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How To Feel Like Your Authentic Self In Social Situations

How To Feel Like Your Authentic Self In Social Situations

Are you someone who feels more of their true self when no one else is around, as opposed to being in the presence of others?

I don’t know about you, but I personally feel more relaxed, laid back, and maybe a bit silly when I am home alone with just me and the dog! I am giddy, unguarded, and YES…I talk to myself, sing to the dog and call her silly names! (I think she likes it.)

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Young children seem to get it right better than any of us adults do when it comes to being their true authentic self. They sing, laugh, dance & live with an abundance of energy and no worries of whether anyone else is watching or of what anyone thinks of them.

It is none of your business of what others think about you

As adults, we are more on guard than children are, in social situations because conversations with others can lead us to feel assorted emotions with many shades of gray in between. Since we have a desire to bond and be accepted by other people, we self-consciously watch what we say, how we say it and decide whether to be agreeable or complacent. Plus we study the other person’s body language to judge the authenticity of the person and of how the conversation is making us feel at that particular moment.

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There are certain types of people with a stronger personality, who tend to make others feel inferior by emanating more of an intense negative vibe. It is the friction between their ego fighting against yours that can make you feel uncomfortable or imbalanced either emotionally or physically, bringing you down energetically. Basically…like attracts like, so if someone that you are talking to is miserable, then that can be contagious to you…making you miserable as well!

Remember…It Is never you. It is always them. Some people simply have the inability to make others feel welcomed. Plus, those who are unhappy with themselves sometimes have a way of characterizing other people in a negative light, that they themselves are hiding behind.

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You have a choice of whether or not to take on the belief of what others think of you. Basically, you need to ignore it or risk feeling any potential imbalance because of it. What others think about you is simply a theory and opinion,…not a fact!  It is up to you to make the decision to dismiss it and to not let it have any impact on you what so ever. In other words, it is none of your business of what others think about you. Period.

Four key factors that affect the way other people can make you feel

  1. The mood that the other person is in, and if they are feeling positive or negative.
  2. Whether they are emanating a sense of fear or love towards you.
  3. The intensity of their personality and whether they have a desire to make others feel inferior or accepted.
  4. Your ability to protect your emotions from another person’s negative vibe.

You may not have the total control of how another person’s energy can make you feel at any given moment, but you can shield yourself by protecting your Aura.

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TRY THIS…

If necessary, when you are around certain people that you know can drain your energy, either physically or emotionally, put up an invisible protective shield around yourself to guard against other people’s negative input or vibe. (Sort of a way of rejecting or deflecting what other people are reflecting upon you.)

You are the bigger person with a clearer insight knowing how and when to be of comfort to others,…who is in need…and who deserves the comfort that you can give them. Be your true real self! No one can take your power away. You get one life as who you are now! And if no one has told you lately…you are perfect just the way you are!

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Lorrie Ober

Creative Enthusiast/blogger

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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