guesstimation, just do it.

Trap 4. There is nothing like pen and paper to follow my time

Well, yes and no. But mostly no, though, according to most of the people tracking their time that I get to meet (a number that grows at an amazing speed!).

The issue of pen and paper is that it’s all manual, meaning that both the tracking part and the summary of your time usage are left entirely to you, which makes the whole process:

  • tedious: starting every activity by writing its name on a paper is not sustainable. It is bound to make you hate the whole process
  • imprecise: because it is tedious to write everything down, you are probably not going to keep track of the two minutes spent on Facebook or Candy Crush on the train.

That’s why most people who are aware of the benefits of time tracking already have a set of tools that does at least some things automatically: it can be a spreadsheet (which does sums pretty easily for the connoisseur) or a computer or phone activity tracker, or even an all-in solution (I work on and use this one!)

Trap 5. Time management is only about me

In a previous life, I remember working with someone from the sales department who came one morning to my desk with something that needed to be done urgently. Unfortunately for that person and her grand plans, I already had my hands full of things that also “just could not wait”.

What my ex-co-worker had forgotten for a second is that “we are not alone”, in the sense that most of what we do and/or plan depends more or less directly on other people. People who don’t necessary have the same goals as ours or would not go the same way about them.

Put another way:

Time management often has a social component that is hard to ignore.

So that if you plan something that might involve other people, you should be careful to somehow involve them in the process of planning.

Trap 6. The plan will come together

You know that time, maybe even “those times” – I know I am in that case – in your life when you had a meeting or exam or something else important enough to require you to be at a certain place, at a certain time. And you checked Google Maps. And Maps said it should take 30 minutes to get there. And you thought “Oh great I will leave 30 minutes before said time then”. And you didn’t quite make it. Maybe it was a late train, or there was too much traffic.

Well, right when you thought “30 minutes will be enough”, you had a plan-will-come-together moment.

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As you probably and correctly surmised, a plan-will-come-together moment is simply when you mistake a plan, i.e a potential way things could happen, for reality. A reality that has yet to happen, and may never do. And this is a classic.

Typical obstacles include, but are most definitely not limited to, weather or other “natural” unexpected bad turn of events, other people (see the previous point), zombie apocalypse or even bad planning.

To resist the plan-will-come-together moments, a simple exercise I first read about in Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast, and Slow is to not put a plan in motion immediately after its conception, typically at the end of a meeting. Rather, have the people involved take a blank sheet with one goal:

Think about everything that could go wrong with the plan.

Those few minutes will help a lot in understanding the uncertainty inherently associated with planning.

Trap 7. The plan is the only thing that matters

I know I said “six traps”. But you have stuck with me this far, and I am starting to like you. So I will leave you with a seventh one. As a freebie.

Those six pitfalls may seem obvious once you spell them out, but the biggest trap of time management is even more obvious: don’t forget why you track and manage your time! Do you want to know yourself better? Do you want to reduce the time you spend watching bad TV shows (so you can focus on the good ones, or on reading the books that inspired them, or any book at all really, or blogs)?

Time management is a huge project, and if you lose track of how and why you started it, then you will lose motivation, clarity and sometimes any benefit at all.

But it is also a beautiful project, a way to build the self we want to be. Because as Laura Vanderkam wonderfully puts it

“[it]is not about figuring out how much time we waste. It is about making sure we are not telling ourselves stories about our lives that are not actually true.”

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

18 Benefits of Journaling That Will Change Your Life

18 Benefits of Journaling That Will Change Your Life

The act of writing in a journal often seems daunting or unnecessary to many people. Even authors who work on novels might shun the idea of daily diaries. What purpose does jotting down words on a regular basis do if not contributing to the next novel, play or song? I know from experience many benefits of journaling that I wish to share.

1. Understand Yourself Better

Though many people and even writers avoid keeping journals, I vow to do it more often. Not only do I desire to take up daily journaling but also I plan to do it with pen to paper.

Some of the benefits I’ve found from my more active days include finding myself in the sense of understanding what matters to me and what I want out of life. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to find a spouse who is my best friend and advocate in raising children. I attribute this and much more to what I learned about myself in keeping journals for years.

2. Keep Track of Small Changes

I’ll admit that I never got very far with my guitar lessons, but in writing in a journal, I have seen the ability to track small changes like those that come when you practice anything.

Those learning a musical instrument often fail to see the small improvements that come with regular practice. Writing won’t help you switch chords any faster, but it will help you to develop a better sense for language and grammar just by doing it.

3. Become Aware of What Matters

As you continue to write in a journal, following a stream-of-consciousness feel, you can look back on the topics that you chose to write about. Those issues and emotions that poured out of you will provide insight on to what matters most to you.

You may not even realize that you’re job is depressing you or that you want to spend more time with your kids until you look over your thoughts that you weren’t really thinking about.

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4. Boost Creativity

The idea that the brain and its neural activity across hemispheres encourages learning also shows up in increased creativity. Just like with learning an instrument, your increased activity will inspire your thoughts to connect and reconnect in different ways.

When I wrote in a journal, I often wrote poetry as well as just my thoughts as they came out. I started to hear poems more in my mind; so much so that I took to scrawling lines on napkins and finding metaphors in mundane activities.

You really are what you do, so writing helps grow more than being a writer. Writing boosts the way you communicate and structure language, which really is a creative process.

5. Represents Your Emotions in a Safe Environment

A journal is as private as it gets. You can lock it in a safe or tuck it under a pillow and no one will accidentally share it on social media or have an opportunity to “leave a comment.”

Write about your sorrow as much as your happiness and frustration and know that you don’t have to keep your emotions inside your body. You can put them on paper.

6. Process Life Experiences

When you take the time to look back over what you’ve written, be it a week or a year later, you will have the distance you need to more objectively interpret your raw feelings.

Everything from losing a job to losing a loved one can emerge in a new light for a fresh perspective. Figuring out how the benefits of journaling affect your perspective on life will create connection and increase creativity.

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7. Stress Relief

In combining the exercise inherent in fine motor coordination that comes from the act of writing with the emotional release of self expression, those who maintain a journal relieve stress.

Try it out. Go home and write about your day. Write about the traffic. Write about the coffee order the barista got wrong but you didn’t have time to change. See how you can physically purge some of that pent-up stress by putting it on paper.

8. Provide Direction

Though journaling is often conducted as an activity without much direction, it often provides direction.

One of the biggest benefits of journaling is that your chaotic thoughts merge to show a direction in which to head. Asking the right questions is the only way to achieve the best solutions, so look to your journal to find your way toward your next goal.

9. Solve Problems

Just as in practicing math problems, we all get better at finding hidden solutions through the act of processing.

Think of your next goal as X and solve your life problems by reading your journals as word problems. The benefit of journaling here is that you write, explore and process to recognize and then solve problems.

When life is too in-your-face, you have to step back to see reality. Living in the moment allows us to write in the moment and use that expression to solve problems.

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10. Find Relief From Fighting

Solving your problems only comes after time to process, recognize and strategize. Just as in the benefit of journaling where relief comes from the act of writing, relief from fighting comes when you decide to “sit this one out” and communicate one-way.

Fighting is only productive when the fighters care to communicate and find common ground. When the emotions are as high as the stress levels, writing will function as the best time out.

11. Find Meaning in Life

Journaling will show you why you are living, whether you are wallowing in things you wish to change or striving to make the changes. Your life will begin to take on new meaning and your own words will reveal the actions that got you where you are so that you can assess and pave a new path for your future.

12. Allow Yourself to Focus

Taking even a small amount of time out of every day will provide you with not only peace of mind but also increased focus. Taking a break to meditate in writing and journaling will sharpen your mental faculties.

13. Sharpen Your Spirituality

When we write, we allow all the energy and experiences to flow through us, which often provides further insight into our own spirituality. Even if your parents didn’t raise you to follow a specific religion, your thoughts will start to show you what you believe about the universe and your place in it.

14. Let the Past Go

I’ve mentioned a few examples where going back over your writing offers advice and direction, but the simply truth is that writing down our feelings can be the best way to let them go. We can choose to literally throw these pages away when they’re filled with negativity and hate.

15. Allow Freedom

Journaling is the perfect way to not only express yourself but to also experience the freedom of being who you are. Your books can stay private or you can publish them. Your freedom stems from your sense of self and your perception of your thoughts.

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16. Enhance Your Career

Again, the private act of pen-to-paper processing provides the benefits of journaling mentioned above, but you can also enhance your career when you take similar ideas and categorize, edit and publish them in an online blog.

Your thoughts will often be personal and express emotions, but another benefit of journaling is uncovering fresh ideas about your work.

17. Literally Explore Your Dreams

All the benefits I’ve mentioned explore ideas, thoughts and emotions, which is also what our dreams and nightmares do. Through writing down your dreams from the previous night, you can enhance your creativity as well as connect some of the metaphorical dots from the rest of your journal.

18. Catalog Your Life for Others

No one wants to think about dying, but we all die. Leaving a journal will act as a way to reconnect with family and friends left behind. The ideas you wish to keep personal while you process the life you’re living will serve to rekindle and inspire those who loved you through the process.

We consider our partners our life witnesses, but writing provides a tangible mark on the world.

Now that you’ve learned all the benefits of journaling, it’s time to start writing a journal:

Featured photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via unsplash.com

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