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6 Things I Am Too Old For (But That Means I’ve Matured)

6 Things I Am Too Old For (But That Means I’ve Matured)

Getting older is tough. You’re not as energetic and vibrant as you used to be. Your health deteriorates, and sometimes you may even lose your precious hair. But there is another important aspect of aging, and it is that you don’t find time or patience for the things you have done as a younger person, things that you are too old for. Now, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can actually be looked at as a good virtue–it means that you have matured.

If you’re experiencing this feeling, rejoice and take pride in it, maturity the result a full life’s learning. It is wisdom. Here are six things that you may feel too old for, but it just means that you’ve matured.

1. Keeping What You Want To Express In Heart

Older, more mature people, simply do not find the patience to bottle up their thoughts when they sense that something was done wrong, or unjustly. Either to them, or to other people around them. Younger people, fearful of stepping out of line of their peers, do not always do the same, unless it is widely acceptable for them to shout out. Yet, older, mature people, do not care for their popularity scale.

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When something is wrong, it needs fixing, plain and simple, even if it means that you’ll have to face some social inconvenience.

2. Worrying How Others Perceive You

If there’s anything that is associated to young people, is the strive to make good impression on others, the need to fit in. You simply cannot act as you’d wish to, always keeping yourself concerned about “what will others think of me?”

This is where growing up and becoming mature shows its virtue. As you grow, you realize that whatever others might think of you, will not really change your everyday life. Especially if those involved are actually complete strangers. It finally befalls on you that walking around down the streets with a stained shirt will not make much of an impact on your life, and most definitely should not shape your everyday behavior.

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One important aspect of being mature is being able to differentiate the crucial from the ridiculous. And to be completely honest, you really don’t have anymore patience to change shirts over a small stain after all of these years.

3. Making Excuses For Your Mistakes

As a young person, every mistake you make seems like the end, and your world swirls and turning upside down the more you think of it. If it was bringing a friend over and finding out that you have unclean laundry dropped down on the floor, or if you loaned something from a friend and you realized that it simply slipped out of your mind to bring it back to him the next time you met. Mistakes, for young people, are devastating. Therefore, they will always find excuses to make up for them, not much for others, but more for themselves, so they’ll be able to sleep peacefully at night.

As you get older, and more mature, you realize that mistakes are simply mistakes. No reason to beat yourself down for them, and no reason to justify them for other. You are human, and you make mistakes, just like everyone. You will try to do better next time, but even if you will not, it’s not like you have done it on purpose.

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4. Spending Time On Anything That Is Not Worth It

It can be a person, an animal, or a thing. It doesn’t really matter. Unlike young people, who are obsessed with enlarging their social circle, and with having many things, older and mature people perceive these things as suitable use of their time. When you keep in touch with people you don’t care for only to increase your number of Facebook friends, or when you accumulate possessions as a result of a constant fear that you might “need them one day”, you are actually throwing away that precious little time you have in this world.

Older, more mature people understand this problem, and so they do not bother with people they don’t care about, and possessions they have no sentiment or need for.

5. Guilty Pleasure

Why does the phrase “guilty pleasure” even exists? Why do we need to feel guilty for whatever it is that give us pleasure? Truth is, that it should not, and mature people understand this best. Guilty pleasure comes from the fear of younger people from being percieved as “different” or even “weird”, forgetting that whatever we like best make us special and unique.

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Older and mature people couldn’t care less of what other people might think of their own personal pleasures, and quite frankly, there’s really no reason for them to start.

6. Looking For The Good In Every Person You Know

Well, it’s not like mature people don’t want to look for it, it’s just that they do not care for trying too hard by now. They go by their guts, and take a calculated assumption on whether they’d get along with the other person or not. Young people, on the other hand, are compelled to getting along with different people as part of their never ending social life.

Older people care more dearly about their time, and on whoever they might invest it upon. They don’t want to dig into another person’s life in order to find a shining good in it, they simply have neither the patience, nor the time.

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Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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