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When You Become Quieter, You’ll Hear Much More

When You Become Quieter, You’ll Hear Much More

Now that we have more ways of connecting with others than ever before, our world has become noisier. With the rise of social media, everyone can have a voice and most people seem intent on letting the world know exactly what they think and feel, sometimes on a daily basis.

We live in a noisy world

We are bombarded with media generated by both big corporations and lone individuals. In some respects, the internet has been a major step forward in humanity’s development. We can talk to people in every country on almost any topic imaginable, at any hour of the day or night. Anyone can set up a blog, write articles, and contribute to internet forums.

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This presents great opportunities for learning about the world, and even forming new relationships with people we could never have encountered a couple of decades ago. On the other hand, we are at risk from information overload. As modern life becomes increasingly focused on self-expression, those of us who understand the importance of stillness and silence enjoy distinct advantages.

The power of silence

When you choose to live life at a lower volume, you and others around you start to benefit in unexpected ways. For a start, you feel much calmer when you take a slower, quieter view of life. You feel as though you have nothing to prove to those around you. You don’t feel compelled to let all your friends, family members and colleagues know every detail of your personal life. This relieves any pressure you might feel to conform to others’ standards or try to compete with them. Those who know how to be quiet are also more likely to find inspiration from unlikely sources.

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For example, taking a peaceful walk alone affords you priceless thinking space, which may help you gain more clarity when working through a difficult life problem. Quiet people who have the confidence to reflect before speaking are often perceived as more trustworthy and intelligent, as they give the impression that their thoughts are carefully formulated and not simply the result of knee-jerk reactions.

Listening more and talking less

To embrace the power of quiet means being willing to let others go first in expressing themselves and leading a conversation. When you take a step back and make a conscious decision to listen more than you talk, your whole perspective on relationships and the world in general starts to shift.

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You begin to realize that other people’s’ experiences can teach you a great deal, and that if you had kept the focus on you, you would have missed out on their valuable insights. Listening is a gesture of respect. In giving other people the chance to air their views, you are demonstrating that you hold them in high esteem and that they are worthy of time and attention. In our fast-paced and increasingly competitive world, this may be one of the most valuable gifts you can give. Many people feel stressed, under-appreciated and anxious about trying to live up to various standards imposed upon them by the media and by society at large.

When you offer them a space in which they can share what is on their minds and offer them psychological support, they may well feel respected for the first time in a long while. For this reason, those who know when to remain quiet often enjoy high-quality relationships. They feel secure enough in themselves that they don’t need to talk about their personal lives and opinions. They can allow other people the space to be themselves, and accept that everyone has their own stories to tell.

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More by this author

Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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