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4 Secret Body Language Signs to Tell If Someone Is Lying

4 Secret Body Language Signs to Tell If Someone Is Lying

It is completely possible to reduce the likelihood of being manipulated by others. There are slight hints within our body language that can tell you if someone is lying. The techniques used to distinguish liars and truth tellers have been studied extensively since the 1970s and have been a focus for those involved in investigations and espionage to extract valuable information. Fortunately for us, these techniques can be easily used on just about anyone to pick up subtle cues in their body language and get to the bottom of their true intentions.

Not only does it hurt to be lied to, but it can put you at a disadvantage since you’ll have false information, which ultimately affects your decision-making. Lying for personal gain or gratification is a dishonest personal trait and stamping the lies out earlier in your relationship with a person who is in communication with you will save you a whole lot of stress down the line.

Infidelity, cheating spouses, and raw dishonesty are some of the most anger-inducing experiences you can encounter because trust is key to good relationships. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a new acquaintance, or a stranger on the street, being lied to can injure your pride and ego. It can mean the difference between getting a job, spotting a cheating spouse, being at the right place at the right time, or preventing a plethora of unfortunate events if only you had the accurate information you needed.

Forensic psychologist Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, along with her collaborators Dayna Stimson and Dana R. Carney from the University of California, Berkeley, in their study on lie detection say we have good instincts at spotting at a liar, but our logical judgments let us down. “Despite the obvious advantage of detecting lies accurately, conscious judgments of veracity are only slightly more accurate than chance.”

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Computer scientist Rada Mihalcea developed a program that analyzed people who lied in court. She found there are clues that humans give naturally when they deceive, but we’re not paying close enough attention to pick them up.

Here are four secret body language signs that you can use to tell if someone is lying to you, allowing you to extract accurate information during the conversation, decide whether this person has your best interests in mind, and possibly encourage authenticity.

1. Watch Their Eye Movement

eye movement
    Courtesy of https://flic.kr/p/5p1fjr

    When a person lies, they utilize the opposite side of their brain from the side used to remember a factual event. A person’s eyes shift in the direction of the side of the brain that is being used when they answer a question. You can use this to spot someone lying by watching his or her eye movement shift when answering a question.

    Of course this is no guarantee to indicate that the person may be lying, though deciphering the lie a person is telling, will depend on the direction their eyes will start to move. For example a visually constructed image will often cause a person’s eyes to move up and to the left as they create the image using the left side of their brain constructing an image purely of their imagination. Whereas if they were to construct an image from their memory, their eyes will move up and to the right as they access the memory center of their brain.

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    When asking someone to recall auditory events, the same rules apply although their eyes will be more centered rather than up, with a left movement indicating a fabricated auditory moment and the right being based off memory. So while movement of the eyes doesn’t instantly indicate a lie, it can indicate whether their answers may be of their own construction or based from memory.

    2. Examine Their Facial Ticks

    fake smile
      Courtesy of https://flic.kr/p/33qt9Z

      First impressions are often lasting impressions. We unconsciously use what social scientists refer to as “micro-expressions” like momentary facial ticks to quickly understand someone.

      A true emotion will usually affect both sides of a person’s face equally. When a person smiles, look for facial symmetry, as this will indicate a genuine emotion. If a person is faking a smile they will hold that smile, thinking about it rather than feeling it. A fake smile can also be spotted when a person is using just the muscles of the mouth rather than their whole face as though they would with a genuine smile. This indicates that they are simply just trying to put on a smile while not realizing that a smile encompasses so much more than the muscles of the mouth.

      An even more obvious tell is for a person to subconsciously start biting their lips. This is an indication that they are hesitant to speak the words that are coming out of their mouth and is a bodily reaction to prevent the individual from speaking a lie. It could also be seen as a nervous habit displaying the unease the person may be feeling when providing you with false information.

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      3. Look for the Nervous Tell

      nervous tell
        Courtesy of https://flic.kr/p/4Boaov

        Generally, when a person lies they usually manifest outward nervous signs unconsciously, like fidgeting. Through this, their brain is trying to misdirect your attention, so as not to give away their guilt. Though some people are nervous by nature and fidget a lot anyway, you need to look for an increase in their normal behavior. Liars often try to hide or direct attention away from their body to avoid giving away too much information. When confronted with a question they may stand to the side of you or find ways of reducing their profile.

        These fidgeting tells could be unnatural movements which make them appear uncomfortable in the situation such as turning their head away, hiding their face with their hands, touching an external object or any movements which will take attention away from their eyes and face to prevent the other tells from being exposed.

        4. Read Their Hand and Arm Gestures

        open conversation
          Courtesy of https://flic.kr/p/e47eva

          When a person lies they tend to keep their hand and arm movements close to their body, keeping everything compact and close-in, as though they are overcompensating in attempting to assert control. The biggest, most obvious tell that a person is lying is when they put their hand to their face in some way (rubbing their nose, tugging their ear lobe, rubbing their eyes or forehead) when answering a question or describing an event.

          This is not only an indication that they might be nervous about providing those answers, it is a subconscious technique to cover their mouth, eyes, and face to prevent giving away further information displayed on their face, though this in itself is a strong indication of a lie.

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          I hope these four body language signs help you build your relationships. Let these be another tool in your arsenal of communication to encourage authentic communication rather than using a tell as leverage to undermine another person.

          Featured photo credit: @yourdon on Flickr via flic.kr

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          Last Updated on October 15, 2019

          How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

          How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

          What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

          To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

          All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

          There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

          With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

          What follows is a list of thirteen of the best pieces of advice from some of the most successful people who have ever lived. If you want to learn how to be successful, these 13 tips are essential:

          1. Think Big

            From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist:

            “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

            There are few artists as influential as Michaelangelo. Today centuries after his death, his work still inspires and connects to people. His work is world famous, just think of his statue of David, or the Mural in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

            Imagine then, if he decided not to work as an artist.

            Being a successful artist has always been extremely difficult, imagine if he decided to give up this ambition in favour of something easier?

            Oftentimes, people often decided to put their dreams aside for something more “realistic”. To give up their dream for something easier. This quote teaches us the danger of such a point of view.
            Instead be ambitious.

            2. Find What You Love to Do and Do It

              From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul:

              “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

              This is a good quote to remember and think about when you’re at work.

              Imagine being as successful as possible in your current job. Ultimately you’ll probably find yourself working extremely hard and this it will take up much of your time.

              If it’s a job you hate, then being successful at it might only mean filling your life with something you hate to do. What’s the sense in this?

              Instead, why not focus on doing something you love? When you’ve found what you’re passionate about, you get the motivation to keep you moving. Success at this means the fulfilment of your dreams.

              Not sure what your passion is yet? You should learn about this Motivation Engine first.

              Even if you’re not successful, you still filled your time with something you love to do. Many successful musicians spent years of their lives doing unpaid performances, the only reason they kept playing was because they loved to perform.

              3. Learn How to Balance Life

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                From Phil Knight, CEO of Nike Inc.:

                “There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”

                All too often, people think that to be successful, they need to make the object of their success their life.

                If a person thinks their job will lead them to success, then they may spend countless hours per day, and well into the evening working hard.

                However this comes at the cost of rest, your health and having an enjoyable life. Ultimately they may burn out and cease to be successful at their job anyway.

                If success comes from having a strong social life and a good group of friends, their job may suffer; meaning that they may lose their job, and then be unable to afford going out with friends.

                In these ways, success, as Phil Knight says above, is helped by balance. Think of it as a balance between rest and work, or work and play.

                To achieve that balance, this Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life can help you.

                4. Do Not Be Afraid of Failure

                  From Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motors:

                  “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

                  There is a story, it’s unconfirmed whether it actually happened, yet the message within is none the less true:

                  Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb was the result of several hundred failed attempts. In an interview, he was asked “How do you feel after all of your failed attempts?”

                  His response was great, “I didn’t fail, I learned hundreds of ways not to invent the lightbulb”

                  He saw each “failure” as a lesson. From that lesson he learned what won’t work, and also might work instead.

                  Each failed attempt, each rejection, were key steps on his path to success. It is easy to feel like you should give up after a failure. But perhaps in that failure is a lesson.

                  Pay attention to your failures, study them. Perhaps then you’ll learn how to succeed.

                  If you find it difficult to fight your fear of failure, here’s a guide for you: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It Step-By-Step)

                  5. Have an Unwavering Resolution to Succeed

                    From Colonel Sanders, Founder of KFC:

                    “I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”

                    This, in many ways relates to the above quote about learning from your failures.

                    It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

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                    If you are not truly dedicated towards success, then each failure will hurt more, each set back will slow you down.

                    Success is hard; without the unwavering desire to succeed, this difficulty may seem insurmountable. With the desire, it is merely an obstacle to go through.

                    6. Be a Person of Action

                      From Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance Genius:

                      “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

                      Though it was said hundreds of years ago, it works just as much today as it ever had. It applies to literally any successful person.

                      Think about it, picture someone like William Shakespeare:

                      When we think of the time he lived in, we think of the time in a way shaped by him. When we think of Renaissance era Italy, we think of Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. Or think about the present day, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Our current way of life would simply be incomparably different if they didn’t accomplish what they did.

                      You’re probably reading this article on a device by a company that they either founded or companies influenced by them.

                      All these figures were proactive, they saw ways to do things differently and did them. If they let the world shape them, then they’d simply fit into the background. Instead they shaped the world.

                      Applying this to you?

                      Don’t be afraid of going outside the norm. If you can think of a better way to do something, do it that way. If you fail, try again.

                      7. Cultivate Positive Relationships

                        From Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of America: “

                        The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”

                        The best leaders and some of the most influential people (and Theodore Roosevelt is one of the best leaders and one of the most influential people to have lived) were not those who caused commotions, who fought with people or disregarded people; but were people who were friendly to those around them.

                        People liked them. They wanted them to do well.

                        This is key to good leadership.

                        It’s logical. If someone likes you, they want to help you; if you give them a suggestion, they’ll gladly follow through with it.

                        But if someone doesn’t like you, they may either refuse to help or actively get in your way.

                        What’s more, it’s always a good idea to cultivate good relationships. You can never tell who will prove to become someone who’ll be able to help you in a big way, or even be a good and supportive friend.

                        As such, help people and they may help you; and be good to people, and they my be good to you.

                        8. Don’t Be Afraid of Introducing New Ideas

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                          From Mark Twain, Famed Author:

                          “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

                          It is an unfortunate truth that those with the boldest ideas are often disregarded.

                          Most of us are taught from an early age to think and do things similarly to everyone else. This can be great to fill an existing role. But to truly do things differently (and all successful people did things differently), you need to think differently.

                          If you have a new idea, don’t throw it away because it’s new and different; instead, celebrate it. Your strange new idea might one day be the one that leads you to success.

                          9. Believe in Your Capacity to Succeed

                            From Walter Disney, Founder of Walt Disney Company:

                            “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

                            Success has to be something you can imagine yourself achieving.

                            It is possible that you will come across those who doubt you and your ability to succeed. You must not become one of these people because the moment you cease believing and dreaming is the moment these dreams fall away.

                            Keep dreaming!

                            10. Always Maintain a Positive Mental Attitude

                              From Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of America:

                              “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

                              Like the above quote says, you need to trust in your ability to succeed. This is the only way to cultivate the right mindset.

                              Replace negative thoughts with the positive ones. You need to approach problems, not as obstacles stopping you, but merely tasks that need to be completed for you to keep going.

                              If you stay positive and think like this, setbacks won’t affect you so much, people’s doubts won’t impact you and even the biggest obstacles will seem like minor problems.

                              However with the wrong mindset of doubt, you’ll be much easier to stop.

                              11. Don’t Let Discouragement Stop You from Pressing On

                                From Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of America:

                                “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”

                                It is an unfortunate fact of human nature — all of us in some way, doubt ourselves. This can be made far worse if others doubt us too.

                                When surrounded by doubts, giving up can actually seem like a good idea.

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                                Don’t pay attention to the doubts. If you are discouraged, ignore it.

                                If this discouragement moves into your mind and you begin to doubt yourself. It is important to ignore this too.

                                This is How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It

                                12. Be Willing to Work Hard

                                  From JC Penny, Founder of JC Penney Inc.:

                                  “Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.”

                                  You might have heard the quote that “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration” or you may have heard about the 10,000 hours idea.

                                  Whichever way you frame it, they say one thing:

                                  True success comes from work.

                                  You’ll never become successful if you don’t work towards your goal in life and keep working towards it.

                                  Check out this article and you’ll understand Why Hard Work Beats Talent.

                                  13. Be Brave Enough to Follow Your Intuition

                                    From Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Inc.:

                                    “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

                                    In ancient Greece, there was a group of Oracles who lived in Delphi. Everyone who needed advice or to know their future visited them, from the poorest of society to kings. Above the doorway of the temple were the words “know thyself”.

                                    If you strongly believe and desire something, chances are that you already have an idea how to get there. If not, you may naturally know what things will help you and what things will slow you down.

                                    It’s like how your body can detect danger even when things seem safe.

                                    Ultimately then, you need to trust your own instincts.

                                    Final Thoughts

                                    What you might have noticed is that many of the above lessons are similar — most are about developing the right state of mind. This clearly suggests that the key to achieving success, in whatever you wish, comes down to the way you approach it mentally.

                                    Moreover, no matter what stage of life you’re at now, you can still make a difference and pursue success. You can make resetting your life possible when you do this: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

                                    More to Help You Succeed in Life

                                    Featured photo credit: Ryan Wong via unsplash.com

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