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The Thief In All Of Us

The Thief In All Of Us

Have you ever held back on taking a step towards your career just because you thought of all the bad things that could go wrong?

“What if I failed? What if people never get to appreciate me? What if I die before I ever become known in my career?”

Have you ever changed plans on doing that one thing you felt would finally give you the liberation you seek just because the thought of being rejected invaded your mind? Have you ever denied yourself of totally being in love with someone because you felt you were not good enough for them and that fear kept you from bonding with them? If this sounds like you, then you might have a thief living deep inside your mind, and his or her name is Fear.

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    Fear is an enemy. One that comes to steal our lives from us in broad daylight, while we are wide awake and right in the middle of making a decision that is pivotal to our lives. Fear is most times unjustified, unrealistic, nameless, and unreasoning. I have had my own share of fear moments. Times when all I could see was a monster in the dark, and really I am very optimistic person, but when this thief called fear visits, your personality just doesn’t matter.

    However, I don’t think fear is all that bad. Sometimes, fear keeps us from making a wrong decision. Or, for some people, fear is the very reason they go ahead to achieve that goal they were scared of. The fear of failure pushes them to do extra and achieve more. This is putting the emotion called fear to good use; taking that which poses a threat and using it as a propeller for great achievement. For good.

    But for many, fear keeps us on hold. Fear keeps us captive. Fear stops us from breathing right when we need oxygen most. Fear makes us see the negatives to the situation and blinds us to the very obvious positives. Fear saps the very life out of us.

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      As much as fear appears to be real and big, it is only a product of our subconscious mind. You read that right. There’s nothing in the dark. Fear does not exist anywhere else but in the mind. Those things you are really afraid of are not real, it’s only happening in your mind. They are false evidences appearing real. And like everything else, what you pay attention to soon becomes your reality. Can you see why you need not pay attention to it?

      One thing fear does is steal the fuel for our drive and stops us from living the life we really want. Once you let fear rule over your decisions and choices, you may never get to that point of freedom where you define your life on your own terms. Every time you consider what could go wrong in your life, business, career, or relationship before taking a step, you are limiting your happiness and fulfillment as a person. Living perpetually in fear is as good as being dead. The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to be dead while alive.

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        Fear stops you from living even before you stop breathing. Fear keeps you on the edge and makes you average even when you are born with greatness. It crawls up slowly into your mind and deposits thoughts of doubt in there, creating a darkness that never once existed. Fear tells you cannot be great, though you have greatness in you. Fear tells you that you will fail at that project, but you have all it takes to be excellent at it. Fear tells you not to fall in love again because your partner will leave you just the way others have left, but you know what? You are just a decision away from finally meeting your dream partner. Fear is an enemy because it sells you the wrong perspective with the intent to stop you from living life to its fullest!

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          If you don’t want your life filled with regrets, you need to give up on fear. I haven’t seen one person who lived all their life in total fear and proclaimed they lived a fulfilling and satisfied life. At some point, you have to make a decision to live above your fears. Your fears should not become stumbling blocks to your greatness but a ladder with which you climb to the top of self realization and fulfillment.

          To that end, here are some tips that can help anyone looking to free themselves of this enemy. These tips have worked for me personally and I believe they will be of help to you too.

          1. Identify Your Fears

          What you do not know, you cannot confront. Pay close attention to your inner space, your mind. What are you really afraid of? What pictures do you see in your head? Take a mental view of what goes on in your mind. Stay conscious to your subconscious.

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          2. Talk To Someone

          When negative thoughts build up in your mind, one way to dispel them is to talk to someone. It could be a therapist, a trusted friend, your spouse, your kids, your parents — anybody you feel comfortable talking with. You don’t have to hold all that negative energy in. Talking about it stops the negative thoughts from gaining a foothold in your mind, and this is good if you really want to get rid of fear.

          3. Be Positive

          Negativity is the seed that bears the fruit called fear. Nip it in the bud by remaining positive. Instead of thinking of how bad things can get, think of how good things are and could be. Don’t focus too much on the negative.

          4. Face Your Fears

          Never run away from your fears. Don’t make excuses for them. Face them and sort them out with logic and reason. This will forever dissipate their existence in your mind. Take action. When you face your fears, they become weaker because you begin to see that things are not nearly as bad as what you think they are.

          Don’t let fear stop your awesomeness!

          Featured photo credit: IB Wira Dyatmika via unsplash.com

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          Last Updated on March 30, 2020

          Why You’re Feeling Tired All the Time (And What to Do About It)

          Why You’re Feeling Tired All the Time (And What to Do About It)

          Feeling tired all the time?

          Have you ever caught yourself nodding off when you’re watching TV, listening to someone drone on during a meeting or even driving a car?

          I know I have, especially when I worked 70 hours per week as a High-Tech Executive.

          Feeling tired all the time may be more widespread than you think. In fact, two-fifths of Americans are tired most of the week.[1]

          If you’re tired of feeling tired, then I’ve got some great news for you. New research is helping us gain critical insights into the underlying causes of feeling tired all the time.

          In this article, we’ll discuss the latest reasons why you’re feeling tired all the time and practical steps you can take to finally get to the bottom of your fatigue and feel rested.

          What Happens When You’re Too Tired

          If you sleep just two hours less than the normal eight hours, you could be as impaired as someone who has consumed up to three beers.[2] And you’ve probably experienced the impact yourself.

          Here are some common examples of what happens when you’re feeling tired:[3]

          • You may have trouble focusing because memory and learning functions may be impaired within your brain.
          • You may experience mood swings and an inability to differentiate between what’s important and what’s not because your brain’s neurotransmitters are misfiring.
          • You may get dark circles under your eyes and/or your skin make look dull and lackluster in the short term and over time your skin may get wrinkles and show signs of aging because your body didn’t have time to remove toxins during sleep.
          • You may find it more difficult to exercise or to perform any type of athletic activity.
          • Your immune system may weaken causing you to pick up infections more easily.
          • You may overeat because not getting enough sleep activates the body’s endocannabinoids even when you’re not hungry.
          • Your metabolism slows down so what you eat is more likely to be stored as belly fat.

          Are you saying that feeling tired can make me overweight?

          Unfortunately, yes!

          Feeling tired all the time can cause you to put on the pounds especially around your waist. But it is a classic chicken and egg situation, too.

          Heavier people are more likely to feel fatigued during the day than lighter ones. And that’s even true for overweight people who don’t have sleep apnea (source: National Institutes of Health).

          Speaking of sleep apnea, you may be wondering if that or something else is causing you to feel tired all the time.

          Why Are you Feeling Tired All the Time?

          Leading experts are starting to recognize that there are three primary reasons people feel tired on a regular basis: sleep deprivation, fatigue and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS).

          Here’s a quick overview of each root cause of feeling tired all of the time:

          1. Tiredness occurs from sleep deprivation when you don’t get high-quality sleep consistently. It typically can be solved by changing your routine and getting enough deep restorative sleep.
          2. Fatigue occurs from prolonged sleeplessness which could be triggered by numerous issues such as mental health issues, long-term illness, fibromyalgia, obesity, sleep apnea or stress. It typically can be improved by changing your lifestyle and using sleep aids or treatments, if recommended by your physician.
          3. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is a medical condition also known as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis that occurs from persistent exhaustion that doesn’t go away with sleep.

          The exact cause of CFS is not known, but it may be due to problems with the immune system, a bacterial infection, a hormone imbalance or emotional trauma.

          It typically involves working with a doctor to rule out other illnesses before diagnosing and treating CFS.[4]

          Always consult a physician to get a personal diagnosis about why you are feeling tired, especially if it is a severe condition.

          Feeling Tired vs Being Fatigued

          If lack of quality sleep doesn’t seem to be the root cause for you, then it’s time to explore fatigue as the reason you are frequently feeling tired.

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          Until recently, tiredness and fatigue were thought to be interchangeable. Leading experts now realize that tiredness and fatigue are different.

          Tiredness is primarily about lack of sleep.

          But fatigue is a perceived feeling of being tired that is much more likely to occur in people who have depression, anxiety or emotional stress and/or are overweight and physically inactive (source: Science Direct).

          Symptoms of fatigue include:

          • Difficulty concentrating
          • Low stamina
          • Difficulty sleeping
          • Anxiety
          • Low motivation

          These symptoms may sound similar to those of tiredness but they usually last longer and are more intense.

          Unfortunately, there is no definitive reason why fatigue occurs because it can be a symptom of an emotional or physical illness. But there are still a number of steps you can take to reduce difficult symptoms by making a few simple lifestyle changes.

          How Much Sleep Is Enough?

          The number one reason you may feel tired is because of sleep deprivation which means you are not getting enough high-quality sleep.

          Most adults need 7 to 9 hours of high-quality, uninterrupted sleep per night. If you’re sleep deprived, the amount of sleep you need increases.

          So, quantity and quality do matter when it comes to sleep.

          The key to quality sleep is being able to get long, uninterrupted sleep cycles throughout the night. It typically takes 90 minutes for you to reach a state of deep REM sleep where your body’s healing crew goes to work.

          Ideally, you want to get at least 3 to 4 deep REM sleep cycles in per night. That’s why it’s so important to stay asleep for 7 or more hours.

          Research also shows that people who think they can get by on less sleep don’t perform as well as people who get at least seven hours of sleep a night[5] So, you should definitely plan on getting seven hours of deep restorative sleep every night.

          If you are not getting 7 hours of high-quality sleep regularly, then sleep deprivation is most likely reason you feel tired all the time.

          And that is good news because sleep deprivation is much simpler and easier to address than the other root causes.

          It’s also a good idea to rule out sleep deprivation as the reason why you are tired before moving on to the other possibilities such as fatigue or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which may require a doctor for diagnosis and treatment.

          4 Simple Changes to Reduce Fatigue

          Personally, I’m a big believer in upgrading your lifestyle to uplift your life. I overcame chronic stress and exhaustion by making these four changes to my lifestyle:

          1. Eating healthy, home-cooked meals versus microwaving processed foods or eating out
          2. Exercising regularly
          3. Using stressbusters
          4. Creating a bedtime routine to sleep better

          So, I know it is possible to change your lifestyle even when you’re working crazy hours and have lots of family responsibilities.

          After I made the 4 simple changes in my lifestyle, I no longer felt exhausted all of the time.

          In addition, I lost two inches off my waist and looked and felt better than ever.

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          I was so excited that I wanted to help others replace stress and exhaustion with rest and well-being, too. That’s why I became a Certified Holistic Wellness Coach through the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute.

          Interestingly enough, I discovered that Dr. Sears recommends a somewhat similar L.E.A.N. lifestyle:

          • L is for Lifestyle and means living healthy including getting enough sleep.
          • E is for Exercise and means getting at least 20 minutes of exercise a day ideally for six days a week.
          • A is for Attitude and means thinking positive and reducing stress whenever possible.
          • N is for Nutrition and means emphasizing a right-fat diet, not a low-fat diet.

          The L.E.A.N. lifestyle is a scientifically-proven way to reduce fatigue, get to the optimal weight and to achieve overall wellness.[6]

          And yes, there does seem to be an important correlation between being lean and feeling rested.

          But overall based on my personal experience and Dr. Sear’s scientific proof, the key to not feeling tired all of the time does seem to be 4 simple changes to your lifestyle.

          L — Living Healthy

          Getting enough high-quality sleep every day is the surefire way to help you feel less fatigued, more rested and better overall.

          So, whether you’re sleep deprived or potentially suffering from fatigue or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, you probably want to find a way to sleep better.

          In fact, if you aren’t getting enough sleep, your body isn’t getting the time it needs to repair itself; meaning that if you are suffering from an illness, it’s far more likely to linger.

          As unlikely as it sounds, though, fatigue can sometimes make it difficult to sleep. That’s why I’d recommend taking a look at your bedtime routine before you go to bed and optimize it based on sleep best practices.

          Here are 3 quick and easy tips for creating a pro-sleep bedtime routine:

          1. Unplug

          Many of us try to unwind by watching TV or doing something on an iPhone or tablet. But tech can affect your melatonin production due to the blue light that they emit, fooling your body into thinking it’s still daytime.

          So turn off all tech one hour before bed and create a tech-free zone in your bedroom.

          2. Unwind

          Do something to relax.

          Use the time before bed to do something you find relaxing such as reading a book, listening to soothing music, meditating or taking an Epsom salt bath.

          3. Get Comfortable

          Ensure your bed is comfortable and your room is set up for sleep.

          Make sure you room is cool. 60-68 degrees is the ideal temperature for most people to sleep.

          Also, it’s ideal if your bedroom is dark and there is no noise.

          Finally, make sure everything is handled (e.g., laying out tomorrow’s clothes) before you get into your nice, comfy bed.

          If your mind is still active, write a to-do list to help you fall asleep faster.[7]

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          Above all, be gentle with yourself and count your blessings, some sheep or whatever helps.

          This article also offers practical tips to build a bedtime routine: How to Build a Good Bedtime Routine That Makes Your Morning Easier

          E — Exercise

          Many people know that exercise is good for them, but just can’t figure out how to fit it into their busy schedules.

          That’s what happened in my case.

          But when my chronic stress and exhaustion turned into systemic inflammation (which can lead to major diseases like Alzheimer’s), I realized it was time to change my lifestyle.

          As part of my lifestyle upgrade, I knew I needed to move more.

          My friends who exercise all gave me the same advice: find an exercise you like to do and find a specific time in your schedule when you can consistently do it.

          That made sense to me.

          So, I decided to swim.

          I used to love to swim when I was young, but I hadn’t done it for years. The best time for me to do it was immediately after work, since I could easily get an open swim lane at my local fitness club then.

          Also, swimming became a nice reason for me to leave work on time. And I got to enjoy a nice workout before eating dinner.

          Swimming is a good way to get your cardio or endurance training. But, walking, running and dancing are nice alternatives.

          So find an exercise you love and stick to it. Ideally, get a combination of endurance training, strength training and flexibility training in during your daily 20-minute workout.

          If you haven’t exercised in a while and have a lot of stress in your life, you may want to give yoga a try because you will increase your flexibility and lower your stress.

          A — Attitude

          Stress may be a major reason why you aren’t feeling well all of the time. At least that was the case with me.

          When I worked 70 hours per week as a High-Tech Executive, I felt chronically stressed and exhausted. But there was one thing that always worked to help me feel calmer and less fatigued.

          Do you want to know what that master stress-busting technique was?

          Breathing.

          But not just any old breathing. It was a special form of deep Yogic breathing called the “Long-Exhale Breathing” or “4-7-8 breathing” or “Pranayama” in Sanskrit).

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          Here’s how you do “Long-Exhale Breathing”:

          1. Sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight and your hand on your tummy (so you know you are breathing deeply from your diaphragm and not shallowly from your chest)
          2. Breathe in deeply and slowly from your diaphragm with your mouth closed while you count to 4 (ideally until your stomach feels full of air)
          3. Hold your breath while you count to 7 mentally and enjoy the stillness
          4. Breathe out through your mouth with a “ha” sound while you count to 8 (or until your stomach has no more air in it)
          5. Pause after you finish your exhale while you notice the sense of wholeness and relaxation from completing one conscious, deep, long exhale breath
          6. Repeat 3 times ensuring your exhale is longer than your inhale so you relax your nervous system

          This type of “long-exhale breathing” is scientifically proven to reduce stress.

          When your exhale is twice as long as your inhale, it soothes your parasympathetic nervous system, which regulates the relaxation response.[8]

          Plus, this is a great technique for helping you get to sleep, too.

          N — Nutrition

          Diet is vital for beating fatigue – after all, food is your main source of energy.

          If your diet is poor, then it implies you’re not getting the nutrients you need to sustain healthy energy levels.

          Eating a diet for fatigue doesn’t need to be complicated, time-consuming though.

          For most people, it’s just a case of swapping a few unhealthy foods for a few healthier ones, like switching from low-fiber, processed foods to whole, high-fiber foods.

          Unless your current diet is solely made up of fast food and ready meals, adjusting to a fatigue-fighting diet shouldn’t be too much of a shock to the system.

          Here’re 9 simple diet swaps you can make today:

          1. Replace your morning coffee with Matcha green tea and drink only herbal tea within six hours of bedtime.
          2. Add a healthy fat or protein to your any carb you eat, especially if you eat before bed. Please note that carb-only snacks lead to blood-sugar crashes that can make you eat more and they can keep you from sleeping.
          3. Fill up with fiber especially green leafy vegetables. Strive to get at least 25g per day with at least 5 servings (a serving is the size of your fist) of green vegetables.
          4. Replace refined, processed, low-fiber pastas and grains with zucchini noodles and whole grains such as buckwheat, quinoa, sorghum, oats, amaranth, millet, teff, brown rice and corn.
          5. Swap natural sweeteners for refined sugars and try to ensure you don’t get more than 25g of sugar a day if you are a woman and 30g of sugar a day if you are a man.
          6. Replace ice cream with low-sugar alternatives such as So Delicious Dairy-Free Vanilla Bean Coconut Ice Cream.
          7. Swap omega-6, partially-hydrogenated oils such as corn, palm, sunflower, safflower, cotton, canola and soybean oil for omega-3 oils such as flax, olive and nut oils.
          8. Replace high-sugar yoghurts with low-sugar, dairy-free yoghurts such as Kite Hill Plain Yoghurt with 1g sugar or Lifeway Farmer Cheese with 0g sugar.
          9. Swap your sugar-laden soda for sparkling water with a splash of low-sugar juice

          Also, ensure your diet is giving you enough of the daily essential vitamins and minerals. Most of us don’t get enough Vitamin D, Vitamin B-12, Calcium, Iron and Magnesium. If you are low on any of the above vitamins and minerals, you may experience fatigue and low energy.

          That’s why it’s always worth having your doctor check your levels. If you find any of them are low, then try to eat foods rich in them.

          Alternatively, you might consider a high-quality multi-vitamin or specific supplement.

          The Bottom Line

          If you are tired of feeling tired, then there is tremendous hope.

          If you are tired because you are not getting enough high-quality sleep, then the best remedy is a bedtime routine based on sleep best practices.

          If you are tired because you have stress and fatigue, then the best remedy are four simple lifestyle changes including:

          • Enough High-Quality Sleep with Bedtime Routine
          • Regular Exercise You Love
          • Stress Reduction with Long-Exhale Breathing
          • Fatigue-Reducing Diet

          Overall, adopting a healthier lifestyle Is the ideal remedy for feeling more rested and energized.

          More Tips to Help You Rest Better

          Featured photo credit: Cris Saur via unsplash.com

          Reference

          [1] YouGov: Two-fifths of Americans are tired most of the week
          [2] National Safety Council: Is Your Company Confronting Workplace Fatigue?
          [3] The New York Times: Why Are We So Freaking Tired?
          [4] Mayo Clinic: Chronic fatigue syndrome
          [5] Mayo Clinic: Lack of sleep: Can it make you sick?
          [6] Ask Dr. Sears: The L.E.A.N. Lifestyle
          [7] American Psychological Association: Getting a Good Night’s Sleep
          [8] Yoga International: Learning to Exhale: 2-to-1 Breathing

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