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Why We Must Do The Thing We Cannot Do

Why We Must Do The Thing We Cannot Do

It’s easy for forget. It’s easy to be overwhelmed  fear…by

But you have to be open to being uncomfortable in order to grow. That’s not to say that you need to struggle profoundly, but you do need to be willing to learn. The process of learning is all about spending time in the ‘unknown,’ dealing with uncertainty.

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We need to intentionally put ourselves in new situations where we encounter the unfamiliar

Take current health and fitness trends, for example. Chances are you’re a well-informed individual, who’s aware of fitness trends and health research. Maybe you’re even personally interested in working out in order to improve your health, achieve a personal goal or learn a new sport. In any case, you know that in order to become stronger, faster, increase agility and balance, you have to challenge your body.

If you don’t periodically switch up your routine – whether you lift weights, do yoga, or run – your level of fitness stabilizes. This is what’s known as homeostasis, a tendency toward equilibrium in the body’s physiological processes. This rule of thumb applies to our psychology as well. In order to learn, we need to intentionally put ourselves in new situations where we encounter the unfamiliar.

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If you’re even remotely like the rest of us, that is, you are not an interstellar alien or mythical creature of some sort, but human and therefore fallible, you can recognize how hard it can be to try new things. Even if you embrace the new in multiple areas of your life –  trying new foods, traveling, meeting new people, and so on, you have some awareness of your own particular patterns that hold you back.

“The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself”

Franklin D. Roosevelt said it best.

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Even the most fearless among us experiences fear. It is inarguably a survival instinct, rooted in our ancestral past when we needed to be cautious in order to avoid untimely death. However, we’ve transitioned from a primitive to a more sophisticated way of living, and no longer need to fend for our lives every second of the day. It’s time to challenge the fears that haunt us.

What Will Happen When You Do Things You Couldn’t Do?

When you endeavor to do the thing you cannot do, you’re most likely to fail at least a couple of times. Failure is completely normal and it provides valuable information. If, for example, your goal is to become a competent public speaker, because you’ve been held back by performance anxiety, you’re most likely going to flounder a bit when you first begin. And that’s okay. It’s what learning is all about.

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If you think about it, failure is probably the worst thing that will happen when you set out to do the thing you cannot do (yet). And when we fail, we might experience embarrassment, disappointment, even shame. This is when many of us give up on our big goals. Who wants to voluntarily feel like dirt? No one. It’s wise to plan ahead on what you’ll do when the powerful urge to save yourself from your wretched state has nearly convinced you to quit.

It may be beneficial to have a support group in place before you set out on your goal. To return to the public speaking example, you might consider attending Toastmasters International to learn presentation skills and practice in a support environment. If you want to tackle addiction, look into Alcoholics Anonymous or similar group. Having allies can be particularly important for individuals who are battling conditions like addiction.

Aside from the fact that you have nothing to lose, think about all that you might gain. Odds are good that you’ll find you’re capable of more than you thought. You will definitely learn something, perhaps that you don’t even like public speaking. Or maybe you’ll discover that you love and excel at writing speeches.

Bottom line: Do that thing you cannot do! You’ll make mistakes, even fail, but you’ll probably meet a new friend or two along the way. There’s nothing to lose.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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