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The Thief In All Of Us

The Thief In All Of Us

Have you ever held back on taking a step towards your career just because you thought of all the bad things that could go wrong?

“What if I failed? What if people never get to appreciate me? What if I die before I ever become known in my career?”

Have you ever changed plans on doing that one thing you felt would finally give you the liberation you seek just because the thought of being rejected invaded your mind? Have you ever denied yourself of totally being in love with someone because you felt you were not good enough for them and that fear kept you from bonding with them? If this sounds like you, then you might have a thief living deep inside your mind, and his or her name is Fear.

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    Fear is an enemy. One that comes to steal our lives from us in broad daylight, while we are wide awake and right in the middle of making a decision that is pivotal to our lives. Fear is most times unjustified, unrealistic, nameless, and unreasoning. I have had my own share of fear moments. Times when all I could see was a monster in the dark, and really I am very optimistic person, but when this thief called fear visits, your personality just doesn’t matter.

    However, I don’t think fear is all that bad. Sometimes, fear keeps us from making a wrong decision. Or, for some people, fear is the very reason they go ahead to achieve that goal they were scared of. The fear of failure pushes them to do extra and achieve more. This is putting the emotion called fear to good use; taking that which poses a threat and using it as a propeller for great achievement. For good.

    But for many, fear keeps us on hold. Fear keeps us captive. Fear stops us from breathing right when we need oxygen most. Fear makes us see the negatives to the situation and blinds us to the very obvious positives. Fear saps the very life out of us.

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      As much as fear appears to be real and big, it is only a product of our subconscious mind. You read that right. There’s nothing in the dark. Fear does not exist anywhere else but in the mind. Those things you are really afraid of are not real, it’s only happening in your mind. They are false evidences appearing real. And like everything else, what you pay attention to soon becomes your reality. Can you see why you need not pay attention to it?

      One thing fear does is steal the fuel for our drive and stops us from living the life we really want. Once you let fear rule over your decisions and choices, you may never get to that point of freedom where you define your life on your own terms. Every time you consider what could go wrong in your life, business, career, or relationship before taking a step, you are limiting your happiness and fulfillment as a person. Living perpetually in fear is as good as being dead. The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to be dead while alive.

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        Fear stops you from living even before you stop breathing. Fear keeps you on the edge and makes you average even when you are born with greatness. It crawls up slowly into your mind and deposits thoughts of doubt in there, creating a darkness that never once existed. Fear tells you cannot be great, though you have greatness in you. Fear tells you that you will fail at that project, but you have all it takes to be excellent at it. Fear tells you not to fall in love again because your partner will leave you just the way others have left, but you know what? You are just a decision away from finally meeting your dream partner. Fear is an enemy because it sells you the wrong perspective with the intent to stop you from living life to its fullest!

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          If you don’t want your life filled with regrets, you need to give up on fear. I haven’t seen one person who lived all their life in total fear and proclaimed they lived a fulfilling and satisfied life. At some point, you have to make a decision to live above your fears. Your fears should not become stumbling blocks to your greatness but a ladder with which you climb to the top of self realization and fulfillment.

          To that end, here are some tips that can help anyone looking to free themselves of this enemy. These tips have worked for me personally and I believe they will be of help to you too.

          1. Identify Your Fears

          What you do not know, you cannot confront. Pay close attention to your inner space, your mind. What are you really afraid of? What pictures do you see in your head? Take a mental view of what goes on in your mind. Stay conscious to your subconscious.

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          2. Talk To Someone

          When negative thoughts build up in your mind, one way to dispel them is to talk to someone. It could be a therapist, a trusted friend, your spouse, your kids, your parents — anybody you feel comfortable talking with. You don’t have to hold all that negative energy in. Talking about it stops the negative thoughts from gaining a foothold in your mind, and this is good if you really want to get rid of fear.

          3. Be Positive

          Negativity is the seed that bears the fruit called fear. Nip it in the bud by remaining positive. Instead of thinking of how bad things can get, think of how good things are and could be. Don’t focus too much on the negative.

          4. Face Your Fears

          Never run away from your fears. Don’t make excuses for them. Face them and sort them out with logic and reason. This will forever dissipate their existence in your mind. Take action. When you face your fears, they become weaker because you begin to see that things are not nearly as bad as what you think they are.

          Don’t let fear stop your awesomeness!

          Featured photo credit: IB Wira Dyatmika via unsplash.com

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          Last Updated on June 13, 2019

          5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

          5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

          Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

          You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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          1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

          It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

          Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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          2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

          If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

          3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

          If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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          4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

          A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

          5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

          If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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          Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

          Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

          Reference

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