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How To Feel Like Your Authentic Self In Social Situations

How To Feel Like Your Authentic Self In Social Situations

Are you someone who feels more of their true self when no one else is around, as opposed to being in the presence of others?

I don’t know about you, but I personally feel more relaxed, laid back, and maybe a bit silly when I am home alone with just me and the dog! I am giddy, unguarded, and YES…I talk to myself, sing to the dog and call her silly names! (I think she likes it.)

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Young children seem to get it right better than any of us adults do when it comes to being their true authentic self. They sing, laugh, dance & live with an abundance of energy and no worries of whether anyone else is watching or of what anyone thinks of them.

It is none of your business of what others think about you

As adults, we are more on guard than children are, in social situations because conversations with others can lead us to feel assorted emotions with many shades of gray in between. Since we have a desire to bond and be accepted by other people, we self-consciously watch what we say, how we say it and decide whether to be agreeable or complacent. Plus we study the other person’s body language to judge the authenticity of the person and of how the conversation is making us feel at that particular moment.

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There are certain types of people with a stronger personality, who tend to make others feel inferior by emanating more of an intense negative vibe. It is the friction between their ego fighting against yours that can make you feel uncomfortable or imbalanced either emotionally or physically, bringing you down energetically. Basically…like attracts like, so if someone that you are talking to is miserable, then that can be contagious to you…making you miserable as well!

Remember…It Is never you. It is always them. Some people simply have the inability to make others feel welcomed. Plus, those who are unhappy with themselves sometimes have a way of characterizing other people in a negative light, that they themselves are hiding behind.

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You have a choice of whether or not to take on the belief of what others think of you. Basically, you need to ignore it or risk feeling any potential imbalance because of it. What others think about you is simply a theory and opinion,…not a fact!  It is up to you to make the decision to dismiss it and to not let it have any impact on you what so ever. In other words, it is none of your business of what others think about you. Period.

Four key factors that affect the way other people can make you feel

  1. The mood that the other person is in, and if they are feeling positive or negative.
  2. Whether they are emanating a sense of fear or love towards you.
  3. The intensity of their personality and whether they have a desire to make others feel inferior or accepted.
  4. Your ability to protect your emotions from another person’s negative vibe.

You may not have the total control of how another person’s energy can make you feel at any given moment, but you can shield yourself by protecting your Aura.

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TRY THIS…

If necessary, when you are around certain people that you know can drain your energy, either physically or emotionally, put up an invisible protective shield around yourself to guard against other people’s negative input or vibe. (Sort of a way of rejecting or deflecting what other people are reflecting upon you.)

You are the bigger person with a clearer insight knowing how and when to be of comfort to others,…who is in need…and who deserves the comfort that you can give them. Be your true real self! No one can take your power away. You get one life as who you are now! And if no one has told you lately…you are perfect just the way you are!

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Lorrie Ober

Creative Enthusiast/blogger

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Last Updated on February 19, 2020

15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

Books give us the opportunity to live vicariously through the lives of people with greater wisdom than ourselves. They stimulate our brains and help us not only solve the problems we struggle with, but also motivate and inspire us with new ideas.

One of the great things about people who think positively and live happy lives is that they love to help others do the same. There are countless positive-thinking books and these 15 are a great way to help you start living a happy life.

1. Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor E. Frankl

mans search for meaning

    This book goes through the horrific struggle of Viktor Frankl who survived holocaust concentration camps. The only thing that kept him going was his idea that everything, even the worst of human suffering, had to have meaning. If you’re struggling through anything in your life, I guarantee the words of Viktor will give you courage to press on and find happiness.

    2. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

    tuesday with morrie

       

      What is life’s greatest lesson? Morrie, a retired professor with a fatal disease, opts to use his predicament to share that message as opposed to just giving up and dying. Following the last few months of Morrie’s life will help you realize what is truly important in life.

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      3. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

      Lecture_Book

        Similar to Tuesdays with Morrie, Randy is a college professor who finds he has a fatal disease with only a few months to live. It is customary for professors at his university (Carnegie Mellon) to give a final lecture with the basis of ‘what wisdom would you impart to a large group of people if it was your last chance?’ Randy stays incredibly positive throughout and even keeps the lecture humorous and entertaining. Amidst it all, his wisdom is a powerful reminder about how to live a happy, full life.

        4. Earning Freedom by Michael Santos

        earning freedom

          Michael Santos was sentenced to 45 years is prison for selling drugs. During his term he fought hard to earn a masters degree and half of a doctorate (halted by the warden) while writing numerous books educating students about the criminal justice system. This book provides a fascinating window into his entire sentence (released in 2012) and how a positive attitude and strong work ethic got him through it. If he found happiness in prison through positive thinking, we can do it anywhere.

          If you don’t have the attention span to finish a long book, the following quick reads are shorter but just as powerful.

          5. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

          little engine that could

            This book has shaped childrens’ minds for years. It illustrates the undeniable fact that when you think positively and believe in yourself, you can accomplish extraordinary things.

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            6. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

            The_Giving_Tree

              Happiness is found in giving. What does it mean to love someone? What would you sacrifice for someone you love? This children’s book teaches a valuable lesson about unconditional love and what it truly means to be happy.

              7. The Dash by Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson

              the dash

                “When your life is over, everything you did will be represented by a single dash between two dates—what will that dash mean for the people you have known and loved?” (Linda Ellis) We don’t choose a lot of things about our life – parents, birthplace, etc. – but we can choose what that dash between those two dates means. This short book will give you a great perspective on making your life worthwhile.

                8. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

                As-a-Man-Thinketh

                  “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state… Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” (James Allen) This book might be short, but it is jam-packed with statements that will make you stop and think. We truly become what we think we are. Negative thoughts affect us more than we know. Positive thinking = happy life.

                  9. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald  Miller

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                  a-million-miles-in-a-thousand-years

                    You are the author of your story. No matter how boring or dull your life has been, you can always turn it around. Donald was in a rut in his life. He had no desire to get out of bed and found himself questioning the meaning of life. Eventually he realized he wasn’t a slave to a pre-written script. He used that mindset to turn around his thoughts, actions, and life. When the closing credits roll on the story of your life, what will people say? Never forget that you have the power to push your limits and live an interesting, happy life.

                    10. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews

                    travelersgift

                      The Traveler’s Gift is a fictional story about a man who is overwhelmed with life and finds himself thrown into numerous true events from history – including Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. He interacts and learns important life lessons from seven different experiences. The book is full of ways to think more positively and find more success in life.

                      11. David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

                      david and goliath

                        Malcolm Gladwell motivates you to challenge your preconceptions of underdogs and misfits in this thought-provoking book. When you break down the facts in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible, you find that David really wasn’t an underdog at all – he was the one with the advantage. This book outlines story after story after story of people who were at a disadvantage and learned to find the strength in their weakness.

                        12. How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen

                        how will you measure

                          How would you feel if you got to the end of your life only to realize you had been measuring success wrong? Clayton provides a mass amount of wisdom and advice on how to live a life you won’t regret.

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                          13. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

                          Dont_Sweat_Small_Stuff

                            The small things we worry about every day may not seem like a big deal, but they wear us down slowly and stop us from living up to our full potential. Learn how to get rid of those worries and negative thoughts and live a happier life.

                            14. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

                            mere christianity

                              C.S. Lewis, who used to be an Atheist, explains how he came to find meaning in life through Christianity. He breaks down all the reasons we doubt and falter in life and how living the principles of Christianity fixes our weaknesses. Lewis is famous for his deep, thought-provoking quotes and this book is no exception.

                              15. Bushido: The Way of the Samurai by Tsunetomo Yamamoto

                              bushido

                                Bushido is based on the Hagakure, a document that served as the basis for samurai warrior behavior. The document’s purpose was to shape the mind and the spirit of the samurai warrior.

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                                Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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