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Life Is Cruel To Us Sometimes, But We Can Choose Not To Be Knocked Down

Life Is Cruel To Us Sometimes, But We Can Choose Not To Be Knocked Down

Life has a habit of throwing us in the rubbish dump sometimes. It can be hard to find our way out and days can feel like a struggle to feel normal again. Feeling knocked down can lead to feelings of apathy, of giving up because you feel beaten down.

But as hard as it feels sometimes, receiving a cruel blow by fate can present us with unique opportunities — opportunities to rebuild our lives and use it as fuel to create a second chance of living life in a new and positive way.

The actor Keanu Reeves has never shied away from his traumatic past. Having gone through dark times in his life, he has openly talked about how the struggles have affected him, how he chose to use these tragic experiences to mold a positive outlook and how it shaped his life. He is a true inspiration for using each setback as a reason to push forward and become a better person.

Prove Yourself Despite Personal Struggles

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Keanu Reeves 2

    As a young boy, Keanu Reeves grew up without the influence of his father after he left his mother when Keanu was just three years old. Moving from city to city meant Reeves attended several different schools, making it difficult to make friends, all while he struggled hugely with dyslexia.

    While this isn’t an uncommon life situation for many, Reeves has spoken of the challenges he faced leaving school without gaining a diploma. But through determination, he overcame his difficulty of reading and is now an avid reader.

    Struggles from such an early age can influence us to a much greater extent, but we do have the ability to change how we feel and our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves — beliefs that have often been ingrained in us from our early years. We can choose to use them as excuses to struggle our way through life or use them as a torch to guide us onto a better path.

    Recognize the Construction That Comes From Destruction

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    Keanu Reeves 1

      The most tragic part of his life was to start at the age of 23 when his closest friend River Phoenix died of a drug overdose. He spoke of his grief at the loss of such a young, talented person in his life.

      “He was a remarkable human, person, and actor. We got along very well, and I miss him. I think of him often.”

      But it wasn’t long afterward that he met and fell in love with Jennifer Syme  — a whirlwind romance that resulted in Jennifer becoming pregnant shortly after. But with a month of the pregnancy to go, their baby daughter was stillborn, which was something that both found hard to come to terms with. The relationship eventually broke down, and it was a year later that Jennifer was tragically killed in a car accident.

      While we all experience grief at some point in our lives, to have such loss at such a young age would make even the strongest person feel lost and bereaved. But Keanu used his dark experiences to perceive loss as gain, to reconstruct his life and adopt a positive mindset and attitude towards life.

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      Use the Hard Times to Flourish

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        While it’s easy to run and hide when tragedy enters our lives, the key to continuing on your path is to use your experiences — both good and bad — to create a better version of yourself.

        Keanu’s ability to push on led him to become a successful actor starring in huge blockbuster movies. He strived to do what he loved and has shown that adversity doesn’t have to break you — you can come out on the other side.

        Despite becoming a wealthy man, Keanu says his experiences of loss have made him look differently toward money. He is a big giver to charities and often gave away his earnings to the set staff, even when it meant taking cuts to make sure movie budgets were adhered to. His generosity is down to a different way of looking at life with a more humble foresight and sense of gratitude towards the world around him.

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        Going through experiences such as loss, pain, suffering, loneliness, and devastation has a way of showing us the need to appreciate what we have. We have within us the potential to bounce back stronger and more resilient than before. We can learn to be at peace with the beauty that life offers. It’s an opportunity to see that life is short and should be lived to its optimum, an opportunity to becoming our true self and how we can come out a better person on the other side.

        Featured photo credit: wallpapersdsc.net via wallpapersdsc.net

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        Jenny Marchal

        A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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        Last Updated on October 17, 2019

        How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

        How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

        You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

        But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

        Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

        What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

        Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

        So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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        1. Recognize the Signs

        If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

        Some telltale signs include:

        • You’re always on your phones.
        • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
        • You aren’t together during important events.
        • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
        • You don’t make plans or date nights.
        • You’re not happy.

        If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

        2. Try New Things Together

        Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

        Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

        Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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        Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

        3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

        Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

        Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

        Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

        4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

        One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

        Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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        5. Cook Meals Together

        Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

        One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

        Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

        If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

        6. Have a Regular Date Night

        Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

        The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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        Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

        • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
        • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
        • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
        • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
        • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
        • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
        • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

        Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

        Final Thoughts

        The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

        • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
        • Lowers divorce rates
        • Improves communication
        • Reduces marital boredom
        • Bonds couples closer
        • Improves friendship
        • Boosts health
        • Reduces stress

        These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

        It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

        These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

        Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

        Reference

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