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6 Quick Ways To Remove Negative Energy Around You

6 Quick Ways To Remove Negative Energy Around You

Have you had the feeling lately that something is off? Are you lacking in positivity? Or do you maybe feel that there is some sort of negative ‘presence’ lingering around?

Negative energy can begin to permeate your entire life. Removing that energy from your life is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint where the problem is, or even that there is a problem. Sometimes the energy is palpable, sometimes it just hangs around. The first step is recognising that it is there, then you can continue to find out how can you rid yourself, and your home, of these negative vibes.

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1. Smudging

The ancient American practise of smudging was used as a purification ceremony for certain spaces. Sacred herbs were used to help clear the negative energy from a room or space. The burning of these certain herbs, such as Sage, is not only considered a spiritual practise, but a scientific one too. The herbs are said to release negative ions, the oxygen atoms that are charged by electrons. Negatively charged Ions are created effectively in nature by water, air, and sunlight. This is what makes us feel calm and re-energised when we are in nature and breathing fresh air. It is your body being awash with negative ions.

2. Talking To Yourself

In other words: ‘Positive affirmations”. When we think positive, we are attracting positive energy. And in turn, we are expelling negative energy. Our brains work in the way that they become used to thoughts. The brain will mould itself so that similar thoughts, or a thought that is occurring frequently, can come faster and faster. This is called a thought pattern.

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This is why we should train our brains to think positive, and also what will convert positive thought into positive energy. That way, we are reaping what we sow. So talk to yourself! Mutter away. Just keep it positive.

3. Meditating

Studies through recent decades have shown us that the brain is in fact, quite malleable. We no longer accept that what we are born with is what we’ve got. The brain can change – and it can change a lot.

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Meditating, particularly meditation concentrating on mindfulness, allows us to exist in the moment. We can practice being slow and to recognise our present state and become peaceful with it. We are not letting our minds exist in the past or the future that is yet to happen. In other words, we are not worrying, and we are not connecting that worry to the negative energy surrounding it. We become slow and peaceful. Mindfulness takes practice, but it will change your life.

4. Singing

Singers live longer! Everybody knows that. Singing is great for mental health, for feeling good about yourself. It improves cognition, can lower your blood pressure, it develops your lung power and your posture and basically gives you more general positive energy. This, we all know, beats off negative energy. Singing attracts positivity, and you can do it anywhere you like.

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5. Walking In Nature

Returning the concept of negative ions, one quick and easy way to remove negative energy from your surroundings is by getting out and greeting Mother Earth. There are a plethora of health benefits that are instantaneous, the greatest being a decrease in stress. We feel refreshed and restored after walking with trees and other natural elements full of oxygen atoms, and we are more capable of facing the tougher parts of life that may seem overwhelming when negative energy is also hanging around. The same also goes for …

6. Being By The Sea

Science has shown the attributes that come from simply being around water. It induces a calm and meditative state, allows us a feeling of cool cleansing, and is very rich in negative ions. Even a lake or a river can be beneficial, but there is just something extra special about the vastness of the ocean. So if you get the chance – visit the seaside. Your mind and body will thank you.

Featured photo credit: Ezra Jeffrey via unsplash.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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