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The Thief In All Of Us

The Thief In All Of Us

Have you ever held back on taking a step towards your career just because you thought of all the bad things that could go wrong?

“What if I failed? What if people never get to appreciate me? What if I die before I ever become known in my career?”

Have you ever changed plans on doing that one thing you felt would finally give you the liberation you seek just because the thought of being rejected invaded your mind? Have you ever denied yourself of totally being in love with someone because you felt you were not good enough for them and that fear kept you from bonding with them? If this sounds like you, then you might have a thief living deep inside your mind, and his or her name is Fear.

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    Fear is an enemy. One that comes to steal our lives from us in broad daylight, while we are wide awake and right in the middle of making a decision that is pivotal to our lives. Fear is most times unjustified, unrealistic, nameless, and unreasoning. I have had my own share of fear moments. Times when all I could see was a monster in the dark, and really I am very optimistic person, but when this thief called fear visits, your personality just doesn’t matter.

    However, I don’t think fear is all that bad. Sometimes, fear keeps us from making a wrong decision. Or, for some people, fear is the very reason they go ahead to achieve that goal they were scared of. The fear of failure pushes them to do extra and achieve more. This is putting the emotion called fear to good use; taking that which poses a threat and using it as a propeller for great achievement. For good.

    But for many, fear keeps us on hold. Fear keeps us captive. Fear stops us from breathing right when we need oxygen most. Fear makes us see the negatives to the situation and blinds us to the very obvious positives. Fear saps the very life out of us.

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      As much as fear appears to be real and big, it is only a product of our subconscious mind. You read that right. There’s nothing in the dark. Fear does not exist anywhere else but in the mind. Those things you are really afraid of are not real, it’s only happening in your mind. They are false evidences appearing real. And like everything else, what you pay attention to soon becomes your reality. Can you see why you need not pay attention to it?

      One thing fear does is steal the fuel for our drive and stops us from living the life we really want. Once you let fear rule over your decisions and choices, you may never get to that point of freedom where you define your life on your own terms. Every time you consider what could go wrong in your life, business, career, or relationship before taking a step, you are limiting your happiness and fulfillment as a person. Living perpetually in fear is as good as being dead. The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to be dead while alive.

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        Fear stops you from living even before you stop breathing. Fear keeps you on the edge and makes you average even when you are born with greatness. It crawls up slowly into your mind and deposits thoughts of doubt in there, creating a darkness that never once existed. Fear tells you cannot be great, though you have greatness in you. Fear tells you that you will fail at that project, but you have all it takes to be excellent at it. Fear tells you not to fall in love again because your partner will leave you just the way others have left, but you know what? You are just a decision away from finally meeting your dream partner. Fear is an enemy because it sells you the wrong perspective with the intent to stop you from living life to its fullest!

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          If you don’t want your life filled with regrets, you need to give up on fear. I haven’t seen one person who lived all their life in total fear and proclaimed they lived a fulfilling and satisfied life. At some point, you have to make a decision to live above your fears. Your fears should not become stumbling blocks to your greatness but a ladder with which you climb to the top of self realization and fulfillment.

          To that end, here are some tips that can help anyone looking to free themselves of this enemy. These tips have worked for me personally and I believe they will be of help to you too.

          1. Identify Your Fears

          What you do not know, you cannot confront. Pay close attention to your inner space, your mind. What are you really afraid of? What pictures do you see in your head? Take a mental view of what goes on in your mind. Stay conscious to your subconscious.

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          2. Talk To Someone

          When negative thoughts build up in your mind, one way to dispel them is to talk to someone. It could be a therapist, a trusted friend, your spouse, your kids, your parents — anybody you feel comfortable talking with. You don’t have to hold all that negative energy in. Talking about it stops the negative thoughts from gaining a foothold in your mind, and this is good if you really want to get rid of fear.

          3. Be Positive

          Negativity is the seed that bears the fruit called fear. Nip it in the bud by remaining positive. Instead of thinking of how bad things can get, think of how good things are and could be. Don’t focus too much on the negative.

          4. Face Your Fears

          Never run away from your fears. Don’t make excuses for them. Face them and sort them out with logic and reason. This will forever dissipate their existence in your mind. Take action. When you face your fears, they become weaker because you begin to see that things are not nearly as bad as what you think they are.

          Don’t let fear stop your awesomeness!

          Featured photo credit: IB Wira Dyatmika via unsplash.com

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          Last Updated on January 21, 2020

          The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

          The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

          Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

          your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

            Why You Need a Vision

            Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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            How to Create Your Life Vision

            Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

            What Do You Want?

            The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

            It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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            Some tips to guide you:

            • Remember to ask why you want certain things
            • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
            • Give yourself permission to dream.
            • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
            • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

            Some questions to start your exploration:

            • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
            • What would you like to have more of in your life?
            • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
            • What are your secret passions and dreams?
            • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
            • What do you want your relationships to be like?
            • What qualities would you like to develop?
            • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
            • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
            • What would you most like to accomplish?
            • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

            It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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            What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

            Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

            A few prompts to get you started:

            • What will you have accomplished already?
            • How will you feel about yourself?
            • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
            • What does your ideal day look like?
            • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
            • What would you be doing?
            • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
            • How are you dressed?
            • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
            • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
            • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

            It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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            Plan Backwards

            It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

            • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
            • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
            • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
            • What important actions would you have had to take?
            • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
            • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
            • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
            • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
            • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

            Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

            It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

            Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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