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5 Things Every Woman Should Say To Themselves

5 Things Every Woman Should Say To Themselves

Every single one of us has a story we tell ourselves, a tale about who we are, what we are, and why we do the things we do. Some of us speak our own truths. We boldly step beyond the box we were molded in and dismiss any and everything that does not resonate with our souls. We’re the zany ones, the quirky, somewhat strange, but loveable creatures that make the world an interesting place to live in. Others tell their tales through everyone else’s eyes. They judge their thoughts and feelings based off of the “opinion lense” other people view them through. They get so caught up in being what others want that they forget who they are and what they were meant to be.

Who you are should not be a mystery. What you are meant to be is simple: your own beautiful, unapologetically amazing self. If you ever feel lost and unsure about who that person is, here’s five things you should remind yourself of.

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1. Breathe.

Unfortunately, things can’t always be rainbows and unicorns. There are going to be times when you curse the fact that you ever made the decision to grow up. It’s okay. That’s normal. These are the days that test us. They give us an opportunity to become a better version of ourselves. When days like this get thrust upon us, remember to breathe. Trials and tribulations are part of the journey and you’re much stronger than you think. You can make it through anything, one breath at a time.

2. Smile.

Did you know that smiling actually makes you happy? It’s true. Try it. Right now, wherever you are. I’m not talking about a pathetic little half upturn of the lips here. I’m talking a full on, mouth opening, toothy grin. The kind that makes your eyes sparkle and dance. Got it? Good. Hold on to it for five seconds. How do you feel? You’re welcome. Even when you’re having a bad day, you can always find something to smile about.

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3. You’re Beautiful.

You are. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size zero or 24, you’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise, including yourself. Look at your reflection in the mirror. Instead of focusing on the usual criticisms you like to dole out, revel in your exquisiteness. You’re a Goddess, an enchantress, alluring, fabulous, and fierce. Remember this. There’s no one else on the planet with your curves, your skin, and your eyes. Even if it’s one of those bad hair days, find something you like about your looks and focus on it. Then find something else, and then something else. Pretty soon you’ll be winking and blowing kisses at the foxy lady in the mirror.

4. You’re Strong.

It’s true. There has most certainly been a time in your life when you hit a low point. Maybe it was over a broken relationship. Maybe it was a financial debacle. Did you curl into a ball and hide in your blanket fort for eternity? No, you didn’t. You got back up. You moved on. You figured it out. Why, because you’ve got an inner warrior inside of you. She’s the one who taps you on the shoulder and reminds you not to take it lying down, the one who knows you can conquer any obstacle before you. This whole life thing? You totally got it.

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5. Love Yourself, There’s Nothing Wrong With You.

There isn’t. That boyfriend (or girlfriend) who did you wrong? Forget him (or her). Those people who judge you and always make you feel less than? Forget them. You’re amazing and you should love every piece of yourself. You aren’t just the things that other people see. You’re different shades of spectacular wrapped up in a quirky, nerdy, sexy bow. Love every color of yourself, all of the imperfections and idiosyncrasies that make up who you are. You’re awesome and you deserve to be loved. So give that to yourself. Love who you are without apology. Only then will you be able to truly love someone else.

Featured photo credit: Bao-Quan Ngyen/Unsplash via unsplash.com

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More by this author

Jessica Willing

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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