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Last Updated on January 12, 2021

9 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Calm Your Mind

9 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Calm Your Mind

People don’t realize the power of mindfulness. First, because very few understand how to correctly apply it. And also because it involves us. And the moment we get involved it becomes personal…

We start thinking that maybe we won’t know if we’re doing it right or not; if it will work; if it will be difficult; or if we fail at doing it.

But relax and trust these exercises. They are a proven method of calming your mind, and in the case of my clients, of completely eradicating anxiety too.

This is because the Applied Mindfulness Exercises that I created are specific and very effective. The exercises I am about to teach you today are not the typical misconception about what mindfulness is. I won’t give you a pep-talk, I won’t tell you to just “calm down” or to imagine yourself in a field of flowers.

These mindfulness exercises are completely applicable, practical, and yield definite results in your life — bringing your mind under your control.

Today we will go down the rabbit hole of calming an anxious mind. You will see that these mindfulness exercises are correlated, and some may even overlap a little bit.

Mindfulness will help you create strong foundations upon which you can build a strong mind, completely free from anxiety and unwanted emotions. And this is useful even if you don’t have anxiety, because anxiety is not only a mental illness but also that common moment of of fear or despair, powerlessness and so on. And it is in those moments when you most need to calm your mind.

So let’s get right into action with the first mindfulness exercise, the one that has the quickest effects — the powerful breathing exercise.

1. The 5-2-5 Breathing Exercise

People swear by this mindfulness exercise, and many of my clients have told me it’s like taking a pill, but better because it’s natural. You do the breathing exercise and your mind starts feeling more calm. It is extremely easy to do.

I call it the 5-2-5 exercise because you have to take 5 full seconds to fill your lungs completely.

Without straining, of course. But you have to go from empty lungs to full lungs in 5 seconds.

We usually breathe much faster, and shallower, but this is what does the trick: Forcing yourself to breathe slowly.

You take 5 seconds to breathe in, then hold your breath for 2 seconds and lastly, release air in 5 seconds too. This, obviously, takes 12 seconds in total, and you do this mindfulness exercise for at least 5 minutes. All while you pay attention to the way, air moves in and out of your lungs.

After you are done, you will noticeably feel more calm, your mind will be in a different, more centered state.

Don’t take my word for it. Go ahead and try it.

Now let’s move on to the other exercises.

2. If It’s Cold, Close the Windows

This one addresses the rational fears of your subconscious mind. Let me explain, you use these mindfulness exercises when your mind is agitated, right? When you don’t see a logical way out of the problematic situation, and you are at the mercy of your fears…

So, for this exercise, we will think of your agitated mind as a person inside a house; and the problematic situations, the ones provoking your turmoil, are like cold gusts of wind.

I use this simile to explain that we are often affected by situations that although perceived as very complex, are solvable.

Emotions cloud our judgment. But if we actually dare to divide, go problem by problem, and address each one of them, we will actually feel much, much better.

Let’s face it, life can be stressful… Get groceries, pick up medication, turn in that report, buy the gifts, cancel that subscription, car servicing, meet the deadline, have that difficult conversation, attend that meeting…

It’s all too much, but still things need to be done.

So, what do you do?

In the middle of the damn blizzard, we dare to take action, we painstakingly walk towards every window and we shut it close. Every single one of them. And only then we can be warm. Only then will our agitated minds find peace.

This mindfulness exercise consists in taking the time to separate all the issues we are facing. Making a list if that’s necessary. And we go one by one, determining a solution for each one.

If you have too much on your plate, determine what will happen with each situation and that alone will give your mind the peace it’s so desperately looking for.

Once again, don’t take my word for it, go ahead and do it.

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Set times for everything. Delegate. Make a plan.

This is not yet the solution, of course. But in your mind, all those undetermined situations are like open doors and windows.

And on a subconscious level, your mind just detects them as danger. And your mind just feels like a threat can cross the threshold at any minute.

You live in uncertainty, feeling threats from all places, and you are just too busy and too agitated to shut the doors.

But I know it’s not always that simple.

I know it can be more irrational sometimes, and that’s why I will talk about what to do when your fears are not quite as rational, such as anxiety… but sometimes your mind needs this.

Sometimes, it’s just your mind asking you to take care of things. So do it. Try this, and you will see it does work.

And if it’s too much, if your mind is having different problems, try the next one…

This is where we start going into True Mindfulness.

3. Recognize That Emotions Distort Your View of Reality

Sounds a little too deep, huh?

I told you, we are going down the rabbit hole.

So, what is this mindfulness exercise all about?

It’s about you realizing a big, big truth right now so that you can calm your mind more easily when you most need it.

Emotions distort the way you see things, the way you see people and situations. So, whether it is anger, fear, or sadness that is invading you, you can be sure its influence is making you see things bigger than they are.

Fear, as anxiety, will make you believe things are very dangerous.

Don’t go out, it can kill you. Don’t talk to them, they will think you’re a weirdo. She will leave you. And so on, and so on…

In anger, it’s exaggerated: They are mocking me. He must learn a lesson. He’s an idiot for not understanding what I’m saying…

And in sadness, it goes like: I won’t ever find anybody like him. I will never stop failing. I won’t recover from this one.

You know this… and you have been through this before. And yet, we love to forget about this fact of life.

We take a mistaken approach. Instead of keeping a centered view, we just accept the distorted version and, what’s worse, we decide to act upon that.

That cannot be you.

This mindfulness exercise is very simple, and all you have to do is to remember this when you are emotiona, and then correct your view. Observe events and situation as they are, nothing more. Don’t allow emotions to interfere with your judgment.

It’s a simple lesson, but the real challenge will be remembering this when you are agitated, and then to actually do the exercise.

But with lessons this simple and this powerful, I am sure you will remember and apply them.

So let’s go to the next one, which is intimately connected to this one.

4. Recognize Emotions as Temporary States

Now it’s time to turn deep mindfulness into applied mindfulness.

You know emotions distort your view, and you must also keep in mind that they are just temporary states of mind.

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There is no emotion that can last forever. And yet, through our mindlessness, we allow emotions to guide our behavior, to determine who we are, and to determine how we will live life.

This mindfulness exercise is very simple and very powerful. If you dare to look at your situation from this standpoint, things will be very different.

Instead of thinking that this is going to be your normal, you will understand that emotions are like waves; and even if it feels like crap, you will learn to “ride the wave”.

You won’t see your agitation as who you are, or how you have to react. Instead, this mindfulness exercise will give you the chance to step back and wait for it to go away.

You will learn to live life with true maturity., from a position of authority over your emotions.

It really sucks when emotions are the boss and we cannot calm ourselves. So next time you are feeling angry, sad or fearful, remember you cannot keep obeying the emotion. Remember it’s a temporary state and that it will pass. I am sure you’ve heard this before.

It is true, but now you are armed with more powerful wisdom: Emotions are just temporary states.

This mindfulness exercise is just that: To remind yourself of this when you most need it, and ride the emotional wave.

5. Refuse to Live the Dualism of Emotions

Whoa! Sounds too deep, right? Well, we are going deep into true mindfulness — lessons that will allow you to have greater control over your mind and emotions.

In order to properly apply this mindfulness exercise, you must first understand what I am teaching you:

Emotions, as many other things in life, are dualistic. There is hot and cold, day and night, peace and conflict… Emotions are the same. They can be either positive or negative. And we live in a constant, emotional ebb and flow.

One day you’re at the top of the world. The next one you feel like you won’t ever recover from this. Even if it doesn’t happen as drastically, I want you to see the truth in this.

Do you see now how you ride the emotional rollercoaster?

If there is sadness in you, you get quiet, stay at home and act all gloomy.

We all do! It’s natural.

The same goes for anger and fear, of course.

And the problem here is: We cannot be the rag-doll of our emotions.

If you are going to follow your emotions wherever they take you, you will have a hard time calming your mind when you most need it.

So the answer is simple.

For this mindfulness exercise, you must refuse to ride the emotional rollercoaster.

Understand, as we said before, that emotions are temporary states of mind. And since they are a dualistic concoction, you may as well decide not to go as low as they want you to go.

What do I mean?

You must stand above your emotions. You must recognize that going down will always end up bringing you back up anyways.

When you realize somebody is not listening to you, save the frustration. Don’t go there. Don’t ride the dualistic rollercoaster. You will be back at “neutral” later anyways.

Why bother behaving frustrated? If the store ran out of that product you wanted, let it slip. You will go back to normal anyways.

What I am saying here is, save the ups and downs and stay in the middle. Learn to take the good as it comes, and learn too to let it go whenever it must go.

And the bad? Learn to let it come without putting so much resistance.

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Living in dualistic emotions will have you agitated, affected by the times you go down.

Recognize instead that you will always eventually end up in the middle, in the “baseline” so to speak.

Remember this when you are feeling agitated: Don’t bother taking the emotion too seriously.

6. Embrace Chaos, and Operate Within It

Your mind is agitated. You find yourself in a situation you don’t like, and you feel bad.

What do you do?

You lean into the chaos, into the things you are not liking. And you attempt to change them.

Now, I understand that this may sound a bit contradicting. I have been telling you that you shouldn’t act out your emotions and now I tell you to attempt to do something surrounded by the chaos?

Well, it’s different.

Because the key in this mindfulness exercise is to recognize the true solution to the conflicts you are going through. Embracing the chaos when very angry doesn’t mean to go ahead and punch somebody in the face; instead, it means to look at what the true solution might be, for example, being understood.

You see?

If you are very angry because somebody is not listening to you, you dare to change the situation, but not from anger; instead, you switch your language and body language and state things clearly: “I think you do not understand me, and I need you to listen to me.”

Two different things.

The same goes for sadness.

If you are sad because you lost someone, you cannot even change it. So what do you do?

You analyze what the true solution might be: To find solace through resignation.

The key here is to look at what the true solution might be, beyond emotions.

So it becomes more simple if you see it this way: The goal is to return to a state where you are not influenced by your emotions.

Therefore, you must find ways to not be angry. The enemy becomes sadness, not the situation. The enemy is fear itself, not the conflict. And the key is to ask yourself: What can I do to bring down my emotions? Right there, you will find the answer.

I know, very deep, right? And also philosophical.

In the end, this is what mindfulness is, a liberating perspective.

On with the next one.

7. Take a Long Walk

Let’s take a break from the deep and complex ones and talk about a very simple mindfulness exercise. Steve Jobs used to do this one.

We are so caught up with tasks, conflicts and everyday drama that our minds don’t have a single moment of peace. Taking a walk changes this.

Leave your phone behind, take your keys and nothing more. This gives you time to mentally shut the windows we talked about above.

But that’s not all. I specifically said a long walk. This is because, for the first minutes, your mind will circle the conflicts we just talked about; precisely the ones we are trying to put an end to.

So, the first minutes, when your mind is still agitated and busy with these matters, the exercise won’t even count.

The real mindfulness exercise begins when your mind can get off those matters and then you are “free” from all that.

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Long walks are 30-minute long at least, so don’t try to rush it. Take your time. Don’t try to force yourself into anything.

Allow your mind to wander as you go. And always explore new places.

If you are expecting more specific instructions here, I am sorry to disappoint you: This is all you must do.

Just walk, and see the results for yourself.

8. Get Busy

This mindfulness exercise is also very simple. All it takes is to engage with full attention with something important enough.

As humans, we also have a tendency of dwelling on things that don’t deserve that much mental space. When this happens, it’s time to move on.

The best way to do this is to truly engage in what you are doing. First, because it’s obviously a distraction, and you need it to move on. And secondly because you will also be applying yourself, meaning, you will be actively changing your situation and your state of mind.

In other words: You will go from passive, to active.

Which takes me to the last mindfulness exercise…

9. Start from a Perspective of Power and Capability, Instead of One of Powerlessness

Think about it, when our minds are agitated, we cannot help but think we are at a disadvantage. Can you see this in a recent situation in your life?

We feel discomfort and negative emotions because of two things:

  • We don’t like where we are, and…
  • We don’t see a clear and definite way of getting to where we want to.

Because of this, we feel at a loss.

We feel the disadvantage of not knowing what to do, and we are at the mercy of our emotions and the situation.

But what if we did it the other way around?

That’s the hack that allows this mindfulness exercise to work — to shift your mind.

If, instead of starting from a position of disadvantage, you shift to a position of power, you will effectively use your capacities better.

Instead of not knowing what to say, you will tap into your creativity.

Instead of caving in to despair, you will remind yourself of your capabilities.

Instead of fear, you will be willing to put up a fight.

Think about how much this brings to the table. You are automatically going from a position of disadvantage, to one of power, one that will actually help you overcome the conflict you are facing.

In short, whenever you feel your mind in turmoil, shift from the emotion-led behavior, to counting the advantages you have over the situation.

Go from victim to protagonist. This is an immediate game-changer, with no learning curve. I am sure you will see results from the very first time you use this mindfulness exercise.

In fact, all of these have a significant result in helping you calm your mind, and so the true challenge here becomes remembering the lessons in this article.

Final Thoughts

Lastly, I want to say that I understand if your emotions are more stubborn than this.

Anxiety is particularly stubborn and if none of this seems to work, feel free to head to my website and there you will find the first step to bring down your levels of anxiety. If you are looking for a cure for anxiety, that’s the place where you should start. I help people defeat anxiety, cure depression, overcome OCD, Pure-O, PTSD, trauma and loss with the sole use of mindfulness techniques.

All this is possible for you if you create a strong mind, and that’s exactly what I can teach you. So, be sure to take a look at my profile and send me your questions if you have any.

May you find the strength necessary to attain a perfect mind.

More About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

More by this author

George Alonso

Mental Health Expert, creator of the Transcendental Mindfulness Therapy.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

How to Cope With the Stages of Grief and Heal After Loss

How to Cope With the Stages of Grief and Heal After Loss

The death of a loved one is, unfortunately, something most of us have experienced or will experience at some point in our lives, but grief and loss are not felt only when someone passes away. You may move through the stages of grief quickly or slowly, and you may even find yourself moving back to a stage you thought you had passed. People grieve differently, and there is no correct way to grieve in any situation.

A close friend or family member moving away, a divorce or breakup, loss of a job, as well as a number of other life experiences can cause feelings of grief or loss. Coping with loss is one of the most stressful and difficult things we have to deal with in life, but it is an experience everyone can relate to.

The Stages of Grief

The five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are related to the common emotions we go through when we experience loss. This grief model was identified by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969[1].

However, because everyone is different, there is no “standard” way to react to grief and loss.[2]

Some people will wear their emotions on their sleeves and be outwardly emotional. Others will experience their grief more internally, and may not cry. You should try not to judge how a person experiences grief, as each person will experience it differently.

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Stages of grief

    Stage 1: Denial

    The feeling of shock when you first find out about a loss can lead to thinking, “This isn’t real.” This is a temporary way to deal with the rush of overwhelming emotion and a defense mechanism for your mind.[3]

    Stage 2: Anger

    Feelings of frustration and helplessness take hold during this stage. Thoughts like “It’s not fair” can be common. Even being angry at your loved one who died for “leaving you behind” is natural. This anger can spill over into your close relationships, and you can find yourself getting angry at those around you for no apparent reason.

    Stage 3: Bargaining

    During this stage, you are constantly thinking about what you could have done to prevent the loss. Thoughts of “What if…” and “If only…” replay in the mind. You might also try to bargain with a higher power in hopes of reversing the loss.

    Stage 4: Depression

    This stage brings the deep sadness you feel as you realize the loss is irreversible. You think about how your life will be affected by the loss. Crying, loss of appetite, feelings of loneliness, and unusual sleeping patterns are all signs of depression.

    Stage 5: Acceptance

    You accept the loss, and although you’re still sad, you slowly start to move on with your life and settle in to your new reality.

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    The stages of grief don’t have to be in this order, and you might not experience all stages. There is also no set time period for grieving, and some people take longer to heal than others.

    How to Heal From Grief and Loss

    When you’re experiencing those heartbreaking feelings and the stages of grief, it’s hard to believe that you’ll eventually heal, but you really will. Here are some ways to help the healing process:

    1. Confront the Painful Emotions

    Try not to bottle up your emotions. Allow yourself to express how you feel. It’s a healthy part of the grieving process.[4]

    If you’re not ready to get together with friends and family to talk about how you’re feeling, you can work with your emotions through mindful meditation, which can help create space for you to take a look at what you’re feeling and why.

    2. Talk About It

    When you’re ready and have entered the final stages of grief, talking to someone about the way you are feeling can be very helpful in starting the healing process. Often, people want to isolate themselves while grieving, but being around friends and family can help. Talking can also help you to confront your emotions if you have been unable to.

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    3. Keep up With Your Routine

    Loss can make you feel like your world has been turned upside down. As you move through the stages of grief, getting through your daily routine may feel more difficult, which can cause you to put self-care to the side. Keeping up with your routine can help bring back some normality and ensure you are showing yourself love and consideration.

    4. Take Care of Yourself

    When you are grieving and depressed, simple things like eating become an afterthought, and sleeping may become difficult. Taking care of yourself and your health will help with the healing process.

    While you may not do everything you were doing before your loss, try to do one act of self-care each day. It can be taking a long bath, going for a walk, making a nice meal, or even practicing a hobby once you feel ready. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated; it just needs to be something that makes you feel good.

    5. Don’t Make Any Major Decisions

    Grief clouds the ability to make sound decisions.[5] Try to postpone making any big decisions for a while or get guidance from close friends or family if you can’t put it off.

    Grief may also make you feel like making major changes to your life, such as quitting a job or ending a relationship. Try to remember that now is not the best time to make these changes, and hold off further consideration until you have moved through all of the stages of grief.

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    The Bottom Line

    It is important to heal after a loss so that you can get on with life. There is no set time period for grieving, but if you feel that your grief isn’t getting better, and you are unable to accept the loss, it might be time to seek advice from a mental health professional.

    In the meantime, accept that now is a difficult time, but that it will get better. Time will inevitably help and make the pain less powerful. One day, you will wake up and realize the pain is simply a small echo in the back of your mind and that you have successfully moved through each of the stages of grief. It’s time to get back to your life.

    More on Dealing With the Stages of Grief

    Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

    Reference

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