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Why You Should Be Really Grateful To The Friend Who Always Challenges You

Why You Should Be Really Grateful To The Friend Who Always Challenges You

It may seem obvious, or not so obvious to some, a friend or lover who challenges you is likely much better for you than one who always agrees with you or tells you you’re right.

 You complement each other.

Their strengths and your strengths will likely be different and will therefore complement each other. Are you great at organizing and planning, but suck at pulling the actual trigger on projects or big decisions? A friend or partner who isn’t as wobbly about taking command will inspire you to push forward, trust your gut and make decisions you might otherwise waffle on for months or years (or god forbid-a lifetime!). And you can help them by being an organized planner, when they know exactly what they want to do and are ready to do it, but could use a little more research, or a better thought out plan.

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For example, you might be the type of person who wants desperately to do something else with your life, but feels obligated to stick with the profession you have because you went to school forever and racked up student debt. You feel that you should be ‘grateful’ to have a steady paycheck. You may have researched a hundred programs that you’d like to take to attempt the new career change, but you never pulled the trigger on starting any of them. If you have a friend or partner who wants the best for you and isn’t afraid to be honest with you, they will encourage you to pursue your dreams. You may make a move sooner than you would have without them.

They stimulate our growth.

People don’t learn and grow by surrounding themselves with those identical to them who parrot their opinions, beliefs, likes, and dislikes and buffering themselves to the outside world. People learn and grow when they are stimulated or caused to stop and question things or to stand up for their own beliefs in the face of differing opinions.

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When we have to explain why we believe what we believe or want what we want, it forces us to face why (or if) we truly do believe or want what we tell ourselves we do. Often, when questioned these things over time, we find we don’t feel as strongly about these things as we thought). Yet, if left unquestioned, we tend to cling to old beliefs or ideals for no other reason than it’s what we’ve always known.

You get honest feedback even if you don’t like to hear it.

They’ll give you honest feedback or well meaning advice when you are making stupid decisions or can’t see things clearly for whatever reason (post-lust, heartbreak, or tragedy) instead of letting you barrel ahead to make decisions you will later regret.

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Like when you maybe texted a friend telling her how much you wanted to buy that oh-my-god gorgeous $400 dress even though you were broke, asking her if you should buy it. She knew you were trying to save up to pay off your school loans and that you shouldn’t be splurging now, but she still told you ‘sure you go girl! you deserve it!’ The end result -you regretted the purchase. Maybe you’ve had done it anyways, but you might not have made such an impulsive decision had it not been condoned and supported by your FF (False Friend aka enabler!)

There is a limit of course to how much of the time it’s cool for someone to question, argue/disagree with, or throw challenges at you. If someone is simply a difficult, argumentative person who tries to prove you wrong in a mean spirited ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ way, that’s not a recipe for a good friendship or happy relationship. But, as long as they’re doing so with good intentions, or because you are important to them and they don’t want to lie to you or let you do things (or not do things) you’ll regret doing (or not doing) later, it’s healthy.

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Whether you listen to them or not, you know that you can trust this kind of person to be honest and you’ll undoubtedly learn new ways of doing or looking at things thanks to them. And vice versa.

Are you a friend like this? Do you have a friend/friends like this? Share this with someone who challenges you or who you challenge.

Featured photo credit: Matthew Wiebe via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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